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Thread: Heli Drug Test

  1. #1
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    Heli Drug Test

    MOHSHSIHd's sister is freaking out. She was just offered her dream job and they want to do a heli drug test. She has only participated in like 3 safety meetings in the last 6 months....


    is she fucked?
    __________________
    From wikipedia

    heli drug screen
    "Heli follicle testing is quite accurate and can go back 6 months or longer, showing any controlled substances used in a sort of timeline. As heli grows out, any drugs used are encased in the heli shaft, so the longer the heli, the longer back in the individual's drug history the lab can detect. Most legitimate testing facilities, however, only use heli within about 3-5 cm of the scalp, and discard the rest. This limits the detection history to about 90 days, depending upon the rate of growth of the individual's heli. Some people attempt to circumvent this through shaving their heads. In the absence of the required amount of heli on the scalp, body heli can be used as an acceptable substitute. Additionally, for pre-employment heli testing, the inability to obtain a sample may be grounds for not hiring the individual."
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
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  2. #2
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    "It is not the result that counts! It is not the result but the spirit! Not what - but how. Not what has been attained - but at what price.
    - A. Solzhenitsyn

  3. #3
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    Is using marijuana where it's legal grounds for not hiring? A simple "I was in Amsterdam" could work, right?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Blue View Post
    Is using marijuana where it's legal grounds for not hiring? A simple "I was in Amsterdam" could work, right?
    It's grounds for being labelled a terrorist since your drug purchases obviously support terrorists.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
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  5. #5
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    Time to pull a Britney Spears, perhaps?

  6. #6
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    Well, I know somebody who passed said test (urine) after attending a large safety meeting 5 days before said test. I can personally attest to that.
    "Steve McQueen's got nothing on me" - Clutch

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    Most legitimate testing facilities, however, only use heli within about 3-5 cm of the scalp, and discard the rest.
    So have her cut her hair to 5 cm. Duh.

    Or shave it and wear a wig. Double duh.

  8. #8
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    Let's all chip in to buy her a wig made with the hair of clean-livin' Mormon women.

    edit: Let's get her one for her head, too.
    Last edited by Steven S. Dallas; 02-20-2007 at 05:20 PM.

  9. #9
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    Shave teh hair. All of em.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    MOHSHSIHd's sister is freaking out. She was just offered her dream job and they want to do a heli drug test. She has only participated in like 3 safety meetings in the last 6 months....

    I swear there is an echo in this place.

  11. #11
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    MOHSHSIHd deleted the thread before we could learn how to pass the fucking test after he got a bunch of advice from us.

  12. #12
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    there wasn't much in that thread that hadn't been suggested elsewhere.


    -tell the truth
    -shave all your hair
    -try to use someone else's hair

    +
    - links to wikipedia
    -rants against drug testing
    -rants for drug testing

    there was way too much identifying information for leaving it up to be wise
    Last edited by komo; 02-20-2007 at 05:30 PM.

  13. #13
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    Don't do drugs in a heli - you'll freak out. Wait 'til ya land.

  14. #14
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    Fake pee.

    And, if it's been over a month since she puffed I wouldn't worry about it.
    Buy nice things here.
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  15. #15
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    Does a focsicle get ridden on a boat?
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

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    Is Repugnancy hiring? Do they drug test?
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rontele View Post
    Is Repugnancy hiring? Do they drug test?
    I try to do all the drug testing for them.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    I try to do all the drug testing for them.
    Tell Tim Leary, David says hi.
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  19. #19
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    What kind of drug test? Urine, Hair sample??

    If its a hair sample, shave the head. Maybe Britney Spears applied for the same job.
    Last edited by DSWHAT?; 02-20-2007 at 07:46 PM.

  20. #20
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    Fug it, be honest if it shows up or they ask questions?
    `•.¸¸.•´><((((º>`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.¸.? ??´¯`•...¸><((((º>

    "Having been Baptized by uller his frosty air now burns my soul with confirmation. I am once again pure." - frozenwater

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  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    It's grounds for being labelled a terrorist since your drug purchases obviously support terrorists.
    weed in amsterdam is grown.....in amsterdam! (or nearby) unless you buy hash on the street someplace, you are supporting the dutch local economy.

    i had previously suggested taking the red-eye to amsterdam and back (whether you partake is your choice) as an alibi. but the issue seems to be "use" full stop rather than "legal use".

    my advice:
    don't admit to anything!
    study for the test - use that "swimmer's shampoo" (i forget the brandname) that strips the hair
    take the test. if you fail, challenge it and demand another test.
    if you fail again, challenge it and demand another test.
    repeat until they either give you the job or refuse any further tests.

  22. #22
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    drug testing is pretty gay.

    and the business is private, so they can neglect you from being hired if it's in your system no matter where you burned. its their call though.

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