Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**JohnF** · 02-20-2009, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by johngenx

How else will be you be able to tell your buddies where you're buried...?

HALP! HALP!

**Ccard257** · 02-20-2009, 10:40 AM

"Well i just dont get what the big deal is. I mean, they could just lend us the stuff for a run no problem. And anyways, whats there to understand? You've got your shovel, your probe, and your tranceiver, and you push the button to talk..."

"MARCO!"

**Full Throttle!** · 02-20-2009, 11:01 AM

That reminds me of a woman who thought that an avalanche probe was for assembling by the buried victim... so that they could stick it up out of the snow to be found!

**yippeekiyayMF** · 02-20-2009, 01:14 PM

"...POLO!"

**wardog** · 02-20-2009, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Everyone knows you need to switch it to "Talk" first, then push the button. Idiots.

Aw heck, it doesn't matter anyway. You can just get out your probe and extend it straight up through the debris so your friends can see where you are.

**JimmyCarter** · 02-20-2009, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by wardog

Aw heck, it doesn't matter anyway. You can just get out your probe and extend it straight up through the debris so your friends can see where you are.

I ski with giant balloons tied to my powder ribbons, so I don't need to worry about these things.

**brice618** · 02-20-2009, 01:47 PM

"So I am a pretty extreme downhill skier who has just delved into the world of Tele and AT skiing."

http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=151914

**johngenx** · 02-20-2009, 02:00 PM

And here I always thought the probe was an "apres ski" device...

**OSECS** · 02-20-2009, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

And here I always thought the probe was an "apres ski" device...

It is if you use it correctly.

**leroy jenkins** · 02-20-2009, 02:30 PM

Heard someone say jumping into powder was more dangerous than hardpack recently.

**johngenx** · 02-20-2009, 03:01 PM

Originally Posted by leroy jenkins

Heard someone say jumping into powder was more dangerous than hardpack recently.

Keep them thinking that. If you hear that, jump in and get all excited and explain how powder is avalanche prone, causes weak bridges over the glacier crevasses (of course we're on a glacier, fool) and should be avoided at all costs. Green-circle means "Go for safety!" oh, and stay out of the backcountry at all costs...

**old goat** · 02-20-2009, 07:08 PM

It's ski week here at Tahoe and the epic snow has been exceeded only by the epic gaperdom. Today I watched a guy herringbone up to a lift, slide backwards down at a highly respectable rate of speed and take out a snowboarder. My own gaper move--managed to kick my binding heel with my other ski and got to watch the ski go half way down a fairly steep chute.

I have found a way to improve the quality of lift conversation though--I have a KVMR sticker on one ski (that's a radio station for aging hippies) and a Fender sticker on the other--sometimes we talk about something other than the weather and the skiing. Fewer gaper quotes though.

**stop_teletime** · 02-20-2009, 10:08 PM

I heard about this one guy who asked: Where do the ski resorts put all the moguls during the summer?

He thought that moguls were plastic domes with snow on top of them or something.

**The Eagle Spreader** · 02-21-2009, 03:22 AM

This is actually from a couple years ago at Stevens, on a clear night with the stars out...

Gaper- "that bright light marks the top of the mountain."

Inside my brain- "No my friend, that is in fact the planet Venus."

**El Chupacabra** · 02-21-2009, 09:08 AM

Not a quote, but a photo: saw this guy at Mt. Rose last weekend, snowboarding in this awesome space-alien coat (it's much more shiny and reflective in real life):

**waltonhockey05** · 02-21-2009, 09:12 AM

The bindings are a nice touch too.

VC · 02-21-2009, 09:16 AM

Riding up the Chair with my Bluehouse Shoots.

Guy: Are those, those reverse camber skis
Me: Yes
Guy: I don't understand why people ride those
Me: Why's that
Guy: (In almost Napoleon Dynamite like tone): Because you can't even carve.

**vbeaureg** · 02-21-2009, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by JimmyCarter

Was riding the bachelor's gulch lift at Beaver Creek with my brother and some 80 year old who was back skiing on a new hip.

also at bc, late middle aged douche yells down from the lift, "close up that gap!" at a skier with perfectly normal form (not excessive attention to glued thighs and vail-swivel hips), then proceeded to resume conversation about ski fashion labels.

**seel25** · 02-21-2009, 02:15 PM

was asked this dandy on the bus the other day "you can ski in the spring?"

**pappag** · 02-21-2009, 02:21 PM

Today after hitching a ride back to the top of Berthoud pass:

Me: Today is a great day to test your backcountry skills.
Guy in car on his 2nd backcountry day ever and 1st this year: Yeah ... it's a great day to learn some.

**booner** · 02-21-2009, 02:28 PM

Guy today on lift..."BAAAR"...I look up at the bar to avoid it, but it's still up...and he's just looking straight ahead

**jonesy** · 02-21-2009, 02:52 PM

Older couple got me with the bar yesterday. No warning just pulled it down before leaving the terminal. Guy next to me says "That's why I wear a Helmet". Stupid old fucks just chatted away like nothing happened. Got to the top and they couldn't lift the bar up. Someone still had their skis on the rest.......

**Aussie_ripper** · 02-21-2009, 05:51 PM

Big Sky is really starting to blow my mind lately. The triple that takes you to the Tram is packed to capacity with idiots. Watched a guy side step the entire choke of the only interesting feature off that lift. If he had gone straight we would have had a turn and he'd be safe. Just after he finished pussy footing around I hucked the rock he was avoiding and straightlined that shit. Just sayin' "yo".
Also the next person that talks to me about how to avoid the powder is going to get a pole up their arse.

**Vt-Freeheel** · 02-21-2009, 09:28 PM

Sugarbush Vt. Waffle Hut, stopped at picnic table to adjust boot. Two women yaking, one says" heli skiing sucks, I would rather go cat skiing, as there isn't any snow flying around".

**butterscotch** · 02-21-2009, 11:39 PM

This thread continues to deliver.

From today:
- Skied Saddle Peak with the rest of Bozeman. It's a very short sidecountry hike so it gets skied by a lot of idiots. While we were waiting to drop in, a group of three "hardcore locals" asked my partner to "step back from the cornice". He was very clearly not on or near anything resembling a cornice. They skied one by one, but met up halfway down in the middle of a slide path. Brilliant.

- Not a quote, but I saw a woman wearing a small camelbak and then another backpack over top of that.