Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**oftpiste** · 02-10-2009, 06:45 PM

Guy skiing last weekend in mid 30's temps wearing a full-on neoprene facemask with nose, goggles, no hat. Kinda had to be there.

**skiATL** · 02-10-2009, 07:13 PM

^that reminds me of people I see walking around campus (I go to Georgia Tech) when it's about 35-40 degrees with huge jackets on, with the hoods up too, like it was 0 degrees. It's also funny to see people wearing hoodies and jackets when its 60 degrees...stupid southerners...oh wait

**kokomas** · 02-10-2009, 07:43 PM

what is the benefit of buckling your ski boots tight? does it keep the snow out?

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-10-2009, 07:48 PM

I finally got hit with the bar, today. (I never have before).
That felt good.
I shoulda pushed him over when I got off the lift, d-bag.
More people seem to know about Moonlight. It's awesome watching lief-dropping snowboarders flatten out the snow. From power ---> Rocks! If you wanna face the direction you're going, ski.

**karpiel** · 02-10-2009, 08:12 PM

Saw a boarder take damn near this exact line today.

**stump832** · 02-10-2009, 08:19 PM

"Got change for a nickel?"

**oftpiste** · 02-10-2009, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by stump832

"Got change for a nickel?"

Get a life, beater.

**Pablo Escobar** · 02-10-2009, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by stump832

"Got change for a nickel?"

you got any hookers or blow ?

**ian9139** · 02-10-2009, 09:33 PM

at okemo (free place to stay) they have signs that say "moguls ahead", because a) people dont pay attention to the trail symbols anymore and b) everything thats groomed skis about the same there anyway

after a recent storm, they hurried to put signs everywhere they didn't groom, where the mini-moguls formed by the end of the day

on one trail, the sign was placed a little too far from the entrance, so you could not read it until you were already onto the trail.

a man waits near the top while a lady, dragging one ski in each hand, struggles to "hike" 15 feet to where he is, so they can continue down another trail. Exasperated, she asks him, "where did all the moguls come from?"

If she actually knew that moguls are not little plastic mounds under the snow, and was just annoyed, than I apologize for over gaperifying her, but the entire scene was quite funny.

**H0G** · 02-10-2009, 09:39 PM

"I rented a board and bindings, do I need boots?" this was in the locker room at WP

wow!

edit,
I also saw 3 boarders in jester hats laying in the middle of a trail. I flew by them before I could get my camera out.

**jwproulx** · 02-10-2009, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by H0G

I also saw 3 boarders in jester hats laying in the middle of a trail. I flew by them before I could get my camera out.

Jester hat, nothing. I saw a teenage kid up at Lunch Rock at MJ wearing a jacket that was intended to look like a banana. Bright yellow, stripes and little brown spots, the stem coming out of the neck, the other end dangling in front of the crotch.

**The Duke of Hurl** · 02-10-2009, 10:24 PM

Heard on line at the local 6-pack chair: "Did you see where they now have 12 person chairs in Colorado, they have 2 6 person chairs running next to each other."

**Meadow Skipper** · 02-10-2009, 10:49 PM

Today, Santa Fe, boot deep powder by 10 am, snowing harder all the time, almost no one on the hill, untracked everywhere: "Why isn't the terrain park open?"

Who cares?

**ian9139** · 02-10-2009, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

Today, Santa Fe, boot deep powder by 10 am, snowing harder all the time, almost no one on the hill, untracked everywhere: "Why isn't the terrain park open?"

Who cares?

When it snows I like to hit the closed terrain park for some fresh once other stuff becomes tracked out.

**johngenx** · 02-11-2009, 03:57 PM

I don't have a lot of experience at resorts, but find them interesting for the people that I see there. My observation is that the majority of the skiers are not "mountain loving" people, in that they aren't really there for the aesthetic beauty of the mountains. They're there for some skiing, some eating, some whatever. They dump Red Bull cans (though most could go without the calories in Red Bull) on the snow, leave wrappers and ciggy packages all over, and are generally slobs. I guess the sheer volume of people means that you're just going to get that percentage that are fuckwads.

I have seen some of the stuff contained in the last 36 pages, including many questions about my skis (though G3 Spitfires with Freerides are FAR from radical skis, sheesh) and bindings. But, most people are just curious and certainly are not being rude or obnoxious about it. So, I am polite back and explain why they're different.

I see folks in one-piece neon suits from the 1980's, but I hate tossing gear that works, so if I had one, I might use it too. I use my belay parka on descents 'cause I can't afford it and a fancy ski jacket too, so I'm probably guilty of some ski-hill-fashion faux-pas as well.

If you bash into me in the lift line, you might get some shit from me. If you're just a new skier and having trouble, hey, we were all new at some point. But, if you're just being an asshole not paying attention and ram your tips repeatedly into the backs of my boots, I'll tell you to fuck off.

I don't like people that try to ski something way out of their league and I don't like fools that go through the slow zones at Warp 10. As to the first point, though, sometimes people get in over their heads without knowing it. I came across a kid, about 10, standing off to the side at the top of a very steep drop-off. The section below was much mellower, but he was paralyzed with fear at the initial 30M or so. I stopped and talked to him for a minute and realized he'd taken a wrong turn. I showed him where to go, and by backing up a little (off to the side!) and making some adjustments, he was able to get down to where he needed to be. Is it too hard to help someone out once in a while?

Some of my climbing and skiing friends are professional guides and considered among the best on the planet for their skills. They are the most humble people I know and though they see the dumbest shit imaginable in the mountains, they will intercede and provide corrective advice and assistance, but never act like assholes about it. These folks never lord their superior skill over anyone. I think it a good example.

Now, that said, I do work once a week (As a school teacher, I don't make enough dough to support my skiing/climbing habit, so I need the Pro-Deals) in an outdoor store and we sell climbing and BC ski gear, and some people do come in with a real chip on their shoulder about their experience/skill level and so on, and they play a game of "you're the lowly employee here and I am a ski/climbing God!" Unless they make it obvious that they're going to go out and hurt themselves or someone else, I just let them puff out their chest and get their rocks off. However, yes, like this thread, we will mock them afterwords.

**intheWRONGsummitcounty** · 02-11-2009, 04:28 PM

Edit: scratch the drunk guy. I thought these blue things that protect the butts from cold on the chairlifts that some poeple wear are ridiculous. But my quote is on the next page.

**PuderLuder** · 02-11-2009, 04:40 PM

"Richard, stay high"

**carvedog** · 02-11-2009, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

I don't have a lot of experience at resorts, but find them interesting for the people that I see there. My observation .......

Originally Posted by intheWRONGsummitcounty

There is no quote, just the smell of alcohol up outside a mid-mountain chairlift. Seriously, wtf, people should not drink and ski......

Was there something inviting commentary in the first post?

Not trying to be mean here, but I read both of those posts expecting something humorous, upbeat, retarded and I all got was a headache.

Go start your own Facking thread if you want to talk about gapers and their humanity.

So the new one I got the other day ( or not so new ) brushing about six inches off the car - " Do you think it will be any good up there today?"

Possible responses -
" No you should wait until this small blessing goes through 20 or so freeze/thaw cycles before you go near it you fucking wanktard." ummm, scratch that.

"Yeah unless it gets a little foggy up top and you seize up like a 250 Bultaco on the ridge and I run over your got-to-be-asking-if-fresh-snow-is-good ass?" ok take a breath.

"Yeah I think it will be ok." Heh, heh. That's the best I could do, even though I wanted to JONG the fuck out of them. I couldn't be mean enough. I am lame.

**DJMingus** · 02-11-2009, 04:52 PM

saw a dude last weekend with two very large rear view mirrors attached to his hard shell helmet...

**MMP** · 02-11-2009, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by johngenx

I don't have a lot of experience at resorts, but find them interesting for the people that I see there. My observation is that the majority of the skiers are not "mountain loving" people, in that they aren't really there for the aesthetic beauty of the mountains. They're there for some skiing, some eating, some whatever. They dump Red Bull cans (though most could go without the calories in Red Bull) on the snow, leave wrappers and ciggy packages all over, and are generally slobs. I guess the sheer volume of people means that you're just going to get that percentage that are fuckwads.

I have seen some of the stuff contained in the last 36 pages, including many questions about my skis (though G3 Spitfires with Freerides are FAR from radical skis, sheesh) and bindings. But, most people are just curious and certainly are not being rude or obnoxious about it. So, I am polite back and explain why they're different.

I see folks in one-piece neon suits from the 1980's, but I hate tossing gear that works, so if I had one, I might use it too. I use my belay parka on descents 'cause I can't afford it and a fancy ski jacket too, so I'm probably guilty of some ski-hill-fashion faux-pas as well.

If you bash into me in the lift line, you might get some shit from me. If you're just a new skier and having trouble, hey, we were all new at some point. But, if you're just being an asshole not paying attention and ram your tips repeatedly into the backs of my boots, I'll tell you to fuck off.

I don't like people that try to ski something way out of their league and I don't like fools that go through the slow zones at Warp 10. As to the first point, though, sometimes people get in over their heads without knowing it. I came across a kid, about 10, standing off to the side at the top of a very steep drop-off. The section below was much mellower, but he was paralyzed with fear at the initial 30M or so. I stopped and talked to him for a minute and realized he'd taken a wrong turn. I showed him where to go, and by backing up a little (off to the side!) and making some adjustments, he was able to get down to where he needed to be. Is it too hard to help someone out once in a while?

Some of my climbing and skiing friends are professional guides and considered among the best on the planet for their skills. They are the most humble people I know and though they see the dumbest shit imaginable in the mountains, they will intercede and provide corrective advice and assistance, but never act like assholes about it. These folks never lord their superior skill over anyone. I think it a good example.

Now, that said, I do work once a week (As a school teacher, I don't make enough dough to support my skiing/climbing habit, so I need the Pro-Deals) in an outdoor store and we sell climbing and BC ski gear, and some people do come in with a real chip on their shoulder about their experience/skill level and so on, and they play a game of "you're the lowly employee here and I am a ski/climbing God!" Unless they make it obvious that they're going to go out and hurt themselves or someone else, I just let them puff out their chest and get their rocks off. However, yes, like this thread, we will mock them afterwords.

nice blog

**I've seen black diamonds!** · 02-11-2009, 05:23 PM

I saw a woman saturday who had lost both her boots. The boots were still attached to the bindings. She was sitting on her ass in her stocking feet. Ski patrol was helping her rectify the situation.

**intheWRONGsummitcounty** · 02-11-2009, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by carvedog

Was there something inviting commentary in the first post?

Not trying to be mean here, but I read both of those posts expecting something humorous, upbeat, retarded and I all got was a headache.

Go start your own Facking thread if you want to talk about gapers and their humanity.

So the new one I got the other day ( or not so new ) brushing about six inches off the car - " Do you think it will be any good up there today?"

Possible responses -
" No you should wait until this small blessing goes through 20 or so freeze/thaw cycles before you go near it you fucking wanktard." ummm, scratch that.

"Yeah unless it gets a little foggy up top and you seize up like a 250 Bultaco on the ridge and I run over your got-to-be-asking-if-fresh-snow-is-good ass?" ok take a breath.

"Yeah I think it will be ok." Heh, heh. That's the best I could do, even though I wanted to JONG the fuck out of them. I couldn't be mean enough. I am lame.

You sound bitter, chief. Seriously, maybe the person was just trying to be social. If you honestly thought everything you say you did, you may have some sociopathic issues or at the very least a serious personality disorder.

But anyway I'm going to listen to your sage advice and start a "Facking" thread, once I figure out what the fuck-oh no wait-FACK that is.

**Lonnie** · 02-11-2009, 06:17 PM

A student of mine "lost" his skis on Sun. Well really, some jack off decided they would ski on them for a few runs in the afternoon. The shop hooked him up with a loaner pair of legend pros for the PM, gratis. We we rode back by watsons 1 last time and lo and behold there they were. My student takes them off the rack and a guy standing there says, "Hey, I think those are mine."

My student says, "Did you buy them at <insert shop name>?", showing him the sticker from said shop.
"Ah, no."
"Then they aren't yours are they?"
"Oh yeah, mine are over there...."

WTF?

**mtsprings** · 02-11-2009, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by I've seen black diamonds!

I saw a woman saturday who had lost both her boots. The boots were still attached to the bindings. She was sitting on her ass in her stocking feet. Ski patrol was helping her rectify the situation.

That is great. I am picturing a early thirties, not as thin or attractive as she use to be, youth group leader from Georgia.

**carvedog** · 02-11-2009, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by intheWRONGsummitcounty

You sound bitter, chief. Seriously, maybe the person was just trying to be social. If you honestly thought everything you say you did, you may have some sociopathic issues or at the very least a serious personality disorder.

But anyway I'm going to listen to your sage advice and start a "Facking" thread, once I figure out what the fuck-oh no wait-FACK that is.

If someone needs me to tell them to go skiing when there is six fresh in a fairly dry year they are wasting space here on the earth and deserve to have their facking throats cut for being such a useless piece of shit. They are so clueless they probably need someone to tell them when to eat, when to shit and whether they have wiped their ass or not.
Fuck man, I thought I was being mercifully patient and controlled. Yes I thought that. This is the gaper thread. Gapers are often by definition designed to test our patience. I passed. The guy is still alive.