I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[AK47bp]

Casper pillows are great.

[californiagrown]

For every pillow brought into our bedroom I buy "new" skis or bindings. I now have overlap in my quiver and 2 pairs of unmounted bindings just waiting for more pillows/skis. When she makes a snarky comment about all my skis and how people only need 1 pair I snap back about all her pillows and most people just need 1.

[evdog]

Start insisting that every pillow be on the bed while sleeping. And make sure they all get pushed on to her side during the night.

[Eluder]

So about every 3-4 months, my wife comes home with biodegradable trash bags. Every time it's like, oh yeah, these suck.

Also, we pay for recycling which is a huge pain in the ass and also just ends up in the landfill. Im not anti planet, but damn.

[Art Shirk]

For every pillow brought into our bedroom I buy "new" skis or bindings. I now have overlap in my quiver and 2 pairs of unmounted bindings just waiting for more pillows/skis. When she makes a snarky comment about all my skis and how people only need 1 pair I snap back about all her pillows and most people just need 1.

Ok I like this. This is progress.

But I’ll rightfully get shit on by the people who know me and know that my ski days have waned and I have a better chance using this method to buy tools.


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[plugboots]

Tools it is, then.

[californiagrown]

Tools it is, then.

The more garish, the better. She comes home with a grip of pillows... you come home with an old riding mower that needs fixing. Or a landscaping trailer with flat old tires that you park (permanently) in her spot in the driveway.

[muted reborn]

Ok I like this. This is progress.

But I’ll rightfully get shit on by the people who know me and know that my ski days have waned and I have a better chance using this method to buy tools.


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Soon you will have enough tools you can build a nice sitting bench to hold all her new pillows. DM notDjsapp for his bench plans when that happens.

[frorider]

Maybe someone could get rich with an array of ceiling mounted micro pulleys attached via fishing line to each decorative pillow. Once you hit the switch or engage Alexa / Siri, the fucking useless pillows are zipped up to the ceiling so that the bed and sofa can be used by humans.

Or a robot drone with a grappling hook swoops in and piles the pillows in the corner?

[skaredshtles]

Maybe someone could get rich with an array of ceiling mounted micro pulleys attached via fishing line to each decorative pillow. Once you hit the switch or engage Alexa / Siri, the fucking useless pillows are zipped up to the ceiling so that the bed and sofa can be used by humans.

Or a robot drone with a grappling hook swoops in and piles the pillows in the corner?

This is the kind of outside-the-box thinking that this world needs more of.

[Danno]

Maybe someone could get rich with an array of ceiling mounted micro pulleys attached via fishing line to each decorative pillow. Once you hit the switch or engage Alexa / Siri, the fucking useless pillows are zipped up to the ceiling so that the bed and sofa can be used by humans.

Or a robot drone with a grappling hook swoops in and piles the pillows in the corner?

seriously, that's genius.

[johnnyg82]

Maybe someone could get rich with an array of ceiling mounted micro pulleys attached via fishing line to each decorative pillow. Once you hit the switch or engage Alexa / Siri, the fucking useless pillows are zipped up to the ceiling so that the bed and sofa can be used by humans.

Or a robot drone with a grappling hook swoops in and piles the pillows in the corner?

Like modified pin collectors at bowling alleys?

[Art Shirk]

Well, if you’ve checked out the Shit I Built thread, the Rev is making knives and I’m pretty sure the next pillow acquisition is going to lead to me buying a forge and turning our garage into some sort of hotbed of molten metal and steel. That may quell the pillow purchases.

Genius idea Fro. They need to be less obvious as you said, but I could rig up a bunch of these pulleys. It would be a master stroke of passive aggressiveness if I actually did install one of these to just one pillow while she is out of the house one day. There is the “main” pillow that lives near the middle of the bed that would be perfect for this experiment.


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[AK47bp]

Magnetic pillows with an electromagnetic ceiling. Flick the switch and pillows get sucked to the ceiling. No unsightly strings.

[Art Shirk]

Frorider comes in hot with a shitless horse solution and then AK invents the car. Pure innovation.


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[teleee]

How many pillows does your husband use?

That’s some funny shit right there!


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[AK47bp]

Frorider comes in hot with a shitless horse solution and then AK invents the car. Pure innovation.


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The combined brainpower of this place could power a small lawnmower for hours.


Outstanding

[Gcooker]

Frorider comes in hot with a shitless horse solution and then AK invents the car. Pure innovation.


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When you’re ready to fire up your home forge and crucible furnace pop up north and say hi, my shop is 15 minutes from Blaine. I’ve got all the metals you might need to start out.

[Supermoon]

I like the idea of the claw machine robot better than pulleys personally. Could double as a sex swing hanger.

[frorider]

With either of my well researched solutions, the plan is a special mode where every night a couple of pillows are programmed to harass the excess pillow offender from above & fuck up their sleep.

Over time, this Plausible Deniability mode will lead the offender to propose that maybe there’s too many goddamn pillows.

[El Chupacabra]

Maybe someone could get rich with an array of ceiling mounted micro pulleys attached via fishing line to each decorative pillow. Once you hit the switch or engage Alexa / Siri, the fucking useless pillows are zipped up to the ceiling so that the bed and sofa can be used by humans.

Or a robot drone with a grappling hook swoops in and piles the pillows in the corner?

How about more like Hellraiser, lots of chains and hooks coming down from the ceiling?

[MakersTeleMark]

Stuff catnip in them and tell her she needs a cat.

[halliday]

Night lights. Every fucking wall socket in our house has to have a night light in it. I understand not wanting to walk into something and a little discrete illumination in the correct place goes a long way. Our house at night is lit up like the runways at JFK.

[bennymac]

^that shit is likely bad for your sleep - agree that some motion sensing subtle nightlight for any trip to the bathroom is a good idea. But fuck having any full time light in the bedroom.

[PB]

Night lights un-necessary when sitting to pee.