The Gaper Spirit Animal

[chadeau]

I knew I felt a powerful force calling me over to Harmony Ridge yesterday. I however, chose the path of the heretic and remained on the darkside.

[Crass3000]

this will be sweet if it's one big ass troll

Yah it's gotta be. The odds of catching the stairmaster photo is just too over the top.

[splat]

Do you think Will Ferrell would be a good lead for the GSA feature length movie?

[daviski]

no he is too self-ironic, we need Charlton Heston, or his best equivalent

[rideit]

Garey Busey, duh

[daviski]

good call,

[martyagt4]

Do you think Will Ferrell would be a good lead for the GSA feature length movie?

I vote Jason Statham.

[tone capone]

Do you think his majesty The GSA will eventually succumb to the ravages of paranoia or will he learn to love and accept us as his devoted desciples?

[Ski to Be]

To capture the extremely subtle nuances of the GSA would require a very talented actor that devotes his all to every role. Daniel Day Lewis or Joaquin Phoenix this generation of actors. A young Marlon Brando or Jack Nicholson would have worked. Stanley Kubrich would have been a good director for it

[Ski to Be]

Do you think his majesty The GSA will eventually succumb to the ravages of paranoia or will he learn to love and accept us as his devoted desciples?

At the very least he will lose the harness, orange pants & only 1 GoPro to evolve to a new form that will be unrecognizable to all except the most devoted of his flock. My bet is that he will be like Kaiser Susei and vanish . Frankly I am astounded that he surfaced again last weekend. I should have never questioned the will of the GSA

[Maximus Farcisimus]

Mercy of the GSA

Once again I went in search of the benevolent one. My fourth day in a row scouring the mountains.
As I embarked on my journey I found 3 friends on the lift.
I asked......."have you seen the GSA?'
The response...."What is the GSA"

!!!!!!!!...Men who have worked in the mountains for years,decades, side by side with the disciple Clownshoe.

I paused, and thought.
What/who is the GSA.
I spoke of the stairmaster, the mighty harness, the resurrection that powder11 witnessed. I then told them they must speak to Clownshoe for I could not give all the details. Only one who has been in the presence of the GSA could even try and start to describe him.

We continued up the lifts to up to the highest point, and then on we travelled.

As an appeasement to the great GSA I had taken off my snowboard boots for the first time in 21 yrs and purchased AT boots to try and better understand his holiness. On we climbed in what I hoped was his skin track.
We reached the col, gazed down at the bounty of powder he had bestowed upon us.

My 3 friends dropped in, one at a time.
The first 2 to the right, the third on to the left.
Little did I know what was lurking beyond.
Down to left my third friend went, I waited.
Time passed, I dropped in, then halfway down I noticed it.
It has run several hundred meters, 30-40cms deep at the crown, 40m wide.
I stopped, looked down, 2 friends. Time stood still. Had this just happened. We had been here many times before, there 6 tracks just to the left. I took a deep breath, my eyes squinting, I could see him, my third friend.

I continued down, we gathered, looked back, and were thankful.

The story my friend told sounded simple.
Ski cut, convex, rocky, just popped out. Got dragged, managed to ski out near the bottom.

I knew better.
I had spoke of the GSA, I had spread his gospel.
My friends had listened, wanted to be enlightened.
The GSA had looked down on us and with is mighty benevolence had parted the avalanche of snow. Saved a life, a family.
How much mercy he had shown us.

ALL PRAISE THE MIGHTY GSA






Believe

[b0ardski]

powerful testimony Maximus, may the pow(d)er of the benevolent GSA bless us all



brooding contemplation, stoic aloofness, benevolence to humanity, only Keanu Reeves could pull off the portrayal.

[Trackhead]

Someone needs to consolidate all the high points of this thread for those of us who lack the ability to read all 32 pages. Thanks in advance, and happy hunting!

[Bottleman]

Someone needs to consolidate all the high points of this thread for those of us who lack the ability to read all 32 pages. Thanks in advance, and happy hunting!

Unpossible.

[::: :::]

All these pages and no "GSA" alias?!?

TGR trolls are slipping

[Soups]

All these pages and no "GSA" alias?!?

TGR trolls are slipping

If someone were to troll with a GSA alias that would be the ultimate in Blasphemy. I think everyone realizes this and bows down in humility.

[wheels]

All hail the benevolant GSA

I have but a humble offering to make. Since this devine thread was started I have laughed and cryed from laughing so hard, but i fear the days of the GSA living without knowledge of his benevolance are comming to a close. What shall become of the GSA when he unsuspectedly peers down in the ski school line and sees his own devine image on a maggots skis? Will this force him into hiding or perhaps cause him to change his holy robes so tracking him becomes a near impossibility.... I fear we may lose the Gaper Spirit Animal that has brought us all such joy and laughter.

All that being said I would shit myself if I saw a sticker with my image on it and had no idea what it was about...Ill take 4

[biff chalupa]

I would shit myself if I saw a sticker with my image on it and had no idea what it was about...

Or how about a t-shirt with you riding a unicorn? We're hoping self awareness will be a joyous occasion for the GSA, as he is a revered deity at this point. I am told he'll probably own it, and actually enjoy his new found notoriety. And if not, I should get a heads up to delete all associated info, which would just make his legend grow. believe.

[AK47bp]

All hail the benevolant GSA

I have but a humble offering to make. Since this devine thread was started I have laughed and cryed from laughing so hard, but i fear the days of the GSA living without knowledge of his benevolance are comming to a close. What shall become of the GSA when he unsuspectedly peers down in the ski school line and sees his own devine image on a maggots skis? Will this force him into hiding or perhaps cause him to change his holy robes so tracking him becomes a near impossibility.... I fear we may lose the Gaper Spirit Animal that has brought us all such joy and laughter.

All that being said I would shit myself if I saw a sticker with my image on it and had no idea what it was about...Ill take 4

I answer your question with another. What did Jesus do when he found he was the son of god? Being a humble carpenter (investment banker) traveling the land performing amazing miracles (brother Maximus witness to the Parting of the Avy). You see the journey of discovery we are witnessing in using this medium is no different than the scribes scribbling on their leather skins or stone etchings. His mother, The virgin Sherry, she went on a pilgrimage to Alaska to cleanse her sinful life, upon her return her vehicle collided with a radio shack delivery truck with prototype helmet cam technology They removed a bastard child from her loins before she left this world.........Here we are today bearing witness

[b0ardski]

I haven't had this much fun in a single (dare I say epic) thread ever. although <3carving was a good time

[Badekoo]

For the record, the GSA was not observed at Szklarska Poreba on the Poland-Czech Republic border this past weekend. I think it is safe to assume that the GSA, should it take it's almighty skills to Europe, will stay focused in the central Alps and not the non-Carpathian mountains of eastern Europe.

[Jax]

^^We must get this added to the emoticon list. It is the least we can do. Adornment, if you will.

[admx]

Behold, the word of ULLR. After sharing many a drink of Winter, the spirit and vision of the Gaper Spirit Animal and ULLR shared these teachings with me.

Please my brothers share in the teachings of ULLR and the prophecy of the Gaper Spirit Animal.

Below are the writings of the apostle admx:

Chapter 1: The awakening

And so it was foretold for millennia that ULLR would return to the Earth realm.
ULLR in his greatness would choose a vassal of flesh to bring the sprit of winter
back to man.

And it was so. In the winter of two thousand ten and one in the land of New York
on the ocean of Atlantic in the town of Manhattan. ULLR appeared during the
time of man known as the Snowpocalypse.

ULLR found his vassal in the temple of Morgan Stanley, and he appeared before
this body of flesh and said “Yeah on to you the chosen vassal of ULLR, the god
and spirit of Winter. It has been foretold that I would return to the Earth realm
and be among men. You will become me in flesh, I will bestow a pawn you the
majestic nature of the Unicorn, the quickness of the Eagle, and the strength of
the Great bear.”

And it was so.

ULLR declared the chosen one to be the Gaper Sprit Animal and he said “Go forth
In the temple of Morgan Stanley and train, and become strong like the Great bear, fast
like the Eagle and majestic as a Unicorn; for you are me in the flesh”

And it was so.


Chapter 2: The divine equipping

For day, year and a fortnight the chosen one trained and once he was strong
as the Great bear, quick as an Eagle and his being shown with the majesty of
the Unicorn. ULLR appeared before himself again.

“You are me in the flesh and as such you shall fashion your self in my image”

“Go forth and acquire the tools of Winter and spear no expense. For you are
ULLR in the flesh among men and shall need no more no less than a harness, shovel,
beacon and probe. Adorn your great helm of Winter with no less than two GoPro
and one Contour HD. For this is like the helm of old and will strike fear in the
non-believers”

And it was so.



Chapter 3: The evangelization of man

It was foretold that ULLR would return to the Earth realm in the Flesh and bring
forth the Gaper Spirit Animal. The benevolent Gaper Spirit Animal would bring
the teachings of ULLR to mankind to bring back the old ways and the
spirit of Winter.

And it was so.

ULLR appeared before the Gaper Spirit Animal and declared, “You are me
in the flesh, I have bestowed on to you the strength of the Great bear, the
quickness of the Eagle, and your spirit shines with the majesty of the
Unicorn. You have fashioned your self in my image and built the
helm of Winter; spearing no expense.”

“Go forth for you are me in the flesh and spread the word and spirit of
Winter. Venture to the county of the Eagle, spread the prophecy in
the valley of the Great Salt Lake. Nor forget the land of what was
once two resorts and is now one with on great glacier. Travel and
spread my word far and wide spear no expense.

ULLR declared “The winter solstice in the age of man two thousand,
ten and two shall bring a great awakening and the spirit of Winter
will forever be.”

“Alas be warned of the false prophets, those from the zones of alpine,
and the members of the clan of the internet trolls. For they will bring
blasphemy.”

“Hark on to you myself in the flesh, for the followers of ULLR will
be known as maggots, and not fully known to you. For that is your
chosen destiny as the Gaper Spirit Animal”

And it was so.

The word of ULLR. Praise be onto him, hail the Gaper Spirit Animal.

[TahoeJ]

I fear the GSA has gone underground. Maybe his training is complete and he's heading for AK? Or perhaps he'll head due south to the PNW to further hone his skills? Maggots in these areas should be on alert for a possible resurfacing.

[SgtSkidmark]

I fear the GSA has gone underground. Maybe his training is complete and he's heading for AK? Or perhaps he'll head due south to the PNW to further hone his skills? Maggots in these areas should be on alert for a possible resurfacing.

I am prepared for His coming here in Oregon. I purchased a surplus of GoPro batteries, set them ablaze, and did the Kevin Costner Ta-Tonka dance while flapping my arms like an eagle around the blue fire. That should bring the holy GSA for sure. I am ready to face my maker.