Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**bendtheski** · 04-13-2011, 08:51 AM

Originally Posted by Crock

My dad worked at Killington for 15 or so years- mostly the night snowmaking shift. One night he's headed down Ramshead on a sled, and spots a pair of headlights coming up Header. After investigating, he pulls up next to a Hummer spinning it's wheels stuck in the snow. Hummer had Jersey plates (honestly), and the driver said "guy who sold it to me said it would climb killington!"

I actually know this guy and have heard him tell the story. It was one of the original military style Hummers, not the glorified soccer mom SUV's they sell today.
Ex. Pro Mogul skier Dave Frendel.
Pretty sure there was copious amounts of alcohol and other flamables involved.
Still lives in Jersey and still a gaper. Not a bad guy though.
I think he sold the Hummer after a year or so because of shitty gas mileage (and possibly because of a penile implant).

And yes, I do constantly tell him I'm a better skier than him.

**azphi** · 04-13-2011, 09:36 AM

A couple weekends ago we are at Snowbird. I'm putting on my boots and dropping the f and s bombs cause they are a bitch. The guy next to me says, "would it be easier to put on the liner first the slide it into the shell"?! I thought that was pretty funny.

**Wooster** · 04-13-2011, 07:19 PM

"Pole straps are retention devices and therefore the skiers code says you have to wear them."

**Sinecure** · 04-13-2011, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by azphi

A couple weekends ago we are at Snowbird. I'm putting on my boots and dropping the f and s bombs cause they are a bitch. The guy next to me says, "would it be easier to put on the liner first the slide it into the shell"?! I thought that was pretty funny.

Gaper quote's on you. Lots of people do it that way. A lot of the new lace-up liners require it. Seems like a major PITA to me, but I watch instructors and racers do it all the time.

**MarcusBrody** · 04-13-2011, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by Sinecure

Gaper quote's on you. Lots of people do it that way. A lot of the new lace-up liners require it. Seems like a major PITA to me, but I watch instructors and racers do it all the time.

But still not as impressive as the guy who reported that some crazy gaper had skiied past him, looked him in the eye and declared that he was the best skier on the mountain. That single post validated all the time I've spent checking this thread.

**Shadam** · 04-13-2011, 08:57 PM

True story ...

as usual I'm baked as a burnt cupcake,
I hand my board to the hot lifty chicky,

she says "are you a pro?"

Before I could mumble incoherently,

She says "coz I'm such a better rider than you!"

she bounces away skipping and high fives her friends on the way to put my board in the gondi rack.

I so got spanked ...

and she is so hot ...

But i'm stoked to have that call out on me ...

**skioride** · 04-25-2011, 06:43 PM

As I rode up the Lenawee chair today at Abasin, getting ready to make some more turns in the deep pow of the East Wall some idiot said to his friend: "This mountain is boring and stupid because there is no lift service up there" He was pointing to Willies and the North Pole.
Another day more powder.

**Laurent** · 08-27-2011, 03:26 AM

At what altitude.... :big grin:

Now more seriously:

French Alps, Avoriaz just waiting for the big six seater at the bottom of the resort, standing next to a French dude with a GoPro and a woman with probably her son (like nine or so). I asked the French dude about his GoPro, he replied to me that he was so stoked to get some footage, he just got it.

A few moments later, it is our turn to board the chair, we slide forward, sit down and almost instantly, this woman slams down the bar with incredible strength. However, the Frenchman was leaning forward a bit so she smashed of his GoPro and it went flying through the air and landed in the thick snow after the ramp..

Moreover, when we got to the top we wanted to pull the bar up but she kept it down saying: "it wasn't safe". She basically made the lifty stop the lift at the and then she pulled the bar up. Lifty was seriously pissed and verbally abused her in French. Her son was ashamed.

I accompanied the guy down to the resort again to search for the GoPro (i sort of saw were it landed) and when we got there we found out that one of the lifties at the bottom had already retrieved it. So that was pretty cool.

But I feel sorry for that woman's son..

I don't know why some people have to slam the bar down immediately and with so much force, during my holiday I've been hit in the back of the head a couple of times.

**brannen** · 08-27-2011, 09:28 AM

This thread would be Hilarious in the kayak forum if there were more raft guides on here. . . .those people make the "at what altitude" questions seem brilliant

**The Duke of Hurl** · 08-27-2011, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by Lawrence.

I don't know why some people have to slam the bar down immediately and with so much force, during my holiday I've been hit in the back of the head a couple of times.

Main reason I wear a helmet.

**narc** · 08-27-2011, 05:41 PM

Originally Posted by Lawrence.

I don't know why some people have to slam the bar down immediately and with so much force, during my holiday I've been hit in the back of the head a couple of times.

In France I had a couple slam the bar down so fast the chair hadn't even left the loading area and the footrests were dragging in the snow so hard the lift got stopped by a french lifty rolling his eyes. Yes I did get smacked on the head and yes I was wearing a helmet.

**TwinTipFlip** · 08-27-2011, 07:29 PM

Crested Butte Spring Break.

Its the semi annual time of the year when punk ass gapers are up from the front range to ski around like they own the mountain. (keep in mind this is Crested Butte, which is similar to Jackson in terrain, and these idiots are showing off the rad butters and hockey stops in the base area, or not stopping and flying thru the base area, cause there that good....

So the lift lines are as big as they get during spring break, and three kids start tossing snowballs up on the Butte 66 patio from the cover of the lift line. They are nailing people left and right, then these kids really send one hard and it drills, i mean drills a pregnant lady in the head.

So the lift line is following the bro code, and definitely lets the hubby know where these three punks are. He walks up and inform the kids (20 year oldish) where the last snowball went, and kindly asks for just an apology. They respond in the typical, fuck you old man, what are you gonna do?! tone... The kids keep insulting this guy, and he takes the path less chosen and walks away...

I am pissed, I am ready to deck these kids, but I am in uniform at ski school and there is not much I can do.

So the line alternates and I end up on the lift two chairs behind these kids, and decide there is nothing really to do while in uniform. I am fuming becausethese kids just got away with hitting the preggy lady in the head, and not to mention probably startling a few people into spilling there beers up on the patio.

There chair is next to unload at the top, and the lift suddenly stops. These kids are five feet from the unload ramp. They can taste the freedom ahead. Coincidence? No.

GAME OVER SON.

Out of nowhere Ski patrol swoops out from the woods to the right of the chair, a second patroller comes down from a ski run to the left of the chair, a third ski patroller steps out of the lifty shack. These kids are fucked. No where to run, and even if they did CB ski patrol would FSU.

passes: pulled. Blacklisted: hell yes.

Not really a gaper quote, but rather an story were they get served for being gapers.

**DJ2** · 08-27-2011, 08:02 PM

Now THAT is excellent, although a night in jail and a criminal assault complaint would've made it perfect. Still, 99/100 ain't bad.

**TahoeJ** · 08-27-2011, 11:23 PM

Good story, but I wanted something more. Someone fucks with your pregnant wife, you've got a free pass to do whatever you want and a judge won't care. Snowballs should be reserved for your friends, last chairs of the season (as per tradition) or someone who is clearly asking for it.

**Pukesno** · 08-28-2011, 01:09 PM

That story makes me so mad. What about all the men in the lift line, did they just act like nothing happened.
This is why these punks pull crap like this, they know nobody will get involved which is absolute bullshit. Everyone in line should have been reaming these guy's out and backing up the father. The fact that they even got on the lift pisses me off even more. Rant over.

**TwinTipFlip** · 08-28-2011, 07:39 PM

Everyone in the lift line was tourists...

**astralboy15** · 08-28-2011, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by TwinTipFlip

Not really a gaper quote, but rather an story were they get served for being gapers.

Gaper epic fail, anyways.

**Pukesno** · 08-29-2011, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by TwinTipFlip

Everyone in the lift line was tourists...

That's the problem, I bet nearly 75% of the people in the lift line were grown men, yet they did nothing. Pathetic.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 08-31-2011, 12:17 PM

page 66 in the new Powder. 'cause I'm so local.

**Xocomil** · 09-01-2011, 12:59 AM

Originally Posted by johngenx

In case you have nothing better to do...

I totally get that everyone is a beginner skier at some point, but the helmet cam & youtube posting is pretty awesome. I ski much better than that (I'm no slayer like lots of mags) and my cam footage, had I made any, would not be for public consumption. Boring and subject to ridicule...

3:54... "Dope."

**TwinTipFlip** · 09-01-2011, 10:23 PM

Holy Santa Claus Shit.

**Gnarcal** · 09-13-2011, 12:07 AM

While ski instructing in Mammoth a woman pulled me aside and asked if we took precautions against wildlife during the lessons. When I assured her that there weren't many bear or mt. lions around, she pointed to a deer out in the parking lot and said, (while moving her hand like a mouth) "What about those? Don't they bite?"

**bushman** · 09-13-2011, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by Xocomil

3:54... "Dope."

Super Big Sky Gnar!!

**cumicon** · 09-13-2011, 11:16 AM

From the 09/10 season. I'm riding up the Super Bravo at Sugarbush with two ski instructors. I'm minding my own business while they are chatting away. Instructor #1 mentions how little snow we have gotten this year. Instructor #2, "Yeah, I heard we are only supposed to get 2-4 inches for the rest of the year!" ... It was early February.

**jipstyle** · 09-20-2011, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by TwinTipFlip

Crested Butte Spring Break.
... <assholes assault pregnant lady> ...

GAME OVER SON.

Out of nowhere Ski patrol swoops out from the woods to the right of the chair, a second patroller comes down from a ski run to the left of the chair, a third ski patroller steps out of the lifty shack. These kids are fucked. No where to run, and even if they did CB ski patrol would FSU.

passes: pulled. Blacklisted: hell yes.

Not really a gaper quote, but rather an story were they get served for being gapers.

Bro .. that story made my day. My week. Seriously. I'm grinning ear-to-ear. Thanks!