where do these sexual assault people come from?

[MontuckyFried]

I think Hutash hit the nail on the head in that it's a tiny minority of pervs who hit huge numbers. I also can't think of any work place I've ever been in where I witnessed anything inappropriate. Personally, I always steered FAR clear of work related romance or lusty shenanigans since I never knew a woman who would be worth me losing my career over, despite a few of them making clear advances, which I found flattering but never was willing to reciprocate. Never known of any friends to do anything rapey either. Sucks that such a small minority of a-holes can do so much damage, without a care in the world of who they leave in their scummy wake.

Seems that this Weinstein PR nightmare may end up being good for society since it will hopefully keep guys on their toes and maybe encourage them to show some freaking respect. I think the days of the casting couch or power tripping perv-o bosses might just be over.

[KQ]

I think Hutash hit the nail on the head in that it's a tiny minority of pervs who hit huge numbers.

Wish this were true. I can attest that there are many, many pervs from all walks of life. BTDT.

[wyeaster]

there are obviously degrees of assholes and pervs but the slippery slope covers a lot more than 20%.

[that dude who did that thing]

I think the days of the casting couch or power tripping perv-o bosses might just be over.

I wish I could be that optimistic. I think we're seeing a bit of a turning point, but I also think it's a long way from over.

[KQ]

I wish I could be that optimistic. I think we're seeing a bit of a turning point, but I also think it's a long way from over.

Yup. They will just wait for the furor to die down then crawl out from under their rocks.

These women are "lucky". The men they accuse are famous and stand to lose a lot. They are getting the publicity for what happened to them but for each one of them there are thousands upon thousands who are molested, abused, harassed everyday with no recourse except he said/she said and no reporters to cover their stories. More often than not these women's claims are dismissed and they are made to feel worse than when they got up the nerve to say something. I tried to say something once and I was the one who was reprimanded and threatened with the loss of my job so now I just shrug and say "he's an ass and I'm better than that" of course I'm not in the working world anymore so I don't face on the job harassment but still, in my day, I learned my lesson. For me it wasn't worth it to speak up. Easier to walk away with my head held high.

Edit: I will add, in the work place I was never assaulted, just harassed. Outside the work place I did experience assault.


Edit-edit: Whoo boy... just remembering this one time I got called into the managing partner's office because some associate was evidently besotted with me. I knew him, enjoyed working/talking with him but wasn't attracted to him and didn't see anything on his part. Guy was married - had a kid with one on the way. Married men were invisible to me - cheating does not interest me. Anyhoo... evidently the other lawyers were concerned that because his wife was preggers and he wasn't getting any at home that I was a dangerous distraction so they told me I couldn't work with him anymore and I should also avoid talking to him. WTF? I was so forkin' pissed! Like people have no control over themselves! Like I would just spread my legs and say "tee-hee, okay!" regardless of my relationship or his marital status.

[hutash]

Wish this were true. I can attest that there are many, many pervs from all walks of life. BTDT.

True, the serious, serial types are low in number, but your run of the mill, sexual harasser, are dime a dozen. The guy who will grab ass, make inappropriate comments, just be a general purpose scum bag are all over the place.

[jono]

The line between pervy and predatory is going to be perceived differently by the aggressor than by the victim. Anyone who's put in a position of having to respond to unwanted advances will feel more stress in the situation than the person making the advances. (Hence the courts' emphasis on keeping people from having to deal with this in the workplace.) There are people out there who will "risk" an unwanted advance in vein hope, but who have no interest in forcing themselves on someone. That's likely the difference in perception between men and women: if you're being made to respond to someone who has the ability to make your life miserable and this happens a lot it might seem like 20-50% of men would force themselves on women if they could get away with it. But to Dexter's original point, it is only a very small number of men who could actually find any pleasure in forcing themselves on another person. The difference between that kind of deviant and a clueless ass with boundary issues may not always be as obvious to the women they try to make a move on as it would be to their male friends who would not put the clueless guy among the rapist set.

[wooley12]

KQ, those guys from work who were concerned knew that all men are sexual harassers and all men know a few men that are MCP sexual predators. Male Chauvinist Pigs with no respect for women as people.

[KQ]

KQ, those guys from work who were concerned knew that all men are sexual harassers and all men know a few men that are MCP sexual predators. Male Chauvinist Pigs with no respect for women as people.

You could have something there. I do know that this individual was devoted to his wife and family (Catholic like myself and a former Army Ranger) and I believe he was as upset about it as I was (he was spoken to also). We were friends and enjoyed talking but other people totally ruined it for us because they had pervy thoughts. I think we were both embarrassed that people thought something was going on or might happen. Funny thing is that the partner who called me in to tell me tried to get with me several years later - a married man with children no less. Guess he knew what he was talking about when he accused the other guy.

[Kinnikinnick]

Funny thing is that the partner who called me in to tell me tried to get with me several years later - a married man with children no less. Guess he knew what he was talking about when he accused the other guy.

I think that you found the true motivation behind it right there. He was trying to mark you as his territory.

[SkiCougar]

story up on msn.com currently that jenny McCarthy went in for a part on a steven seagal movie and walk out after being asked to show her breasts by steven.

what a freaking loser !

despite the fact that if you want to see any part of jenny McCarthy, you can buy it off of playboy or probably find it for free as she did her playboy stuff quite a long time ago, you're freakin' steven seagal !

if you cannot get jenny McCarthy on your own, without a movie part; it's her loss (well, was her loss; he's over the hill now; but I suppose he can probably get some Russian girls to drop their tops if he tells them he's got a movie going on now that he lives there.)

[wooley12]

There ya go KQ. Thanks for the validation of my theory. Funny how that theme of "Accuse others of what you yourself are guilty" aka "Art of the Deal" shows itself to be a tenet of the guilty.

[wooley12]

Skicougar in unable to see the difference between the tits he sees in the NSFW thread and the tits he sees at work. Sounds about right.

[TahoeJ]

KQ, those guys from work who were concerned knew that all men are sexual harassers and all men know a few men that are MCP sexual predators.

Umm... All men are not sexual harassers... you sound like you're projecting to maybe excuse some of your own behavior? Or was that a typo?

[wyeaster]

skouged it

[wyeaster]

omnipresent pornography and objectification at every level of society and commerce allows women to feel safe and respected by men as a general rule.

[wooley12]

Umm... All men are not sexual harassers... you sound like you're projecting to maybe excuse some of your own behavior? Or was that a typo?

It's a matter of degree. Depends on place, relationship, tone, etc. Thinking like an adult is hard. Do I need to give you examples? I think that I'm kidding around when I say to the pizza shop girl "Where do you hide your stick? You must need one to beat off all the men that want a date." yet it could be seen by the lady as harassment. So my wife tells me. In another situation I said "Nice tits" to someone I knew and it got a laugh and a kidding poke in the arm by the woman.

[jono]

I see I misread you the first time when I assumed that you meant they "knew" all men were sexual harassers. Not everything you know is actually true.

[wooley12]

I cannot know what others assume.

Sent from my E6782 using TGR Forums mobile app

[frorider]

Like many here, I work in a corporate environment where the culture strongly leans against obvious examples of harassment or assault. Eg I’ve been to many company Xmas parties or whatever, and no one would risk being ‘that guy’ in front of everyone.

But this whole discussion isn’t really about the fucked up companies where women are in a frat boy gone wild atmosphere of strip clubs on the company AMEX etc. It’s more about women being made uncomfortable 1:1 in the stairwell or somewhere sorta private. So you and might think Damn I can’t picture more than 1% of our employees pulling this shit but those guys are probably too stealthy for us to know about, even if we have many female close friends at work

Btw Benny I gotta correct you on the Louis C.K. thing. The point is that he has ALREADY worked in the ‘I’m a loser / masturbator’ routine into his act, many times. In the rear view mirror, it’s like he’s trying to further humiliate the women in comedy he humiliated in private.

[cloudpeak]

Wish this were true. I can attest that there are many, many pervs from all walks of life. BTDT.

Word.

I have experienced this at the office and in day to day life. When I ski by myself, I have experienced inappropriate pervy comments on the ski lift. I hate riding the lift alone and having some guy get on the lift with me. Often, a guy will think this is a great opportunity to say something creepy. I usually change to a different part of the mountain after that and keep an eye out for the pervert in case he has followed me.

It it sounds weird, but this happens at least once every season.

[wyeaster]

Word.

I have experienced this at the office and in day to day life. When I ski by myself, I have experienced inappropriate pervy comments on the ski lift. I hate riding the lift alone and having some guy get on the lift with me. Often, a guy will think this is a great opportunity to say something creepy. I usually change to a different part of the mountain after that and keep an eye out for the pervert in case he has followed me.

It it sounds weird, but this happens at least once every season.

jesus i don't know why this didn't occur to me. i hardly talk to anybody on the lift. totally predictable and horrible.

[jono]

I cannot know what others assume.

Nor what they "know." But your point is valid: giving the benefit of the doubt is increasingly hazardous. Moreso for whoever does it last, I guess.

[Art Shirk]

I'm not surprised by powerful men preying on the less powerful. But what is surprising is how many of these assholes seem to love to beat off in front women. Just fuckin weird.

Here's my two cents on this and its backed by a good friend who I would say is a very recognizable B lister in Hollywood who has hooked up with many A listers. Before any of these stories came out, she shared that this whole masturbation thing was a trend she experienced. She said that outwardly, these people were seemingly confident ladies men but once behind closed doors, they were amazingly insecure and lacked the same sexual relationship lens most "normal" people had crafted. Add insecurity to being used to getting what they want, and you get weird masturbation sessions where there is some forced outlet for the person but they don't undergo any real rejection or connection and hey, at the end of the day, no one can say I truly did anything too bad if it came out because I just masturbated like the rest of the world. I've got some great ideas for who will be the next guy under the bus.

[The AD]

As men I think we need to make a better effort to absolutely make it clear that we won't tolerate sexual harassment, assault or even "jokes" about it. Billy Bush should have shut down Trump's "grab them by the pussy" comment, but instead he egged him on and that gives tacit approval to the assaulter. This kind of thing is not a joke.