Job Interviews Gone Wrong (NSR)

[Ubersheist]

Here's the Company's website in case you care. Believe me, I won't be doing business with them and I encourage everyone else I know to do the same.

BWAAHAAHAAA! I'm actually working on a project that they're the leads on (i.e. they hired our company to work on the project). Like DG and Legoskier, I know people that work there, too.

That particular company is far and away the largest firm of it's sort in the Sacto area. I wouldn't discount the whole company based on even just one of thier principles. I wouldn't be surprised if that principle has moved on by now, anyway.

[schuss]

I had been on a bunch of interviews in the 6 months after grad, and was pretty much set on moving to Utah and ski-bumming it for a year for various reasons. Nothing had panned out, and I was getting sick of the process when I got a call for one more interview at a different dept. in a company I had already interviewed for. Get in the car to drive there for a 9AM interview with enough time to have 15-20 to spare. Get on the highway and right after the last bail-out exit, I hit dead stop traffic. I frantically call the company saying I'll be late, but just get voicemail every time. Decide to just say fuck it and roll in whenever.
So I get there an hour late (this office is normally 15 minutes away, and I was in traffic for an hour and a half). Call the people I'm supposed to interview with from the Lobby. Thankfully they came in the same way I did, so I was set on that. We then spend the next hour talking about how I really don't care about the job and that I'd rather be skiing than working for said company. True answers to questions: What's your ideal job? "Skiing for 100K a year". Anything we should know about you? "I'm pretty sure I'm mildly insane" Can you pass a background check? "They don't have anything from South America do they? Yeah, then I'll be fine."

Oh, and I've since gotten 2 promotions at that job in the last year and a half.

I got a job offer 3 days later. My future boss also told me many months later that immediately after the interview she told the hiring manager to hire me ASAP.

[Dr. Crash]

I knew I would never get the job after destroying three bathrooms in three different buildings while interviewing. [...]Got the job and have been working there for 11 years.

11 years to reconstruct three bathrooms... That is a cushy job.

drC

[divegirl]

Oh boy, Here's a doozy for you;
I graduated from CPSLO in '92. Aside from maybe the great depression I don't think there has ever been a worse time to be entering the workforce. A couple of years previous to this employers were climbing all over themselves to get on-campus interview slots, offering big signing bonuses...you name it. In '92...not so much. Everyone I knew either had gotten fed up and headed off to grad school or they were grovelling like me. I had sent +150 resumes and cover letters off to legitimate job leads (not cold calls but responses to ads, leads given to me by a friend of a friend, etc.) On top of that affirmative action was alive and well so, being that I am a white male, I was completely shut out from any job with a public agency. It was so bad that I was saving the few rejection letters I got. After all these companies were professional enough to at least acknowledge my effort. (Side note: I now work for one of those companies and love it!).

So there I was, graduation day long since passed, making a meager living waiting tables and praying I could keep my POS car running just one more day until I could land a decent job. In doing some follow-up phone calls A firm in Sacramento (a 5-hour drive away) said they wanted to interview me. I mentioned that it would take a couple of days to clear my work schedule and find a car that could make the trip (hint, hint - a decent company would at least offer to reimburse mileage), but otherwise I would love to and set a date for the interview.

I rented a car (no kidding, mine wasn't going to make it), dust off the suit and leave SLO at the ungodly hour of 4a to make it to Sacto with time to spare. I got there 20 minutes early and wait patienly in the lobby for my interview. Some 20 minutes AFTER the scheduled appointment the principal of the company (who's name escapes me now but he was the one I set the interview with) finally invites me into the conference room. He asks me a few questions but mostly won't even make eye contact with me. 15 minutes later, without so much as a "thank you" for making the trip...

he announces he's not really hiring and sends me on my way.

BASTARD!

Here's the Company's website in case you care. Believe me, I won't be doing business with them and I encourage everyone else I know to do the same.

Hey boarddad - were you an Arch major, ArchE or what? You probably know my dad if you were.

Oh, and................errr, that company website looks vaguely familiar to me. It's too bad you had a bad experience in your interview. That was a fucked-up time though. But an even more fucked-up interview, so that's really too bad.

I had a bad experience in my interview as well when I was re-hired, but took the job anyway. Not sure if I should have now, but it was my easiest option at the time. What was the bad experience you ask? They basically gave me a review in my interview. It really sucks to return to a company you once worked for after you left the first time (note to self: don't do that again). I left at a time when I had some work piled up on my desk, but the timing was good in my case...bad in theirs. So they decided to tell me all the negative things associated with me while I was there in my interview. When I got home, I wrote them a letter saying it probably wasn't in their best interest to hire me back, and told them I would have to think about it after they still offered me a position. One of the principals called me back upon receipt of my letter and stated he "wished more people like me worked for them" and other bullshit, so I took the job. What can I say, the bennies are good, they have rad social functions, and I knew the standards and the software like the back of my hand, so I didn't have to go through training again. Plus I got a $2/hr raise so I was relatively happy.

[doublediamond223]

The guy who interviewed me had a super strong studder, like to the point where I thought maybe he was pretending to try and rattle me or something. He ended up being my supervisor for three years. Cool thing was he was an awsome bluegrass musician. Put a guitar in his hands and he would rip it up and sing with no trace of a studder.

Stuttering works that way. When I was younger, I had a pretty bad problem, which was taken care of through a lot of speech therapy. Even in people who have the worst imaginable stuttering problem, singing is not affected, and bad stutterers are able to sing totally fluently. I think the science of it is that it uses a different part of the brain or something like that.

[roll - gybe]

I have a few of these (historically FYI, most of my interviews go badly; all of my hirings have involved beer though)

- NYC investment bank - some guy has a color printout of a powmag pic of tattersal on cody. I notice it and think it would be fun to talk about a common interest. He claims it is himself in picture. He is a fat bastard too. I told him it wasn't. His baldness turned red.

- NYC investment bank - during grad school (2003) this one guy asks:
1-we are interviewing another kid from your school. What do you think of him? no comment.
2-What do you think he is saying about you right now? I told him it was getting ridiculous, and that I had already been in the biz for 4 years, and it was time to cut the sh!t.
3-Ok then... why does your school have so many asians? (asians happen to be under-represented at my grad school)

- NYC investment bank - college - end of a 7 hour interview, starting hour 6 with a new guy. Question #1: "Why the Fuk would you want to do this?"

- NYC investment bank - out of the blue: "So is any of this stuff on your resume actually true?" "Excuse me, I have no idea where that question came from." Turns out she was a freak; not trying to mess with me, just a total nutcase.

- My current job: things going well, and this guy comes in and pummels me with quantitative questions - he is a phd in quantitative finance. He doesn't tell me if he likes my answers. He doesn't build on them or anything. Just keeps pumping me until he gets up and leaves.

I get the job. Turns out he is a total freak - the boss likes to throw a nerf boomrang at him because he flinches every time, and he drives around with a magnetic bumpersticker that says 'I masturbate'

-I had one where this girl my age saw "interests - guitar" and started asking me why I like the guitar. She wasn't getting what she wanted out of me. Finally she goes - don't guys just play the guitar to hook up with drunk girls late night? I wasn't sure what to do with that one and I kinda freaked out. She was not what you would call "attractive"

One more:
So you just ski bummed all winter that year?
Yes.
You think that helped build your skill set?
No, but my life was not going to move on until I did that. (he didn't get it, interview died)

[G]

A few years ago I applied to a company that has an office inside one of the casinos here in Tahoe. After a brief meeting the regional director, I begin the interview with the local manager. He’s apparently looking for an excuse to get out from behind his desk, so he suggests that we go downstairs and discuss the position in one of the casino’s lounges.

I agree, and we head down to the lounge, where he orders drinks for us. The interview seems to be going well, and I manage to do okay with a bunch of technical questions. He seems to like his drink, because he kept going, and to keep up with him I ended downing a couple of beers doing some shots of god knows what.

He still hasn’t officially offered me the job yet, but things are looking good. And I’m getting well buzzed. Meanwhile, the lounge is getting crowded, so he suggests we move to another bar down the street. I’m not too into it, but I really want the job.

Well, the drinks have started to hit me, and by the time we walk to his car, I’m definitely feeling good and drunk. We pull out onto the road, and I begin to feel my stomach complaining about the shot’s I’ve just poured down there. They want back up. I manage to hold it back, though, but not for long. A minute later, my belly begins a mutiny, and the shots are going to have to walk the plank. I can feel them coming up fast, but manage to turn my head to the window before I start to spew. As I begin the projectile vomiting, I sadly realize that the car window is rolled up.

Yes, that’s right, during a job interview, I filled the interviewer’s personal car with rancid chunky vomit. He seemed a little upset, but kept on driving. We soon arrive at the next stop, and I apologize and do my best to clean it out. Eventually, join him in the pub and try to wash the puke taste out with another beer.

Which was a bad idea. In fact, it only brings on more spewing. I run to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I then proceed to clog the only toilet in the place with my own vomit. In my drunken stupor, I decide that they way to get it unclogged is to flush repeatedly. After a while, the barman kicks me and my “friend” out of the place for flooding the entire bar. From there I walk home and try to figure out how to forget this entire fiasco, which was clearly the most unsucessful job interview in the history of the world.









The next week I get a call from the regional director telling me that I actually GOT the job!






And the best part is - a month later, the manager was sent to prison for drunk driving, and I got his job!

[Spark]

She never knows who else was interviewed and the other candidates could have had an even shittier interviews...so she could have come out as a super star...you never know! Good luck!

[itsjust123]

And the best part is - a month later, the manager was sent to prison for drunk driving, and I got his job!

wow. That is one heck of a fast-track program.

[boarddad]

BWAAHAAHAAA! I'm actually working on a project that they're the leads on (i.e. they hired our company to work on the project). Like DG and Legoskier, I know people that work there, too.

That particular company is far and away the largest firm of it's sort in the Sacto area. I wouldn't discount the whole company based on even just one of thier principles. I wouldn't be surprised if that principle has moved on by now, anyway.

That's very true - I't been a lot of years since then. I'm in So Cal now so it's not really an issue. Since you're contracted to them can I assume you're an SE? If so, small world...

I guess the lesson learned was THAT was as bad as it gets. Everything else has been a whole lot easier to deal with using that as a yardstick. I have a really good "first real job disaster" story too but that's for another thread...

[Blatant]

I've been asked some pretty ballsy math questions in interviews... "implement an algorithm to take an array and return one with only unique elements in it" "give me an algorithm to shuffle a desk of cards given that the cards are stored in an array of ints" etc. For the most part I'll just done my best, stay calm, and give the answer with a smile, even if I'm not sure if it's correct.

Sometimes they'll ask impossible questions like "solve the birch & swinnerton-dyer conjecture" just to see how you react. (Which is a millennium prize question, and if you solve it you get a million dollars and wouldn't need their crappy job anyways!)

I've heard of MDs at JP asking candidates to open glued shut windows or things along those lines to gauge reactions. Idiot power trippers. I've also had interviewers take out their blackberries and show me disparaging e-mails they've sent to their counterparts at other banks, a peacock display of who barks the loudest on a particular deal. :

Whater you into exactly? Have you heard of/use CAS,....etc, by chance??

Werd.

[mnflyfish]

I'm actually on the other side of the interview table. I work as an executive recruiter and have to really test how a candidate will answer certain questions, how they react under pressure, and how they handle dumb questions-my client's are in the finance industry so they don't have a lot of experience interviewing and I have to help the candidate plan answers for a bunch of really dumb questions.

I have had candidates come in for interviews with tounge rings so big that their speech is almost completely lost, yeah that will go over big with the CFO in your interview. I've had people tell me all about their childhood, abuse, sexual harrassment cases, etc. Had one guy tell me how his "habit" will prevent him from passing the drug test. About 5 times I've been offered "favors" if I get someone a job. I've been told about crimes, firings, frankly I should consider writing a book about things not to bring up in an interview.

Back to the post at hand, all these things and I've managed to place a good portion of these people. So tell your friend not to sweat the interview. It probibally wasn't as bad as they thought.

Good Luck,
Jay

[MarsB]

One of my previous employers was an aerospace firm headquartered in Florida. Somehow I had completely snowed my supervisor, who recommended me for an internal fast track program for contracts proposal/capture work. It was sort of a management trainee gig, where if you were selected (they only took 3 people a year), you got to travel and schmooze clients (not to mention start at a six-figure salary). It was a sweet gig, but I wasn't sure about the whole living in FL part or all of the required travel.

They arranged for me to fly down for an interview in November, so I accepted. Coincidentally, the office was not far from Sebastian Inlet (legendary east coast surfing break), so I decided I couldn't miss this opportunity. I figured it might be a bit conspicuous if I rolled into the interview with my surfboard on top my rental, so I grabbed my bodyboard, threw fins, trunks and a towel in the boardbag and checked them at the airline counter.
I wore shorts, t-shirt and flipflops on the flight, with my garment bag containing my suit as my carry-on. I hopped on the flight, psyched about my surf trip on company time.

Everything went perfectly, flight was on time, I arrived in FL with an hour to spare. I was 15 minutes drive from my interview, so I ducked into the airport bathroom (handicap stall, plenty of room to change) and opened my garment bag and pulled out what I thought was my suit, but turned out to be just a navy blue blazer! 45 minutes to interview, sans pants.

I hightailed it out of there, picked up my rental car and shouted something to the guy behind the counter about finding a men's clothing store. As luck would have it, there was a mall on the way to the interview. I rush into the Leggetts, explain my predicament to the clerk, then run back out to the car to get my carry-on. T-minus 25 minutes to interview. I ran to the dressing room, the clerk returned with three suits in my size and I chose the first one he handed me. Luckily it fit with no alterations needed, so I threw my credit card to the clerk and started changing frantically. He rang me up, I thanked him profusely, and hightailed it to my interview. I made it with three minutes to spare, picking tags off my jacket as I'm walking through the parking lot. I performed a quick check of my appearance in the lobby bathroom and was sitting down just as the receptionist called me in.

I sat down at the table with the five interviewers, exchanged plesantries, and relaxed for the first time since the airport. The first interviewer smiled at me and said, "You know, you really didn't have to wear a suit for this interview..."

I ended up making it to the final five (out of 20), but didn't make the final cut. I did get to catch some sweet beach break barrels at Sebastian (whilst on the clock) before flying back that night to WV.

Oh, and a sweet new suit.

[tetsuma]

Since someone already opened the topic of interviewing w investment banks, this is fair game.

1995... Goldman Sachs. Up and coming star follows up with candidate with a call from his cell phone (or car phone) to candidate trying to set up follow-ups. Up and comer in his beemer leaves message but forgets to disconnect the call. He then, brilliantly, begins to discuss candidate with whatever friend was in the car with him. conversation goes along these lines, "she's hot. I would love to bang her box. suggesting we hire her., blah, blah, blah."

Problem was her answering machine recorded the whole discussion about her anatomy and the positions in which he wanted to place said anatomy.

Needless to say, Goldman HR gets a call from an attorney representing candidate. Up and comer gets canned -- this is back in the days when Goldman was still privately held and even had a full time divorce attorney on hire -- girl gets settlement, and goes to another bank.

Folks like me at other bulge bracket firms have a good laugh.

[Ubersheist]

Stuttering works that way. When I was younger, I had a pretty bad problem, which was taken care of through a lot of speech therapy. Even in people who have the worst imaginable stuttering problem, singing is not affected, and bad stutterers are able to sing totally fluently. I think the science of it is that it uses a different part of the brain or something like that.

I used to stutter a bit (not very badly, just every once in a while) when I was younger. I was also playing in bands and in choir. I never stuttered while singing. Also, the infamous Stuttering John from the old Howard Stern Show obviously stuttered like Legoskier's mom puts out, but not while singing for his band.

Since you're contracted to them can I assume you're an SE?

No, I'm sort of like an offshoot of a CE. I do soil sciences and geology. The company mentioned above are the overseers of the job, but they convinced the owners/investors to hire us to do the foundation recommendations on a residential project of theirs. We're actually not directly hired by the company mentioned, but got it because of them. Anyway, we're still just an exceedingly small portion of any given project.

[lemon boy]

I have a relatively specific niche that I like to work in and for my last job hop had a small army of exec recruiters looking for jobs many of these people are total dumbshits (sorry MNFF) and I ended up going to a couple of interviews where the recruiter had sold me to them as something I wasn't and sold them to me as something they weren't. I ended up just flat stopping a couple of interviews and saying words to the effect of: I'm sorry, this is not the job I thought it was and I'm not the candidate you thought I was.