Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[TacocaT]

Saw a guy at Loveland last week with his ticket stuck directly to his jacket. The top half was flappin in the wind.

[jamal]

Years ago at Red Mountain, BC my buddy and I were riding the first lift that appears to go to the top with a mid-station. We decide to act like fools that we didn't know what to do at said mid-station. Yep, we went around the bull-wheel...no mid-station.

Friday a guy a couple chairs in front of me did that and hit the stop bar.

[toast2266]

Today, after 3 guys with no gear dropped in directly above us in unpatrolled / uncontrolled sidecountry with "considerable" avalanche conditions:

Me: Hey, if you idiots without any avy gear want to drop in on top of us, at least give us a heads up first
Gaper: you traversed under me (while threatening to hit me with his pole)
Me: That was a ski cut, and you were still standing on the ridge when I did it.
Gaper: Whatever. It's slackcountry, not backcountry.

[Shadam]

drunken shit show at lake louise a few years back (imagine that from us!)
buddy sticks his lift ticket to the nose of his board.
every lifty and the ticket seller and just about everyone else said it would come off and he'd lose it.
12 months later he scraped it off.

[ASmileyFace]

So ... during the entire lift ride, the guy couldn't pull the snowblade up by the leash and grab it? Or it didn't occur to him? Even if he didn't get it back on, surely it would be easier to get off the chair without trailing it by the leash?

I am a gaper, but have no experience with snowblades, is there some fundamental thing I'm missing here, or was he just beyond clueless?

Yep exactly that. He didn't even make an effort to pull it up he just let it hang the whole way up.

[shafty85]

Another classic...

This is probably mentioned already:

This woman fell and I offered to help. But she said she got it. After about 30 seconds observation, I pointed out that slipping the boot toe into the binding heel first is not going to work. So I had her rotate the skis 180 degrees.

I feel I should mention that this is possible, as proven by my mom the first time she tried skiing. I pointed out that, while disappointed she had put her ski on backwards, I was impressed she had accomplished it.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Today, after 3 guys with no gear dropped in directly above us in unpatrolled / uncontrolled sidecountry with "considerable" avalanche conditions:

Me: Hey, if you idiots without any avy gear want to drop in on top of us, at least give us a heads up first
Gaper: you traversed under me (while threatening to hit me with his pole)
Me: That was a ski cut, and you were still standing on the ridge when I did it.
Gaper: Whatever. It's slackcountry, not backcountry.

That. Is. Amazing.

[-Devin-]

I think this CNN article belongs in this thread. http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/14/sport/...html?hpt=hp_c3

Danger on the slopes: Are winter sports safe?

Even the best can take a tumble. World and Olympic champion Aksel Lund Svindval goes airborne during training for a World Cup race at Schladming in Austria.

Ha ha. Even world cup racers can take a tumble.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

First time i've ever seen this; i watched a guy walk thru the corral to the saddleback high speed quad at canyons with his skis in hand and tried to load the lift that way.

Lifty clued him in, we laughed, and he said that was the second time it had happened in the last five minutes. Lutz

[Jimty]

Two stories from Chamonix this weekend:

Standing in a ski shop when a couple walk in - neither looks in great shape and the lady is carrying some recreational Salomon ski boots. She turns to her husband/boyfriend and says, "If we're going to try skiing off-piste I'm going to need some fat skis". She then points to a pair of 175 Black Crows Corvus, turns to the guy and says, "These are really pretty - can I have them?" The guy nods and pays. So here's the description of the 175 Corvus from the Black Crows website:
"[The] ideal partner for he or she who likes an extreme kind of skiing...:true freeride ski, powder gun, but also the perfect choice for ski touring, steep skiing and couloirs."
I couldn't help thinking that his money might have been better spent on getting her some off-piste lessons and ski demos.

********

Standing at Brevent base near a group of Australians.

Ozzie girl: "Did you know that a whale shark's heart is the size of a Mini Cooper?"

Ozzie guy: "Don't you mean the blue whale's?"

Ozzie girl: "Err, yeah I meant the blue whale."

Ozzie guy laughs ar her: "Don't worry - you were close. They're both big fish aren't they?"

I'm not sure if they were gapers, but marine biology definitely wasn't their strong point.

[spencea]

I'm a patroller at a small hill in Nova Scotia, and my coworkers were patching up a drunk snowlerblader who had split his chin open on a rail.

I was in the rental shop seeing how everything was going and when they were done with him he comes walking in the door with the blades on, over the grate, on the concrete, trips and falls and as he is getting up slurs, "best night ever!!".

It was pretty awesome because after that his girlfriend had to be his mom and pack him up to got to the hospital to get stitches.

[knumbskull]

Haha that had me in stitches. Sounds like you found saucer boy's special Canadian cousin.

[Jacolac]

I just sold my avy airbag the other day and I got the impression the guy who bought is some rich guy that has basically never been in the backcountry but was told he needs an airbag. I recommend that he test deploy it before using it so he does it right after handing me the money for it.

After a couple minutes he asks me why it hasn't deflated yet and that that's not very good in case he gets buried since he would quickly need the air to be able to breathe. I'm not sure if he's joking at this point but kind of jokingly say that it's not really designed for that...

Now a couple days later, I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding because of his tone. Hopefully he doesn't think he's supposed to deploy it after being buried. Maybe I should let him know...

[iscariot]

Hopefully he doesn't think he's supposed to deploy it after being buried. Maybe I should let him know...

I'm sure Darwin will explain it to him...

[DropCliffsNotBombs]

I just sold my avy airbag the other day and I got the impression the guy who bought is some rich guy that has basically never been in the backcountry but was told he needs an airbag. I recommend that he test deploy it before using it so he does it right after handing me the money for it.

After a couple minutes he asks me why it hasn't deflated yet and that that's not very good in case he gets buried since he would quickly need the air to be able to breathe. I'm not sure if he's joking at this point but kind of jokingly say that it's not really designed for that...

Now a couple days later, I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding because of his tone. Hopefully he doesn't think he's supposed to deploy it after being buried. Maybe I should let him know...

Actually that's not a bad question at all. You (being a salesman) do know that some airbags packs are designed to deflate after a certain amount of time since if you DID end up buried, you would want the space that the airbag is taking up to breathe.
It's a safety feature...

[Jacolac]

Actually that's not a bad question at all. You (being a salesman) do know that some airbags packs are designed to deflate after a certain amount of time since if you DID end up buried, you would want the space that the airbag is taking up to breathe.
It's a safety feature...

That may be and it sort of makes sense but this guy quite clearly thought that this was the primary function of the airbag.

[inthemtns]

I just sold my avy airbag the other day and I got the impression the guy who bought is some rich guy that has basically never been in the backcountry but was told he needs an airbag. I recommend that he test deploy it before using it so he does it right after handing me the money for it.

After a couple minutes he asks me why it hasn't deflated yet and that that's not very good in case he gets buried since he would quickly need the air to be able to breathe. I'm not sure if he's joking at this point but kind of jokingly say that it's not really designed for that...

Now a couple days later, I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding because of his tone. Hopefully he doesn't think he's supposed to deploy it after being buried. Maybe I should let him know...

You actually wouldn't want to breath that stuff in. Its nitrogen right? That would suffocate you quick. Although it would be more pleasant than suffocating on CO2...
If its not Nitrogen, ignore this comment.

[Cocximus]

You actually wouldn't want to breath that stuff in. Its nitrogen right? That would suffocate you quick. Although it would be more pleasant than suffocating on CO2...
If its not Nitrogen, ignore this comment.

Nitrogen is nasty stuff. Wouldn't wanna catch a wiff of it.

[tele58]

Nitrogen is nasty stuff. Wouldn't wanna catch a wiff of it.

POTW.....you do know the stuff youre currently breathin is 78% Nitrogen.....right?

[Swine]

Nitrogen isn't nasty. Yeah, you'll die eventually because you asphyxiate on your own CO2, not because nitrogen is poisonous.

[IVplay]

From my last weekend skiing in Ontario
"There is too much powder, they need to groom the slopes" after a 5 cm snowfall (2 inches)

[inthemtns]

Nitrogen isn't nasty. Yeah, you'll die eventually because you asphyxiate on your own CO2, not because nitrogen is poisonous.

Sure its not poisonous but its still super nasty stuff. YOU WILL DIE. Worst part is, you won't see it coming. Your body doesn't have any sort of panic instinct associated with only breathing in nitrogen (Like it does when you aren't breathing in at all). You just die.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inert_g...ion#Physiology

Its a big problem at science facilities where they use a lot of liquid nitrogen. There are O2 alarms everywhere. The story they always tell in the safety meeting (not that kind) is about the guys that went into a nitrogen filled room inside a particle accelerator and after 30 seconds the first guy in dropped. Then 35 seconds the next guy dropped. Then someone on the outside who saw it go down goes into help and drops 30 seconds later. Its no joke.

[Cocximus]

POTW.....you do know the stuff youre currently breathin is 78% Nitrogen.....right?

I wonder, would it be a hazard to put 20% oxygen in those tanks?

[philth]

Plan on it.... Great three days of music and art

[KenJongIll]

Being a gaper myself, I have had someone try to trick me into making a gaper quote. Probably one of you Aholes.