Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[OverTurn]

You were mountain biking in a hotel??

I thought the same thing

[f2f]

every time i ride the lift with someone i don't know on a pow day i complain about the snow being too deep. gets the jongs all riled up.

(yes, i am a douche. why d'you ask?)

[Anospa]

I thought the same thing

Haha nope. The guy telling the story had just been on vacation. There was no mountain biking at any hotels, motels, nor holiday inns. I did have a very dry chicken dinner though.

[Shadam]

At castle today ...
Random chick and I on a traverse, the wind blows us both to a stop,
she unstraps back foot, looks at me still strapped in and says ...

"would you like a tug?"

I am the biggest loser, coz I got neither a happy ending nor a cell number

DOH !!!

[Shadam]

so that was the south traverse ...
earlier in the day on the north traverse ... (and less funny)

Random skier guy gives his snowboarder buddy 1 pole to push along.
Random snowboarder is a tool, and dangerous with said pole. natural stance.
I try to skate past him on his heel side/high side, as he trys to use pole to acheive nothing other than unbalancing himself and pushing himself over his heel edge.
and he falls backards on to my board and brains himself onto my front foot binding heel piece.

thus this brings me to a halt,
All I could do was quote cartman,
"Dude ... weak !!!"
so I attempt to shuffle/shimmy my way to momentum.
and manage to brain him with my back foot binding too!

Sweeeet ...

[stuckathuntermtn]

every time i ride the lift with someone i don't know on a pow day i complain about the snow being too deep. gets the jongs all riled up.

(yes, i am a douche. why d'you ask?)

I just ask people at random if they know where the moguls are kept in the summer. Usually they laugh.

[QuikR12]

and managed to brain him with my back foot binding too!

Sweeeet ...

Brain... isn't that ghetto slang for getting your cock sucked?

So you brained him?

[Mr. Multiglisse]

From my recent trip to Jay Peak:

Story 1-
Three twenty-something, well-dressed snowbowdahs walking across Stateside parking lot, looking at the last remaining t-bar on the mountain.

snowbowdah 1: See that lift? It's not a chair lift.
snowbowdah 2: So what is it?
snowbowdah 1: It's a t-baah.
snowbowdah 3: A t-baah, how do you go up that?
snowbowdah 1:I think you put the baah between your legs.
snowbowdah 2: OH.
snowbowdah 1: No wait a minute, you just hang on to it, and it pulls you up.

Oh man.... I wanted to follow them with my camera.

Story 2-
Gaperette in FirstTrax (core little ski shop), looking at swallowtail Prior splitboard. She yells across the (not very big) room to BF who is trying on helmets. "Hey, look at this - it's skis and snowboard all in one!" BF grunts through helmet. Shop guy cringes. She continues: "Did you hear me, it's skis and snowboard all in one! How cool is that! Did you hear me?" BF: "Yeah, Yeah." GF: "Then what did I just say?" By then I was snickering too much to keep on listening.

Story 3-
I did not hear this personally but got it from a highly reliable source:
Jay Peak "guest" storms into the administration office, needing to talk to "whoever is in charge." Her complaint is that she is very concerned about the "Gamma Rays" being emitted by the new RFID gates. Oh dear...

I looked it up: Gamma rays are caused by radioactive decay.

I would have asked her she perhaps uses a cell phone, or maybe has a microwave oven in her house, or lives near a power line, or...

[neufox47]

Jay Peak was pretty classic Monday and Tuesday. First there was a woman complaining in the lodge that she was going to have to walk all the way (2 minutes tops) to the Jet chairlift from the lodge and that she might not ski until they opened the other lifts that were on wind hold. Then I was on the chairlift with a mom and son who ran the gamut of gaper conversations. They started complaining about how the new snow was nice in the morning, but now they wish they would groom it, then it turned into the son complaining that there were "no good moguls, like in the competitions, some nice hard ones." The mom then told him that you don't want hard moguls to which the son replied that no, you want them hard thats why the moguls are concrete underneath the snow. The mom then told him that no, the competition moguls are made by a groomer for moguls.

[jonesy]

Got on a lift with skiracerdad kinda like soccermom. He's on the 2way hurling out orders to his subs (ppl of lesser importance) ect. Towards the top he announces that he's in a hurry and will long gone by the time the rest of us get off the lift. As we unload he flails and crash on the ramp. As I slither by I replied, Really.

[old goat]

At the top of Silverado:
Skier 1: "Is this Shirley Lake?"
Skier 2: (me): "Yes"

[imadoofus]

At the top of Silverado:
Skier 1: "Is this Shirley Lake?"
Skier 2: (me): "Yes"

This doesnt make skier 1 a gaper.
This does make you an asshole though.

[Shadam]

Fernie on saterdy, super dangerous day due to EPIC avys both inbounds and out.

waiting for timber chair to open,

older woman to older guy,
"when do they decide to open lifts?"

older guys says,
"they dig pits and put up rope lines"

and she bought that shit!
I nearly choked on my tic-tac !!!

no bullshit, that was his exact response,
I kept repeating it to remember it.

Putting up a rope line will tell patrol ???

[Edgnar]

Shadam, you are destroying this thread with your unfunny crap.

[counterfeitfake]

The mom then told him that no, the competition moguls are made by a groomer for moguls.

Gaper here-

How DO they make a competition mogul run? Same way any moguls are made?

[skibum_jr]

Competition moguls are made by a groomer. They use the front in a similar fashion to building terrain park jumps, but obviously not to the same degree. I have groomer buddies that have shown me how its done. If you google it, im sure you can find better details than i can give.

[Sinecure]

Stop that skibum. That's fucking mean.

OK, they can push some snow around on a steep enough run to get things started. But...

You make a competition bump line by getting a large crew of good bump skiers to ski the same set of lines over and over. It helps to start with a run that's already bumped up nicely.

[skibum_jr]

But they get a general line setup by a groomer first. If you notice how exact the bumps are in competitions you could see they have to have a starting point before the competitors come in and finish them off

http://wiki.fisski.com/index.php/Dev..._Moguls_Course

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye_sYMi5T2g

There you go

[counterfeitfake]

Well I think we all learned something today.

[Shadam]

Yo edge-of-gnar this is for you ...
at 1500, or is that 3pm for you metricly chalanged americans

Hukcin eh and I are skating out on the mtn bike trail back to the car at kicking horse after a good day in the slack-country when we come across a group of 4 (including 2 hot chicks) skinning up the skate out.

Ok, so they had another 3-4 hours of day light ... but ...
its plus 3c, and we had wet slides on the lower mtn gettin out!

and old guy on teles at the back of the group asks us ...
"how's the stability?"

Wot the fark do we say?
We sooooooo shoulda called them out for setting out so late in extreme avy conditions.

But we getting wetter by the minute,
and we want out of this lower mtn death trap.

alpine was -4c
tranny in the bowls was -2c
hope they survived

[mtngirl79]

since when is military, or 24 hour clock metric time?

this is metric time

http://www.minkukel.com/en/time/metric_clock.htm

and you are an ass.

[bad dancer]

Gaper here-

How DO they make a competition mogul run? Same way any moguls are made?

It sure as hell isn't done by allowing snowboarders on the run.

[Doober]

Stumbled across this last night, figured it needed to be here.

[johngenx]

"That's a snowboard run, not a ski run."

priceless

[f2f]

also "I didn't really get a chance to carve too much!"