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Thread: I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

  1. 12-02-2019, 12:14 PM #926
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    Yer killing me.
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  2. 12-02-2019, 12:32 PM #927
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Ummm Hun, is it the watermelon leaking?

    Jesus Herculean Christ.

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  3. 12-02-2019, 12:48 PM #928
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    Can’t make this shit up folks.
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  4. 12-02-2019, 12:49 PM #929
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    Never in my life have a seen a watermelon foam and leak. WTF?
    “When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


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  5. 12-02-2019, 12:58 PM #930
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    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    Never in my life have a seen a watermelon foam and leak. WTF?
    Bought it 4 days ago from QFC. Weird.
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  6. 12-02-2019, 12:58 PM #931
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    It’s rabid. Be careful.


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  7. 12-02-2019, 01:00 PM #932
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    Probably rabies, be careful.


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  8. 12-02-2019, 01:00 PM #933
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Bought it 4 days ago from QFC. Weird.
    Had to look it up:

    Experts in this area considered that when a watermelon becomes over-matured and/or is fermenting, the pressure inside the watermelon increases and this may result in the "foaming" phenomenon. ... If "foaming" is observed in a watermelon, it is possible that the watermelon is already starting to rot.

    "Foaming" Watermelon
    “When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


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  9. 12-02-2019, 01:00 PM #934
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    How do you cream pie a watermelon? Asking for a friend.

    Re: Exel. My wife is an exel savant. Sends a spreadsheet to one of her minions with all the formulas etc already in place. Supposedly a half hour job that needs to be done right away. Numerous "Hows it goings" "when can we expect it" during the day etc (different city so can't just go check.
    End of day, Mrs. waxman losing her shit "what is taking so long?" "I'm doing the math."
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  10. 12-02-2019, 01:03 PM #935
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    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    Had to look it up:

    Experts in this area considered that when a watermelon becomes over-matured and/or is fermenting, the pressure inside the watermelon increases and this may result in the "foaming" phenomenon. ... If "foaming" is observed in a watermelon, it is possible that the watermelon is already starting to rot.

    "Foaming" Watermelon
    I love the advice in the article. “We recommend not eating the foaming watermelon”
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  11. 12-02-2019, 01:13 PM #936
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    I love the advice in the article. “We recommend not eating the foaming watermelon”
    Why not? It’s fermented. Watermelon wine!
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  12. 12-02-2019, 01:30 PM #937
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    That’s cute, your girlfriend isn’t familiar with excel formulas.

    But can she load a dishwasher?
    Did you have to go there?

    Get ready for this one..

    Her method of unloading the dishwasher is to take everything out and place it on the counter. Then proceed to put away everything from there.

    Re the Excel stuff - it was a funny story but I'm not being critical (too much) of anyone who doesn't know how it works. I only know it through work, probably wouldn't know it otherwise. Not everyone geeks out and does super nerdy shit like track their mileage on it..
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  13. 12-02-2019, 02:19 PM #938
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thaleia View Post
    Did you have to go there?

    Get ready for this one..

    Her method of unloading the dishwasher is to take everything out and place it on the counter. Then proceed to put away everything from there.

    Re the Excel stuff - it was a funny story but I'm not being critical (too much) of anyone who doesn't know how it works. I only know it through work, probably wouldn't know it otherwise. Not everyone geeks out and does super nerdy shit like track their mileage on it..
    How's your garbage disposal?
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  14. 12-02-2019, 02:48 PM #939
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    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    How's your garbage disposal?
    lol We don't have one, thankfully.
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  15. 12-02-2019, 03:39 PM #940
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thaleia View Post
    Get ready for this one..

    Her method of unloading the dishwasher is to take everything out and place it on the counter. Then proceed to put away everything from there.
    I think the key is that she unloads the DW
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  16. 12-02-2019, 03:55 PM #941
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thaleia View Post

    Her method of unloading the dishwasher is to take everything out and place it on the counter. Then proceed to put away everything from there.
    Before or after she makes you a sammich?
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.

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  17. 12-02-2019, 04:08 PM #942
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    mmmmmm, fermented watermelon juice!
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  18. 12-02-2019, 04:39 PM #943
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    Next time I’m in federal prison I’ll remember the watermelon hooch trick.
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  19. 12-02-2019, 05:50 PM #944
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    That made my afternoon.

    And QFC? In North Bend? On second thought, someone probably did fuck that watermelon.

    Safeway on the Ridge, FTW.
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  20. 12-02-2019, 06:22 PM #945
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    ..like two retards in a phonebooth trying to fuck a greased watermelon.
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  21. 12-02-2019, 06:33 PM #946
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    Once she foams, you are done.
    watch out for snakes
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  22. 12-02-2019, 07:45 PM #947
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    My wife just asked me in all seriousness if I could drive the girls somewhere on......July 30th 2020!?!?


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  23. 12-02-2019, 09:12 PM #948
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    Did you ask her what time?
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  24. 12-02-2019, 09:21 PM #949
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    I'll put a note in my calendar to check here around Aug 1, 2020 for the "my wife got pissed I forgot to pick up the girls".
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  25. 12-03-2019, 01:10 PM #950
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    Quote Originally Posted by HD333 View Post
    My wife just asked me in all seriousness if I could drive the girls somewhere on......July 30th 2020!?!?


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