About to turn 50 and am too tired to continue

[Bunion 2020]

That is odd seeing as how I am in the pictures.

But you keep right on keeping score, it is the only way you have to value your self worth which seems awfully low.

Oh and people who do things for other people don't fucking brag about it.

[byates1]

Nice job continuing to ruin this thread. Your self worth must be super solid to continue this pettiness.

[Bunion 2020]

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahha. Pot! Meet kettle.

[uglymoney]

My younger brother decided to transition in 2020. Thus my sister after that, but he will always be my brother to me. 2.5 years younger. Yesterday as my parents were talking to him they asked what her name was and he said Brian. He passed away just hours after that.

The inner conflict was over. The pain was gone. The peace ensued.

I’m devastated for my parents.

So, so sorry Buzz. I lost my only sibling in 2019. She was my older sister and 49 when she threw in the towel. I will never be the same.

[byates1]

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahha. Pot! Meet kettle.

Remember I know where you live and what you drive. Dog shit, meet door handle.

[Bunion 2020]

You are going to rub yourself all over my door handles????

[old goat]

Remember I know where you live and what you drive. Dog shit, meet door handle.

I can only imagine that your pathetic attempts at insults are a desperate cry for help. I truly hope you get it, because you are a truly damaged person. Now I'm sure you will come up with some juvenile response, but I won't be reading it. Hopefully everyone else here will put you on ignore as well. I highly recommend it.

[byates1]

Bunion and I have been arguing and bickering for a half decade. It's part of the magic of this wonderful place. Don't get too twisted up, oh that's right you're a wealthy white Californian. Sorry you're offended life must be so difficult high above Tahoe in your mansion.

[Core Shot]

The good news?
I’ll never take my own life.
Those thoughts are done and not allowed.
I gotta get through this.

That’s the spirit.

Rough shit with your brother/sister.

Suicide is selfish. Yeah we all got shit. But checking out leaves a vacuum and pain for the survivors. Been there. More than I like.

Sometimes you have to live for others.

[XXX-er]

Yesterday was my last day after 24 years, six months and two days. I have been "involuntarily" retired. It's the first day of the rest of my life. I went to my AquaMobility class this morning same as I always do on Tuesday. There was no hurry to get back to my desk. Anybody got a fun, low stress job for a recovering IT guy with a CS degree? I have some Linux projects I plan to do for fun and learning, but I do eventually need to get more paychecks.

After a 30 yr gig I got " right sized " in 05 at age 49 which was good cuz I was so done but not at the time, the full re-adjustment probably took about 4 yrs, IBM started paying full pension/ retirement/ full benefits right away so i could afford to never get another real job which is great if you can afford it. But I was just a HW guy, I would think a software guy can find another job fucking up the HW

[fastfred]

Hi everyone.

Just want to stop in and say what a great thread this is. The reasons why is a nice long list and I'm not going to blabber all that right now, but maybe for fun we can list them together? Digging into that deep dark hole sucks cock in the worst ways ever. It's so easy to get swallowed by it. Lot's of people I know have just given up and let it eat them, throwing their hands up as if it's impossible.

This past year has been amazing for me, I've also had some self inflicted pain, mostly due to work and taking my job way too seriously. The hole was the pits and even though I was surrounded by a "perfect" life I let it get the best of me one too many times. I had a complete break down a month or so ago, I had no control over my emotions or body for fifteen minutes or more. Usually I can do anything, the biggest being a control freak and always winning. Everything caught up with me, again it was all work induced. I have yelled and screamed at many people in the past few months, that's not me, I'm easy going, but I've been pushed to my limits.

I've followed this thrad cheering for others hoping for the best biggest outcome. Pretty sure I saw it and I also saw the best of TRG.

I'd like to take a second to make note of those cunting up this thrad. Fuck Off. You want to attack O.G., not cool, the guy gives nothing buy positivity and good vibes around here. That's where I got pissed. You are an asshole for shitting on that guy.

I know I have given you my number, if your having a bad time, give me a call, I always answer every call I get (mostly due to work) whether it's in my phone or not. I don't want to toot my horn but I think I'm pretty good and dealing with people. I'm happy to give my number to anyone on this forum. Years of therapy, twelve step programs, and having many people in my orbit of life who deal with drug, alcohol, and mental health problems, well, it makes me a pro. I'm great at listening, I don't judge, and I don't offer advice. Like I said, I've been having a rough time lately myself (work) and I don't always have the time, but I can make it, I turn my phone off early every night cause that's how I roll.

This time of year is the absolute worst! While everyone is being so fucking jolly and happy with the holidays many people are suffering. I get it. With all the mental health platitudes that are given these days it's seems they are forgotten around this time of year when it's easy for everyone to drink and eat away their problems. It's a rough time of year for sure.

End of Rant

[MakersTeleMark]

Fred:

Nice sentiment. Now make it a 2025 thing to get back to me.

[Meadow Skipper]

Your best post ever, fastfred.

[John_B]

Well said Fred. Or is it fred? Life is always looking for a curve ball to throw at you and the sneaky fucker is never predictable. I've had a doozy of a curveball over the past 3 months and one of the things that has really helped me is accepting that there are things I can control in the situation and there are parts that are wholly out of my control and those parts may drive an outcome I don't want.

Buzz I'm real sorry to hear about your sibling. I'm young enough I shouldn't have to deal with that for a while but can't even begin to imagine the pain and challenges with it.

riser(4?) I believe that no matter the circumstances you'll be able to figure shit out and perhaps even when you turn over a new leaf you'll also be able to turn your avatar right side up too!

[cat in january]

Tough time of the year. Skiing that we look forward to can be shit, it is where I am. Days are short, nights are long and loved ones gone are thought of. Hang in there everyone. Take a walk and let the cold the cold wind slap you in the face. Wishing everyone the very best

[MakersTeleMark]

Username knows shit.

[Buzzworthy]

I should have never started this fucking thread.

[m2711c]

Yeah, maybe. But you did. Might as well make good use of it now.

How’s it goin’?

[Buzzworthy]

Not good at all. Not one bit.

[m2711c]

I’m sorry to hear that. I know you’ve been dealing with a lot of heavy shit lately. Anything I can do to help?

[skiJ]

what's going on, Buzz- ? ??

[Shredhead]

Can we ski together today?

I'll drive there right now and be there
by opening bell.

[skiJ]

I see a piece of it, Buzz-

hell. delete the thread if it 'll help.

( Please) don't forget > illegitimus non (carb'rundum(sp?) )


'Don't let the bastards get you down. '

[riser4]

Not good at all. Not one bit.

We love you man.

[byates1]

Hope things improve in 25 buzz. Wishing you the best.