If everyone was as cool as me I wouldn't be nearly as cool...
Printable View
If everyone was as cool as me I wouldn't be nearly as cool...
In the lift line today:
Gaper 1. "There's this resort in Utah that's supposed to be the best place anywhere. There's like this much powder (gestures over his head) and they don't allow snowboarders [strange considering that the guy talking is a boarder]. I can't remember what it's called . . . Lake Tahoe? Is that in Utah?"
Gaper 2. "Yeah. It's on the Utah-Cali boarder." - and I think he meant it.
whats the difference between a landrover and a camry driving on a ski trail?
the land rover get stuck further away from the tow truck.
why do stupid people have so much money? i just don't get it
not a comment, but this happened. A Euro brought in his circa 1970s boots to rent a demo ski today. My bro Steve adjusted the demo binder, and snapped the boot in. Well sort of. The orange boot exploded into thousands of small pieces much the same way a bag of cheetos would if opened to exuberantly. I laughed. The guy was pissed.
Not a gaper on the mountain but,
I am not a whiskey drinker but I had some friends stopping by my house after skiing and I knew that they both liked whiskey and coke.
Montana only allows liquor to be sold in state stores and bars. The stores have bank hours so I stopped by small Montana bar to pick up a bottle on my way home from the mountain.
At this small bar, I had the choice of a bottle of Ten High and a bottle of R&R. I had not bought R&R since college because it was cheap. The Ten High, which I had never really heard of, was even cheaper so I hesitantly chose the R&R.
The long time, loyal, patron of this bar sitting next to me nodded his approval and offered this gem.
“That is what I like, I like mixing R&R with Mt. Dew”
well, in this instance, they're dealer plates.Quote:
Originally Posted by fish
The last time I was in Lubbock, kids at Tech were mixing it with Gatorade.Quote:
Originally Posted by mtsprings
On the chairlift, Mt. Rose, yesterday:
Non-helmet-wearing snowboarder (on regular soft-boot setup snowboard, not hard boot setup): I like to come up here early when the runs are icy, so I can go fast.
Snowboarder buddy of his: How fast?
NHWS: I hit 70mph this morning, easy.
SBOH: Really? Wow, man, that's fast.
NHWS: On Kit Carson, I usually cruise along about 50-60, but then it gets crowded, so I have to slow down.
Kit Carson = giant wide mellow blue run...
yesterday at stowe a friend of mine was going to huck the waterfall. a 25-30 footer to flat. Personally Ill never do it because I like being 5'10'', and not compressed.
My friend was at the top looking for a landing zone, and these gapers were yelling at him to do it.
Gaper1: "Do it, the landing is so soft"
Gaper2: "Yeah, I just hucked it and im fine."
Me: "The landing is flat as shit and all bombed out right now, its not OK.
Gaper1:" just aim between the bomb holes"
Me:" funny, that big one looks kinda like someone fell sideways, and didnt stomp it"
Gaper2 (helmet caked with snow)" ...Do it man, the landings good"
nothing annoys me more than morons egging a total stranger on to huck something that has a flat bombed out landing
Gapers are interestingly attracted to "jumps" with crappy, bombed-out, flat landings... like moths to a porch light. :confused:
Oh yeah, they must also be within view of a chairlift or lodge, you know, for braggin' rights!
"Is the water safe to drink?" - Turon from NYC checking into hotel.
Just remembered this one - I was about 10 years old, skiing in NH with my parents and their friends. My dad and I were on a lift at Cannon Mtn. (I think), and my parent's friend commented on how large the moguls were that the snow-cats had made overnight. My dad called him out immediately - it was solid. We still joke about that one when we ski together.
today in the park, pulled a 360
"woah he did a whirlybird!"
I have a new favorite. Not exactly overhead-gaper, but I took my GF to Maine, yesterday, and it was her 5th day ever on a board:
I'm in line, getting a beer with lunch.
GF: There's no where to sit up here.
Me: Just grab a seat downstairs, I'll be there in a minute.
GF: Where?
Me: Downstairs.
GF: Where?
Me: The seats downstairs.
GF: How do you get there?
Me: You go down the stairs.
Entire bar within earshot starts to laugh. She's walks out.
About 10 mins after lunch she broke her wrist, and not long after that she's the ex-gf. Too bad.
I would be happy about it now being ex.Quote:
Originally Posted by puhisurfer
You have no reason not to post nekkid pics then.Quote:
Originally Posted by puhisurfer
on the chair with a couple from fernie. they were talking about back home how they would duck the ropes at night to get to the runs that didn't have lights.....
because the mountain would groom those right away, and they could hit up the fresh groomers.
who the fuck ducks the ropes for groomers?
Her story - my boyfriend acts like an ass, so I faked an injury, broke up with him, and now on my way to let his best friend fuck me....
in der pooperhuisen
Rental Mental crashes yard sale style right under the lift I'm riding with my 6 year old daughter.
Gaper grabs his nether regions and screams, not in a funny way....AAAhhhhh my DICK. (Not AAAhhhh my balls, but AAAhhhh my Dick. )
6 year old daughter says "Dad, when that happens don't you hurt your Balls?"
No hand jobs = dumped?Quote:
Originally Posted by puhisurfer
:D:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by El Chupacabra
good one!
So last night after a marathon of flights back from my honeymoon, i finally make it back to the states. The TSA "Officer" confiscates the tiny ass snow globe from my wife's pack which was meant for my goddaughter. He says, " would you like to at least keep the box?". fucking retard.
Yesterday a boarder in front of me in the line waiting for the rope to drop attempts to stomp his board and ends up stomping it on my skis. He mutters something and keeps doing it. Seconds later his shitty headphones break into 3 pieces, I said something along the lines of "karma, bitch" and he takes his board off and walks away.
"they are a good ski; they just don't match my current desire to have a more twin-tippy touring ski."
referring to his BD megawatts
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Similar experience: One day in May, 2003, I thought I'd go and ski Quandary Peak via the Christo Couloir. The road to the reservoir alternated between bare and snowdrifts, so I had to hike it both ways maybe 2 miles and about 500' elevation one way. The hike was a bit of a drag, but I had a good time.Quote:
Originally Posted by TeleHoar
About half way up, I saw an old beater truck stuck in a snowdrift (see attached photo). It looked like it had been there quite a while. Bummer. That year was really dry until an epic March blizzard, so I figured that the truck might have gotten stuck then.
...
On the hike down I heard an awful racket. After a few minutes of walking, I came around a bend and saw the truck blasting its way up through the snow. That crazy fucker really wanted to get up that road.
I'm still not sure who the gaper in the story is ... but my jaw dropped when he drove by.
This week, I have a friend out from NY. He's 6'1" 190lbs. I lent him my 195 SuperBROs. After skiing one run (on a groomer), he saidme "Dood, these skis are waay too short and really fat."
last wk on the chair at Alpine... talking w/ a marginally cute snowboarder.
her: i really like Sugar Bowl on a powder day... they have great crevasses.
edit: page top!!
after skiing many laps on red line at magic saturday, from the chair:
"i hope those are your rock skis"
the trail was in great shape - 10 days after the last storm no less - a few rocks here and there, but no serious trouble avoiding 'em at speed if you know how to turn/steer.
if there was a chair over the woods would he say "i hope you have your chainsaw skis?" :nonono2:
as for my bases, one wide and shallow scuff after 10 not-too-cautious laps
The munsons riding the chair behind me talking about his new "souped" up car.
Munson #1 to munson#2: "Man you should see how siiiick my car is now. I've got it all pimped out."
Munson#2: "Nice dude, did you soup up the engine too?"
Munson#1 "Fuckin' A man. Last weekend I was doing 130mph in 3rd gear, but I didn't want to go any faster cuz it would mess up my speedometer.":fmicon:
Sweet Jesus. I almost fucking lost it right there. Good thing I was at the top of the lift and got the hell away from them before they could start offering me Keystone Ice.
Did she have a great crevass?Quote:
Originally Posted by ljm
what lights? there are no lights at fernie...Quote:
Originally Posted by farmer
Guy in a CMH "Million Vertical Feet" Fartbag...... On snowblades........ With poles.......
Guy skiing last weekend in mid 30's temps wearing a full-on neoprene facemask with nose, goggles, no hat. Kinda had to be there.
^that reminds me of people I see walking around campus (I go to Georgia Tech) when it's about 35-40 degrees with huge jackets on, with the hoods up too, like it was 0 degrees. It's also funny to see people wearing hoodies and jackets when its 60 degrees...stupid southerners...oh wait
what is the benefit of buckling your ski boots tight? does it keep the snow out?
I finally got hit with the bar, today. (I never have before).
That felt good.
I shoulda pushed him over when I got off the lift, d-bag.
More people seem to know about Moonlight. It's awesome watching lief-dropping snowboarders flatten out the snow. From power ---> Rocks! If you wanna face the direction you're going, ski.
Saw a boarder take damn near this exact line today.
http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/1473/scrubxt4.png