I work with an idiot thread

[Benny Profane]

Yes, I suppose we all do, but this guy just makes me snort through my nose every now and then. Unfortunately, for reasons I still can't determine, he is the techy go to guy for Mac advice around here (IT accepts him like one would treat a mentally disabled child), and is in charge of our CGI (I work in photographic finishing). The CGI effort is still stuck in 2002 as the world just spins by.

Anyway, I think we need a thread for the gems that stupid people with a little power at work say every now and then, sort of like gaper quotes over in S and S. So, I'll start.

Today, I just heard him say that the artists should make sure that large files are ready to proof before they hit the proofers, because, if they need sizing or rotation, the CPU within that computer will be taxed, and will wear out. In my thirty years of working with computers, I have never "worn out" a CPU. And, he's our computer genius.

I have many more that come from him. He is a big conspiracy theorist.

[booner]

I used to work in landscape construction
Best one I ever heard was when I was building a raised patio with the resident dummy of the company. We were putting in the stone base in lifts...6" max per lift to get compaction.
Dummy dumps 12-14 inches of crusher run on top of the previous lift and I give him the old.."dude..WTF!!" He responds...dead serious...it will settle over the weekend, it's fine.
I definitely don't miss those days

[AdironRider]

Considering most landscapers arent the sharpest tools in the shed, what did you expect? Its a pile of dirt and you got worked up over it?

[skiing-in-jackson]

Winter Job= No problems

Summer Job= Idiot on staff. Boss keeps him around for entertainment.

[DeathVan]

Picture a fat pink pig, only she's a woman with bleach blonde hair, wispy whiskers, narrow set beady dead eyes and a manatee toe (a camel would break it's ankle in this thing).
-she also works part time at Walmart (in customer service, go figure)

Anyways, last Friday morning I overhear a conversation she's having with another half-wit about how the people at Subway sandwiches don't know what White Cheddar Cheese is and how she had to school them on it, "That's Pepper Jack...right?, and that's Proveelone....right?, and that on there, well that's White Cheddar...some people call it American Cheese but that's not really what it is. Huur huurrr, oink oink."

I asked her if it made her feel good to put people earning minimum wage down for not knowing as much about fatty foods as her, then left the room before I puked on her gunt.

[booner]

Considering most landscapers arent the sharpest tools in the shed, what did you expect? Its a pile of dirt and you got worked up over it?

Yes...most are idiots. It wasn't dirt...stone base. Not compacted properly=it settles and now your nice flat patio has potholes. That retard would have to fix 90% of the jobs he did within a couple months of finishing them. I never had to go back to any of them

[schuss]

I grew up the son of an architect, so I can read blueprints quite easily. I was hired as a laborer (site bitch) for a large commercial project. I was helping stock pipe for a whole section of boiler run with the foreman and took a look at the blueprints: 2 separate pipe runs that weren't compared to each other so would get in the others way.
Me: This won't work, you need to change this or this, and I don't feel like getting more pipe
Foreman: I know what I'm doing, make the cuts here and here.
Me: OK, but if it needs more pipe, you have to get it.

An hour later - see the dude throwing the pipe I cut in the scrap pile and redoing it how I said he should do it.

[systemoverblow'd]

Happens on a weekly basis with a bunch of people

dumbass: "The voice over pacing is too fast, it feels rushed"
me: "OK, we'll get ****** back in for a rerecord"
week later with new VO in place
dumbass: "The client thinks the voice over needs to be sped up. That's a quick fix right?"
me: ....
dumbass: "We did have a round of revisions scheduled."
me: "We had client TWEAKS scheduled. This is a 3 minute animated video timed to the voice over. I'm basically starting from scratch. And... last time you told me to slow it down and now you want it the way I had it before I animated everything. You'll have it in a few days.

almost without fail.

[userA]

i read alot of idiot threads.
bF

[Kevo]

I worked with a Marketing Director who thought you had to buy each individual web page URL.

EX- The company owned something like tetongravity.com We needed to add a page tetongravity.com/news

"Whoa, you haven't asked me if you can buy that. All website purchases need to go through me."

"We own the domain. What are you talking about?"

He tried to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about.

He had been paying some web guy to "buy webpages" for years and though you needed to buy each new page within a site from godaddy or some other domain registry.

[Beaver]

I worked with a Marketing Director who thought you had to buy each individual web page URL.

EX- The company owned something like tetongravity.com We needed to add a page tetongravity.com/news

"Whoa, you haven't asked me if you can buy that. All website purchases need to go through me."

"We own the domain. What are you talking about?"

He tried to tell me I didn't know what I was talking about.

He had been paying some web guy to "buy webpages" for years and though you needed to buy each new page within a site from godaddy or some other domain registry.

Um dude, you're the idiot for enlightening him. You should just accept that he is right and take his cash.

[stfu&gbtw]

Happens on a weekly basis with a bunch of people

dumbass: "The voice over pacing is too fast, it feels rushed"
me: "OK, we'll get ****** back in for a rerecord"
week later with new VO in place
dumbass: "The client thinks the voice over needs to be sped up. That's a quick fix right?"
me: ....
dumbass: "We did have a round of revisions scheduled."
me: "We had client TWEAKS scheduled. This is a 3 minute animated video timed to the voice over. I'm basically starting from scratch. And... last time you told me to slow it down and now you want it the way I had it before I animated everything. You'll have it in a few days.

almost without fail.

Only an idiot wouldn't have saved a copy of the project before changing it. I can't imagine having to work with someone so stupid that undoing a change means "basically starting from scratch".

I don't work with Madvres, but I feel like this is close enough.

[Kevo]

Um dude, you're the idiot for enlightening him. You should just accept that he is right and take his cash.

Unfortunately I worked for the same company as said person.

[Rossymcg]

yes this idiot who thinks he's a property developer. He'd convinced this wealthy guy he knows what he's on about so he kind of lets him run projects for him(always problems with the building inspector and tradesmen walking off the job). I'm doing the joinery works on one of the jobs, a lot of friction between myself and him, due to the fact i've been doing this 18 years and make my living from it he's an IDIOT. Im sending him sms''s for materials so my ass is covered when he forgets something. He comes back from the merchants, owner of the building strolling around with all his associates, the idiot storms in to me and shouts
"i been down the merchants for you and the sms reads you want brown wall plugs, well how am i supposed to know what size brown wall plugs you want" (the colour brown indicates the size of the wall plug). i then asked if he'd ordered skirting. I'm on it now he replied, he does no more than phones the merchants in front of the owner and asks for skirting boards, when asked how many meters his reply "are you an idiot i've told you before its an average size conversion"
the guy still uses him

[flyandski365]

Only an idiot wouldn't have saved a copy of the project before changing it. I can't imagine having to work with someone so stupid that undoing a change means "basically starting from scratch".

I don't work with Madvres, but I feel like this is close enough.

Umm... he said it was an animated video timed to the voice over. Let that turn over in your head a few times and see if your response still makes sense.

[AdironRider]

Yes...most are idiots. It wasn't dirt...stone base. Not compacted properly=it settles and now your nice flat patio has potholes. That retard would have to fix 90% of the jobs he did within a couple months of finishing them. I never had to go back to any of them

Im just giving you shit, I was a dirt pimps foreman for 6 years.

My retard dirt pimp employee rolled a dump truck into Orleans harbor one summer. Another stuck his hand into a mower deck with the blades running. Got a pretty sweet police escort as I hauled his ass from Orleans to Hyannis for that one.

[stfu&gbtw]

Umm... he said it was an animated video timed to the voice over. Let that turn over in your head a few times and see if your response still makes sense.

Yeah - so they went through this once, and then decided to change it. And then decided to change it again. To the way it was before. I get that the animation needs to slow down to accommodate the slower VO - but if they had this all packaged and ready to go once...

[Tippster]

No.

VO gets sent to idiot for approval.
Idiot says it's too fast
Retrack slower
Add animation
sent to client
client says VO is too slow.

[systemoverblow'd]

Only an idiot wouldn't have saved a copy of the project before changing it. I can't imagine having to work with someone so stupid that undoing a change means "basically starting from scratch".

I don't work with Madvres, but I feel like this is close enough.

Umm... he said it was an animated video timed to the voice over. Let that turn over in your head a few times and see if your response still makes sense.

Not to mention if he read he would have seen the way I had it originally was prior to my animating.

Rough cut 1 - VO with static art cards.
Rough cut 2 - New VO with animated art cards.
Final Cut 1 - Another new VO with all the animation timing adjusted.

Rough Cut 1 was for them to approve all major content.
Rough Cut 2 - was supposed to be minor tweaks to the animation due to change of art card copy or design or something. Turned out I had to redo all my timing points to accommodate new VO. That's why you get approval of everything before doing the long work.

And I am the most diligent person when it comes to saving versions. I version up the project file or timeline every round so I can always go back to anything. You'll never believe how often people have you change something to go back to the original way once they see they were idiots for making the change in the first place.

EDIT - beat by Tippster.

[stfu&gbtw]

No.

VO gets sent to idiot for approval.
Idiot says it's too fast
Retrack slower
Add animation
Trip kid running down the aisle
sent to client
client says VO is too slow.

FIFY5678

[rideit]

I am self employed.

'Nuff said.

[flatlander#2]

(I work in photographic finishing).

I still refer to that as The Scitex Department.

[The AD]

My wife is a court reporter, so she routinely hears funny shit from both the people being deposed and the lawyers deposing them. My all time favorite is a guy who said something "wasn't rocket scientry." She also says just about on a weekly basis a lawyer will ask someone if something happened "prior to" something else and the deponent has to ask whether prior means before or after.

[Benny Profane]

I still refer to that as The Scitex Department.

Oh yeah, that was me, in, like 1990. After Crosfield.

[mobygrape]

a lawyer will ask someone if something happened "prior to" something else and the deponent has to ask whether prior means before or after.

fancy lawyers and their big words! Just trying to get me caught up and confused.