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Thread: I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

  1. #6901
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    Jan 2008
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    And the bike seats aren't even heated.

  2. #6902
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    Mar 2008
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    northern BC
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    34,016
    Quote Originally Posted by MontuckyFried View Post
    Little basket of clean, small towels. Another basket (with a lid) for the used ones. Have this setup in both bathrooms. I have a custom cycle on my washing machine for when it's time to launder everything. Come on, guys. This ain't rocket surgery!
    Its suprising how many people have made it to be adults butt could not figure this out

    A 10 pack of those micro fibre small hand washclothes is ideal, launder/ soak on a super hot cycle
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  3. #6903
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Where the sheets have no stains
    Posts
    24,133
    Sounds kinda disgusting to me but if Uranus is happy that is what matters.
    I have been in this State for 30 years and I am willing to admit that I am part of the problem.

    "Happiest years of my life were earning < $8.00 and hour, collecting unemployment every spring and fall, no car, no debt and no responsibilities. 1984-1990 Park City UT"

  4. #6904
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    11,365
    It’s all fun and games until you’re picking corn out of your washer’s filter.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  5. #6905
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    12,122
    Quote Originally Posted by nickwm21 View Post
    My “high end” Bidet seat with heated water, heated seat, adjustable pressure, heated blow dry was $350. People in this thread spend 20x that on bikes that get less seat time….


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    One thing that the high end ones require is power and/or hot water. The cheap ones are a five minute install.

  6. #6906
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by nickwm21 View Post
    My “high end” Bidet seat with heated water, heated seat, adjustable pressure, heated blow dry was $350. People in this thread spend 20x that on bikes that get less seat time….


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums
    Quote Originally Posted by Supermoon View Post
    One thing that the high end ones require is power and/or hot water. The cheap ones are a five minute install.
    and cost under $30.

    I have zero "construction" skills and installed a bidet on my own. The high end ones would have required I get some help. Also, I'm a renter so I was not about to spend that kind of coin on an upgrade to this house, even if it is an order of magnitude cheaper than my mt bike. But I will leave the budget bidet when I leave.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  7. #6907
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    Quote Originally Posted by Supermoon View Post
    One thing that the high end ones require is power and/or hot water. The cheap ones are a five minute install.
    Yeah, I’ve been wondering about the power for the heated ones. No outlets near my crappers, and retro-fit hard wiring…nope, not gonna try that.

  8. #6908
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
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    8,467
    Quote Originally Posted by Diamond Joe View Post
    Having never used a bidet, the question that comes to mind for me is, how do you then DRY said butthole after the event? Air dry? TP?
    My water is warm. A couple of seconds of drip dry here. Never even dab and it's not like Uranus traps a lot of water.... The blow dryer doesn't really do much.

    Best $250 I ever spent, trouble free for 6 years.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  9. #6909
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    Jan 2016
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    Greg_o
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    3,015
    For the cheap bolt-on one's, wouldn't the water be pretty cold, or does it have a reservoir were it can warm to room temp?

  10. #6910
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thaleia View Post
    For the cheap bolt-on one's, wouldn't the water be pretty cold, or does it have a reservoir were it can warm to room temp?
    It’s the same as the cold water from your tap

  11. #6911
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    6,247
    When is the last time you heard of somebody running over their own dog in their own driveway when they came home from work?

    Never. It never happens.

    Just drive into the goddamned garage. They’ll get out of the way.
    focus.

  12. #6912
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Cold water is refreshing. And soothing if you're feeling the aftermath of something you ate that was too spicy.

  13. #6913
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
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    1,594
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post
    When is the last time you heard of somebody running over their own dog in their own driveway when they came home from work?

    Never. It never happens.

    Just drive into the goddamned garage. They’ll get out of the way.
    One of my friends had an 8 m/o puppy run over by someone with the same thought. Gruesome.

  14. #6914
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    Quote Originally Posted by ghosthop View Post
    One of my friends had an 8 m/o puppy run over by someone with the same thought. Gruesome.
    Caveat: puppies and old dogs. If I’m creeping along at 5mph the dog is not going to just stand there.
    focus.

  15. #6915
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    PNW -> MSO
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    8,278
    best three billz I ever did spend:

    https://bidetking.com/products/alpha...et-toilet-seat


    edit, since this is the thread for splurgin on wives ... ladies like the "front feminine wash" for pre/post coitus etc.

  16. #6916
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
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    24,878
    Quote Originally Posted by Norseman View Post
    best three billz I ever did spend:

    https://bidetking.com/products/alpha...et-toilet-seat


    edit, since this is the thread for splurgin on wives ... ladies like the "front feminine wash" for pre/post coitus etc.
    Then why don't they call it the Bidet Queen. (And it looks exactly like the HD model and the Brondell model I mentioned. I'm getting the idea that all the bidet seats except Toto come from the same factory in Korea.)

  17. #6917
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,467
    Now $299. https://www.brondell.com/swash-se400...RoCxyoQAvD_BwE

    Chicks do indeed dig 'em. Truly a life changer along with the cordless vacuum. Which I suppose you could use to suck the few drops of water of your ass if it actually bothered you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles View Post
    If I lived in WA, Oft would be my realtor. Seriously.

  18. #6918
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Truckee & Nor Cal
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    16,402
    There are definitely some aftermarket attachment bidets that will heat up the water. But if it’s cold just go for it - think of it like a wim hof session for your asshole.

  19. #6919
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    I have cold water, it's not a problem. My butthole can take it.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  20. #6920
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
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    in a freezer in Italy
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    8,079
    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    My butthole can take it.
    Now there’s a sig for someone.

  21. #6921
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    I can still smell Poutine.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ötzi View Post
    Now there’s a sig for someone.
    Jer?

  22. #6922
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    710
    Quote Originally Posted by Mustonen View Post
    Caveat: puppies and old dogs. If I’m creeping along at 5mph the dog is not going to just stand there.
    Buddy of mine did this to his dog. Not a puppy or senile either.... I guess just a dumb fuck dog. Bro was crushed, it was really sad.

  23. #6923
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,786
    Quote Originally Posted by dannynoonan View Post
    Buddy of mine did this to his dog. Not a puppy or senile either.... I guess just a dumb fuck dog. Bro was crushed, it was really sad.
    Did he run over his goat and horse next?
    Is it radix panax notoginseng? - splat
    This is like hanging yourself but the rope breaks. - DTM
    Dude Listen to mtm. He's a marriage counselor at burning man. - subtle plague

  24. #6924
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Last Best City in the Last Best Place
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    8,218
    I don't know why anybody would assume a dog is going to be smart enough to get out of the way of a car. Some are, but lots aren't.

  25. #6925
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    Well. Fine. I guess I’m not speaking generally, or I shouldn’t.

    My dogs get out of the way when they’re milling around when you get home. I drive less than 5mph.

    But horror stories and tragedies abound.
    focus.

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