where do these sexual assault people come from?

[Bromontana]

I'm so beta

Makes sense. Lots of frat boys are too, hence the whole will-pledge-for-friends thing.

[buttahflake]

Huh? You have trouble conveying yourself. Say something, guy.
Don't be a passive/aggro douche. You don't like me, I don't like you.
No biggie

[splat]

where do these sexual assault people come from?

Sexual assaults?

[Game Over]

Makes sense. Lots of frat boys are too, hence the whole will-pledge-for-friends thing.

Yup.

Alpha
Beta
Zeta

[Bromontana]

Nothing screams beta like the insecure shriek of an abrasive nothing.

"Im smaht too!"
-Fredo

[Game Over]

Shit good call

[buttahflake]

Yeesh, struck a bone. It's okay, guy.
Read a Book

[alias_rice]

I'm not surprised by powerful men preying on the less powerful. But what is surprising is how many of these assholes seem to love to beat off in front women. Just fuckin weird.

[Bromontana]

Isn't the beatoff observatory thing kind of subservient?

[alias_rice]

Isn't the beatoff observatory thing kind of subservient?

That's probably as good an explanation as anything.

[splat]

Fuckin Charlie Sheen is far worse than Harvey Weinstein.
Major shit on that douchebag is surfacing.

[Dexter Rutecki]

See below:



I'm guessing you give off a vibe of respectability that tells people you would not approve of such behavior so they keep themselves in check around you.

Yeah, I think there is something to that, and that had actually occurred to me--just felt like my rant was already too long. But it's a fact that if I found out about something like this I wouldn't wait a second to report it. People who would do such things might realize that I would be more than likely to not keep quiet. Losing a job or something really wouldn't mean anything to me compared to walking around knowing about this.

Anyway, what a fucking world. It's kind of depressing.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Fuckin Charlie Sheen is far worse than Harvey Weinstein.
Major shit on that douchebag is surfacing.

I'm not sure I would say that fucking one is worse than the other, I wouldn't fuck either.

[Game Over]

I'm not sure I would say that fucking one is worse than the other, I wouldn't fuck either.

Well we know for sure one has full blown aids

[jono]

I'm guessing you give off a vibe of respectability that tells people you would not approve of such behavior so they keep themselves in check around you. As for the women not telling you not everyone wants to talk about it esp. with someone they respect and want to be respected by. Not that it is the woman's fault but many who are harassed fear being accused of bringing it on themselves.

Yup.

I've worked in two places with really inappropriate atmospheres. The way you comport yourself has a lot to do with how often you'll see it (moreso as a guy, I expect), but if people feel like they can get away with it or that it's generally accepted in the room the freak flags will fly. One former boss was rumored to be pressuring female employees for years. While he was (probably) the only one who ever acted predatory, the culture became increasingly toxic as other people lost any sense of professionalism. I was glad not to be in that office much, but from what I saw it seemed like the atmosphere created feedback that made the boss feel like his worldview was normal.

The other place is owned by the major offender--who is very well regarded in the community because he hides that when people are watching. Somewhat ironically, he refuses to hire any women if he can avoid it and apparently sees that as key to the company's survival. I don't know if this place might promote rape-level behavior, but it crosses some serious lines in a weird display of dominance through inappropriate sexualization of the workplace. In both cases I felt like people trapped in the culture headed down paths they wouldn't have otherwise. Taking the Billy Bush approach almost certainly encourages the problem.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Well we know for sure one has full blown aids

Isn't that like herpes now?

[Skidog]

Damnit after the first 3 lines I knew this would release the kraken.

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[muted]

A stat mentioned on the radio today was ~75% of victimizers have themselves been victims in some capacity.

I'm in LA right now, why aren't more women here grabbing my ass?

[TahoeJ]

I get where Dexter is coming from, though. I would be beyond shocked if anyone in my circle of friends engaged in this kind of behavior... except maybe one guy who is in finance (picturing him in his younger days), which tells you a lot. It's about the circles you travel in and the vibe you yourself give off. I'm in advertising but have been lucky to have always been at companies that are small and tight-knit and there's no way this could occur (especially with a gender equal power structure) but I will definitely come across a lot of sleaze-bag clients and agency types where it's not difficult to imagine them acting that way towards women. Frat boy types for sure, who apparently watched Mad Men and missed the point altogether. I fucking hate when I have to spend time with people like that and actively avoid it as much as I can.

[detrusor]

Does the collective think this is a bit of backlash from the left and the free pass our president got? I️ mean, these allegations are just the same...but with much worse fallout. Or, is it that the people in power to make these changes in response to the charges aren’t reprehensible shitbags, unlike me the gop?


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[frorider]

Does the collective think this is a bit of backlash from the left and the free pass our president got? I️ mean, these allegations are just the same...but with much worse fallout. Or, is it that the people in power to make these changes in response to the charges aren’t reprehensible shitbags, unlike me the gop?


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Nope. Whether it’s the Fox News staff abuse thing, or the Republican voter accusing Moore, etc etc, this feels more like women in general (regardless of their party affiliation or the abuser’s affiliation) feeling like their accusations are finally being taken seriously.

[that dude who did that thing]

Yup.

I've worked in two places with really inappropriate atmospheres. The way you comport yourself has a lot to do with how often you'll see it (moreso as a guy, I expect), but if people feel like they can get away with it or that it's generally accepted in the room the freak flags will fly. One former boss was rumored to be pressuring female employees for years. While he was (probably) the only one who ever acted predatory, the culture became increasingly toxic as other people lost any sense of professionalism. I was glad not to be in that office much, but from what I saw it seemed like the atmosphere created feedback that made the boss feel like his worldview was normal.

The other place is owned by the major offender--who is very well regarded in the community because he hides that when people are watching. Somewhat ironically, he refuses to hire any women if he can avoid it and apparently sees that as key to the company's survival. I don't know if this place might promote rape-level behavior, but it crosses some serious lines in a weird display of dominance through inappropriate sexualization of the workplace. In both cases I felt like people trapped in the culture headed down paths they wouldn't have otherwise. Taking the Billy Bush approach almost certainly encourages the problem.

^^^this, lots of this. And it's true not just about sexual misconduct, but other behaviors, too.

[that dude who did that thing]

Nope. Whether it’s the Fox News staff abuse thing, or the Republican voter accusing Moore, etc etc, this feels more like women in general (regardless of their party affiliation or the abuser’s affiliation) feeling like their accusations are finally being taken seriously.

^^ and this, also.

(just trying to give credit where it's due)

[Kinnikinnick]

Yeah, on the surface these things don't seem to happen much but thats just because people don't talk about it. The women/girls are terrified of the slut label and accusations that they encouraged it or invited it and the men know that its wrong so they won't let the cat out of the bag unless they are pretty sure they are in the right company.

I've been tertiarily involved with a few of these people/incidents .

One was a sports teammate and friend for a couple years in college. A female friend of ours was at a party at our house. She went down to my room to rest her head. I came down to check on her and he had followed her down there and was trying to "make a move" which she didn't want. When I asked him to leave my room, he attacked me. If I hadn't been there? Cut off contact with him after that but I found out from another girl years later that he was a serial force himself/date rapey guy.

Another time a female friend invited me to meet her for drinks. I showed up a bit later than she and another "friend" of hers were having their 2nd drink. She went in 20 minutes from normal to seeming totally wasted out of her mind, like as if she had had 9 or 10 drinks. Guy seemed creepy and started to get her to leave. I swooped in and took her out of the bar and walked her to her apartment. She kinda was coming on to me, but was SO WASTED. I got her inside and made her drink a couple glasses of water and into bed. Next day she called and asked what had happened, couldn't remember any of it. This was right before the whole date rape drug thing really became publicized but I'm pretty sure that guy slipped her one as a couple drinks should not have caused that behavior as she was a partier and knew how to handle her liquor. Probably should have thought to report it or something, but like many situations its just easier to brush it off since you don't know for sure.

Was another possible date rape drug incident where several of us went back to a guy's house after bars and he made up a cocktail for us all. Me and another guy wake up on the couches in the morning unable to remember anything (only time I have ever "blacked out") and the attractive girl is in his bedroom and seemed confused too.

Like many of these assault incidents with alcohol its murky and you're nominally friends with the guy. That's what these guys prey on - women AND men's reluctance to come to the worst conclusion and/or confront blurry and uncomfortable situations. Easier to just move on. Denial is a powerful and natural tool the brain uses to move on from shitty situations.

Its great that all these women are coming forward and helping us have these conversations. And its not just the women/girls that these men predators go after. A teacher at my elementary school who was also a boy scout leader was caught molesting boys and creating volumes of child pornography. Like the Weinsteins of the world he used his position of authority to corner these poor kids and get them to let him do his evil shit.

[riser4]

Let's face it, about 20% of men are pieces of shit.

Maybe more but I think the 80/20 rule may work here.

In my daughter's opinion its 100%. She tolerates me for some weird reason.