I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

**gravitylover** · 01-06-2021, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by PB

Ha! You poor fuckers are in for a treat when, post-menopause, they do a 180 and everything's TOOO FUCKING HOT.

OMG that's the truth. Opening bedroom windows when it's 28*, keeping the car window open a crack all the time because "I'm hot" or "I have to get out of here, it's so hot" when you're in a store or something. Pain in the ass...

**MontuckyFried** · 01-06-2021, 10:52 AM

SO many universal marital truths in this one:

**AK47bp** · 01-30-2021, 11:18 PM

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She simply loves to melt these

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**m2711c** · 01-30-2021, 11:49 PM

that's fuckin' funny.

**anotherVTskibum** · 02-01-2021, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

She simply loves to melt these

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I've suggested that perhaps they could be left somewhere other than a hot pan edge, but apparently that's crazy talk. As long as she doesn't actually manage to leave plastic on the pans, it's relatively low on the list of things I'm going to worry about.

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**AK47bp** · 02-01-2021, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by anotherVTskibum

I've suggested that perhaps they could be left somewhere other than a hot pan edge, but apparently that's crazy talk. As long as she doesn't actually manage to leave plastic on the pans, it's relatively low on the list of things I'm going to worry about.

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I only buy her metal handle utensils from now on. I tried and got her wood ones and they are also charred.

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**muted** · 02-01-2021, 12:25 PM

I can't figure out why you'd rest the handle instead of the other end on a pan edge, or is it placed across the pan so both ends are on the edges?

How does the hot melted plastic feel when she picks it up again, or does she do this when she is done cooking only?

**AK47bp** · 02-01-2021, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by muted

I can't figure out why you'd rest the handle instead of the other end on a pan edge, or is it placed across the pan so both ends are on the edges?

How does the hot melted plastic feel when she picks it up again, or does she do this when she is done cooking only?

The answers you seek my friend are none but an illusion.....

Ever watch a Roomba work?

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**Meadow Skipper** · 02-01-2021, 01:00 PM

My wife was always putting blazing hot pans on wood and plastic cutting boards. She also went thru a few tea kettles by forgetting she’d started making tea...until the smoke alarm went off.

I would never let her fire up the créme brûlée torch.

**Art Shirk** · 02-01-2021, 01:08 PM

The neverending food-related stuff I deal with is almost too much. My wife will throw something on the stove top on high and then just leave. Or toss something in the oven, actually set an alarm, and then just leave. I constantly have an internal radar that I have to be in tune with so the house doesnt burn down. I will turn off the stovetop for her and then just wait. Some 3 hours later she will ask what happened to the food on the stove. If it is the oven, I wait for the alarm to beep for a few minutes to see if it registers. Never does. So I shut it off. In the past, I didnt know there was something in there and it burnt. My wife, with an absolute straight face and with some anger, asked why the hell I didnt take it out. Because I didnt put it in there and didnt know about it wasn't the answer she enjoyed.

Don't get me started on putting food away/old food.

**char_** · 02-01-2021, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

Don't get me started on putting food away/old food.

I constantly find things like milk and cheese just hanging out on the countertop. It's not like they go bad when they get warm, right?

**yeahman** · 02-01-2021, 01:26 PM

The trick is to line up the handle of the utensil with the handle of the frying pan. Then the frying pan handle blocks the heat from the burner and prevents the handle of the utensil from getting hot enough to melt.

**stealurface831** · 02-01-2021, 01:28 PM

Originally Posted by yeahman

The trick is to line up the handle of the utensil with the handle of the frying pan. Then the frying pan handle blocks the heat from the burner and prevents the handle of the utensil from getting hot enough to melt.

yeah but that is too simple

**muted** · 02-01-2021, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by AK47bp

The answers you seek my friend are none but an illusion.....

Ever watch a Roomba work?

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Never watched a Roomba, do they cook better than your wife?

**AK47bp** · 02-01-2021, 01:32 PM

Originally Posted by yeahman

The trick is to line up the handle of the utensil with the handle of the frying pan. Then the frying pan handle blocks the heat from the burner and prevents the handle of the utensil from getting hot enough to melt.

You available to come to my house and educate my wife?

Hope you don’t like your face because it will be ripped off by the time your done.

[emoji15][emoji28]

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**riser4** · 02-01-2021, 02:19 PM

Or use a purposemade spoon rest.

**XXX-er** · 02-01-2021, 02:20 PM

mitigation of forgotten stuff with a systems approach

put whatever instrument you are using to cook with on a small plate, repurposing a chipped/cracked/ saucer missing its broken cup is fine

whatever needs to go back in the fridge always gets put in the same spot next to the fridge with the other stuff to be put in the fridge

if the light in the hood is on one of the burners or the stove is also on, the light gets turned off when the stove is shut down

edit: thats for me ^^ good luck with your wife

**skaredshtles** · 02-01-2021, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by riser3

Or use a purposemade spoon rest.

Or only use cast iron and stainless cookware and ONLY have full metal utensils.

**Caucasian Asian** · 02-01-2021, 02:28 PM

I'm so happy my wife does zero actual cooking.

She takes the lunch out of the fridge(that I put together for her) and warms it in the microwave. That's the extent of her cooking.

**muted** · 02-01-2021, 02:28 PM

I love you that you guys can't resist mansplaining to AK47 how to do things correctly.

**HD333** · 02-01-2021, 02:29 PM

Keeping with the kitchen theme.

My wife will do 90% of the work. She will wash and dry something, but then put it on the counter instead of in the cabinet where it belongs.

Or she will put stuff ON TOP OF the recycling bin....you are more than 90% there just open the fucking thing up and drop it in!!!

But I do love her.

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**plugboots** · 02-01-2021, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by XXX-er

mitigation of forgotten stuff with a systems approach

put whatever instrument you are using to cook with on a small plate, repurposing a chipped/cracked/ saucer missing its broken cup is fine

whatever needs to go back in the fridge always gets put in the same spot next to the fridge with the other stuff to be put in the fridge

if the light in the hood is on one of the burners or the stove is also on, the light gets turned off when the stove is shut down

edit: thats for me ^^ good luck with your wife

I was dying here until the edit. Yeah, sure... no-one here has ever tried to explain these things to their spouse. Ever.
AK, doesn't that red Core spoon have a little protrusion so the spoon rests up from the counter, so the spoon part doesn't touch the counter? Makes the burning even better.

**warthog** · 02-01-2021, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by Art Shirk

The neverending food-related stuff I deal with is almost too much. My wife will throw something on the stove top on high and then just leave. Or toss something in the oven, actually set an alarm, and then just leave. I constantly have an internal radar that I have to be in tune with so the house doesnt burn down. I will turn off the stovetop for her and then just wait. Some 3 hours later she will ask what happened to the food on the stove. If it is the oven, I wait for the alarm to beep for a few minutes to see if it registers. Never does. So I shut it off. In the past, I didnt know there was something in there and it burnt. My wife, with an absolute straight face and with some anger, asked why the hell I didnt take it out. Because I didnt put it in there and didnt know about it wasn't the answer she enjoyed.

Don't get me started on putting food away/old food.

God bless you. Minus the timeshare, we may have the same wife.
I recently figured out how to actually set the cook time on our double oven. It was pretty complex.
The other day, she set an Alex timer. The timer went off in my daughter's room. I turned it off. About 10 minutes later, she checked on the (almost) burnt pizzas. I explained that I had shut the alarm off in the back bedroom, not knowing what it was for. I then offered to show her how to set the cook timer so the oven shuts itself off automatically. She informed me that she knew how to do it and hates when I tell her how to do things. Hmmmm. I guess she just decided to do it differently this time. Strange.

**AK47bp** · 02-01-2021, 02:39 PM

I was able to study her in her home habitat now that I am working from home. Very interesting creature

She cooked a hamburger for lunch, I know this because she doesn’t know how to turn on the exhaust fan and the pungent meat stink creeped into my upstairs office.

Found this evidence