Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**dumpy** · 02-12-2009, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by intheWRONGsummitcounty

I think that's the winner for best gaper quote

I'm getting the feeling this guy just doesn't get it....

Maybe his sarcasm sensor is broken,

**JohnF** · 02-12-2009, 08:18 AM

Please stop hurting this thread.

Thank you.

**johngenx** · 02-12-2009, 08:23 AM

Denver "nuggets?"

**Johnny Deep** · 02-12-2009, 08:59 AM

This one is pretty good:

"...and that's exactly the problem. you, your 12 year old sister, your mom, every gaper that plunked down their $199 for a pieps freeride transciever are skiing that."

**DJMingus** · 02-12-2009, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by deuce

as opposed to his soft-shell helmet? you are now the gaper who made the best gaper quote of the weekend!

oooh, sorry I slagged your rad alien-style helmet brah.

**snapt** · 02-12-2009, 10:39 AM

speaking of helmets a gentleman i saw last weekend had a visor strapped to his brimless helmet. functional yet retarded. anyone else spotted this?

**Chowda** · 02-12-2009, 10:50 AM

^^^^

Was it Jonny Moseley?

**Brock Landers** · 02-12-2009, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by intheWRONGsummitcounty

So you do want a quote, then you don't. Did you provide one yourself, big guy? Nope, and I did. Maybe you are the one wasting time on this thread. Do you even ski? The second half of your username would indicate otherwise...

Youre terrible. Go away.

**johngenx** · 02-12-2009, 03:13 PM

Not a skiing story, but still amusing. My partner Malcolm and I were preparing to climb Murchison Falls as this other pair was racking up. The guy with the screws was going on and on about being an ice-god and all the WI6 routes he'd led, so this was going to be such an easy day for him. On and fuckin' on he went. We decided that since he was so stout, he should lead off, as we would obviously be much slower. This guy gets about 10M off the deck, hasn't put a screw in yet, and is pumped out like crazy. He's swinging his tools like he's rebuilding the entire railway and is about to fall off and take a 10M deck-out. Finally, he manages to weld in his tool and is hanging from the leash while he's placing a screw.

Malcolm is taking the first lead, and quickly zaps in a screw and in no time is passing the ice-god-dude. Just as he's going by, the ice-god is clipping the screw to his harness and is hanging off it. Malcolm, with an even tone in his Aussie-accented voice, says:

"It's time to put your big girl panties on, and suck it up princess."

Not a new line by any means, but the timing and his deadpan delivery were perfect. I wish I was one of those people that always knew the "right" thing to say at those moments. Fortunately for me, Malcolm is!

Ice-God-dude and his inexperienced partner didn't make the top of the first pitch, and we never saw them again.

**bfr** · 02-12-2009, 03:29 PM

Dudes...I came across the most incredible collection of gaper quotes ever. Just had to share them with you:

Here

Get 'em while they're hot...and the search still works.

**Brock Landers** · 02-12-2009, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

Not a skiing story, but still amusing.

Not a skiing story, not amusing, nothing but 13 seconds of boredom until I couldnt read anymore. Thanks a lot.

**Making a Pizza** · 02-12-2009, 05:00 PM

Not a quote, but a rather fun thing to witness..At keystone (I know I know) a couple of weeks ago was there with my brother and a couple of his friends, teaching one of them to ski. So we spent most of the day on the magic carpet at the top of the gondola. The bottom of the magic carpet area is fenced off with sweet orange fences and there's a small drop off to the green groomer next to the carpet area. Waiting to ride back up this kid probably 7 or 8 years old comes hauling ass down to the bottom and hits the fence, he double ejects, skis go under the fence, he flips over the top...it was rad.

**encore** · 02-12-2009, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by intheWRONGsummitcounty

About as bad as the denver nuggets

Dude, you don't watch the NBA do you? Denver is one of the better teams in the NBA and they are leading their division

**bfr** · 02-12-2009, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Making a Pizza

Not a quote...So we spent most of the day on the magic carpet at the top of the gondola...sweet orange fences...it was rad.

Sounds rad dude. Wish I was there. Probably only thing radder would be watching you make pizzas at Domino's

**Making a Pizza** · 02-12-2009, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by bfr

Sounds rad dude. Wish I was there. Probably only thing radder would be watching you make pizzas at Domino's

That would be Dudette, and I don't sell pizzas, I eat them.

**liv2ski** · 02-12-2009, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by Brock Landers

Not a skiing story, not amusing, nothing but 13 seconds of boredom until I couldnt read anymore. Thanks a lot.

Brock, that was funny.

**ian9139** · 02-12-2009, 09:00 PM

the trick is to play both songs at the same time ^, to really get the feel for the gaper moment. I guess throwing on the black and gold one piece can't hurt either.

**sean890** · 02-12-2009, 10:42 PM

so i got two interesting ones.

a) while at the moose the other day and guy turns to my friend and asks some questions about the JH trail map. question number 1, while pointing at the little icon of the tram on the map. "So, is that a mid station where it stops or are there two separate trams?"

b) on the gondi the other day, a group of elderly people start their discussion with "So yea, Thunder is the new Casper." To which all of them agree. does anyone have a fucking clue what this means?

**johngenx** · 02-13-2009, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by Brock Landers

Not a skiing story, not amusing, nothing but 13 seconds of boredom until I couldn't read anymore. Thanks a lot.

If one were to peruse the annals (WHOA! I said "annal" NOT "ANAL," so zip it back up, didn't mean to get you so excited) of this thread you'd find a series of common themes...

1. My great big fat (calm down buddy, the next word is skis, not cock) skis are so incredible that the gapers just can't resist making stupid remarks about them. The same fuckin' three remarks over and over again spanning thirty some pages. And we all think it's funny again, and again, and again?

2. Some gaper thought rear-entry (sorry, I couldn't think of any other way of saying "rear-entry", but deal with your chubby somewhere else, okay?) boots were rad. Still funny after the hundredth post!

3. Oh, my GOD, some gaper was wearing a goofy outfit, perhaps even a one-piece suit!! (hey, we managed to get through one without you reaching for your zipper!)

I'm sure you waste a helluva lot more than thirteen seconds playing pocket pool in the lift line (yes, that snowboarder can tell you're doing it, and that's why she stepped out of line to "fix" her bindings and let you ride solo. Of course, she was throwing up a little in her mouth too...) but I'll apologize anyway for wasting your incredibly valuable time that could have been better spent reading the same three posts over, and over again...

**dumpy** · 02-13-2009, 10:16 AM

Ok here's a (hopefully) original one, not a quote, not from this past weekend (more like 15 years ago) and it's not something I saw, but something I used to do.

When I was ~15, I used to spin my skis around (flat tails, pre twin tips), put my heel into the toe piece and step down with my toe into the heel piece and I would ski like this for a run or two at our local bump (often times more) after school. Yes, it pre-released a lot, yes it was weird to turn, no I have no idea why I started doing this.

this wasn't so much a stupid gaper mistake, just a really dumb youthfull boredom killer. Knowing what I now know about boots, bindings and DIN standards, I'm shocked I ever did this, but it is what convinced me (again pre-twin tips) that skiing switch is possible. Started doing that soon after.

**Brock Landers** · 02-13-2009, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by johngenx

If one were to peruse the annals (WHOA! I said "annal" NOT "ANAL," so zip it back up, didn't mean to get you so excited) of this thread you'd find a series of common themes...

1. My great big fat (calm down buddy, the next word is skis, not cock) skis are so incredible that the gapers just can't resist making stupid remarks about them. The same fuckin' three remarks over and over again spanning thirty some pages. And we all think it's funny again, and again, and again?

2. Some gaper thought rear-entry (sorry, I couldn't think of any other way of saying "rear-entry", but deal with your chubby somewhere else, okay?) boots were rad. Still funny after the hundredth post!

3. Oh, my GOD, some gaper was wearing a goofy outfit, perhaps even a one-piece suit!! (hey, we managed to get through one without you reaching for your zipper!)

I'm sure you waste a helluva lot more than thirteen seconds playing pocket pool in the lift line (yes, that snowboarder can tell you're doing it, and that's why she stepped out of line to "fix" her bindings and let you ride solo. Of course, she was throwing up a little in her mouth too...) but I'll apologize anyway for wasting your incredibly valuable time that could have been better spent reading the same three posts over, and over again...

The same three posts over and over again...and you still managed to add absolutely nothing. Your story about some loser who couldnt climb a rock made me want to watch grass grow. You could not be more uninteresting. If you want to post some "exciting" stories or generally anything else at all, start another thread and stop cunting up this one.

Your posts are like a disease and it doesnt need to kill the thread.

Helldawg · 02-13-2009, 11:41 AM

In the Gondi, at a hill in VT:

Me: Lets hit up (run-x)

Snowboarding Acquaintance: Fuck that dude, that's a diamond!

Me: So? You're a pretty good rider.

SA: Yeah but diamonds have bumps. You can't do bumps on a board.

[Pregnant Pause]

Skiing Buddy: No, YOU can't do bumps on a board.

Everyone: [Snickers]

**DoWork** · 02-13-2009, 01:40 PM

Read on one of those "other" interwebz forums...

"What the hell is this metal hook for on my ski pants' leg cuff for? It hurts like hell when I buckle my boots down on it."

Funny for so many reasons.

**johngenx** · 02-13-2009, 02:11 PM

Originally Posted by Helldawg

In the Gondi, at a hill in VT:

Me: Lets hit up (run-x)

Snowboarding Acquaintance: Fuck that dude, that's a diamond!

Me: So? You're a pretty good rider.

SA: Yeah but diamonds have bumps. You can't do bumps on a board.

[Pregnant Pause]

Skiing Buddy: No, YOU can't do bumps on a board.

Everyone: [Snickers]

Did you have that pre-approved by Brock to ensure it was to his standard of "not cunting up his thread?" 'Cause I'll be honest with you, it's funny, but it's one of those moments that is MUCH funnier in person thanks to timing, expression, and so on.

And hey, I wish I was there. I love Snickers bars..

**Nathan Explosion** · 02-13-2009, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

Did you have that pre-approved by Brock to ensure it was to his standard of "not cunting up his thread?" 'Cause I'll be honest with you, it's funny, but it's one of those moments that is MUCH funnier in person thanks to timing, expression, and so on.

And hey, I wish I was there. I love Snickers bars..

Congratulations on being a complete jackass.

And I would know, I'm a huge jackass, but I haven't yet made it as far as "complete".

You're an inspiration.