Coaching young kids sports teams

[4matic]

actually they don't - is that a problem? why would I coach kids in something I don't like? So I can be frustrated and an asshole like booner and turn kids off?

I'm not following the logic. You never played team sports for any length of time and don't care for them. That's fine. I'm just not sure how you make the determination of what is correct in terms of discipline requirements for a team environment.

[DBdude]

you forget, booner, that your detractors are in the 0.001%ile where natural athletic gifts are concerned, and they are so intuitive in everything that nothing needs explanation, they grasp all subtleties immediately as long as they're awake, and sometimes even when they're not. they excelled in everything they ever did without ever talking to, watching, listening to anyone -- and they hit such excellence within minutes of first attempt.

hell, I'd scoff too if that were me

what ever...

I am not athletically gifted... thank god, those few I have met that truly are disproportionately assholes

[booner]

my apologies

smoking bowls and drinking with my ski coach prepared me for life...i mean to be honest, look where you live. I'm from NY and have family an hour down the road where you live. I've lived in VT and Washington state since my mid 20's and that is because of skiing.

I did the same too...except with golf pros. That certainly did prepare me as well

I also lived in WA for a long time and moved back here simply because it's a great place to raise a family and houses are 50% of what they are out there. I certainly miss going to Stevens all the time, but not the traffic and cost of living


I totally get that the people that aren't into team sports are going to think team sports are stupid. But guess what?...most of the kids out there with me love it. They look forward to being out there more than anything else. That's how I was, and all the kids that ended up playing with me later on were to...it was the greatest time of our lives to be out there and we all couldn't get enough of it. Shit...we all STILL play. matter of fact I play tonight and can't wait to get out there. It's not for everyone

The kids that obviously don't love it, I wish would never show up again...I feel bad for them and have some not so pleasant feelings towards their parents that make them do it. I only have one of these kids and I'd like to smack the shit out of his parents, but I can't....cause they don't even come into the rink

[DBdude]

I'm not following the logic. You never played team sports for any length of time and don't care for them. That's fine. I'm just not sure how you make the determination of what is correct in terms of discipline requirements for a team environment.

eight year olds don't need discipline in sports - they are babies

[creaky fossil]

what ever...

I am not athletically gifted... thank god, those few I have met that truly are disproportionately assholes

I'm empathetic to a degree, though a very minor degree. You see, I am apathetic about athletic apathy.

Maybe it's about whether that drive comes from the kid participating, or is foist on the kid by a parent who wants the kid to be otherwise -- and the poor coach is left in the middle?

eight year olds don't need discipline in sports - they are babies

If that's their level of interest, why the uniforms, coaches, lined fields, scheduled practices, scheduled games? Why not just play for fun after school? Gosh, such challenging issues!

HEY! BOBBY! YOU OVER THERE, THE SMITH BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH SUCH INTENSITY! YOU'RE INTIMIDATING MY SON!

[DBdude]

I did the same too...except with golf pros. That certainly did prepare me as well

I also lived in WA for a long time and moved back here simply because it's a great place to raise a family and houses are 50% of what they are out there. I certainly miss going to Stevens all the time, but not the traffic and cost of living


I totally get that the people that aren't into team sports are going to think team sports are stupid. But guess what?...most of the kids out there with me love it. They look forward to being out there more than anything else. That's how I was, ad all the kids that ended up playing with me later on were to...it was the greatest time of our lives to be out there.

The kids that obviously don't love it, I wish would never show up again...I feel bad for them and have some not so pleasant feelings towards their parents that make them do it. I only have one of these kids and I'd like to smack the shit out of his parents, but I can't....cause they don't even come into the rink

I agree, I had an altercation with a coach and pulled my kid. I think it is in this thread. I go to the events. I know I am not a coach and my kids don't really like team sports and I am sure they pick it up from me. It is what it is. I never push them. No you started it finish it.

My oldest is 12, built like me. 95 percentile height, 50 percentile weight. His basketball coach keeps asking him to come out again. He played four years after school, one year AAU.

He hated it. He is not aggressive with his body and tenative (like I was) and grew to hate being told to stand under the basket and rebound and pass the ball then run to the other end, stand under the basket and rebound and then pass the ball.

nobody ever passed back and he knew why and it bugged him and he walked from the game. he will never play again. same shit in soccer. now he runs cross country and is looking forward to track and we ski in the winter.

[DBdude]

I'm empathetic to a degree, though a very minor degree. You see, I am apathetic about athletic apathy.

Maybe it's about whether that drive comes from the kid participating, or is foist on the kid by a parent who wants the kid to be otherwise -- and the poor coach is left in the middle?



If that's their level of interest, why the uniforms, coaches, lined fields, scheduled practices, scheduled games? Why not just play for fun after school? Gosh, such challenging issues!

HEY! BOBBY! YOU OVER THERE, THE SMITH BOY! STOP PLAYING WITH SUCH INTENSITY! YOU'RE INTIMIDATING MY SON!

exactly - it's for fun after school - that is the level he plays at - and some of the coaches don't get it. no club team - I wouldn't allow it - he is too young

[Smoova]

I abhor team sports and it is from my experiences in little league and organized hockey. I was good at high school soccer and never got game time because of politics and poor coaching because nobody could pass the ball.

yes for me team sports was the worst experience of adolescence - no doubt

It's interesting how different peoples' experiences can be - I was a relatively poor youth player and was cut from or had limited playing time on competitive teams in several different sports. While I was pretty sore at the time, those experiences, and the motivation to improve that they provided, proved invaluable as I grew older. That said, I never had a coach who taught me how to drink beer and smoke weed.

[creaky fossil]

exactly - it's for fun after school - that is the level he plays at - and some of the coaches don't get it.

I'm not sure it's the coaches who don't get it.

it sounds like your son isn't a universal athlete -- whether by talent, or by inclination, it doesn't matter. so what? he found some things he likes. if the coaches wanted him to play with more aggression or assertiveness than he has, or could muster, that's not the coaches' fault. the coach wants someone suitable for the team, he's not a life coach or community therapist who's there to rehabilitate timid kids through athletic participation. you sorta have to have the ground level skills and drive to play if you want to play in organized fashion, and if you don't, lots of opportunity to do things like shoot baskets casually.

this reminds me of parents who expect schools to be parents, this stuff about "coaches asking too much" when they're only seeking basic competence/drive, it's asking them to help your kids learn to be self-confident. that's pretty much your job, not theirs.

[DBdude]

I'm not sure it's the coaches who don't get it.

I get it really well asshole. you were the kind of cunt i despised and still do

[Timberridge]

not quite hitting the right notes there, the illogic dominates
unless you're aping stuckie, in which case, bullseye

Key of C. And early onset Alzheimers.

Unlike DBdude I have no axe to grind against team sports. I coach 9-10 yr olds in baseball. I see the drill sergeant approach (which works with older kids) backfire with this age group. They don't have the attention spans. Plus they (and their parents) outnumber you: 12-13 kids to 1-2 coaches on a typical baseball team. Good luck once that battle starts.

[creaky fossil]

I wasn't arguing for any particular stereotyped approach

kids who come to organized sports with no sense of organization, they're going to be uncoachable, shouldn't parents be helping their kids with social skills like ...um... being respectful? you don't have to put your kid in organized sports, why make organized sports become disorganized sports? because now it's a babysitter not an athletic experience? if it's just a babysitter, why are so many helicopter parents in there telling coach they think he's bullying the kids? couldn't they find a day care, or is that not what cool parents do now if they're afraid to let their kids run free after school? the best Q may be, why are parents so afraid to let their kids run free and play casual sports via free association? and why, while complaining that organized sports are too rigorous/roughneck/bullying?

[DBdude]

I'm not sure it's the coaches who don't get it.

it sounds like your son isn't a universal athlete -- whether by talent, or by inclination, it doesn't matter. so what? he found some things he likes. if the coaches wanted him to play with more aggression or assertiveness than he has, or could muster, that's not the coaches' fault. the coach wants someone suitable for the team, he's not a life coach or community therapist who's there to rehabilitate timid kids through athletic participation. you sorta have to have the ground level skills and drive to play if you want to play in organized fashion, and if you don't, lots of opportunity to do things like shoot baskets casually.

this reminds me of parents who expect schools to be parents, this stuff about "coaches asking too much" when they're only seeking basic competence/drive, it's asking them to help your kids learn to be self-confident. that's pretty much your job, not theirs.

sons

the eight year old goes to play and is out to lunch. seriously, it's funny he is so disengaged

the 12 year old, the coach is begging me to get him to play. he won't, he's had it, because it no fun and tedious. the same shit week after week with the same bad actors "scoring" but who actually suck because maybe if the passed and played the game, they would win. but they don't, and they often get trounced. it sucks to watch and he is a bright boy. he get's it. he really does and his response is this sucks

[DBdude]

I wasn't arguing for any particular stereotyped approach

kids who come to organized sports with no sense of organization, they're going to be uncoachable, shouldn't parents be helping their kids with social skills like ...um... being respectful? you don't have to put your kid in organized sports, why make organized sports become disorganized sports? because now it's a babysitter not an athletic experience?

sports teach respect? hardee har har- oh my god

respect is taught at home, not by some frustrated jock who's good days are passed

[creaky fossil]

I get it really well asshole. you were the kind of cunt i despised and still do

why, because I mix levity with seriousness and you think I'm being mean the whole time? it's no surprise to me that some people insist on reading me as they will, and that often that means they ignore what's right on the screen in front of them. it sorta encapsulates the entire problem of treating the internet so seriously, and getting bent out of shape when you misread someone else because you project onto that person a perspective you dislike. it's quite a regular occurrence, and not just at TGR. we are, after all, in the age of irony.

so you think I was pissing on you. I guess you didn't really read what I wrote. example:

sports teach respect? hardee har har- oh my god

respect is taught at home, not by some frustrated jock who's good days are passed

[DBdude]

why, because I mix levity with seriousness and you think I'm being mean the whole time? it's no surprise to me that some people insist on reading me as they will, and that often that means they ignore what's right on the screen in front of them. it sorta encapsulates the entire problem of treating the internet so seriously, and getting bent out of shape when you misread someone else because you project onto that person a perspective you dislike. it's quite a regular occurrence, and not just at TGR. we are, after all, in the age of irony.

so you think I was pissing on you. I guess you didn't really read what I wrote. example:

I did - I realize why I don't like team sports and I know what my kids think and why

everything that team sports supposedly teach are easily acquired else where

there is this intensity and importance attached to sports in this country I find ridiculous

here is an example my eldest middle and high school has hockey, lacrosse, skiing, soccer and football. they cut the advanced math instruction in the junior high because of funding issues

I don't know what else to say

[creaky fossil]

sons

the eight year old goes to play and is out to lunch. seriously, it's funny he is so disengaged

the 12 year old, the coach is begging me to get him to play. he won't, he's had it, because it no fun and tedious. the same shit week after week with the same bad actors "scoring" but who actually suck because maybe if the passed and played the game, they would win. but they don't, and they often get trounced. it sucks to watch and he is a bright boy. he get's it. he really does and his response is this sucks

sports obviously aren't for all kids, and organized sports aren't for all kids who like sports.

when I was a kid, a lot of my neighborhood friends were athletic and played casual games after school, but only a few played organized sports, mostly because they didn't want to play organized. that's not really a tough position for a parent to handle, is it?

when I was young I didn't know any kids who were pushed excessively in sports, but I saw plenty when I was an adult and coached kids.

what I saw more of as a kid was parents pushing their kids too hard in academics, not accepting variation in intellectual aptitude, etc. I saw some seriously panicked classmates in 4th, 5th, 6th grades. in hindsight I see they were from families that wanted their kid in the right competitive prep school, and it had been lain on the kid's shoulders as an academic burden. I didn't know about that stuff as a kid.

I guess it's hard for some parents to accept their kids as they are?

[booner]

I wasn't arguing for any particular stereotyped approach

kids who come to organized sports with no sense of organization, they're going to be uncoachable, shouldn't parents be helping their kids with social skills like ...um... being respectful? you don't have to put your kid in organized sports, why make organized sports become disorganized sports? because now it's a babysitter not an athletic experience? if it's just a babysitter, why are so many helicopter parents in there telling coach they think he's bullying the kids? couldn't they find a day care, or is that not what cool parents do now if they're afraid to let their kids run free after school? the best Q may be, why are parents so afraid to let their kids run free and play casual sports via free association? and why, while complaining that organized sports are too rigorous/roughneck/bullying?

Well said

sports teach respect? hardee har har- oh my god

respect is taught at home, not by some frustrated jock who's good days are passed

Respect is SUPPOSED to be taught as home...and why is every coach that isn't running romper room a "frustrated jock who's good days are passed"?

They're out there, but most are not that at all.

You do realize that the best coaches are the ones who actually played the sport for a long time, right?

Being an ex-jock that is teaching the game to the next generation doesn't automatically qualify that person as anything other than just that

[DBdude]

I accept my kids for what they are - the coaches don't

prep school? we obviously come from different socio economic background

one of my parents quit school at 14 to work and emigrated to another county at 18 and english was a second language for part of my childhood.

prep school - holy shit

public secondary school and public university that I paid for

[creaky fossil]

when the affluent find their progeny are being coached by a person whose life has been oriented around sport not career, and thus the coach may be blue collar if not casual white collar, a point of social hierarchy needs to be made, so that the parent may rest easy on the notion that this has-been might be the coach, but I'm the one with the degrees and fancy job, and so I doubt your strategic superiority or administrative abilities because in my world, those are shown by degrees from fine schools, tastefully set offices, and an ability to use polysyllabics and passive-aggression with equal grace.

[DBdude]

Well said






Respect is SUPPOSED to be taught as home...and why is every coach that isn't running romper room a "frustrated jock who's good days are passed"?

They're out there, but most are not that at all.

You do realize that the best coaches are the ones who actually played the sport for a long time, right?

Being an ex-jock that is teaching the game to the next generation doesn't automatically qualify that person as anything other than just that

the conduct of your athletes is what you have to deal with. don't like, don't do it

most parents are idiots - get used to it

[Mofro261]

Supercilious and super-serious.

[DBdude]

project much?

sports are not important - end of story

whether the coach is a street sweeper or a jet pilot, how they coach is what matters, and for an eight year old boy it is about having fun. nothing more nothing less

[booner]

sports are not important - end of story

Tell that to the 8 yr olds on my team that love playing hockey more than anything, and can't wait for that door to open to get on the ice

Sports aren't AS important as some/most things...but I assure you, they're important to a lot of people...just not you

[creaky fossil]

who is it that keeps forcing DBdude's kids to play in organized sports? that person's obviously an idiot!