Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[Shadam]

ok picture this ...

it like hot tub time machine ...

its 1988 ...
I'm riding pow !!!
ok its australia and its 5cm of wet cement.
I cant get my boot into my binding toe piece. (edit for ski bindings eh)
first day blah blah blah ...
random ski instructor walks past,
and I ask why ...

gotta shake-n-scrape that shit off eh?

and then my life changed ...

I became a snowboarder !!!

[gcmcgurn]

a big, loud, camo sporting Texan comes into my rental shop showing off to his wife and kids about how much he knew about snowboarding. I get him set up on a basic snowboard package. on the way out he demands poles. I explain to him that snowboarders do not use poles. Accuses me of lying to him and that he used poles in 1986 when "Tom Burton" taught him to snowboard.

He insists on speaking to my manager who also explains that poles were not necessary but he was welcome to rent some. this 5'7" demands 54" poles reaching up to his armpits.

Guy leaves. Comes back 2 hours later with a recently broken nose. Drops his gear at the front door ranting that he did it on a double black diamond, we never told him poles were dangerous, and that he was going to sue the shop and storms out.

Later found out from ski patrol that the guy tried to get on the chair fully strapped in, hooked the pole tip on the chair as he was loading and took the pole handle to the nose.

It was only post accident paperwork I've ever done with a smile

[Benny Profane]

a big, loud, camo sporting Texan comes into my rental shop showing off to his wife and kids about how much he knew about snowboarding. I get him set up on a basic snowboard package. on the way out he demands poles. I explain to him that snowboarders do not use poles. Accuses me of lying to him and that he used poles in 1986 when "Tom Burton" taught him to snowboard.

He insists on speaking to my manager who also explains that poles were not necessary but he was welcome to rent some. this 5'7" demands 54" poles reaching up to his armpits.

Guy leaves. Comes back 2 hours later with a recently broken nose. Drops his gear at the front door ranting that he did it on a double black diamond, we never told him poles were dangerous, and that he was going to sue the shop and storms out.

Later found out from ski patrol that the guy tried to get on the chair fully strapped in, hooked the pole tip on the chair as he was loading and took the pole handle to the nose.

It was only post accident paperwork I've ever done with a smile

You ain't seen nuthin' yet. Wait and see what happens when they start selling these things. As your lawyer, I would advise against your shop even considering renting them. Imagine the carnage.

http://www.snowshift.com/

[biff chalupa]

a big, loud, camo sporting Texan comes into my rental shop showing off to his wife and kids about how much he knew about snowboarding. I get him set up on a basic snowboard package. on the way out he demands poles. I explain to him that snowboarders do not use poles. Accuses me of lying to him and that he used poles in 1986 when "Tom Burton" taught him to snowboard.

He insists on speaking to my manager who also explains that poles were not necessary but he was welcome to rent some. this 5'7" demands 54" poles reaching up to his armpits.

Guy leaves. Comes back 2 hours later with a recently broken nose. Drops his gear at the front door ranting that he did it on a double black diamond, we never told him poles were dangerous, and that he was going to sue the shop and storms out.

Later found out from ski patrol that the guy tried to get on the chair fully strapped in, hooked the pole tip on the chair as he was loading and took the pole handle to the nose.

It was only post accident paperwork I've ever done with a smile

That's awesome. Top notch first post.

[philth]

Plan on it.... Great three days of music and art

Haaaa....speaking of gaperific...that was sposed to be a text message about the Wilco festival that I posted here in my stupor last night.....fail. Bwaaaaa

[BigDaddy]

That's awesome. Top notch first post.

I agree.



Okay, at least this guy wasn't wearing a fanny pack.

Solitude last weekend:

[iscariot]

You ain't seen nuthin' yet. Wait and see what happens when they start selling these things. As your lawyer, I would advise against your shop even considering renting them. Imagine the carnage.

http://www.snowshift.com/

Holy FUCK that's retarted.

[Benny Profane]

I agree.



Okay, at least this guy wasn't wearing a fanny pack.

Solitude last weekend:

Solitude?! You sure that ain't Davos?

[Benny Profane]

Holy FUCK that's retarted.

100 bucks you read about a incident where that thing is used as a weapon.

[soylent green]

You ain't seen nuthin' yet. Wait and see what happens when they start selling these things. As your lawyer, I would advise against your shop even considering renting them. Imagine the carnage.

http://www.snowshift.com/

I'm not a snowboarder, so that may be why that thing makes sense to me.

[Jethro]

I agree.



Okay, at least this guy wasn't wearing a fanny pack.

Solitude last weekend:

Other than his ski choice, that's pure win!

[PNWbrit]

and after 30 seconds the first guy in dropped. Then 35 seconds the next guy dropped. Then someone on the outside who saw it go down goes into help and drops 30 seconds later.

They should have used avalungs?

[inthemtns]

She's not a gaper (she skis very well), but a girl in my lab was talking yesterday about going to ski some backcountry in another part of the state. I go over there to ski sometimes so I knew what the conditions were like. They had a really bad avi cycle last week and I started telling her about it. She brushed it off and said "I'm safe. My dad got me an airbag for Christmas".

[shafty85]

You ain't seen nuthin' yet. Wait and see what happens when they start selling these things. As your lawyer, I would advise against your shop even considering renting them. Imagine the carnage.

http://www.snowshift.com/

STICK YOU TURNS














I... don't... understand...

[iscariot]

STICK YOU TURNS














I... don't... understand...

No, No, No...




It's



"STICK U-TURNS!"




That device will allow you to u-turn like a mofo...

[spook]

i thought it was to decapitate the enemy

[Shadam]

how many ski resorts are gunna let me load with that thing in my hand?
do I need a leash for it?

I'm guessing at least $80 maybe $100

but I'm stupid enough to try it ...
but not stupid enough to buy it ...

[TahoeJ]

It's like adaptive skiing for people with fully functional legs.

[KenJongIll]

That's awesome. Top notch first troll.

Fixed. No way this is real.

[guroo270]

I think he made it to Val Thorens

[abe froman]

^^^^That was painful to watch.

[snoqpass]

"The Canyons is no joke" Red Pine Gondola line

[Monsterscuba]

There are some good ones in this thread. I recently did a month of hard time in the retail trenches. I almost always have saintlike patience with the gapers, having honed my skills in this regard over the better part of a decade.

But if I have to listen to one more Right Coast fucktard question whether or not there actually is skiing in New Mexico, I'm going to get arrested for assault.

Water skiing, right?

[Monsterscuba]

Nitrogen is nasty stuff. Wouldn't wanna catch a wiff of it.

To bad nitrogen makes up about 80% of the air we actually breathe.

[TomCrac]

Guroo..... That was seriously funny shit right there. That dude did not go down without a fight, even though the fight was with himself.