Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**old goat** · 02-25-2011, 08:06 PM

Waiting for a triple--me on the left young woman on the right, her boyfriend in the middle. The chair stops (we think) as the guy on the chair in front of us buries his tips, double ejects and falls off. We're all laughing as the chair behind us which is actually still moving hits me and the boyfriend from behind--we sit down, leaving girlfriend behind. so now everyone's laughing at her.

This seems to happen a lot, can't count how many chairs I've nealry missed while engrossed in watching the carnage on the chair in front of me.

And to all the snowboarders who grab the back of the safety bar to pull themselves up to the loading board, thereby lowering the safety bar which hits the people in front in the back --FUCK YOU and learn how to walk.

**Wooster** · 02-25-2011, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

And to all the snowboarders who grab the back of the safety bar to pull themselves up to the loading board, thereby lowering the safety bar which hits the people in front in the back --FUCK YOU and learn how to walk.

To be fair, I've seen skiers hook their poles onto it for a free tow.

**Altaholic** · 02-25-2011, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by stoepstyle

I overheard a lady a while back asking for safety bars on some of the lifts at Kirkwood and a patroller told her about how at Sierra at Tahoe a tree fell on a lift cable or something. Everyone with the safety bar down had horrible teeth/head injuries from their heads smashing into the safety bar when the chair got pulled up rapidly, and everyone who fell out of the chair were way better off.

Hahah but in all seriousness do these people have difficulty sitting in chairs??

Classic!!!!

**stuckathuntermtn** · 02-26-2011, 11:16 AM

when you have more balls than brains, hilarity often ensues.

**ecskier7** · 02-26-2011, 11:59 AM

Me: sitting in the SLC airport
Gayper 1: I saw skis like 160 at the tip!
Gayper 2: Wait 160 on the tip for one ski not two?
Gayper 1: Two skis, they also had these weird brands like hand made ones that you cant get off ebay.
Gayper 2: Thats awesome well I thought my 160's were long enough they are 110 at the tip.
I couldn't help my self but to laugh.

**P_McPoser** · 02-26-2011, 10:07 PM

Originally Posted by jipstyle

After 900 posts here, that is the best you can do? Really?

When you've finished your little paper chase, come join me in the real world and I'll show you what real degrees can buy you .. in the mean time, enjoy your second-rate education and keep on pretending you're hard.

I suppose you don't have a clue what mining engineers make, regardless of how little prestige a degree from Montana Tech may carry, it doesn't matter in the industry....

**P_McPoser** · 02-26-2011, 10:34 PM

A six year old girl, riding a lift with me, making me a gaper:

Her "Coach McPoser, could you please stop singing?"
Me "why, do I suck"
Her "No, but it's awkward"

**time2clmb** · 02-26-2011, 10:49 PM

I'll show you what real degrees can buy you .. in the mean time, enjoy your second-rate education

What a fucking looser. WOW you can buy stuff. Impressive.

**Shadam** · 02-26-2011, 11:11 PM

so wot has your real education bought you that the rest of us can't afford ???
alota butt-hurt ???

**tomas tequila** · 02-27-2011, 11:03 AM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

That would have been impossible, because I was sitting next to him and I would have bashed his face in if he got anywhere near the last tower without unclipping. Would have been perfect retribution for cracking my head with an unexpected bar down too.

Shit if that lift derailed with the dude buckled in like that he'd probably get beat to death when the chair goes up and down. I wonder if he has a HANS device and a roll-cage in his 96 Cherokee because chances are about 100 thousand times greater he'll need those.

**Kip0130** · 02-27-2011, 11:59 AM

I heard this week at Blue Knob.
"This is real skiing, none of that fancy stuff out west where all they care about is how they look"

"You know you can't buy skis without bindings already on them?"

"Why didn't they groom this powder? It's terrible to ski in"

**jipstyle** · 02-27-2011, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by P_McPoser

I suppose you don't have a clue what mining engineers make, regardless of how little prestige a degree from Montana Tech may carry, it doesn't matter in the industry....

You're still arguing about this?

**jipstyle** · 02-27-2011, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

so wot has your real education bought you that the rest of us can't afford ???
alota butt-hurt ???

The ability to spell AND use grammar. OMGLOLZ.

**karpiel** · 02-27-2011, 01:34 PM

Originally Posted by jipstyle

The ability to spell AND use grammar. OMGLOLZ.

Oh the ironing!

**Maker** · 02-27-2011, 03:05 PM

at vail.....dude in a full bogner get-up puffing on a cigar while skiing down a run.

wish I had a camera.

**OUgetsdown** · 02-27-2011, 07:53 PM

To the dudes arguing: rectal thermometers have degrees too.

Now on topic. Spent the weekend at Snowshoe in WV with my school club.

Lift lines were insane on Saturday. So we were pleasantly surprised this morning as the first time we came down to a lift there was hardly anyone in line. So me and my buddy ride into line the line with two people riding in right in front of us but there are these 2 people standing there in front of the loading area letting chairs go past. After the third chair goes past someone asks the guy
"what are you waiting for?"
"2 more people, this chair is a quad."
Facepalms all around. After the 4th chair goes by empty the two in front of us step out to ride up with the guy, so they push up to the line as the 5th chair goes by, and he isn't paying attention and when the other two start to push up he just stands there for a minute and misses the chair. So now chair 6 has 3 people on it, and he gets on chair 7 alone. Not a big deal because there wasn't any line but still amazing levels of thought going on there.

Conditions were iffy as it was rather warm but around midday Saturday it was really not bad at all, the snow was loosened up and deep in places. Around lunchtime Saturday it was warm enough that it wasn't icy in as many places, but it wasn't slushy yet either. I'm riding solo and just having fun on a long groomer that has some nice snow on the outsides of the run, I'm just surfing around glad to be off mid-atlantic ice. I get to the bottom and here the classic line (from someone on snowlerblades with poles of course) "What's up with the snow on that run? It's all loose and deep on that run, it's not even packed down or anything. I think they should shut the runs down for an hour or so at lunchtime to re-groom everything."

**sidewall** · 02-27-2011, 08:05 PM

Not your usual gaper story but a few park rats thought it would be cool to comment on everyone from the lift. Hooting and making fun of everyone. mind you this is on a little east coast hill.

**Shadam** · 02-27-2011, 08:41 PM

So by now you all know I'm core, super gnar, and totally qualified to put shit on everyone especially gapers.
Today we took a buddy out to pop his slackcountry "cherry" on our tame, go to line, "big trees".
He's a total inbounds ripper!
He made all the usual gaper mistakes.
a helmet full of snow,
googles stored incorrectly thus fogging,
wanting tunes in the slackcountry, hmmmm.
toes going numb, requiring removal of boots to get toes to come back,
had a snowshoe fall off pack coz it wasn't sercured properly,
making fone calls in slackcountry,
skinny skis, yes snowshoeing on skis!
can't read terrain,
fell lots,
and many more I can't remember.

but when we got back to the car he tells us,
"that was the best snow I've ever riden!"

EVER ???
Hucken eh? would rather be playing poker than riding anything less!

**Downbound Train** · 02-27-2011, 08:59 PM

Got on the quad with a super steezy 13 or 14 year old and his Mom. (It was Family day for Ski Jammers).

The kid was obviously embarassed to be skiing with his mom as it was. She's trying to force conversation on him and his giving the usual bitter teen one word answers. I was feeling bad for both of them because it was so akward.

Suddenly, she whacks him in the arm and says,
"Oh my God Jamie, you didn't brush your teeth this morning!"

I almost blew a snot bubble.

**fluxrad** · 02-27-2011, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

skinny skis, yes snowshoeing on skis!

Wait, what?

Unrelated but just curious,
Why do you write
in blank verse?
You're like TGR's Maya Angelou

**abe froman** · 02-27-2011, 09:41 PM

Two Dudes on lift looking @ a snowmobIle riding up a trail:
Dude #1: "do you thinks those things are reliable?"
Dude#2: "probably not. They are just like motorcycles w/skis"

**MJbumper1121** · 02-27-2011, 10:18 PM

Originally Posted by Maker

at vail.....dude in a full bogner get-up puffing on a cigar while skiing down a run.

Fuking tits.

**imadoofus** · 02-27-2011, 10:49 PM

Yesterday at whistler. Older guy skiing with ski poles that come almost up till his nose dragging behind him in the snow.

**DasBlunt** · 02-27-2011, 11:44 PM

Gaper move at Loveland this past Friday; Dude and his dad I guess, come ripping at Mach 1 into the singles only line lift gates at the bottom of 1, out of control, slams into the padded bar, takes out some little girl, dad is yard-sailed with poles skis everywhere, some kook snowboarder walks by, "nice yardsale, asshole" to the dad.....I am watching this and can only laugh at the look on the old fucks face.....

**thisisastickup** · 02-28-2011, 12:39 AM

I was cruising groomers at PC after I tweaked my knee in the park during sundance week.

I see a woman and her husband/son/nephew/hired help, both a little on the morbidly obese side. They're about halfway down the groomer under crest, walking down while two patrollers are wasting their time CARRYING these people's skis down for them. to add to the hilarity, the woman was wearing sweatpants and a trenchcoat, with a fanny pack worn OVER the trenchcoat. I laughed to myself a fair bit.