I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[AK47bp]

Parking in downtown Seattle for the Mariners game yesterday my wife just leaves her purse/bag thing on the passenger seat. I told her to put in the center console so it’s out of sight.

So she says to me “why, I already took my wallet out”


Women, can’t live with’em……grab me a beer.





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[riser4]

We had a giant first generation "flat" screen, where the screen was flat but there was still a huge TV behind it. She bought it in 2006 and paid way too much for it. We actually had a legit plasma screen in the basement I had gotten from my parents ready to replace it for a year before the giant TV finally broke and I could get rid of it.

I got one really cheap from a buddy. That fucker was heavy. Had great sound. "Flat" screen. Heh. Got rid of it in 2015 and miss one cool feature. It was great for nerf guns. You could probably throw a brick at it and not damage the glass. The modern TVs don't like being shot with nerf darts.

[riser4]

Parking in downtown Seattle for the Mariners game yesterday my wife just leaves her purse/bag thing on the passenger seat. I told her to put in the center console so it’s out of sight.

So she says to me “why, I already took my wallet out”


Women, can’t live with’em……grab me a beer.





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Nice. Make her get the broken window fixed and clean out the homeless person's feces.

[MontuckyFried]

Parking in downtown Seattle for the Mariners game yesterday my wife just leaves her purse/bag thing on the passenger seat. I told her to put in the center console so it’s out of sight.

So she says to me “why, I already took my wallet out”

[AK47bp]

Nice. Make her get the broken window fixed and clean out the homeless person's feces.

I believe my response was; “you think the fentheads have X-ray vision and will know your wallet isn’t in there!?!?”

Tense walk to the stadium.


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[old goat]

Connecting in Copenhage, huge passport control line filling the maze and a hundred feet past it. My wife decides to try to buy legos for the grandkids when we first get into the terminal. She arrives at passport control just as I'm the first in line, waiting to be called. She passes the whole line, goes into the crew/diplomat maze which is empty, ducks a couple of ropes and joins me at the booth where the officer is happy to process her with me. Nobody says boo. It is challenging to be married with someone with that kind of chutzpah.

[riser4]

Connecting in Copenhage, huge passport control line filling the maze and a hundred feet past it. My wife decides to try to buy legos for the grandkids when we first get into the terminal. She arrives at passport control just as I'm the first in line, waiting to be called. She passes the whole line, goes into the crew/diplomat maze which is empty, ducks a couple of ropes and joins me at the booth where the officer is happy to process her with me. Nobody says boo. It is challenging to be married with someone with that kind of chutzpah.

So much balls. Does your wife identify as male? Nttawwt

[dan_pdx]

Connecting in Copenhage, huge passport control line filling the maze and a hundred feet past it. My wife decides to try to buy legos for the grandkids when we first get into the terminal. She arrives at passport control just as I'm the first in line, waiting to be called. She passes the whole line, goes into the crew/diplomat maze which is empty, ducks a couple of ropes and joins me at the booth where the officer is happy to process her with me. Nobody says boo. It is challenging to be married with someone with that kind of chutzpah.

Dude, that's awesome. I can imagine it can be a double edged sword though.

[californiagrown]

Nice. Make her get the broken window fixed and clean out the homeless person's feces.

The problem is that her problems become my problem to fix. And if i dont fix it, then its our shared bank account that gets charged for someone else to fix the problems. And i contribute the lions share to that account.

There really isnt any way to "let them learn the hard way" without me also having to "learn the hard way" even though i learned that lesson years ago and dont make that mistake anymore. Its infuriating. Sometimes i really wish that i could be the cliche dumb slob/mess of a husband who has their wife cleaning up after them constantly.

[halliday]

Connecting in Copenhage, huge passport control line filling the maze and a hundred feet past it. My wife decides to try to buy legos for the grandkids when we first get into the terminal. She arrives at passport control just as I'm the first in line, waiting to be called. She passes the whole line, goes into the crew/diplomat maze which is empty, ducks a couple of ropes and joins me at the booth where the officer is happy to process her with me. Nobody says boo. It is challenging to be married with someone with that kind of chutzpah.

Women can do things like that with no repercussions. Kinda like taking a piss in the mens room because the women's line is too long. Guys don't mind but try doing that in the women's room.

[old goat]

So much balls. Does your wife identify as male? Nttawwt

What Halliday says. No man would do that, and if he did he would get his ass kicked.

Dude, that's awesome. I can imagine it can be a double edged sword though.

Double edged sword with no handle. Try holding on to that.

[riser4]

What Halliday says. No man would do that, and if he did he would get his ass kicked.

Right, so that's the paradox. Because it takes balls to pull off a move like that. Or, if it's not balls, then the answer simultaneously more amusing and terrifying at the same time.

[Beaver]

It's not balls, they're wimpy and fragile. A pussy on the other hand can take a pounding and still want more.

[yeahman]

What Halliday says. No man would do that, and if he did he would get his ass kicked.


Double edged sword with no handle. Try holding on to that.

Sounds exactly like something my mom would have done. Fearless. I grew up in a perma-cringe though.

[plugboots]

It's not balls, they're wimpy and fragile. A pussy on the other hand can take a pounding and still want more.

This is almost word for word Tina Fey’s stand up routine.

[PB]

It's not balls, they're wimpy and fragile. A pussy on the other hand can take a pounding and still want more.

User name checks out!

[Harry]

This is almost word for word Tina Fey’s stand up routine.

Betty White said it first.


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[plugboots]

Betty White said it first.


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Of course.

[halliday]

Right, so that's the paradox. Because it takes balls to pull off a move like that. Or, if it's not balls, then the answer simultaneously more amusing and terrifying at the same time.

My wife says about women: "Our balls are in our brains, your brains are in your balls". I think she sees through the bullshit quite well.

[old goat]

There's 8 fucking billion of us, so I guess god planned it that way for a reason.

[PB]

8 fucking billion ..... balls? brains? lbs of pussy???? lbs of bullshit?


.... bated breath.

[old goat]

8 fucking billion ..... balls? brains? lbs of pussy???? lbs of bullshit?


.... bated breath.

Sorry, "us" not "it".

[MakersTeleMark]

Related, but not, I member in 2000, end of the semester, I had a 3 week trip (not) planned to Argie. I left the hill in Boulder at 4 am. I ended up bumping into this super drunk chick who I felt I needed to get to a safe home. We, me being we carrying her on my shoulder, around the hill for an hour. I finally pulled out her purse and found her addy. We had walked by it 3x. I dropped her at the door, knocked and woke the whole house up.

I set a flip phone alarm for my international flight. Missed that alarm. The only connection I knew what the hippy limo. Called them at 6 am, dread boy picks me up, I give him $200 and say I need to be at DIA in 1/2 hour. He does mach loonie. I ran ran ran. Just had a little alpine attack approach pack, still probably drunk. Pulled a full 1980's slide through the side of the security maze under much screaming protest, made my flight and slept for 14 hours. Showed up in Argie and was like, now what do I do for 3 weeks. That was a great trip. Not possible post 911. My best slide ever.

[halliday]

8 fucking billion ..... balls? brains? lbs of pussy???? lbs of bullshit?


.... bated breath.

8 billion pounds of pussy. Nice

[AK47bp]

8 fucking billion ..... balls? brains? lbs of pussy???? lbs of bullshit?


.... bated breath.

Maybe tits in the world? Math checks out.


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