
Originally Posted by
goldenboy
An old friend that I haven't seen in years was visiting last weekend. Now, he's always been a bit of a fuckup. One time when he was visiting CB he drove a patroller's snowmobile off a cat track into steep trees and trashed the bumper and the hood. At his home hill he started a flood in the tower of a base lodge ( I think it was weed and sprinkler system related). He couldn't come to my wedding since it would mean leaving his state due to a dui. Those are just off the top of my head.
Anyway, I hadn't seen or even heard from him in years when he called up and said he was on a road trip and wanted to visit. Come on up, I said. Well, it took forever for him to make what could be a one day drive from AZ- he kept going the wrong way, and didn't hit the road early, etc. He finally makes it and that's when the crazy stories really ramp up.
Most of the stories went in circles that didn't make any sense. His Hertz rental car, for instance, was actually owned by the State Department. They needed it back but he was going to buy it, and of course it wasn't really street legal due to all the modifications State made to it. Looked like a normal 4runner to me. Also he could drive it across the Mexico border anywhere he wanted since the State department always had an eye on it and would take out the Mexican army if they tried to mess with their property.
Then there were all his friends, supposedly all ex special forces of some sort. and their fights, and near fights. And apparently his town is filled with federal marshals, and secret service, and on and on. We went to the Secret Stash and he got agitated right away, mumbling something about someone pointing at him and saying "special forces". He wasn't in the special forces, I've known him since we were both 20. Then the 3 guys in the booth behind us were discovered by the secret service (or maybe federal marshals, it wasn't super clear). Those 3 killed or talked to the wrong people, according to him. The next morning, at the gas station, he somehow finds out that the 3 guys "got 50 years, but they'll be rehabilitated in 13 days". OK, I think, those 3 normal looking guys in their 20's eating pizza and drinking beer definitely had that all happen to them in the past 24 hours.
Speaking of the gas station, my buddy can't pay and leaves his ski pass for collateral. At this point, I think he's gone, but he can't pay for the gas and can't use his iphone because he doesn't have a charger. He also has an android that is charged, but he can't figure out how to get wifi at the library or a coffee shop to make a wifi call to his bank. So he goes to a local real estate agency (knowing that's what I do), and makes the poor agent/coworker/friend call me so I can go into town and help him. The story drags on a bit but the short version is that I end up paying for his gas so he can get out of here before I completely lose my mind, too.
He left a rambling message the next day at 1am, praising me for "keeping my cool and keeping an eye on those guys at the pizza place"
Hopefully he's ok. I don't really know any of his friends, or how to get in touch with his ex wife or daughter, although I'm sure they're all too aware that his brain is going some weird places. I'm not sure what, if anything, I could have done or done differently, but it was super stressful. I won't be surprised if a couple of you know exactly who I'm talking about, pm me if you do.
Bookmarks