What authority do you have to do that? Do they have a play everyone rule? Did he agree to a code of conduct?Quote:
Originally Posted by skiballs
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What authority do you have to do that? Do they have a play everyone rule? Did he agree to a code of conduct?Quote:
Originally Posted by skiballs
^^^ I've been on both sides of this issue. If this is a rec-level team, my bet is that the coach feels (consciously or subconsciously) that he has a duty to the parents to deliver a successful product on the field.
As a coach, some of the most constructive advice I got was from a parent who told me that (i) I cared more about the team's success (which is different than winning) than most of the kids and all of the parents, (ii) all of the parents appreciated my coaching and were delighted that their kids were on my team, and (iii) none of the parents ever thought that any of the team's losses/failures were the result of poor coaching.
This discussion helped me get a better perspective on the parents' expectations and allowed me to adopt the policy that every kid who showed up for the game played at least 50%.
The Irish and English guys I've coached with and against are fucking nuts. Some have a similar meathead mentality of our football coaches. Obviously they are all individuals and you need to figure out the best approach. Sounds pretty good that he sent an email out though, so I wouldn't think a threat is in order, but more a reassurance about developing the kids, not sitting them on the bench.
This u10 rec level. Yes there is a code of conduct and coaches are told specifically not to questions the refs calls.Quote:
Originally Posted by 4matic
Yes there are play everyone rules. I have no official authority, however I do business, play golf and drink with the league commissioner.
I worked with an old football coach that had been out of the game for a number of years after 30 years of coaching varsity. He was a great coach but he didn't play everyone or even practice the whole team (old school) and I took the heat for it. AD's office, meeting with The Dean, etc. I explained to him how times have changed and he went along with it. I took the heat from him when a substitution was misplaced at the wrong time. Comes with territory; it's a man's game. But we met often and he learned quickly that the world had changed so he changed and he even said it was better because it was more fun for everyone.
You should invite the guy to go out with you and the comish and talk about coaching.
U10 rec. :eek: The dude is certifiable.Quote:
Originally Posted by skiballs
Is that mathematically possible? Or do you coach in Lake Wobegon? (But seriously, good post).Quote:
Originally Posted by Smoova
This is the right call. I did offer to help the guy coach and was told "I'll let you know if I need help".Quote:
Originally Posted by 4matic
Ha! Good catch. Lacrosse team with 18 kids. 10 on the field at a time. "At least" = 50% or more.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
When I was coaching I was running a drill that was dangerous. Kids loved it but it was dangerous and I kinda knew it. One of the old varsity coaches said lets go for a run. He didn't bring up the specific drill but made suggestions that he thought would make me a better coach. Smart guy.Quote:
Originally Posted by skiballs
Hockey season starts tomorrow for the team I coach. I'm actually excited
I used to have 35 kids from age 5-8 and mixed abilities that I had to wrangle. Now I'm on to a travel team with only 10 kids had to tryout for...all the best 8 yr olds. We have 2 different travel teams with 10 each that will practice together, but that's still going to be a breeze compared to coaching a bigger group that has kids that can barely skate mixed with kids that are good.
I can finally start to actually teach the game instead of just concentrating on skills 100% of the time. And I don't have to constantly manipulate the drills based on the different abilities I used to have
My third year coaching soccer - currently u8 rec. It's fricken hard!! I've got some kids who are pretty darn good, some who try hard and some who I'd be surprised if they could even pick their own noses.
I'm a wee bit self conscious of what the parents on the sideline think of what I do and how I coach but most seem very appreciative of what is a pretty substantial volunteer commitment.
I have a equal play time philosophy - its just the right thing to do at junior rec level - and I work very hard to make sure all are included in the flow of game as much as possible.
Overriding goal is to ensure everyone has fun and learns some skills.
AbsolutelyQuote:
Originally Posted by dcpnz
I have a buddy that coaches the next age group up from me...9 and 10 yr olds.
Last year the guy he coaches with was benching the weaker kids and my buddy pulled him to the side and told him he'd be picking his teeth up off the ground if he pulled that bullshit again...I love it...fuck that guy
My son's lax coaches are all douchebag losers that bench 7/8 yr old kids if they're not good enough. I hope they all die in a fire honestly
There certainly is a time where the weaker kids need to sit some...8 yrs old ain't it. Just thinking about it makes me want to drag them out of their houses one night and send them to the bottom of the lake
Almost every team that I have coached has been blessed with a bunch of good athletes and wound up winning more games than it lost. On teams like that it's always easy to enforce equal playing time. I'm always impressed when I run into a team full of lousy athletes that loses every game, but the coach still finds a way to make it fun for the kids. Those coaches are the good ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by dcpnz
QFMFT - even worse when they trot out the "well, Johnny-the-6-year-old got a little more playing time when we were trucking a team 23-2, so it's OK that he rides the pine for every playoff game."Quote:
Originally Posted by booner
Pathetic.
yep. we played a couple tourneys and the weaker kids literally played about 2 minutes the entire game. They'd put them in...kid would lose the ball...pull the kid right back out.Quote:
Originally Posted by Smoova
These kind of people need to go away...like, forever
I play every kid the exact same amount of time no matter what. I don't care if the kid's legs don't even work...he's getting his time in the game
^
I can't say I go quite that far with totally equal time but I'm coaching middle schoolers so they know that everyone will play plenty. 8th graders always start and those girls that show up regularly and practice hard earn more playing time. Those who want to use practices as social time will get plenty of time to yap on the bench during games. My experience, they learn very quickly that practice is for more than just recess play if their field time is reduced.
between parents and coaches it's amazing that kids play sports at all.
That's fair. If and when I coach that age I'll be pretty tough on them like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by FussyDutchman
I've been coaching hockey for 4 years...always my son's team since he was 4. I'll have the 100% equality policy for another few years and then it's reality check for the kids. It's select travel, so it has to be that way at some point.
My son is a good hockey player, but he's one of those kids that are on the bottom of the talent pool at lax. The lax coach thing burns me on both sides...he's my son AND that's the complete opposite way I coach, and think kid's that young should be treated. I really have a hard time standing on the sideline and not just tearing into the coach for being a total piece of shit. The HS team is amazing and all the coaches think it's HS already with these little kids.
My son played last year at a different school district...much smaller program The coach was awesome and treated the kids great...played em all the same amount of time and ENCOURAGED them...imagine that!!! My son had a better time AND he played better cause he didn't have any pressure...and played in games. He knew exactly what was going on this year and by the half-way point in the season wanted to quit and just stopped trying. Fucking assholes...he was 7...already pushed out of the sport essentially
Booner that sucks. It's amazing how much and how quickly young kids can get better when you give them the opportunity to learn, practice and play. Not to mention that they all develop physically at different rates too. Hate to see a "coach" push a kid away from any sport like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by booner
Fussydutchman - I think middle school is a different deal and sounds like you have found a good way to manage it. I don't know where the transition away from equal play time is, but I know my thoughts on it are very different for 6&7 year olds in a rec league than it is for 13&14 year olds on competitive travel teams.
We're in fall ball now, and picked up 3 great players. Two of which take turns in the outfield because the coaches kids are hogging the infield.
I'm not a baseball player, but it seems to me at this age this fathers/coaches are just geared towards getting their kids enough time at a position to learn it, and then hang on to it for as long as possible. Sad because without those errors we win every game.
I just sent me yearly reality check to the head coach in email, I'd end up yelling if I did it in person. I reminded him we did not win a game in the spring that my kid did not pitch, and his response was that in 4 innings of fall ball my sons numbers were slipping. I then responded by adding them to spring ball numbers and my sons ks % was still almost 50%!
Little league has driven me to drink again.
semantics regarding playing time are important when speaking with parents. They want EQUAL time, and they have a stopwatch for their kid only. We had a saying "all players in good standing receive meaningful playing time" good standing? attendance, attitude, effort... Miss practice, mouth off, disrespect a teammate, opponent, official....not good standing.
"Meaningful" meant a regular shift, throughout the game (lacrosse and football were the sports I coached). Equal is not possible given man-up, down situations, but to go from your second line to your man-up group, then back to your 1st line without fielding the 3rd line of middies? Parents of those kids pick up on that shit quickly.
doesn't count if it's not organized and capable of creating entries for junior's C.V. in the futureQuote:
Originally Posted by spook
^ It's cute when one paste eater tries to bond with another paste eater.
there are idiot parents and idiot coaches at all levels
For me it's about having fun. I don't really care about what age the kid is at. I am not interested in my kids excelling at sports. I don't have a lot in common with parents that think it is important.
The following happened recently with an assistant coach for my eight year old's soccer team. We arrived 20 minutes late for an after school game and missed the team meeting. The assistant coach remarked that she needed to talk to me and my son after the game.
I said how about now?
She replied that my son needed to make the team meetings.
I replied it's hard to get away from my desk early.
Her response, was that she could do it and I was expected to have him there for the meeting.
I pulled my kid off the bench, took him home, and now he is on another team.
I was seriously pissed. He is in third grade and wants to hang with his buds and have fun. It's not about winning, it's not about anything except fun.
Second, I have a flexible, but demanding job, I support 1400 users between the accounting system and health record systems we use. I just can't leave my desk when I want to. And I am certainly not going to make a commitment to being on time for a 3rd - 4th grade soccer match. My kids see me working at all hours of the day and night, they know what the deal is with my job.
Third, the coach needed a word with me and my son? WTF, like he has anything to do with it. Is he supposed to be ashamed of his dead beat not on time dad?
The coordinator is a friend of mine and I strongly suggested that the assistant coach needs to take a fucking chill pill.
^^^ This worked out well for everyone.
"Son, I'd love to keep you on this team because all your friends are on it and I enjoy watching your coach's big bouncy tits but she offended me, you understand?"
she did offend me. and she is a wore out hag - no eye candy to put it mildly. the coach on the other hand...
the last thing I want to hear after a day of bullshit at work, is bullshit about being late for an eight year old's soccer game. it's not important, and I don't want my kid to think it is important and I am not going to make a commitment to being on time or act like I did anything wrong
sarcasm, hmmm what does this concept sarcasm entail?Quote:
Originally Posted by Smoova
I maintain that children learn more from their parents' actions than they do from others. So, what you taught your son is:Quote:
Originally Posted by DBdude
1. Dad is easily offended, and cares about this stuff more than he's letting on
2. The way to deal with conflict and adversity in life is not to work it out, but switch teams (coaches, teachers, bosses, etc.)
3. Big bouncy tits and his friends are less important than your feelings as a parent
all true except the team he is on now is with his best bud
in some things it is my way or the highway in regards to what I do. I have never had too much of an issue with that. I own my shit and I do it my way - it's worked out ok for my career.
and really what is there to work out? I am a single parent and I don't have family to help me and I ask for help from other parents for only really important activities. I am not going to jump through hoops for after school soccer for an eight year old because I don't think it is important in any way. Him being on another team is a better fit for me, and that is more important.
You're obviously coaching girls :smile: We did the same at that level (travel, not school) and ended up winning our leagues states in which every player played in the final. I'm not going to lie as it was kind of hard to get everyone in that game, but we made a point to do it. Reflecting back it would have sucked to win and not have every member a part of it and it would have been fine to lose if every member was a part of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by FussyDutchman
Give it time and he may be back as my oldest had a bad experience at try-outs for LAX when he was young...maybe 10-11, I forget exactly. Anyway he bailed and continued with his other sports. Sophomore yr in HS he was tired of the travel soccer scene (truly the traveling...car time) so he decides to give LAX a shot again. Three games into the season he ends up on varsity and plays against the coach he tried out with years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by booner
My youngest has it figured out. He's on the golf team, but really it's the surf team. The HS just doesn't know it. The four surfers on the team don't care about their internal qualifying matches if waves are predicted. If they lose, the don't go to the match and get to surf instead. Life is good. :smile:
DBdude, I certainly understand the single parent time aspect, as someone I know deals with that.
Having coached youth sports in my town, I've had really good experiences *knock on wood*, and we've always worked any issues out, but I've seen parents handle adversity in interesting ways.
In one extreme case, our neighbors moved to another town, because their son was not getting enough playing time on his U12 team and the situation between the parents and coaches in town devolved. The kid was a nice kid and friends with my son, and it was quite traumatic for him to move. But the parents wanted to prove a point I guess. An extreme example of switching teams.
I coached HS golf. Although "coach" is probably not an appropriate term for the position. It was great. Typically good kids that love the game. Our matches were a 9 hole stop on the way to the back nine. I had one very good player who was not my favorite kid. I know that he and his opponents from other schools would subtract shots to lower their average (kids are kids. never did catch them). This kids dad was high octane and after a bad round he was yelling at the kid to play better as he probably had a lot of money invested. I'll never forget that the team just looked at each other like wtf...it's golf. We all headed off to the back nine. I see those kids years later and they still love golf.Quote:
Originally Posted by strawjack
I don't know man. They probably handled it wrong but on time is a basic rule for most team sports.Quote:
Originally Posted by DBdude
ouch
those parents are crazed
i get what you are saying, but I have a silly job in some ways that I really like, that takes priority at certain times. I work from home when I want, but right now, I have to be in the office a lot. It sucks, but that's the way it is. I could do my gig 100% remote, but our company culture does not allow that.
I am actively looking for a remote gig - but it is hard - they are all contracting gigs, and I don't have any savings to tide me over between jobs
I am aware, but it really doesn't work for me. I have two kids, and between the older boys sports, the music lessons, I can't always leave work early. I commute 40 minutes each way and don't like putting the eight year old on the bus in the morning. It comes at 7:15. So I drop him at school at 8:00, I am at my desk at 8:45. I need to put full days in. It is expectedQuote:
Originally Posted by 4matic
edited to add
my ex's job is less flexible than mine - and I end up covering a lot of their activities on my off weeks.
Divorce is a bitch - it was a lot easier before we split
I have the same issue with some of my staff members. :tongue:Quote:
Originally Posted by DBdude
Good luck. Being a good single parent is tough enough.
LOL - yes I remember
so the whole nasty thing comes out - i was criticized about something I am a little sensitive about. I start to think I am getting shit about an eight year old's soccer game, and I got steamed immediately.
It is what it is. I am what I am and I know what I can commit to and what I can't. And to be criticized by someone who I assume doesn't have a job with the responsibilities I have makes me pretty damn angry pretty fucking quickly
I carry my job every where I go. I don't ever get far from my laptop. I can vpn in on my phone. I like my work, but it is always there at the back of my mind and then for total bullshit reason, I have to be at my desk to do tier one support.
I am always rushing home for the boys :) or the dogs :) or rushing to work. It's a drag and it wears you down.