Crazy Steamboat Snowboarder Manifesto

**leroy jenkins** · 01-28-2008, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by jibij

WTF are "generic" peeps.

Like these, but not brand name.

RespectOthers,

I hear everything you're saying, and it all sounds like you are in the right here, but broadcasting stashes is not the way to go. That is hurting everyone because of the actions of a few.

I usually don't advocate this, but I think the best solution would just be to bust some heads. Someone talks shit to you for no reason, clock em in the face. That at least wouldn't make the actions of a few assholes the whole community's problem.

**iceman** · 01-28-2008, 11:16 PM

Originally Posted by leroy jenkins

RespectOthers,
I usually don't advocate this, but I think the best solution would just be to bust some heads. Someone talks shit to you for no reason, clock em in the face. That at least wouldn't make the actions of a few assholes the whole community's problem.

Plus, you might wind up in jail, problem solved!

Leroy, I've never met a smarter idiot than you.

**born2snowboard99** · 01-29-2008, 12:01 AM

That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen, I too have been feeling increasing resentment as a snowboarder and agree with him and also agree that runining the stashes is not the way to go. Whoever created that Manifesto is very creative and i think deserves some credit for being so creative!

**Tele'ndaboat** · 01-29-2008, 09:04 AM

Respectothers,
Partners in Routt County is in need of male senior partners. There are many kids that need your time. If you have all this time maybe something like this would be a good constructive way to spend your time... If you already do this maybe Lift Up could use your help. You could make sure the next generation has the respect of which you speak. Just a thought.

**I. Torres-Balzhoff** · 01-29-2008, 01:07 PM

OK. Although expereinced with other backountry activities, I am a skiing JONG. When it comes to BC skiing etiquette there is a gaping hole in my knowledge. Are the rules of backountry skiing etiquette written somewhere, or are they handed down from generation to generation? I've learned a little from some randonee skiers I know, but they don't seem to show much deference to telemarkers. Maybe they do not know the true rules. I've been lurking on this forum to learn. So far I have learned that people should not walk where telemarkers like to go, even if the land is public. I've learned that the best response to harrasment may be to beat the crap out of the offending party. There must be more...please help. I'd like to learn all the rules, and an explanation of why the rule exists would be even better.

For example: yesterday I took a nice long ride, skinning up the ridge behind my house and coming back down. Early on I came to a place where a snowmobile had been on the trail. I skied in the snowmo track. Later I found where a cross country skier had herring-boned up some hills and cut things up. At various other times I saw places where a snowshoer had been, and even a person in plain boots. I came across the trail of a moose who had broken trail up to where I wanted to go. He was post holing but I skied in his tracks. I brought my dog and she post holed too. She laid a steamer in the trail, but I kicked it off the trail and buried it. How many violations were committed by the various parties?

**Thrill Hammer** · 01-29-2008, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by I. Torres-Balzhoff

OK. Although expereinced with other backountry activities, I am a skiing JONG. When it comes to BC skiing etiquette there is a gaping hole in my knowledge. Are the rules of backountry skiing etiquette written somewhere, or are they handed down from generation to generation? I've learned a little from some randonee skiers I know, but they don't seem to show much deference to telemarkers. Maybe they do not know the true rules. I've been lurking on this forum to learn. So far I have learned that people should not walk where telemarkers like to go, even if the land is public. I've learned that the best response to harrasment may be to beat the crap out of the offending party. There must be more...please help. I'd like to learn all the rules, and an explanation of why the rule exists would be even better.

For example: yesterday I took a nice long ride, skinning up the ridge behind my house and coming back down. Early on I came to a place where a snowmobile had been on the trail. I skied in the snowmo track. Later I found where a cross country skier had herring-boned up some hills and cut things up. At various other times I saw places where a snowshoer had been, and even a person in plain boots. I came across the trail of a moose who had broken trail up to where I wanted to go. He was post holing but I skied in his tracks. I brought my dog and she post holed too. She laid a steamer in the trail, but I kicked it off the trail and buried it. How many violations were committed by the various parties?

wow dude, you are a candidate for some serious face punching. Also the moose is begging to be face punched for his impolite actions. I personally almost never ski BC anymore because of all the face punching. It takes up all my time back there. I can barley skin up the mountain in a reasonable amount of time because of all the punches to various faces that I have to hand out. Just the other day a mountain lion wouldn't let me pass him on the way up, guess what? face punch. Then when I got to the top there was some congregation of crunchy tele-nazis having a rally and eating soybeans. By the time I got done handing out face-punches it was getting dark, day = ruined.

CS please out your stashes! I'm gonna be at the Boat this weekend and I'm itching to begin the face punching!!

**rideit** · 01-29-2008, 02:28 PM

God I wish that skiing article about this place hadn't of been printed.

**CommanderBaker** · 01-29-2008, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Thrill Hammer

wow dude, you are a candidate for some serious face punching. Also the moose is begging to be face punched for his impolite actions. I personally almost never ski BC anymore because of all the face punching. It takes up all my time back there. I can barley skin up the mountain in a reasonable amount of time because of all the punches to various faces that I have to hand out. Just the other day a mountain lion wouldn't let me pass him on the way up, guess what? face punch. Then when I got to the top there was some congregation of crunchy tele-nazis having a rally and eating soybeans. By the time I got done handing out face-punches it was getting dark, day = ruined.

CS please out your stashes! I'm gonna be at the Boat this weekend and I'm itching to begin the face punching!!

Face punching is fun, receiving and giving

**This End Up** · 01-29-2008, 03:18 PM

There was another article, in a non skiing magazine, about how many people have left corporate America and moved to the mountains, to live "the life" and telecommute to work. The example they gave was steamboat. I wonder if this guy’s "16 years" at steamboat is actually 14 years of vacations from Houston and 2 seasons of living in Steamboat.

Or maybe O'bernhard-franz has escaped the nut house in Austria and settled in Steamboat.

**jetski** · 01-29-2008, 03:57 PM

Crazy read...

All I have to add is I am super glad I live where I live. It may not snow a shit tonne but we share our wide open spaces quite well, most likely cause there just isn't that many users.
Commence the face punching...

**Tele'ndaboat** · 01-29-2008, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by jetski

Crazy read...

All I have to add is I am super glad I live where I live. It may not snow a shit tonne but we share our wide open spaces quite well, most likely cause there just isn't that many users.
Commence the face punching...

I'm sure you have some exceptions also... I can tell you I have never ran into this issue around here, even when I'm hitting the actual Stashes that have nothing to do with the mountain. (plus I've been with snowboarders

) This is a pretty good place to live. This guy just has his panties in a bunch and forgot his meds...

**BURT BRONSON** · 01-29-2008, 04:34 PM

MEN,

I JUST RETURNED FROM SEA KAYAKING THE NORWEGIAN COAST IN A HOLLOWED OUT NARWHAL TO FIND THIS SAD TRAIN WRECK OF POSTHOLING AND FACEPUNCHING. TWO RULES I HAVE:

1. A MANIFESTO MUST BE WRITTEN BY A MAN. THIS IS WHY IT IS CALLED A MAN-IFESTO. OTHERWISE IT SHOULD BE CALLED A "RECIPE."

2. TELEMARKERS AND SNOWBOARDERS ARE A-OK BECAUSE THEY LEAVE THE MAN FUN TO THE MEN!

THE LAST EXTREME SKIER,

BURT BRONSON

**telecincy44** · 01-29-2008, 04:54 PM

^^^GOLD!

**yetidave** · 01-29-2008, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by BURT BRONSON

MEN,

I JUST RETURNED FROM SEA KAYAKING THE NORWEGIAN COAST IN A HOLLOWED OUT NARWHAL TO FIND THIS SAD TRAIN WRECK OF POSTHOLING AND FACEPUNCHING. TWO RULES I HAVE:

1. A MANIFESTO MUST BE WRITTEN BY A MAN. THIS IS WHY IT IS CALLED A MAN-IFESTO. OTHERWISE IT SHOULD BE CALLED A "RECIPE."

2. TELEMARKERS AND SNOWBOARDERS ARE A-OK BECAUSE THEY LEAVE THE MAN FUN TO THE MEN!

THE LAST EXTREME SKIER,

BURT BRONSON

**Fear Of A Flat Planet** · 01-29-2008, 06:24 PM

SL · 01-29-2008, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by CommanderBaker

Face punching is fun, receiving and giving

The offer still stands, Commander. Time to step up.

**ill-advised strategy** · 01-29-2008, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by TeleHoar

Your Manifesto mentions "respect" three times. Obviously this is what your manifesto is really about.

Aparently you don't feel you get the respect you deserve so you publish and post your butt-hurt manifesto.

Respect is earned, not demanded.

that's what he's doing, he's using the power of his knowledge to get people to be civil with one another. I'd like to imagine that once the ice is broken everyone will get along and this will be something they can laugh about later.

Originally Posted by rideit

On to more important things...

Just what the fuck did Chewbacca have in his bandolier, anyhoo?

AA batteries

**MarkoInTheBoat** · 01-30-2008, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by This End Up

Or maybe O'bernhard-franz has escaped the nut house in Austria and settled in Steamboat.

Nope, he already tried that but didn't last too long away from his sweet, sweet lambs.

**neck beard** · 01-30-2008, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by respect others

10 things you might not know about the '' Crazy Snowboarder"
3. this crazy snowboarder has hiked back up a mountainside toretrieve a panicked local homeowners skis he had left behind.

6. when encountering others w/o means of efficient backcountry travel this "crazy snowboarder has given up one of his own snowshoes to aid them in their egress.

=>3. why did the local homeowner ascend a mountain just to leave his skis there? Did he carry his skins back down in his back pack? What about his poles?

=>6. That leaves two people with one snowshoe each. Did they fucking hop up the trail or what?

Next time I see someone bootpacking a track I'll offer them my splitboard. And they can piggyback me. That works.

**neck beard** · 01-30-2008, 07:14 AM

oh yeah, he carried nude pics of Yoda and some lube.

**MarkoInTheBoat** · 01-30-2008, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by Hohes

=>3. why did the local homeowner ascend a mountain just to leave his skis there? Did he carry his skins back down in his back pack? What about his poles?

Because there are a bunch of fucking morons (both skiers and snowboarders) that follow tracks out of bounds. They get cliffed out, or just scared when they start to think they are completely lost. Then they get panicked, and start doing stupid shit like ditching their skis.

Originally Posted by Hohes

=>6. That leaves two people with one snowshoe each. Did they fucking hop up the trail or what?

Who fucking cares? dude was trying to help somebody out.

**neck beard** · 01-30-2008, 07:27 AM

I'm all for helping, but personally I'd find one snowshoe much more of a hassle than none.

**MarkoInTheBoat** · 01-30-2008, 07:29 AM

Originally Posted by Steamboat Pilot, March 8th, '05? '06?

Lost skier spends

the night outside

An Illinois man was found tired but unharmed after spending a night in a drainage outside the ski area.

Routt County Search and Rescue spent Sunday night and part of Monday morning searching for the 46-year-old, whose named was not released.

The man spent the night in the Beaver Creek drainage southeast of Rendezvous Saddle. He became stuck there after ducking a rope at the Steamboat Ski Area on Sunday afternoon, Search and Rescue Incident Commander Scott Havener said.

About 10 a.m. Monday, rescue crews spotted the man from a helicopter. It took another two to three hours to get him out.

The man told rescuers he had been on a cat track in the Hot Cakes area and saw tracks leading underneath an out-of-bounds rope. He thought the tracks would lead to a shortcut cut to the bottom of the hill, Havener said.

The man followed the tracks and then took off his skis in a heavily treed area, fearing he could not ski around the trees. Without any snowshoes, the man was post-holing through the snow. Making little progress, he decided to hunker down for the night. He had warm clothes but no matches or food.

Search and Rescue was notified about 8 p.m., and a night search was launched at 10 p.m. That effort was called off at 3 a.m. Monday and resumed at 8 a.m.

A skier who had gone out of bounds and into the drainage area then contacted Search and Rescue, saying he thought he had found the lost skier. At about the same time, the man was spotted from the helicopter. Crews could see him post-holing through the snow, walking a few steps and then sitting down to rest.

The man was returned to his family by about 2:30 p.m.

The area where he was lost is a common spot for searches, Havener said. During Monday's search, they saw many tracks and spotted four skiers in the area.

I cant remember if this was from 2005 or 2006.

**MarkoInTheBoat** · 01-30-2008, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by Hohes

I'm all for helping, but personally I'd find one snowshoe much more of a hassle than none.

I would agree that one snowshoe would suck, but I guess in that situation one was better than none.

Or maybe the equalizer tied a few pine branches to the bottom of his boot to act as a second snowshoe.