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Thread: I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

  1. #7976
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    Quote Originally Posted by yeahman View Post
    She wasn't being sarcastic. Crying kids on a plane don't bother me in the least. I believe most parents who have been through that stage would agree.
    My wife cant stand babies/children crying. Says its a maternal thing. I dont have the same issue and can block it out easily. I also have flown with my kid enough that as long as the parents are engaged with their kids, i dont have any problem with fussiness/tantrums/breakdowns/etc... that kind a thing happens to everyone. Theyre kids.

    All that said, for anyone that hates kids crying or doesnt want to hear it... just put on some fucking noise canceling headphones, or just normal headphones with music!?!? Theyre cheap and ubiquotous nowadays, so there is no excuse. Whiney fussy adults are WAAAAAY worse than whiny fussy kids.

  2. #7977
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    Our daughter crying is how we learned about baby Benadryl.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  3. #7978
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cisco Kid View Post
    2 days ago my wife ordered a custom cake at the market for a party today and was told it would be ready at 12 noon. She went on a hike and called me in a panic because it's 12:30 and she's afraid if we don't pick it up at noon?????
    Risk is that the bakery closes before someone (her) gets there, or someone else comes in for a party cake and that one goes to them instead of your wife...

  4. #7979
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    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots;[emoji[emoji6[emoji640
    [emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]][emoji638][emoji638][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji640]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji640]][emoji637][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]]]]Our daughter crying is how we learned about baby Benadryl.
    Don’t give your kid Benadryl to make them sleep. It’s not harmless.

  5. #7980
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    Our daughter was fussy on the plane, not a big problem, and so I think it was my wife and I both were standing near the toilets in the back, and this woman whispers to us: “Baby Benadryl”, and we kinda looked at each other eyebrows raised, like no we’re not drugging our kid
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  6. #7981
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    back in the day I remember it was gripe water
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  7. #7982
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    Shit I’ve been told to put whiskey and chamomile into the kids tea during teething.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  8. #7983
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    thats ^^^ pretty much what gripe water was, it contained alcohol
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  9. #7984
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    Figured
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  10. #7985
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    <p>
    Wife&rsquo;s new habit is walking around the house in AirPods completely oblivious to all other noises, movements, who&rsquo;s home, what room they&#39;re in, etc. So 3-4 times in the last week or so she comes around a corner or steps in room and shrieks/gasps at the top of her lungs because she&rsquo;s so self unaware of her surroundings that seeing another human being scares the ever living shit out of her. Just now I walked out of the bedroom and she was in the living room (AirPods in) and nearly has a damn heart attack and yells at the top of her lungs &ldquo;why do you do that!!??&rdquo; , to which I replied &ldquo;what, walk out of the bedroom?!?&rdquo; JHC Are you fucking serious?</p>
    water is the driving force of all nature

  11. #7986
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    Apologize, thought I had figured out how to post without all the weird characters, obviously not. Fuck, I need a beer.
    water is the driving force of all nature

  12. #7987
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    ( don't use apostrophes will get you a long way there )

  13. #7988
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    Quote Originally Posted by present tense View Post
    <p>
    Wife&rsquo;s new habit is walking around the house in AirPods completely oblivious to all other noises, movements, who&rsquo;s home, what room they&#39;re in, etc. So 3-4 times in the last week or so she comes around a corner or steps in room and shrieks/gasps at the top of her lungs because she&rsquo;s so self unaware of her surroundings that seeing another human being scares the ever living shit out of her. Just now I walked out of the bedroom and she was in the living room (AirPods in) and nearly has a damn heart attack and yells at the top of her lungs &ldquo;why do you do that!!??&rdquo; , to which I replied &ldquo;what, walk out of the bedroom?!?&rdquo; JHC Are you fucking serious?</p>
    Bahahaha. I feel your pain. Fortunately my wife doesn't jump scare like that. But otherwise she doesn't hear a word anyone says to her.
    I see hydraulic turtles.

  14. #7989
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    Aug 2006
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    One of three of my kids is like that. It can be very frustrating. My wife also uses Bluetooth earbuds around the house, but she often now only wears in one ear. She partially does it to demonstrate to the kid how to maintain situational awareness.

  15. #7990
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    Lulz. My wife does the one ear thing too. It doesn't help.

  16. #7991
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    Apr 2007
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    So I get home from work today, early AM (I work 24s). I hear Mrs Diamond Joe -who would usually never be up this early on a Sunday - getting up and going into the bathroom. A minute later she pokes her head around the staircase between floors - there's no toilet paper up here!! - she says.

    Ummm, OK - we have always stored the backup supply of TP in the giant upstairs bathroom closet, odd that there is none up there I think. So I trot down to the downstairs bathroom, where there is usually a backup roll or two. None. Fuck. So I grab the in-use roll from the downstairs bathroom, as, clearly this is an urgent need, right??

    Come back up and hand her the roll. Where did you get this? I took it from downstairs. Why would you do that??? She says, agitated. Well, you needed toilet paper RIGHT NOW and that is the only roll down there!!! She sighs dramatically, comes downstairs, then down to the downstairs bathroom, where she re-rolls the roll I took. Then she walks into the shit room - where we have NEVER KEPT BACKUP TP in 15 years of living in this house and walks out with the package of backup TP. Which she apparently moved at some unknown point in the past.

    HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU MOVED THE FUCKING BACKUP TP!?? Divine Intuition?? Extra sensory perception?? Where can one learn Mind Reading for a Happy Marriage?

  17. #7992
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    It’s not about the nail.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  18. #7993
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    Nov 2008
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    I'm in charge of supplying the house with TP, and guaranteeing that all shit stations always have backup. This has become even more critical with incipient gomerism and cranky bowels. If the TP suddenly started re-arranging itself, courtesy of The Queen, shit would fly. Yeah, I - know, BIDET, MF; DO YOU SPEAK IT??

  19. #7994
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    We have a bum gun in one bathroom and use TP to dry off. Been doing that for several years. I was introduced to the small hand towel method in Italy last month and am considering posing the change to the family. We could also easily do the self wash with soap method in one of our bathrooms.

  20. #7995
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    Italian small hand towel method? Tell me more!Is that washing your bum with soap or washing your hands after washing your bum with only water?Asking for my lota-toting Indian friend.

  21. #7996
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    i put in the bidet attachment & been on the same 18 pak of TP since pre-covid, one can buy a doz small hand towels at the big box store and you can figure it out from there
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  22. #7997
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    Quote Originally Posted by PB View Post
    Italian small hand towel method? Tell me more!Is that washing your bum with soap or washing your hands after washing your bum with only water?Asking for my lota-toting Indian friend.
    It’s a fairly nice experience, IMO. Using a towel to dry your ass and tossing the towel in the laundry afterwards. Our airbnbs that were set up for this method had a small laundry basket in the bathroom for the hand towels.

    Two places we stayed at were set up with adjacent bathroom sinks and had soap for the ass. Rinse, soap-up, wash, rinse, dry ass, wash hands in sink with soap and water. Being thoughtful about touching faucets and stuff only with the clean hand.

  23. #7998
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    After nearly 40 years of legally wedded corruption cosplay, Ken Paxton has been left by his wife on biblical grounds. (Unclear if it's Leviticus, Revelations, or the part where snakes talk.)
    Ken, feel free to vent here. It’s a safe space.

  24. #7999
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Ken, feel free to vent here. It&rsquo;s a safe space.
    JHFC. Who would have an affair with that choad?

  25. #8000
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    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    Ken, feel free to vent here. It’s a safe space.
    not a safe space for that asshole
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

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