Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[mrburns]

Heard this one on Monday...


"Keystone is really good"

[MumblingSkiBum]

So far this year I've heard "double-tippers" used twice.

"I'm looking into getting a pair of double tippers".

"Oh I don't want double-tippers. I don't do much terraining."

And I always hear this and it pisses me off everytime.

"Do you guys have those SHAPED skis?" They say "shaped" like this is some new shit that not everyone knows about yet. Fuck! Also, "do you have "afterski" boots?" Do you mean fucking boots you dickhead?

or.... "Do your ski rentals come with skis, boots AND poles?" No lady, we want to make this as confusing as possible so you get one pole, two skis and one boot. "Do you guys rent gloves, goggles (and best yet) long underwear?" Yea you cheap ass dickface, we really want to rent "long underwear" as you call it then wash your balls off them everyday.

Definitely just cracked me up the most. Told so charmingly:/

Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using TGR Forums

[biff chalupa]

^^^That one is phenomenal. Thanks for the reminder.

[TahoeJ]

Hear this one at least a few times every season, last Saturday was the first so far this year (after about a foot of fresh overnight): "This sucks. They didn't groom any of the trails."

[PowerWhore7]

A gaper is a gaper even if they are not on a mountain, correct?





disclaimer: none of them were handicapped, just stupid.

[Anospa]

First day using the contour, didn't know I had it going for this until I got home and saw it. You can see me scramble to try and turn it on covertly.

[TransplantedFromRMNP]

love to see the Luv in here!

was up there yesterday w/ my co-worker. he snowboards very rarely these days, like 1 or 2 days a season. we had fun, the snow was good everywhere, especially off 4.

we went down cat's meow a few times and he did the falling leaf/heelside edge down a good section of the lower section. i just skied my line and said nothing about this faux pas.

A bit later on the lift he asks me, "what do they do about snowboarders like me who push the powder down the slope? Do they take it back up to the top?" I said "No, they just groom it out on the flats @ the base of the run." didn't wanna be a dick and tell him he was doing it wrong.

I have been in this type of situation a few times, where I am skiing with a co-worker or friend who isn't a "enthusiast" like everyone on TGR and they do things that just make things more difficult or look like a gaptastic spectacle i.e.: they carry their skis and poles in an awkward way, wear inappropriate clothing like carharts or jeans, using equipment thats barely appropriate like a 146cm board for a 5'10'' 175lb guy or skiing on 15yr old AT gear. what do you do in this situation? be a coach and say you are doing it wrong or let them exist in their nieveity? i try to have a good time whereever and with whomever i am skiing. gotta keep it fun right? but sometimes i am a bit embarrassed.

not to mention that riding with them really brings down my cred @ the local shred hill
anybody else experience something like this?

[tetzen]

"Hey I have one of those beacon thingies too! Can you teach me how to use it?"

Why do you have it? "It's for when I ski in the backcountry!"

[jonesy]

love to see the Luv in here!

was up there yesterday w/ my co-worker. he snowboards very rarely these days, like 1 or 2 days a season. we had fun, the snow was good everywhere, especially off 4.

we went down cat's meow a few times and he did the falling leaf/heelside edge down a good section of the lower section. i just skied my line and said nothing about this faux pas.

A bit later on the lift he asks me, "what do they do about snowboarders like me who push the powder down the slope? Do they take it back up to the top?" I said "No, they just groom it out on the flats @ the base of the run." didn't wanna be a dick and tell him he was doing it wrong.

I have been in this type of situation a few times, where I am skiing with a co-worker or friend who isn't a "enthusiast" like everyone on TGR and they do things that just make things more difficult or look like a gaptastic spectacle i.e.: they carry their skis and poles in an awkward way, wear inappropriate clothing like carharts or jeans, using equipment thats barely appropriate like a 146cm board for a 5'10'' 175lb guy or skiing on 15yr old AT gear. what do you do in this situation? be a coach and say you are doing it wrong or let them exist in their nieveity? i try to have a good time whereever and with whomever i am skiing. gotta keep it fun right? but sometimes i am a bit embarrassed.

not to mention that riding with them really brings down my cred @ the local shred hill
anybody else experience something like this?

I could give a shit about my statues as a local ripper or how my friends ride,as long as they are not disrespectful or dangerous. Jeans no, working on the hill is hard on gear. Trash a $400-$700 coat? or a $50 Carhart jacket.

[PowerWhore7]

what do you do in this situation? be a coach and say you are doing it wrong or let them exist in their nieveity?
anybody else experience something like this?

My wife and I call each other out all day long on who is being the bigger gaper. Now, I am the first person to not give a FUCK about what other people think but mountain etiquette is something that my family values and takes very seriously. So being efficient on the mountain, whether it be carrying your skis properly or not stopping in a traverse line are important lessons and in my opinion these infractions should be called out if not photographed or recorded and posted for your embarrassment.

“Learn monkey, learn!”

My wife...

[time2clmb]

On a traverse at KH...skied up to and stopped under who I thought was my buddy blocking him from dropping in. Looking down at my skis "What's up choad, move along there's nothing to see here". Looked up and it was 3 random dudes giving me the WTF look lol.....oops.

[HotCarl]

First day using the contour, didn't know I had it going for this until I got home and saw it. You can see me scramble to try and turn it on covertly.

Wtf? I'm still waiting for the funny part....fail,gaper

Go ride,instead of awkwardly staring at people and TRYING to find something to laugh at them about. Shit,i probably wouldve laughed at you for having the gopro out for such a clearly awesome day. I'm all for laughing at dumbasses but that wasn't even good. And you're twat waffle friend that was staring EVEN harder was worse....

[Anospa]

Yeah, quite the awesome day if you like boilerplate, to each their own I guess. I was laughing because the lady that pulls up sticks her poles into solid ice and tries to reposition them and sticks them right into the same solid iceplate and they fall over.

I wasn't trying to find something to laugh about, I just happened to have this happen in front of me and the camera was going. Go have fun being a local, clearly that's working well for you.

[Lamothe]

On the lift at sunshine today . Some gaper next to me wanted to make sure i understood how awesome he was/ " no one fucking does anything any more back in the day we would be pulling back scratchers and helicopters off these jumps ( drops to flat/cat track on wawa) I mean you kids all have those double tips and all so why not ? " i started bobing my head pretending i had an i pod

[HotCarl]

Yeah, quite the awesome day if you like boilerplate, to each their own I guess.

Exactly.....I bet that NoPro footage was epic!

[old goat]

WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (screamed by some guy each and every unlinked low speed stem turn he made on Sherwood South Face today. It was like watching a women's tennis match). (It was pretty nice corn if you managed to miss the rocks.)

Son: Can we sprint the last 1/4 mile?
Me: I am sprinting

[stuckathuntermtn]

Every time you sideslip, it kills a kitten.

Sent from my DROID2

[gaijin]

I was laughing because the lady that pulls up sticks her poles into solid ice and tries to reposition them and sticks them right into the same solid iceplate and they fall over.

You've never done that? Tried twice then said fuck it and let them lay on the ground? 4 or 7 times might have been funny, but twice is standard. Apparently you didn't grow up racing boiler plate. Also, if you can't turn a sunny ice day into an awesome day of hauling ass then you're skiing wrong.

Wait... are you on a snowboard heckling old women with more experience with ski poles than yourself? Hard to tell by the video what you're riding.

[Anospa]

You've never done that? Tried twice then said fuck it and let them lay on the ground? 4 or 7 times might have been funny, but twice is standard. Apparently you didn't grow up racing boiler plate. Also, if you can't turn a sunny ice day into an awesome day of hauling ass then you're skiing wrong.

Wait... are you on a snowboard heckling old women with more experience with ski poles than yourself? Hard to tell by the video what you're riding.

Yup, snowboard, don't play with poles.

[scott499]

I wont even list all the comments that were made, but it all started after accepting a coors light from some gaper while parking cars...

Me on the lift: Those are interesting looking skis, man are they wide and HUGE!
Gaper: After the required "thats what she said" joke, he explained 5 dimensional skis and how he was breaking in skis/boots.
Me: What are the different dimensions for?
Gaper: Smaller tip for groomers, larger mid section for aerodynamics while spinning in air, underfoot for pow, wider rear section for bumps only, and smaller tail for rooster tails at mach ten.
Me: Really?! Thats so cool, I should try a pair of those. Do they come in my size?
Gaper: (Looks down at my 165 white tail shreddin skis) Um I dont think so.
Me: Whats the backpack for? Were ONLY at white tail.
Gaper: For gapers like you. He then pulls out a coors and a knife, stabs a hole in the can like some deranged frat boy, shotguns the beer, crushes can, puts it back in the backpack (at least he dosent litter), turns up some Justin Bieber, and starts staring at some black chicks huge ass.

[CMSIV]

I wont even list all the comments that were made, but it all started after accepting a coors light from some gaper while parking cars...

Me on the lift: Those are interesting looking skis, man are they wide and HUGE!
Gaper: After the required "thats what she said" joke, he explained 5 dimensional skis and how he was breaking in skis/boots.
Me: What are the different dimensions for?
Gaper: Smaller tip for groomers, larger mid section for aerodynamics while spinning in air, underfoot for pow, wider rear section for bumps only, and smaller tail for rooster tails at mach ten.
Me: Really?! Thats so cool, I should try a pair of those. Do they come in my size?
Gaper: (Looks down at my 165 white tail shreddin skis) Um I dont think so.
Me: Whats the backpack for? Were ONLY at white tail.
Gaper: For gapers like you. He then pulls out a coors and a knife, stabs a hole in the can like some deranged frat boy, shotguns the beer, crushes can, puts it back in the backpack (at least he dosent litter), turns up some Justin Bieber, and starts staring at some black chicks huge ass.

Zing....

[TomCrac]

Not necessarily a quote but funny (to me at least) ..... The other day out on the hill, I come down this trail that basically does a 90 degree elbow turn near the bottom. There are two guys stopped at the turn, one getting up off his face, his buddy laughing behind him. I go to move what I thought was a rock off the trail. When I got closer I realize its a semi flatened beer can. I stab it with my pole and realize that its half full as its pissing out, I fling it by the fence. Then I see the guy who was on his face, standing, emptying his pockets (baggy pants) of two more busted , pissing smashed beer cans. The guy was a mess for sure. He just started apologizing for clogging up the turn. I just started laughing and said... No problem dude..That is awesome! His buddy almost pissed himself. Oh yeah, the kicker, ... This was about 10 AM.

[Tunco]

First day using the contour, didn't know I had it going for this until I got home and saw it. You can see me scramble to try and turn it on covertly.

HaHa, you sound like a fucking JONG.

[shenanigans]

girl in liftline at Highlands this weekend...........
"there was pow, I mean it wasn't gnar pow,but there was pow"
painful

[NWskibum]

"it was only four inches but I rode the shit out of it"
-lady at WP Monday