Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[wolfelot]

Hilarious stuff on here guys. Donkeykong your stuff was CLASSIC! Sorry you had to put up with that.

[TahoeJ]

I've passed up on ski trips with people specifically to avoid DonkeyKong's experience, because I knew it would go that way and I'd just be pissed. Cringing the whole time I read that.

[MJbumper1121]

I've passed up on ski trips with people specifically to avoid DonkeyKong's experience, because I knew it would go that way and I'd just be pissed.

+1 I don't have the time off work or money in my account to risk on scenarios like these.. yikes!

[alpinevibes]

I stopped in to get our Aspen passes last week. We're chatting with the lady at the desk through the process and she mentioned the surprising amount of tourists who had come in late last season demanding ticket refunds because it was "snowing too much out there."

Also had an older guy at CB walk across the street and ask my wife and I if they allowed ski boots on the town ski bus. I replied: "umm... yes, you should be good man." He proceeded to stand and stare for an awkward 5 seconds at our skis/gear. Saw him that afternoon walking around the deck of the Butte 66 in socks with his rear-entries over his shoulder.

[Dave Marshack]

I work as a on mountain gear tech on Blackcomb. The little hut by solar coaster and the peak to peak for those in the know. I have so many locally specific quotes its not even funny. The one thing I have learned is not to be an asshole to any gaper. They pay retail on everything and pretty much keep the ski industry going so they are A ok in my books.

[jetski]

Atta boy Dave... Take the high road. I work in the industry and have way too many quotes to even start. Making fun of idiots that don't ski or live in the mountains is too easy. Now the know-it-all hardcore experts are worth a laugh for sure! I will come up with a few for later...

[Bobcat Sig]

Just so we remember some classics from years ago.

Love that one. While guiding in Vail, I had flat-landers repeatedly ask me at what elevation do the deer turn into elk. Oh ... the lulz!

[linvillegorge]

The one thing I have learned is not to be an asshole to any gaper. They pay retail on everything and pretty much keep the ski industry going so they are A ok in my books.

You have spoken the truth. The people like most of us that wear their passes out, pack a lunch, and pocket a flask aren't keeping the mountains open, that's for sure.

[keipow]

At tire shop today, overheard:

person: i want some winter tires.
mech: sure, we've got them.
person: i'm driving to Alaska from Seattle, should i mount studded tires?
mech: are you shipping the car there?
person: no, driving right tomorrow.
mech: studded tires are good on ice, but not much else, and may not be best for long distance driving.
person: hmm, mount the studded ones anyway.

(my turn to try to get a flat fixed)

person interrupts: do you have chains that will fit my studded tires?
mech: you probably shouldn't mount chains with studded tires.
person: (bla bla bla), i want to be prepared, setup me up with chains for my studded tires.
me: you know it would be slow driving on chains and studded snows right?
person: slower is safer.

Good luck driving Seattle to Alaska on studded tires.

[HotCarl]

Some great reads today. Donkeykong and Leroy especially,Nateski....not so much. I feel I've hung out with those same people. There are skiers and then there are SKIERS.

StuckinOhio's reminded me of one of my own encounters. It happened a couple years ago so I forget specifics. I was parked front row at Monarch when some total Mtn yuppies pull up in their Land Rover. There was not even half a space beside my truck,and a big,crusty,icy snow bank in the other half of the space. Luckily I was sitting in my truck eating lunch and smoking dessert. I watched them pull in to the spot.....the LR was on two wheels at un-godly angle,and I was trapped in my truck,couldn't even open the door. I rolled down the window and said "really?" Cunty,entitled wife just started yelling at me like I was the hired help. Swearing ensued...eventually they pouted off(moved) secretly knowing they were in the wrong and pissed that they couldn't have that glorious front row spot.

I really wish I had a picture of her,that story would've been way more entertaining.

[ck800]

I work as a on mountain gear tech on Blackcomb. The little hut by solar coaster and the peak to peak for those in the know. I have so many locally specific quotes its not even funny. The one thing I have learned is not to be an asshole to any gaper. They pay retail on everything and pretty much keep the ski industry going so they are A ok in my books.

so true, so true.

although i do cringe when i see a complete gaper skiing blues on brand new hellbents with jester pros...

[XtrPickels]

You think these are bad, try having triathletes as patients.

There is a difference between "people who do triathlons" and "triathletes".

The later thinks its appropriate to position themselves on their bikes so they can only see 10 feet in front of them...

[TheDon]

Some great reads today. Donkeykong and Leroy especially,Nateski....not so much.

Ya nate, that is some lame S. Hope you don't hit anyone's kids and end up in prison.

[donkeykong]

yo Donkykong,

you seemed to spend alota time with your girlfriendz sister ...

der poopenhousen ???

She has 3 sisters, and the gaping was spread around equally. Fortunately my GF has been on my trips where I have no tolerance for that sort of thing. She learns well and that's a big reason she might get promoted soon.

I've passed up on ski trips with people specifically to avoid DonkeyKong's experience, because I knew it would go that way and I'd just be pissed. Cringing the whole time I read that.

+1 I don't have the time off work or money in my account to risk on scenarios like these.. yikes!

Well it wasn't all bad. Lodging and lift tickets were complimentary, which was very generous, plus I only put up with it for one day. It was spring, I didn't care. If it was dumping, and I was paying, it would have been another story...but the nice thing about fair weather skiers is that they take lots of days off too. After Day 1 I learned my lesson and headed up on my own and met some amazingly friendly locals on lifts who graciously allowed me to tag along. Without them I wouldn't have had so much fun in CB...I will definitely be back.

Choose your ski friends wisely.

[Shadam]

how can you tell a ski guide at the bar ... don't worry. he'll tell you.

wotz the diff between a ski guide and God ??? God doesn't think he's a ski guide.

wot do ski guides and condoms have in common ??? its safer with one, but more fun without.

needless to say, I've had a few run ins

[jonesy]

Speaking of skiing relatives........
Daughter-I have steel edges on my race skis and use to ski over 70 mph when I raced. Then I crashed so I quit racing..... Sure you did honey.
Brother in law-I use to be an Extreme skier.....Okie-Dokie.

[steezybomber]

Sitting at a bar with three buddies BS-ing about skiing this season. All of us are skiers. 1 is from Upstate NY and is a good skier. rocks out 200 straight skis, skis bumps. Other two are skiers but never skied with them. One is a self-proclaimed intermediate, never skied out west, only EC (call him noob). He starts talking about his buddy (we'll call him Jong) and how he's the sickest skier around. And then theres me, I like to think I can hold own.

Noob: Dude, Jong is the best skier around. Best technique, theres no way you can keep up with him.
Me: "Shares a sarcastic look with upstate NY skier". Cool man, I look forward to skiing with you.
Noob: NO dude, you'll just be trying hard to keep up. Hes so good.
Me: Nice dude, should make for some fun turns this winter. What skis do you rock?
Jong: Volkl tigershark powerswitch (or w/e) in 177.
Me: Muffles a laugh. Word, heard those skis...coughs...are butter. ha
Jong: Butter?
Noob: No way can you keep up. He grew up with private lessons, in VAIL!
Me: Not able to control my laughing at this point. Thats super sweet bro, vail is..umm...fun family place. What kind of skiing do you do? GS, bumps, BC, gates, park etc ?
Jong: What's GS ?
Me/Upstate NY: Are you effn kidding me?
Noob: Dude, private lessons!
Me: Noob I get it, you want to sandusky Jong over here, shut it. Jong, what kinda of sessioning to like to do?
Jong: Not sure what sessions are, but have you have skied the BACK BOWLS of VAIL?! Awesome on a pow day!
Me: Laughing, yea brah, those back bowls are super gnarly...i wish I could be as sick of a skier as you, haha. I got up and left laughing.

[HotCarl]

What the fuck is it about "the back bowls" that makes them so rad to tourists? Like it's some secret,gnar,locals only powder stash?

[steezybomber]

^ Carl, you got me man. ever single person that thinks Vail is awesome, immediately says "back bowls" as if its some secret handshake to instantly get respect. apparently its a super secret shred stash that only the most core tourists go to.

as soon as someone who i dont know, says something about the back bowls in a manner to bump up their steez-o-meter, i instantly laugh and excuse myself from the conversation.

[Bobcat Sig]

What the fuck is it about "the back bowls" that makes them so rad to tourists? Like it's some secret,gnar,locals only powder stash?

The Vail marketing machine clearly works.

[Kim Jong-un]

You think these are bad, try having triathletes as patients.

There is a difference between "people who do triathlons" and "triathletes".

The later thinks its appropriate to position themselves on their bikes so they can only see 10 feet in front of them...

Ah yes...triathletes

[Yanos]

At tire shop today, overheard:

person: i want some winter tires.
mech: sure, we've got them.
person: i'm driving to Alaska from Seattle, should i mount studded tires?
mech: are you shipping the car there?
person: no, driving right tomorrow.
mech: studded tires are good on ice, but not much else, and may not be best for long distance driving.
person: hmm, mount the studded ones anyway.

(my turn to try to get a flat fixed)

person interrupts: do you have chains that will fit my studded tires?
mech: you probably shouldn't mount chains with studded tires.
person: (bla bla bla), i want to be prepared, setup me up with chains for my studded tires.
me: you know it would be slow driving on chains and studded snows right?
person: slower is safer.

Good luck driving Seattle to Alaska on studded tires.

Not sure I agree with you mechanic. If it is studded, it most likely a winter tire, which will be superior to a all-weather or summer tire, assuming that these are what he already had mounted. Chains on the other hand...


Took one of my snowboarder friends out for an after work one-lap. It was her first backcountry day this year on her split-board. Light was diminishing and we decided on a run. Boarder chick points it and explodes into a ball of airborne snow 50-75' down. "Are you OK?" I her a muffled response. Ski down to check on her. "I must be way out of practice," she responds. I look down as she is about to try another attack on the run. I ask "Hey, is that your typical stance?" She looks down and realizes that her toes are pointed toward eachother. When transitioning she had slid her bindings in the opposite direction...

[neufox47]

At tire shop today, overheard:

person: i want some winter tires.
mech: sure, we've got them.
person: i'm driving to Alaska from Seattle, should i mount studded tires?
mech: are you shipping the car there?
person: no, driving right tomorrow.
mech: studded tires are good on ice, but not much else, and may not be best for long distance driving.
person: hmm, mount the studded ones anyway.

(my turn to try to get a flat fixed)

person interrupts: do you have chains that will fit my studded tires?
mech: you probably shouldn't mount chains with studded tires.
person: (bla bla bla), i want to be prepared, setup me up with chains for my studded tires.
me: you know it would be slow driving on chains and studded snows right?
person: slower is safer.

Good luck driving Seattle to Alaska on studded tires.

Umm, yeah, total idiot. Guy probably wanted some piece of shit like the Hakkapeliitta 7's hey?

[Lindahl]

I ask "Hey, is that your typical stance?" She looks down and realizes that her toes are pointed toward eachother. When transitioning she had slid her bindings in the opposite direction...

How... the... hell... do you not realize this!? Awesome story man.

[toast2266]

Took one of my snowboarder friends out for an after work one-lap. It was her first backcountry day this year on her split-board. Light was diminishing and we decided on a run. Boarder chick points it and explodes into a ball of airborne snow 50-75' down. "Are you OK?" I her a muffled response. Ski down to check on her. "I must be way out of practice," she responds. I look down as she is about to try another attack on the run. I ask "Hey, is that your typical stance?" She looks down and realizes that her toes are pointed toward eachother. When transitioning she had slid her bindings in the opposite direction...

Sitting here trying to point my toes at each other. She must be flexible.