Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Idyllwild]

Pre trip info session about guiding a group and when assessing the experience of everyone we were discussing last cert dates, levels, where people have taken the course at, etc...

So when we get to this one old dude and he says "level five"

We say well sir they generally go up to 3.

He says "back in my day they went up to five" in the most grizzled smokers voice imaginable.

It was hysterical and had everyone rolling!!!

[Garth Bimble]

well this thread has gone to shit -- could there just be separate threads, like

Today, I showed up a pathetic novice -- I rule

Or

Today I tolerated a pathetic novice-- I'm a saint

or

Today I made a comment a pathetic novice did not understand -- I'm so Ironic

or

Today I saw a pathetic guy in a stupid outfit -- I'm so better dressed

or

Today I heard pathetic teenagers saying adolescent things -- I'm so grown up

Today I shared a chair with Lexi. She was 5 and from the Chicago area. She was wearing one of those cute little helmet covers with the things sticking out of it. We had a nice little chat about how her day was going. She shared with me that she really liked skiing but her lips were a little dry, so her mommy gave her some chap stick. It was nice meeting Lexi on the chair today.

Fucking happy now?

[raueda1]

Guy standing by ski patrol shack at the top of Collins: "How do I get to Alta?"
me: "This is Alta."
guy: "Wow. I must have made a wrong turn somehow."

[LiveLarger]

Park-rat-1: "You don't want skis to come off, so you better crank'em all the way up"
Park-rat-2: "oh?"
Park-rat-1: "Yeah, but make sure you loosen them in the summer or they will go soft and start comming off next winter"

[DropCliffsNotBombs]

Park-rat-1: "You don't want skis to come off, so you better crank'em all the way up"
Park-rat-2: "oh?"
Park-rat-1: "Yeah, but make sure you loosen them in the summer or they will go soft and start comming off next winter"

Rat-1 is right.

[DropCliffsNotBombs]

Standing around waiting for rope drop to access new terrain a guy notices an Avalung pack and asks his buddy what the heck it is. His buddy replies, "that inflates with air when you get hit by an avalanche and then you can breathe the air from the bubble while you get rescued."
He was almost correct but he was crossing the two technologies.

[Name Redacted]

Guy at the top of Pali asked me if the patrol storage shed was the bathrooms. Should have said yes.

[Lindahl]

Good to be back in CO. A few good ones lately...

Heard a guy snowboarder explaining how to ride the Tbar at Breck to his girlfriend snowboarder. Was telling her that you just hold on to it and the bar should barely be touching you. Watched him eat shit 1/3rd of the way up, once his arms got tired and he started flailing, trying to find other ways hold on. Girlfriend gets to the top, no problem. Classic.

Saw a girl on the Vail gondola with a 1'-2' chain of lift tickets attached to her pants. She was hot and flirty, and pretended like she didn't have a boyfriend, though, so she gets a free pass. I know, pics or it didn't happen.

Heard a couple guys in the poma lift to East Vail talking about how they should put a lift in Mushroom bowl and hold freeride competitions there. The bowl is about 500' vertical of 35 degrees with a single cliff band most of the way around. Fun to ski, but an absolute braindead choice for a competition.

[Brianskis]

[stuckathuntermtn]

Heyoh!

[east or bust]

TOFTB...

[balefulstare]

Quite a few years ago a buddy and I were cruising by a patch of really low angle moguls and this family was waiting at the bottom of said patch while sweatshirt & jean wearing dad was showing off his skills. He cuts between two large ones and directly after exclaims "Yeaaahh, in the groove!" his kids looked so embarrassed, needless to say that was our mantra for the rest of the season.

[WTF is dat]

"Hammering in Summit County. This is a big one." Benny Profane


Next morning snow reports:
Abasin - 3 inches
Keystone - 2 inches

[shafty85]

Not sure how this wound up in here, but I approve and would suggest the thread has improved 100%. This girl is far sexier than 99% of the girls posted in the padded room

[pfluffenmeister]

if i saw her on the mountain with form like that, i would be agape.

[old goat]

Good to be back in CO. A few good ones lately...

Saw a girl on the Vail gondola with a 1'-2' chain of lift tickets attached to her pants. She was hot and flirty, and pretended like she didn't have a boyfriend, though, so she gets a free pass. I know, pics or it didn't happen.

And you said," I'd like to punch your tickets. All of them." Right?

[Brianskis]

if i saw her on the mountain with form like that, i would be agape.

Quite agape indeed!

This was Mt Bachelor, dealer demo days. This lady, along with her whole crew from a shop whose name will remain anonymous parked next to me and proceeded to roll out of their van around 9:15. All six with beers in hand, and not their first of the day by any means.

About an hour later we were sitting at the top of Red Chair waiting for some of our crew and she gets off, she lifts up her shirt and yells the following..

"Mt Bachelor demo, fuck yeah, party!"

She then screams the name of the shop she works for, it's location, and how much it rules...

Chased her down for the couple photos. She proceeded, with only stickers as protection, to crash her way down the groomer, leading to further picture opportunities while we stopped to help gather her gear...

Brutah gets him some!



And another

[peck257]

/\/\/\/\ Nothing like a chic who knows how to shred

[zartagen]

Today I saw a ski instructor leading his clients to ski out-of-bounds avalanche terrain with a danger rating of considerable. I was hiking up to ski another line and asked the clients if they knew where they were he was taking them. They confirmed my suspicions, and I told them that they may not want to follow the instructor to ski there given the danger, especially without avalanche rescue equipment. I went on my way and hope they made the right choice.

Not really a quote, but the instructor belongs in this thread.

[MakersTeleMark]

Today I saw a ski instructor leading his clients to ski out-of-bounds avalanche terrain with a danger rating of considerable. I was hiking up to ski another line and asked the clients if they knew where they were he was taking them. They confirmed my suspicions, and I told them that they may not want to follow the instructor to ski there given the danger, especially without avalanche rescue equipment. I went on my way and hope they made the right choice.

Not really a quote, but the instructor belongs in this thread.

Where was this?

[pfluffenmeister]

^^^ yeah, that's no good.

[old goat]

/\/\/\/\ Nothing like a chic who knows how to shed

FIFY

[shroom]

oddly enough, my buddy just wandered over for a bowl and off-hand mentioned that the manger of his shop just got fired today for the activities depicted above. it might be worth taking those down; we've come full circle here.

[Benny Profane]

From a chair behind me. A very loud young lady to her snowboarder dude companions:

"I don't know where I'm going (the next run), but where ever it is, it's going to be awesome."

[MakersTeleMark]

From a chair behind me. A very loud young lady to her snowboarder dude companions:

"I don't know where I'm going (the next run), but where ever it is, it's going to be awesome."

And, that's why, Benny, you are the gaper.