Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[old goat]

It happened a while ago, but...
The National Ski Patrols colors used to be blue and rust. My patrol used it for a long time. We finally changed to the new standard of red and black with the white first aid cross on our backs. Skip ahead...
Our Hill opens up for the year with 5 trails. A ton of patrollers are there, instructors and the local season pass holders. About 10 of us trollers are in line together and a teen girl says "Did the patrol get new uniforms?", the mom answered back "I didn't hear anything about that. I think there the Swiss national team."

I hope you guys thought quickly enough to start talking with German accents and calling each other German names.

[Vitamin I]

Best Gaper quote nowadays is always "Closed" and "Closed" and "Closed" signs by every pussy-ass American ski area's patroller crew trying to do "their best" to manage inbounds terrain. I am NOT trying to flame here. I see how the natural tendencies have devolved over recent years. History proves that this forum can influence change within 1-2 years in USA. And when JH is one of the worst offenders now inbounds, you KNOW no American ski area is doing their best in this topic. Maybe Candide's efforts in France can help Americans take the inbounds back.

[Vitamin I]

To be clear on my call-out: American Patrollers are the NEW gapers. Sorry boyz, I love & respect y'all, but this is how change happens.

[Benny Profane]

Best Gaper quote nowadays is always "Closed" and "Closed" and "Closed" signs by every pussy-ass American ski area's patroller crew trying to do "their best" to manage inbounds terrain. I am NOT trying to flame here. I see how the natural tendencies have devolved over recent years. I do NOT intend to flame here. History proves that this forum can influence change within 1-2 years in USA. And when JH is one of the worst offenders now inbounds, you KNOW no American ski area is doing their best in this topic. Maybe Candide's efforts in France can help Americans take the inbounds back.

Wait. JH is guilty of closing too much terrain? Really? Dude, I'm there for a few days, and, I'll tell ya, they really let a lot of people get into bad situations pretty easily.

[SkiBall]

Sandwiched between two (guessing, epic gear geeks). First guy starts saying how his mitts are too warm for today (its -3F). 2nd guy says "wow, those are nice mittens, blah blah blah" First guy " Had to special order these because they are not sold on the east coast. They are made for 20,000' and above, blah blah blah". Longest chair of the season.

Where do I find the altitude rating on my gloves? I have been looking for an hour already.

[Vitamin I]

Uh, I'm in JH right now on a roadtrip. Inbounds closures up the wazoo, on so much terrain that ANY non-suing mountain person could ski in their sleep...without risking slides or collisions in any possible gaper zones below.

Something's OFF. SO OFF that I must question myself... Maybe I'm the gaper??? Am I supposed to just violate every Closure and then buy the patrollers a beer when I get caught? Is this the Wild West in JH? Like in AK you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street in front of a cop, no prob?

No, no...seems like pussy-ass criteria for closing terrain in America. I just roadtripped Squaw to BigSky, who were also pussies about closures, but JH patrol WAY out-pussies BigSky in this topic.

JH, please step it up a notch! Burn your "Closed" signs. Buy some more "Extreme Caution!" signs or "You! Yes, you! Don't ski this line if you're gonna rely on patrol haul you out!". Then do your job, patrol, and haul the gaper bodies.

Who even likes JH inbounds with all the closures? Did Coombs just go OB every day to boycott all this inbounds closure shit? (Answer: JH patrol et al. drove him to AK, then to Euro).

"Swift, Silent, Closed." Step it up, pussies.

[GPP33]

Uh, I'm in JH right now on a roadtrip. Inbounds closures up the wazoo, on so much terrain that ANY non-suing mountain person could ski in their sleep...without risking slides or collisions in any possible gaper zones below.

Something's OFF. SO OFF that I must question myself..Maybe I'm the gaper??? Am I supposed to just violate every Closure and then buy the patrollers a beer when I get caught? Is this the Wild West in JH? Like in AK you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street in front of a cop, no prob?

No, no...seems like pussy-ass criteria for closing terrain in America. I just roadtripped Squaw to BigSky, who were also pussies about closures, but JH payrol WAY out-pussies BigSky in this topic.

JH, please step it up a notch!Burn your "Closed" signs. Buy some more "Extreme Caution!" signs or "You! Yes, you! Don't ski this line and don't make patrol haul you out!". Then do your job, patrol, and haul the gaper bodies.

Who even likes JH inbounds with all the closures? Did Coombs just go OB every day to boycott all this inbounds closure shit? (Answer: JH patrol et al. drove him to AK, then to Euro).

" Swift, Silent, Closed." Step it up, pussies.

I feel your pain but I suspect the ski patrol is simplify managing risk to be in line with the expectation set forth by their employer. Don't blame the boys in red and black for this, blame the lawyers and America's inability to take personal responsibility for their actions.

I do like the idea of a sign that just says "hey you, ya you. You're not good enough to ski here".

On a side note I was amazed how quick Breck was opening the ridge lines this year. They have been Johnny on the spot and we've had tons of options since early on this season.

[Vitamin I]

I respect patrollers, and I don't blame them directly, and I always shout out "Thanks for all your work!" as I pass by them. And I know the cop-out response to my complaints is always "Just go out of bounds." But instead, I'd like to see some improvement inbounds in USA. Why build a nice tram up great terrain if you're just gonna close it all? I think patrollers do indeed have some influence on their corporations' closure policies, if only patrollers would wake up and see how bad it has become.

Patrollers. I appreciate your warning signs. Please think of more alternatives other than "Closed". Like maybe "Open, but scary firm", or "Open, but dangerous ski mountaineering conditions", or whatever...

.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Uh, when you see something closed in Big Sky, it's for a good reason. I'm guess it's like that in Jackson too.
You wanna superman over a pile of rocks go right ahead. It's not a big year out west. You may have noticed. Go road trip it over to Rutland, VT. I'm sure K Mart has everything open. And hot Italian chicas from NYC and Boston!

[b0ardski]

I do like the idea of a sign that just says "hey you, ya you. You're not good enough to ski here".
me likey

[dark_star]

Uh, I'm in JH right now on a roadtrip. Inbounds closures up the wazoo, on so much terrain that ANY non-suing mountain person could ski in their sleep...without risking slides or collisions in any possible gaper zones below.

Something's OFF. SO OFF that I must question myself... Maybe I'm the gaper??? Am I supposed to just violate every Closure and then buy the patrollers a beer when I get caught? Is this the Wild West in JH? Like in AK you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street in front of a cop, no prob?

No, no...seems like pussy-ass criteria for closing terrain in America. I just roadtripped Squaw to BigSky, who were also pussies about closures, but JH patrol WAY out-pussies BigSky in this topic.

JH, please step it up a notch! Burn your "Closed" signs. Buy some more "Extreme Caution!" signs or "You! Yes, you! Don't ski this line if you're gonna rely on patrol haul you out!". Then do your job, patrol, and haul the gaper bodies.

Who even likes JH inbounds with all the closures? Did Coombs just go OB every day to boycott all this inbounds closure shit? (Answer: JH patrol et al. drove him to AK, then to Euro).

"Swift, Silent, Closed." Step it up, pussies.

This deserves its own thread.

[old goat]

Uh, I'm in JH right now on a roadtrip. Inbounds closures up the wazoo, on so much terrain that ANY non-suing mountain person could ski in their sleep...without risking slides or collisions in any possible gaper zones below.

Something's OFF. SO OFF that I must question myself... Maybe I'm the gaper??? Am I supposed to just violate every Closure and then buy the patrollers a beer when I get caught? Is this the Wild West in JH? Like in AK you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street in front of a cop, no prob?

No, no...seems like pussy-ass criteria for closing terrain in America. I just roadtripped Squaw to BigSky, who were also pussies about closures, but JH patrol WAY out-pussies BigSky in this topic.

JH, please step it up a notch! Burn your "Closed" signs. Buy some more "Extreme Caution!" signs or "You! Yes, you! Don't ski this line if you're gonna rely on patrol haul you out!". Then do your job, patrol, and haul the gaper bodies.

Who even likes JH inbounds with all the closures? Did Coombs just go OB every day to boycott all this inbounds closure shit? (Answer: JH patrol et al. drove him to AK, then to Euro).

"Swift, Silent, Closed." Step it up, pussies.

I think they should let you ski anywhere you want.
Around here two patrollers have died in the last few years trying to open terrain for the likes of your ignorant ass.

[Meadow Skipper]

Uh, I'm in JH right now on a roadtrip. Inbounds closures up the wazoo, on so much terrain that ANY non-suing mountain person could ski in their sleep...without risking slides or collisions in any possible gaper zones below.

Something's OFF. SO OFF that I must question myself... Maybe I'm the gaper??? Am I supposed to just violate every Closure and then buy the patrollers a beer when I get caught? Is this the Wild West in JH? Like in AK you can drive the wrong way down a one-way street in front of a cop, no prob?

No, no...seems like pussy-ass criteria for closing terrain in America. I just roadtripped Squaw to BigSky, who were also pussies about closures, but JH patrol WAY out-pussies BigSky in this topic.

JH, please step it up a notch! Burn your "Closed" signs. Buy some more "Extreme Caution!" signs or "You! Yes, you! Don't ski this line if you're gonna rely on patrol haul you out!". Then do your job, patrol, and haul the gaper bodies.

Who even likes JH inbounds with all the closures? Did Coombs just go OB every day to boycott all this inbounds closure shit? (Answer: JH patrol et al. drove him to AK, then to Euro).

"Swift, Silent, Closed." Step it up, pussies.

Here's a picture of Kachina Peak, Taos, on Monday after a bunch of assholes like you on Sunday booed the patrol for not opening stuff fast enough for their tastes.

(Picture by JBella)

So, go fuck yourself. What the fuck do you know about opening terrain?

When you asked, "Maybe I'm the gaper?" I'd say that you're on the right track.

[Benny Profane]

I'm just pretty amazed at the bad shit my buddy was thinking about doing today off that wall at Targhee, before we studied it from afar. And, it was open.

[Vitamin I]

I think you guys are talking about avy control and posting photos of rad terrain.

I'm talking about JH closing pretty low-risk terrain. Like this photo, taken today in the Central Chute zone, 2 days after powder day, of a closure of 2 short paths on either side of a tree, with a tiny bit of rock & dirt to avoid. The gaper in photo violated the closure, and he handled the dirt/rocks and maybe a patch of firm-ish snow without much trouble. I did not violate that closure---I skied around a different way.

[Benny Profane]

They were doing you a favor. The stuff in the shade was a lot softer and funner.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Benny moved to CO to go skiing in Jackson?
$$$$
Solid work.

[NW_SKIER]

Benny moved to CO to go skiing in Jackson?
$$$$
Solid work.

It only makes sense because its tgr

[TBS]

This deserves its own thread.

Agreed.
Vitamin I, tell us more about your background in Avalanche safety. It must be damn extensive for you to know more than the collective wisdom of JHMR patrol.

[TahoeJ]

I think it's pretty obvious Vitamin is taking about areas being closed for shit-fuck conditions, not when there's avy danger.

On the other hand, I'm sure rescuing people who are in way over their heads over and over again gets old quick, so hard to blame patrol. Anyway, enough of this, let's get this thread back on track...

[MMP]

Benny, I'm at Breck, let's ski!

[PNWbrit]

Benny moved to CO to go skiing in Jackson?

You have to go to where it's not snowing dood.

[Meadow Skipper]

I think it's pretty obvious Vitamin is taking about areas being closed for shit-fuck conditions, not when there's avy danger.

On the other hand, I'm sure rescuing people who are in way over their heads over and over again gets old quick, so hard to blame patrol. Anyway, enough of this, let's get this thread back on track...

Well, what I think it's obvious that Vitamin I is talking about is summarized pretty nicely by this:

To be clear on my call-out: American Patrollers are the NEW gapers. Sorry boyz, I love & respect y'all, but this is how change happens.

So, he can go fuck himself.

[snoqpass]

Well, what I think it's obvious that Vitamin I is talking about is summarized pretty nicely by this:

So, he can go fuck himself.

He is quite the inbounds rebel

[stuckathuntermtn]

Because he's all about that (skiable) base
bout that (skiable) base
no rebels.


Guy today out at some marginally rideable trails insisted that in Great Falls, because of all the cacti, people ride solid rubber tires. I mentioned my tires were tubeless and he asked why there were valve cores is what preempted him to tell me this. Solid rubber tires. I think you'd need a time machine for that.