Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[DoWork]

I was sitting on the gondola a week ago, enjoying some free passes to Strappon a.k.a. Stratton when I got into a convo about proper care of skis (which I was explaining to my newbie gf) with one of the other occupants. When I got to how important ski wax is, he said "Nah, I don't need that- mine are shiny enough already and water still beads up on them ok." Supergaper thought the wax was for your topsheets. Fan-fucking-tastic.

[MMP]

"I've got dicks up my ass"

lady, stopped on Ballroom Traverse at Alta, yelled to her husband after i asked if she was going, she said she was waiting for her husband to get down. I went around her, then one of my kids went around her after I did. this was reported to me by my son (age 11) who was still behind her after we left.

[Dudley]

So, I got on a highspeed quad this sunday.... its snowing pretty hard and I look over and see I am riding with three snowboarders. They spent the entire lift ride talking about matching their pants to their jackets, etc. I laughed out loud when the one guy looks to his buddies and says....

"I'm totally stressed. Season's almost over and I still cant find a pant to match with my purple and brown pinstripe jacket... havent been able to wear it all season"

to which his buddy replied

"whatever.... at least you dont have like 8 outfits. I just cant stop, the deals are so sick right now"

I was shaking my head off of the lift.... especially since the one with 8 outfits was on a directional burton than had to have been circa 92

[Pudderhora]

Snobby youngster customer to salesman: Do you have skins for such fat skis with a really wide tip?
Same kid a little later: Im gonna get my dad to buy those boots for me, they look so cool.

A few years ago in Chamonix a british woman was standing at the bottom station of the Aiguille du Midi tram in her snowboots, leather jacket and Gucci glasses asking me: Is this the lift to Mont Blanc?
Answer: No, it goes to the Aiguille du Midi.
Woman: Is it far to hike from the top of the lift?
Answer: Yes
Woman: Oh, that's a pity. (really disappointed)

[senior researcher]

"Rolf won he went 200' "

[Sinecure]

I just remembered one from a long time ago. Back in the day of tighter ski pants, I wore my knee brace on the outside of my pants. One English woman remarks to husband "Oh, look how well he skis with a wooden leg."

[yeti90]

foreruner quad at stowe, guy had a nice mustache

we come over an area where the cair is like 4 feet above the snow and there are markers around the are
he says " hey must be some rocks under there, dangerous stuff."

and the classic, " whoa look he is skiing backwards!!"

[oftpiste]

Yesterday, two showboarders on a six-pack chair didn't clip out so their boards basically took up all the room for anyone else's feet.

[paulster2626]

foreruner quad at stowe, guy had a nice mustache

we come over an area where the cair is like 4 feet above the snow and there are markers around the are
he says " hey must be some rocks under there, dangerous stuff."

and the classic, " whoa look he is skiing backwards!!"

Same lift last Thursday, I was riding with 3 girls, aged about 14 and all had rentals. One asked why those markers were there. One said that it was to ski around, like a race. One said it was so you didn't get your head chopped off. I put my music back on.

[snoweater]

I work in a reservation center, and had a guest call screaming at a fellow supervisor that they "booked a 2 bedroom and only got a one bedroom" and wanted to be moved right away. Sad part is they only needed to open the door to their adjoining room...and had been there for 3 days without figuring it out.

[BestofShow]

A few weeks ago I met some friends at Mount Snow, a.k.a. Camp NYC.
I couldn't resist snapping a shot of this coug on safari.

[snoweater]

wtf, ur jacket should not be longer than your skis...

[eblackwelder]

All of these happened in one gaperific jongalicious Presidents week. Consider this a gaper quote trip report.

At my home mountain on Sunday, I encountered a junior gaper. He was sitting alone in the snow with his equipment sprawled around him. His sneakers were off, and his very thick wool socks were covered in snow as he tried in vain to get his ski boots on while slipping around. I asked him where his family was - he said in the lodge. I asked him why he didn't go there to gear up - he thought that what he was doing would be faster. I pointed to a picnic table about 10 feet in front of him and suggested that it would be easier to sit there to put his boots on. He proceeded to carry his boots there while walking in his socks instead of putting his sneakers back on, caking his socks with even more snow.

On Tuesday, getting on a plane to head out for a CO ski trip, the two of us have ski boots hanging from a shoulder, I have my National Ski Patrol hat on, and my friend has his Snowbird hat on and his helmet strapped to his backpack. (someone here I'm sure will call me a gaper for looking like that on a plane) Someone asks "So, are you guys going skiing?"

Amazingly enough, there were no gaper incidents when we skied Breck, Copper, or Loveland, but we hit them on weekdays. Then on Saturday at A-Basin, the gapers came out in full force. Apparently even A-Basin is not immune to them during a President's day vacation weekend.

<rant> Getting off the lift in Montezuma bowl, the 3 people in front of us fall in a pile. They lay there laughing. We hop off and are barely able to get around them. After about 3 more chairs unload and somehow avoid them, they are still there laughing and just starting to attempt to get up. It takes them a few more chairs of unloading before fully getting out of the way. Next time, get your asses out of the way first, then laugh about it off to the side. </rant>

I was skating about 50 feet up a pretty flat catwalk to get to some nice somewhat steep trees and bumps. Two older women who were stopped at the point I wanted to get to stared at me with mouths agape. When I got there:
Gapers: Where are you going?
Me: (pointing to the trees) Down there.
Gapers: (pointing to the catwalk) And that looks better to you than that?
Me: Um, yup.
Gapers: I don't get it.
Me: Yeah, me either.
I give them a friendly smile and head into the trees.

Sitting on the deck with a few beers after a great day of skiing. A couple of doods with a Texas accent join our table. I overhear this:
Gaper 1: So how was that last run?
Gaper 2: Great. I hit big jump in the trick park.
Gaper 1: Cool. Did you land it?
Gaper 2: Yeah, but I fell after I landed.

[counterfeitfake]

Sitting on the deck with a few beers after a great day of skiing. A couple of doods with a Texas accent join our table. I overhear this:
Gaper 1: So how was that last run?
Gaper 2: Great. I hit big jump in the trick park.
Gaper 1: Cool. Did you land it?
Gaper 2: Yeah, but I fell after I landed.

What, you've never seen someone hit a kicker and never land?

[Moship192]

I work in a reservation center, and had a guest call screaming at a fellow supervisor that they "booked a 2 bedroom and only got a one bedroom" and wanted to be moved right away. Sad part is they only needed to open the door to their adjoining room...and had been there for 3 days without figuring it out.

That is ripping awesome

[fantastic_damage]

My roomate's buddy came out for a week of skiing.
I was getting ready to wax my board and he is watching me/asking me questions about the process.

As I am done prepping the area and proceeding to take off my bindings from the board he notices what I am doing and asks "oh you wax the top of the board as well?"

[BmillsSkier]

Sitting on the deck with a few beers after a great day of skiing. A couple of doods with a Texas accent join our table. I overhear this:
Gaper 1: So how was that last run?
Gaper 2: Great. I hit big jump in the trick park.
Gaper 1: Cool. Did you land it?
Gaper 2: Yeah, but I fell after I landed.

I believe that's called "Afterbang".

[eblackwelder]

"oh you wax the top of the board as well?"

Sure. It works just like a surfboard brah.

[NickAA]

http://www.youtube.com/wat­ch?v=fA7Q...c­hannel_page

No seriously, don't just watch the first couple seconds, tough it out and watch the whole thing. It's like "The Office" meets Alpental. Effing Hilarious.

Oh, and a pic:

[JimmyCarter]

One of the kids I was skiing with this weekend, re: the Recco Reflector on his jacket:
"It's so if you're in an avalanche, they have this light and it will reflect off it so they can find you in the debris"

Me: ...

Eventually I pointed out that it wouldn't work very well in most situations if that was the case. He then thought about it a little more and realized why.

[JohnF]

No seriously, don't just watch the first couple seconds, tough it out and watch the whole thing. It's like "The Office" meets Alpental. Effing Hilarious.

Oh, and a pic:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[dumpy]

One of the kids I was skiing with this weekend, re: the Recco Reflector on his jacket:
"It's so if you're in an avalanche, they have this light and it will reflect off it so they can find you in the debris"

Me: ...

Eventually I pointed out that it wouldn't work very well in most situations if that was the case. He then thought about it a little more and realized why.

Right concept, wrong frequency

[JimmyCarter]

Right concept, wrong frequency

He's a smart kid (MD) just obviously trying to back into it without quite thinking it through, just took the word 'reflector' and ran

[dumpy]

He's a smart kid (MD) just obviously trying to back into it without quite thinking it through, just took the word 'reflector' and ran

Sounds like most kids...




or maggots

[neil.]

And here I always thought the probe was an "apres ski" device...

no thats just you and your special buddy

My partner Malcolm and I