Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[interloper]

I guess I need to rethink those cows I have on order.

May the Lord be with you

[AlpiNord]

Been around Cows much. They are not stupid. They will roll over or jump cattle guards.

Gary Larson knows about cows. PSA: Beware of cows with tools.

https://www.google.com/search?client...WI-QMk16KCus7M


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[old goat]

So a doctor I used to work for--about as nerdy and city as you could imagine--invested in cattle--actual cattle--as a tax shelter. Didn't work out so well--the IRS disallowed the tax shelter and fined him, and it turned out the same cattle were sold to a lot of different people, so he lost the whole investment. It's always been my conviction that you shouldn't buy cattle unless you can ride them down, rope them, wrestle them to the ground, and throw your brand on them.

City slickers lshould stick to inanimate investments--like the scheme a nephrologist, who was already rich from owning dialysis centers, was pushing. A bunch of local docs lost hundreds of thousands investing in his can't lose scheme to rent VCR tapes out of convenience stores. (Dumb, but not quite as dumb as it seems--this was before DVDs and streaming.)

[muted reborn]

I'd love to see a cow do an army roll over a cattle guard to escape.

[EWG]

I'd love to see a cow do an army roll over a cattle guard to escape.

Especially if they then jumped up in a semi crouch afterwards and looked around to see who saw them.

Like Bluto in Animal House. Or Steve McQueen in the Great Escape.

[chicken feathers]

Bros a 4 year local, just get out of his way dammit!

I heard that type of talk so much this past winter from covid transplants.

“I’ve been here 3 years and have never seen this much snow here”

[PB]

Been around Cows much. They are not stupid. They will roll over or jump cattle guards.

Video please.

[old goat]

If a cow can jump over the moon surely they can jump over a cattle guard, or a gate, or over a tall building in a single bound.

[interloper]

https://www.facebook.com/BeefRunner/...40aB7S9Ucbxw6v


https://youtu.be/MkE1uUzq16U

[oftpiste]

Did he buy them from Cody Easterday?

Rancher Sentenced for Running $244 Million “Ghost Cattle ...Department of Justice (.gov)https://www.justice.gov › opa › rancher-sentenced-run...

So a doctor I used to work for--about as nerdy and city as you could imagine--invested in cattle--actual cattle--as a tax shelter. Didn't work out so well--the IRS disallowed the tax shelter and fined him, and it turned out the same cattle were sold to a lot of different people, so he lost the whole investment. It's always been my conviction that you shouldn't buy cattle unless you can ride them down, rope them, wrestle them to the ground, and throw your brand on them.

City slickers lshould stick to inanimate investments--like the scheme a nephrologist, who was already rich from owning dialysis centers, was pushing. A bunch of local docs lost hundreds of thousands investing in his can't lose scheme to rent VCR tapes out of convenience stores. (Dumb, but not quite as dumb as it seems--this was before DVDs and streaming.)

[m2711c]

ok, yeah. see, cow jumping videos are easy to come by, what teh skeptic’s is looking for specifically, is cow rollin’ videos…



their fetish is quite specific.




fact.

[PB]

ok, yeah. see, cow jumping videos are easy to come by, what teh skeptic’s is looking for specifically, is cow rollin’ videos…



their fetish is quite specific.




fact.

Eggzactly.

The jumpers were impressive, however. Design needs to be up graded and electrified.

[interloper]

I have failed in producing the roller video for the naysayers. I had a Red Limo that knew the maneuver. That is all.

[narc]

I'd love to see a cow do an army roll over a cattle guard to escape.

Sometimes, they just don't need to

[PB]

Queue the video of cyclists trying to cross train tracks at an oblique angle.

[chicken feathers]

x post from sprocket rockets rant thread:

I was eavesdropping on the recreational pissing contest between the boomer transplants next to us at the bar last night in Durango.

"We were just biking in Santa Fe, talk about mud season! A ride that should have been 2 hrs took 5! So much mud that our wheels wouldn't even spin through the frame!!!"

Then the conversation turned to snowbooting, an exciting new sport where you hike on specially groomed trails in the San Juans. Since the trails are groomed you don't need to own any expensive snowshoes or ski equipment.

"If you leave the trail you will do something known as postholeing..."

WTF does this have to do with biking I wonder?

"...I've seen people riding fat tire bikes on the groomed trails too, have you ever done that?"

Bingo!

"No, but people ride fat bikes on the groomed trails outside of Dolores"

"Where's that?"

And so on and so forth...

[old goat]

The opposite of "snowbooting"--snowshoeing on hard frozen Sierra cement. Very popular. Not sure why.

[Lvovsky]

It’s 2024. Gapers have been overly stoked but have not produced any worthwhile sayings so far this season.

I also came to realize that we are all gapers in one way or another.

[paulster2626]

It’s 2024. Gapers have been overly stoked but have not produced any worthwhile sayings so far this season.

I also came to realize that we are all gapers in one way or another.

I'm the best gaper on the mountain.

[Jax]

Mouth-breather dad on the gondy Jan 2nd: "I don't understand why it's so icy, they reported 28" over Christmas..."

[EWG]

Mouth-breather dad on the gondy Jan 2nd: "I don't understand why it's so icy, they reported 28" over Christmas..."

Also at the new gondi at the Boat, the next day, on our way up the 6 chair to grab one more run before they shut it down till night skiing,we spied a lonely snowboard riding back down all by its lonesome. Someone forgot their board at the top.

Bummer.

[fleaches]

Saw some people at Taos the other day with bike helmets instead of ski helmets. I'm actually surprised I haven't seen this before.

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[Laps]

We were talking to a new skier on the chair and he told us “I started skiing 2 years ago, and pizza just wasn’t for me, so I went straight to french fry.” I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair.


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[yeahman]

Saw some people at Taos the other day with bike helmets instead of ski helmets. I'm actually surprised I haven't seen this before.

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Here's something even crazier: Yesterday I saw pics of people riding the Discovery bike park in Montana. In January. This bike park is on a fucking ski area. A testament to how insanely dry it's been this season. BTW I think they were poaching. I don't think it's officially open.

[paulster2626]

We were talking to a new skier on the chair and he told us “I started skiing 2 years ago, and pizza just wasn’t for me, so I went straight to french fry.” I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair.


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Anyone I've seen who is a really good hockey player try skiing does this. Yes, that's 3 people, but still 100% success rate!

"If you can skate, you can ski."
-Paulster2626