The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational '80s Songs

[fridge]

http://www.cracked.com/article_15636...80s-songs.html

Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. It is highly probable you have contracted something doctors are referring to as "super-chlamydia."

[Tippster]

That
Was
Awesome.

[MuleSkinner]

Seconded. Feel compelled to download everyone of those songs right now.

[El Chupacabra]

Terrifying.

[squirrelmurphy]

Under the surface, the majority of the songs on this list are entirely about cock and the various ways it is great to have one; the fun of swinging it about, waggling it in the face of opposition; or simply writing songs about it while playing phallic guitars.

[The Reverend Floater]

Seriously, though? I love all of those songs. I fuckin' love 'em. Except for Queen, which is about the cock for a reason.

[yooper]

Seconded. Feel compelled to download everyone of those songs right now.

What? Who wouldn't have all those songs already?

[The Reverend Floater]

http://www.cracked.com/article_15636...80s-songs.html

Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. It is highly probable you have contracted something doctors are referring to as "super-chlamydia."

If this is true, someone call the CDC 'cause I'm a disaster zone.

[pappag]

If I never have to hear another Bon Jovi for the rest of my life, I would donate all my money to charity.


"Living on a Prayer" (not listed) = sorostitute anthem from 2001-2003.

[MuleSkinner]

What? Who wouldn't have all those songs already?

Definitely do have a lot of them but my ipod is missing a few. I don't think i have rocked out to Eye of the Tiger since college lacrosse warm-ups. I made my team include it every year - they definitely didn't appreciate it as much as I did.

[Tippster]

The lack of anything Van Halen on that list makes it suspect, IMHO. Buddy of mine used to walk out on the mat to "Cradle Will Rock." We cheered. He won.

[The Reverend Floater]

If I never have to hear another Bon Jovi for the rest of my life, I would donate all my money to charity.


"Living on a Prayer" (not listed) = sorostitute anthem from 2001-2003.

If we ever meet, I'm going to punch you in the mouth.

[Odin]

My god that was awesome.

#3."Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins


Yes, somehow Kenny Loggins, the man who co-sang "Danny’s Song" plea-bargained a temporary pair of testicles and stepped up to be a man for one brief, shining moment in 1986. He wrote a song tailor-made for shadow boxing in the midst of explosions on a rainy night, while standing on a mountain top and screaming to the heavens.

"Danger Zone" is comprised of entirely guitar riffs and vague references to machines and speed. He did not settle for a lesser concept. He put you on a highway: the fastest, straightest route possible directly to an entire zone that is nothing but danger. There was no "Parkway to the Naughty Territories," or "Off Ramp to Risky Town," or even "Scenic Route Through Fistfight County."

(and van halen wasn't included because they suck beyond all measures of good sucking.)

[fridge]

Seriously, though? I love all of those songs. I fuckin' love 'em.

This is why I heart the Rev.

Pretty much every Friday at 3:25 my coworker fires up "the final countdown" to kickstart our weekend. We also pump Jukebox hero, mainly because it drives the other guy beside us insane.

[Odin]

And if anyone ever wanted a reason why the rev loves journey genuinely.....

There are two kinds of people in this world: People who love Journey ironically and people who love Journey genuinely. People who love Journey ironically are mostly leather-clad hipsters in second-hand vintage T-shirts, smoking cloves and hanging with strung-out androgynous she-boys outside used record stores. As for people who love Journey genuinely, they do so because of this song. Say what you will about Steve Perry (For example: He looks like Paris Hilton with Down Syndrome) but the man could sing.

[Stu Gotz]

How about "For those about to rock..."

Maybe they didn't include it, because there is NO way to improve the song. Any song with firing cannons is elevated above all others.

Additionally, I have a children's album by Kenny Loggins that my 4 month-olds love. Pretty ponies, unicorns...its all in there.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

The lack of anything Van Halen on that list makes it suspect, IMHO.

Yeah, I was kind of expecting "Jump" to be on there, but that list is awesome nonetheless.

[PNWbrit]

Kenny Loggins temporary testicles.

[MuleSkinner]

I love this thread - I so know what I am listening to on my drive over to Idaho tonight.

You're the Best gets me fired up. I totally want to be Ralph Macchio minus the guy part.

[Grange]

Damn that made me laugh. Some good song on there.

[Odin]

I totally want to be Ralph Macchio minus the guy part.

Uh.

.......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(I'm just going to make the assumption that muleskinner is a female of the species.)

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

I totally want to be Ralph Macchio minus the guy part.

I always assumed there wasn't much of a "guy-part" to Ralph Macchio, so you may be closer than you think.

[bagtagley]

"Eye of the Tiger" will accept no less than lacing up boxing gloves, buckling on a sword, or rolling on a condom from you. We wouldn’t recommend listening to it if you’re not prepared to use any of those things, as odds dictate that by the chorus you’ll be knee deep in either blood or poontang.

[pappag]

If we ever meet, I'm going to punch you in the mouth.

Work at one of Jersey's most busy bars for 3 years, then go punch yourself in the mouth.

[The Reverend Floater]

Work at one of Jersey's most busy bars for 3 years, then go punch yourself in the mouth.

You should punch yourself in the mouth for

a) Blasphemy
b) Working in Jersey

I bet you hate denim and rad cars, too.