Coaching young kids sports teams

[alias_rice]

Sounds like you may get your weeknights back. You should thank her.

[toast2266]

Time to start wearing the gopro for coaching sessions.

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[old goat]

Well obviously the girl must be trans. We have to put a stop to that.

But seriously, why would you subject yourself to that. Seems like the kid getting booted from the league might be the wakeup call the family needs that there's a problem that needs to be dealt with. But probably they'll just sue.

[jerlane]

Had a very disturbing incident last night at practice. 15th yr of coaching and the worst thing that I've been involved in yet.

We were sharing the ice with another team and I've coached most of the other team...split team scrimmage and couple of the coaches were skating too...myself included

Back story...The girl involved has a long history...she and her mother are the number one worst child/parent combo I've ever dealt with out of approx 150 kids I've coached. They HATE me cause I've done the unthinkable and told the daughter to knock it off when she's punching people at 7 yrs old, telling people she's gonna fuck them up at 11 yrs old, etc...countless incidents with her and zero accountability from mom...always a victim

The girl mistakenly went on the ice and had to be told it wasn't her turn and she started yelling at me cause she thought I was stealing her ice time in the confusion...I didn't respond

Couple shifts later I was talking to all the girls about a coaching point and this girl starts yelling at me about stealing her ice time...YELLING...and won't stop. I don't engage...let her go on and when she takes a breath I say...wow, that's really inappropriate. Any other kid I would have sent packing but I know her well...extremely unstable and angry and that would only make it worse. Never said anything else to her and she left crying shortly after when I was on the ice

Skate ends and I go right up to the mom and tell her what happened. Mom responds with...well she says you told her she doesn't know what she's doing out her,etc etc. I hadn't even talked to her. Told mom that never happened...mom told me I'm lying

This woman and her husband are best friends with our GM. Their daughter is really disturbed and scary...like shaking and completely blacked out crazy when she's yelling at me

I just submitted my application for HC next yr that goes straight to their best friend the GM...who is not a good guy.

I'm beside myself right now...I barely slept last night

You’re a fucking hero for doing what you do and putting up with all that and not losing it. Pretty sure I couldn’t keep my cool throughout all that.


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[Touring_Sedan]

Had a very disturbing incident last night at practice. 15th yr of coaching and the worst thing that I've been involved in yet.

We were sharing the ice with another team and I've coached most of the other team...split team scrimmage and couple of the coaches were skating too...myself included

Back story...The girl involved has a long history...she and her mother are the number one worst child/parent combo I've ever dealt with out of approx 150 kids I've coached. They HATE me cause I've done the unthinkable and told the daughter to knock it off when she's punching people at 7 yrs old, telling people she's gonna fuck them up at 11 yrs old, etc...countless incidents with her and zero accountability from mom...always a victim

The girl mistakenly went on the ice and had to be told it wasn't her turn and she started yelling at me cause she thought I was stealing her ice time in the confusion...I didn't respond

Couple shifts later I was talking to all the girls about a coaching point and this girl starts yelling at me about stealing her ice time...YELLING...and won't stop. I don't engage...let her go on and when she takes a breath I say...wow, that's really inappropriate. Any other kid I would have sent packing but I know her well...extremely unstable and angry and that would only make it worse. Never said anything else to her and she left crying shortly after when I was on the ice

Skate ends and I go right up to the mom and tell her what happened. Mom responds with...well she says you told her she doesn't know what she's doing out her,etc etc. I hadn't even talked to her. Told mom that never happened...mom told me I'm lying

This woman and her husband are best friends with our GM. Their daughter is really disturbed and scary...like shaking and completely blacked out crazy when she's yelling at me

I just submitted my application for HC next yr that goes straight to their best friend the GM...who is not a good guy.

I'm beside myself right now...I barely slept last night

I'm sure there's another parent who has been witness to the behavior. I'd chat with them and see if they'd be willing to back you up if needed.

[skiJ]

booner -
I am with jerlane in appreciating you for working with the kids - Thank you !

seeking brevity, I will offer two observations to your post
( the disclaimer is I do not understand how your youth hockey program is administrated with GMs and such ) -

regarding the girl, I understand you to have written any other kid would have been sent to the locker room following the tirade ;
I understood you to say you did not do that with her because it would have made the situation worse ;
in my opinion and in my experience, this child knows she has a different set of rules - to me, this is a mistake.
at some point in activities like sports, there does become a gradient - standouts get favoritism, But by allowing this child to behave in this way without repercussion is rewarding the misbehavior.

to the issue of the HC position responsible to the GM who is 'not a good guy. ', I think my response is, do You really want that job - and Why! ?
Life is Short.

Thank you for coaching the kids. !

With Respect,

skiJ

[Dantheman]

You’re a fucking hero for doing what you do and putting up with all that and not losing it. Pretty sure I couldn’t keep my cool throughout all that.


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Seriously.

[::: :::]

booner, you're a class coach letting that roll off you in front of the team and still giving mature feedback, even if only the teammates heard it

if the gm is a buddy of the family (maybe even: ESPECIALLY IF), gm is probably more than aware of the girl's uh "sensitivities"

[booner]

Thx for all the support...Geez

Coaching (well) is one of the most challenging things I've done in my life...it's so tough and takes a lot of development. I played my whole life and it barely sets you up to be average at it. You have to put a lot of work into learning and naturally have some specific personality traits. When I had my first kid about to get into it I was set on not coaching since I was pretty familiar with the bullshit from playing at a high level and seeing psycho behavior in the bleachers. Once I got through the first yr or two I knew I was really good at it and just kept building my skills. Coached my son all the way through and now it's just my daughter. I'm at the point of being a big asset now and know I need to be around for them...it's not like there's qualified people lined up to coach teenage girls...it's torture if you're not really into it.

I called the org pres today after sharing the story with a guy at work and him telling me I was nuts to not call someone. She was very familiar with their history and had my back. I've known her for probably 10 years of coaching and she's great.

The GM is just a slimy bullshit artist. Bad guy is a stretch but I don't like him or trust him.

She's going to have a conversation with the girls program director that hires the coaches and knows me...good dude that has an insane coaching resume at a few high levels of female hockey. He coached a D3 national title winner and his current team is top 20 in US out of like 400 teams.

I'm sure it all sounds nuts and it is. I'm in the largest hockey org in NYS and many of these girls are on the path to play some really good college hockey.

[skiballs]

When I coached rule #1 was, if your mouth is running when the coach is talking, you’ll be running.



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[skiJ]

Good luck, booner !

it sounds like you are in the right place, and
the prez would be a good ally to have.

Good luck !

[booner]

What a turn of events...

Just had long conversation with girl's director and he hired me for next year. He knew what was up and knows my best friend that spoke highly of me.

LFG

[JimmyCarter]

FKNA booner, way to go

[skiJ]

Congratulations, booner !

[BC.]

As someone who has coached at all levels (youth, MS, HS, College) over the last 30 years…..I am happy to hear your good news.

The worst part of coaching is the “my kid is going Division I”/ but are totally unrealistic parents. Long ago it used to be the LL playing dads….now it’s totally the grizzly moms and their social media accounts. Behind their phones/keyboard they are killing the souls of coaches of all ages..….and why there is such a shortage of good young/knowledgeable coaches…..and for that matter, teachers in our society.

The best part of coaching is working with the kids who are coachable/look you in the eye….and are willing to try our “tips” and “tricks of the trade”..…..to help “them”….

Keep up the good work….

[mattig]

I was also a coach for 7 years while my kid was in it, and president of the club for 5 of those. Most thought provoking advice I got from the previous guy was to just remember... When it comes to the biggest problem kids--the ones you want to tell to fuck off and find another sport to ruin for everyone--just remember you may be the closest thing to a positive adult role model they'll ever have. It changed the way I was interacting with my version of what you just dealt with. It was not easy, and it didn't look like it was making a difference for the first year and a half. Then it did.

What a turn of events...

Just had long conversation with girl's director and he hired me for next year. He knew what was up and knows my best friend that spoke highly of me.

LFG

I started replying before reading the whole thread. Nice to see the outcome!

[booner]

Side note...just saw that one of the girls that I coached on my son's team committed to play college hockey this week. That's the second girl from my son's team...one is in her freshman year now and doing well.

That's just the coolest thing to see happen for them

[booner]

I had forgotten that I posted about that ridiculous situation that happened a while ago.

I actually came on here to post about just how much I hate the tryout/coach hiring part of the season...it's so toxic and sickning every year regardless if I have any personal connection to any of the bs.

Well...I've heard rumblings that the family of that girl that had that episode with me is assassinating my character to anyone that will listen...because obviously I did what their daughter said I did and she didn't do anything wrong.

Got a weird vibe from the guy that hired me and no response when I asked him to call me. Unfortunately that's not exactly atypical from the board guys that do the hiring this time of year. It's all so so weird with this shit.

Anyway...I just sit here and wait for this guy to call me again a day before they broadcast the coaches all over social media nonstop...I'm definitely not feeling good about things at this point. I'm all to family with this family and their pattern...they mettle

I have a feeling I'm going to HAMMER red wine all weekend