Coaching young kids sports teams

[skiballs]

Share the the helicopter emails you have received.

Tonight I got an email from one of the parents, 8yr old boys soccer.
" the kids are in no way ready to play a game, what should we do"
Of course I have to respond that we will do our best.
But what I really wanted to email back. " I suggest you drink heavily, because I will be."
So what do you guys have.

[stfu&gbtw]

Share the the helicopter emails you have received.

Tonight I got an email from one of the parents, 8yr old boys soccer.
" the kids are in no way ready to play a game, what should we do"
Of course I have to respond that we will do our best.
But what I really wanted to email back. " I suggest you drink heavily, because I will be."
So what do you guys have.

I've got practice with the 5 year olds tomorrow before their first game. Any kid who doesn't clear the first defender with his corner kick is getting beaten into the ground like a tent stake.

[Hugh Conway]

woah. I knew you were dumb, I didn't know you were dumb enough to coach kids sports Vibes.

[Bobcat Sig]

I don't have any emails to share, but you should respond only with this picture:

[fishbenk]

[spook]

it's so hard for asshole coaches and parents to let kids have fun.

[shera]

Oh man, I've been skiing with local kid's groups for a long time now, as far as crazy parents I've seen it all. Last year I had seven 5/6 year olds on Saturdays, which is a big group for that age. I told the parents on the first day to keep their ski poles and one of the dads threw an absolute fit and was really verbally abusive. This is the first time I ever met the guy. I refused to cave but I immediately offered to put his boy in another group. Hoping to lose the crazy but it didn't work. The boy turned out to be awesome and sweet. I had other issues with the dad during the season - I always encourage parents to join for skiing, but not to actually interfere, just watch. He couldn't follow any instructions, ever.

This coming season, for the first time, I'll be coaching a competitive program at Breck. I invited five of the seven kids from last year to join the team. Those were the five that I was able to get fully parallel on blue terrain, beautiful young skiers. The boy and his father will be back. The boy is so cool I'll just deal with the nutjob dad.

I asked my parents to put their kids in fall soccer, to get their legs and lungs ready for winter.

[MMP]

I coached youth football and lacrosse for both of my boys, as well as T-ball and soccer when they were very young. I have lots of stories, but no emails to share, but my advice to any youth coach is to never respond to a parent that shares their opinions or criticisms via email. Do not let them hide behind their keyboards. Let them know that you will not be responding to email other than with important team information.

As an alternative, tell them that you will gladly speak with them face to face, after practice. Be specific that you are busy before practice organizing, and for them to wait until you are off the field.

Lots of parents will unload via email, not so much when forced to confront and have an actual real-time discussion.

Between the coaches the saying goes, "grab a whistle or please shut up".

[Timberridge]

woah. I knew you were dumb, I didn't know you were dumb enough to coach kids sports Vibes.

The kids are a pain in the ass but some of the moms are pretty hot, that's why I coach.

[HD333]

Between the coaches the saying goes, "grab a whistle or please shut up".

Love it.
Had a parent email me some suggestions for our team one season. He asked me if I got the email after a practice and what I thought. I told him git the email and I had one suggestion for him, to consider VOLUNTEERING to coach a team of his own next season. Didn't hear another word out of him.

[MMP]

another time honored response is to the question "why isn't my son playing-more, QB, Attack, on man-up, starting, etc......"

I use- "Have you asked him? I assure you HE knows why"

[MMP]

The kids are a pain in the ass but some of the moms are pretty hot, that's why I coach.

when picking teams this is how we did it.

1. pick a kid whose dad or mom is an orthopedic surgeon.
2. strictly by the hotness of the moms
3. skill

[sgrloafer]

It takes a person with a very special demeanor to pull this off successfully, especially if your own kid is on the team. The coach's kid never seems to get a fair shake. If they're really good the tendency can be to over-compensate and not play them enough and if they're really terrible and get minimum playing time, your home life can suck. I work with a guy that coaches his two boys teams (they're close in age, so they're on the same teams) and now that they're getting a bit older, it's becoming obvious that one is fairly talented and the other one, not so much, so he's dealing with those issues at home, in addition to the fruitcake parents.

For the most part my kids did sports (gymnastics) that required real coaches, as opposed to parent volunteers, so I dodged a lot of those bullets, but it wasn't cheap. The parents were still as nutty as they are in other sports, but the guy that ran the gym did a good job handling them.

[MMP]

..... did sports (gymnastics) that required real coaches, as opposed to parent volunteers

none taken, JONG

[sgrloafer]

Apologies.....I should have said "professional" coaches, as opposed to volunteers.

none taken, JONG

[TNKen]

Coached volleyball for about 10 years. I am a professional because I get paid.

Club rule, you never coach your kid. Great rule.

For the most part, have had great kids and parents, with a few exceptions.

Had an early game, told the crew to be at the gym ready to go at 7:15 for an 8:00 game. Everyone is there but one 16 year old out of an 11 kid roster. We warm up, take the coin toss, and get the court for the second warmup of 4 minutes. About half way through, kid and mom with sister and bf in tow come strolling in. I was pissed off to start with, but she was drinking a Coke from a Burger King cup. Shoes and knee pads not on, not even ready to go. I tell her to run some sprints to get warmed up, she would be sitting the first game.

Mom goes apeshit on me. Claimed it was bf's fault who had to eat three platefulls of food at the hotel. Advise mom she could have ridden with either me or any of the other 10 parents. Mom yells a while, I stand ground, kid plays second game. Club director gets a call, and backs me. No more issues with mom or kid. After major conflicts with another coach next year, kid eventually decides volleyball is not her sport.

Biggest advice... keep coaching thoughts to yourself.

[sgrloafer]

Absolutely. In the case of gymnastics, it was the coach that dealt with it instead of me....and he was pretty open and honest with them about setting expectations for their kids, which obviously some didn't like.

It's funny that later in life my kid saw the same thing coaching a competitive freestyle ski team....parents paid extra (as opoosed to the regular weekend program), had ridiculous expectations and half the kids didn't even want to be in it. Pushy parents ruin sports for kids.

I always found the more the parents paid, the worse they were to deal with. Even when I was only another parent, couldn't stand those douchebag parents of "elite" athletes.

[MMP]

.... tell them that you will gladly speak with them face to face, after practice (edit- or game). Be specific that you are busy before practice organizing, and for them to wait until you are off the field.

Mom goes apeshit on me. Claimed it was bf's fault who had to eat three platefulls of food at the hotel. Advise mom she could have ridden with either me or any of the other 10 parents.

see how clearly defined rules would allow you to say "I understand you're upset, but I am busy with the team and will happily speak with you after the games." then walk away.

We used to hold the players responsible when they were late. We know they don't drive, but you would be surprised at the level of responsibility a kid will rise to when you have expectations that you demand they meet. This is true of learning complicated plays and following the team rules. We would give them the Vince Lombardi line "if you aren't 10 minutes early, you're 10 minutes late". We found it was best to teach the kids. Then even if mom flips, kid knows I am not playing because I was late. regardless of whose fault it was, everyone else was on time and I wasn't.

Kid not playing, ask them why.

[Timberridge]

parents paid extra (as opoosed to the regular weekend program), had ridiculous expectations and half the kids didn't even want to be in it. Pushy parents ruin sports for kids.

pay more = expect more, it's life

and as far as the pushy parents ruining kids love for the sport meme, yeah there are a few outliers out there but generally I've found parents to be pretty cool. They are no more prevalent than the spoiled brat ADHD kids.

[GiBo]

I coached my son's Little League team for four years. The first year there was a little girl who simply could not hit. It was like she had never even held a bat before. I worked with her as much as I could, but I had 12 other kids do deal with. So I asked her dad, a little tweaker looking dude, if he could work with her at home. He said, "Ah dude, I would, but I'm left handed and she's right handed so that just ain't gonna work."

And when did parents start watching practices? When I played, there would not be one parent at practice. When I coached, I think every kid had a parent there. Makes giving a little kick in the butt when they need it tough.

[riser4]

I go to practices to make SURE the coach kicks my kids' asses.

[skiballs]

when picking teams this is how we did it.

1. pick a kid whose dad or mom is an orthopedic surgeon.
2. strictly by the hotness of the moms
3. skill

I like to have the parents play against the kids, this spring one of the kids mom's was a stunning redhead. I told her she needed to come to practice in shorts and a tee shirt and be ready to get sweaty. She did.

[userA]

assign one kid a week to bring orange slices for halftime.
b

[I've seen black diamonds!]

I coach high school wrestling. All the kids in our school are recent immigrants. Never had a parent complain or tell me what to do. Most years not a single parent comes to watch a single match. I've had a few kids who were State Champions and All Americans who got into college because of wrestling. None of them had a parent watch them wrestle even once. It's different.

[Gripen]

Parents are the reason I quit ski race coaching years ago. 'why isn't my kid winning races'

Answer number one. He doesn't like racing and would rather just ski for fun.

Answer two. He sucks. Time to take up bowling.

I can't stand ski racing parents. The Freeride program I coached for for years and a pretty strict no parents involvement rule that was awesome. For both kids and parents.