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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

  1. #2951
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Minturn
    Posts
    732
    Could be mistaken for a gaper at Vail:



    Older guy skiing Forever under the 5 line

    in a Budweiser NASCAR jacket

    wearing a Budweiser cowboy hat

    skiing without poles

    drinking... a Budweiser




    You can't make this stuff up, and he was too awesome to look away & grab the cameraphone.
    o--/\
    --/(. \
    -/ .) ' \ go with respect, get to know your mountains
    /' (. ' |'\
    ' ' .) ' ,'

  2. #2952
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    11,076
    Coming from a self described "expert skier" and who is a PSIA level II instructor who is a total know it all byotch who loves to talk about her trips out West...

    I was describing skiing Mt. Washington, NH this weekend and I used the term bowl, as in "we traversed across the rim of the bowl before dropping in".

    "Bowl? What do you mean bowl?" I explain. "Oh we call those runs".

  3. #2953
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    SF & the Ho
    Posts
    11,035
    "I can't believe that bitch fired me for being late."
    How late were you?
    "Two hours, but she knew it was a powder day!"

  4. #2954
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    North of the GG Bridge, CA
    Posts
    919
    Quote Originally Posted by mcski View Post
    "I can't believe that bitch fired me for being late."
    How late were you?
    "Two hours, but she knew it was a powder day!"
    That wasn't a gaper, that was a maggot.

  5. #2955
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    not close enough
    Posts
    2,488
    riding up summit-6 at Alpine Meadows Saturday, having a quiet conversation to my buddy about the avy conditions (high) and pointing out each crown and propogated slide I see. I was somewhere around 6 or 7 when a guy across the chair, oblivious to the conversation I was having, says "Looks like avalanche activity was minimal" whilst our chair had been passing views of crown after crown, and is now directly facing a 30' x 1.5' deep crown in wolverine.

  6. #2956
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    860
    This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

    After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

    At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.

  7. #2957
    Helldawg Guest
    I declare this thread dead. After the Presidents Week, we have nothing funnier than this???

    D.O.A.

  8. #2958
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    not close enough
    Posts
    2,488
    Skeeze, I think gain massive GNAR points for that one.

  9. #2959
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    boy's club
    Posts
    900
    buddy posts a picture on fb of animal prints in snow, with the caption "guess what i saw?"
    someone posts "moose?"
    the picture showed, very clearly, paw prints with claws.
    "he doesn't know to behold what the cold frost can do..."

  10. #2960
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    4,318
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Just wanted to share some quality style points.

  11. #2961
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SF, CA
    Posts
    166
    Guy in liftline pointing at my dukes: "Your bindings are so tall because it makes climbing easier. I went seal skinning once and know all about those."
    Last edited by turboLT; 02-28-2011 at 05:17 PM. Reason: shortened

  12. #2962
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Saneville
    Posts
    13,352
    Quote Originally Posted by Skeeze View Post
    This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

    After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

    At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.
    What's the problem? You were STILL the best Snowlerblader on the mountain....

  13. #2963
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Alpental
    Posts
    4,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Skeeze View Post
    The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.
    Around here you get sent to the back of the line for that.
    “I have a responsibility to not be intimidated and bullied by low life losers who abuse what little power is granted to them as ski patrollers.”

  14. #2964
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Stowe
    Posts
    4,432
    Quote Originally Posted by Kip0130 View Post
    I heard this week at Blue Knob.
    "This is real skiing, none of that fancy stuff out west where all they care about is how they look"

    "You know you can't buy skis without bindings already on them?"

    "Why didn't they groom this powder? It's terrible to ski in"
    first I think I know you.

    second Blue Knob is sick!

  15. #2965
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Wasatch
    Posts
    306
    It's sick that there's a place out there called Blue Knob. Is that anything like Blue Balls? That's even better than Pine Knob.

  16. #2966
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    2,135
    Quote Originally Posted by Skeeze View Post
    This one's sort of on me. I only had my Praxis Pows with me this past weekend on Mammoth, and since everything was tracked by Sunday, I decided to save my knees and use something else. I found some crappy 10-year-old 99cm snowlerblades in the garage, so I decided to give them a try. I head up to Chair 23 and when I reach the front of the line, I announce to all 100 or so people that "I am the best snowlerblader on the mountain!"

    After getting on the chair, I need to check my phone, so I pull my glove off. The glove has an idiot strap, so I just carelessly pull it off. Of course, this is the one time the strap isn't around my wrist, and the glove falls to the ground. As the glove falls, I reach out to catch it, but I end up sliding off the chair and falling about 8 feet onto my face. The lift stops, I put my glove back on and return to the front of the line. i've never had so many people laughing at me in my life.

    At least I ended up skiing P4 to Philippe's on the snowlerblades once I got to the top. I'm calling a first ever snowlerblade descent on that one.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    What's the problem? You were STILL the best Snowlerblader on the mountain....
    I was thinking the same thing

  17. #2967
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Vancouver Island
    Posts
    2,128
    Quote Originally Posted by time2clmb View Post
    What a fucking looser. WOW you can buy stuff. Impressive.
    Not on topic at all, but goddamn annoying, when people use the word "looser" to describe a loser. Basic spelling and grammar are not strong points here - including mining engineers'. More importantly, STFU and stop gumming up the thread with pointless drivel about how good/bad your/his degree is/isn't.

  18. #2968
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    1,170
    From last season, but definitely post worthy:

    Yesterday: some dad talking shop about boards in line to the guys behind him. One of them is on a budweiser snowboard (what?) and then daddio proceeds to have a very sketchy run down the hill. His kid looked like he was ripping some fun though.

  19. #2969
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Tahoe
    Posts
    3,927
    I spotted an old guy wearing ski boots in safeway today at 5 pm.


  20. #2970
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Aspen
    Posts
    1,540
    On Sunday I decided to switch it up and go to Snowmass instead of my usual Highlands/Ajax where from the Alpine Springs chair, I witnessed about 30 people waiting for the rope to drop on the noon groom which I thought was pretty hilarious but hey, whatever floats your boat

  21. #2971
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,085
    Quote Originally Posted by G View Post
    I spotted an old guy wearing ski boots in safeway today at 5 pm.
    that is hardcore!!!!!

  22. #2972
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    truckee
    Posts
    24,882
    Quote Originally Posted by nateski View Post
    buddy posts a picture on fb of animal prints in snow, with the caption "guess what i saw?"
    someone posts "moose?"
    the picture showed, very clearly, paw prints with claws.
    At what elevation do the moose turn into wolverines?

    Can a ski resort be a gaper? Broken arrow at squaw is a double chair, with a singles line. Maybe I'm the gaper but I don't get it.

  23. #2973
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Cambridge, MA/Jackson, WY
    Posts
    567
    Perhaps not a gaper, but I thought this was funny...

    Going up the gondola at Jackson on a pseudo-pow day, a woman looks down at the slopes and says, "This can't be 6". Some man must have measured it!" I laughed.

  24. #2974
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    not close enough
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    2,488
    Quote Originally Posted by mangle View Post
    "This can't be 6". Some man must have measured it!" I laughed.
    The proper response is "I will give you 6"

  25. #2975
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    In rain shadow of the Sierra CC,NV
    Posts
    3,984
    Quote Originally Posted by old goat View Post
    Can a ski resort be a gaper? Broken arrow at squaw is a double chair, with a singles line. Maybe I'm the gaper but I don't get it.
    WORD!
    We got in that line Saturday, and just cut in front after letting a few through.
    It was a shame Silvy wasn't open.

    ...Remember, those who think Global Warming is Fake, also think that Adam & Eve were Real...

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