Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**The SnowShow** · 02-20-2011, 08:56 PM

I always find it funny when people think that the Vail back bowl lifts close right when the gates for the Bowls close...like they're going to strand you out there.

**mangled** · 02-20-2011, 09:03 PM

so disapointing i didnt get a pic of this but a couple days a go a lady walking up whisky jack with snowblades in hand, a cup of starbucks and a helment cam on her head, biggest wtf moment

**fluxrad** · 02-20-2011, 10:14 PM

Did you let her know you were the best skier on the mountain?

**sadfist** · 02-20-2011, 10:35 PM

Did you bang her?

**Caucasian Asian** · 02-21-2011, 06:15 PM

Not quotes, but a couple of sightings from the Family Day/President's Day gaper-thon at Kicking Horse.

A husband and wife duo with snowblades, poles and neoprene facemasks on the Stairway chair, talking about how the longer ones get all loose and "jiggley" while turning. Then he told her how good the snow would be over there(pointing at Whitewall). When he asked me where that run led to, I figured that I should try to encourage them not to go out there. I tried to be polite, but I guess I didn't get my point across, because I watched them walk up the stairs with their snowblades on their shoulders.

It was almost as much of a facepalm as the pair at the airport that were putting their snowboreds into the oversize luggage check-in without a bag.

**Skipig25** · 02-21-2011, 08:09 PM

guy in liftline this morning explains his dynafit bindings to a couple behind him. (they asked)

after a 5 minute explaination about damn near every part of the bindings, how they're used, and what they're for, the guy of the couple goes "oh, so they're tele bindings!"

probably 10 facepalms in the surrounding area

**Lelandjt** · 02-22-2011, 01:51 AM

Was this at the Independence Chair at Breck, mid afternoon?

**bendtheski** · 02-22-2011, 02:08 AM

Originally Posted by Skipig25

guy in liftline this morning explains his dynafit bindings to a couple behind him. (they asked)

after a 5 minute explaination about damn near every part of the bindings, how they're used, and what they're for, the guy of the couple goes "oh, so they're tele bindings!"

probably 10 facepalms in the surrounding area

I guess the dynafit bindings in the lift line should have been a tip-off. I saw a gaper on dynafit's do the classic bury the tip on chairlift take-off to faceplant the other day.
I guess when you slay the back country all the time, your lift skills get a little rusty...
I offered to help him up, but only if he was beeping.

**thebirdhunter** · 02-22-2011, 09:07 AM

While standing in the tram line at the Bird on Sunday. Over heard some guy tell his GF that it isn't going to be that crowded today because the storm wasn't forecasted to dump as much as it did so all the pro skiers didn't fly in.

**mangled** · 02-22-2011, 07:52 PM

person walk up to me in my tuning shop,
lady "i need a wax, im going way to fast"
me "ahh wax speeds you up"
lady " well how can i get my snowboard to get slower"
me " maybe try snow school, tuning cant help you"

**Shadam** · 02-22-2011, 08:08 PM

I'll try to poorly translate this one from our new friend.
He and buddy are looking at the kiddies skier cross course and got talking about the up coming national round of the skier cross comp coming to thier hill in a few weeks.
Random euro dude gets all worked up, saying things about how this course is lame and how, in Austria, where he's from, the mtns are so much bigger, the runs longer and far more rad, and how extreme it all is and of course the skier cross course is super extreme. Then tells them that the skiers that ski this course are ...
quote = "Whoa good!"
Buddies just couldn't bring themselves to tell him the adult course is on another part of the mtn.

**MakersTeleMark** · 02-23-2011, 05:59 PM

"You can't laugh at him, it's for his protection!"

"You better fucking believe I can."

**stoepstyle** · 02-23-2011, 06:07 PM

Hahahahah that is epic ^

I wish I would be there to watch him forget to unbuckle it

**wolfelot** · 02-23-2011, 06:17 PM

Wow. Just wow. Buckling yourself in. Neat.

**MakersTeleMark** · 02-23-2011, 06:28 PM

Originally Posted by stoepstyle

Hahahahah that is epic ^

I wish I would be there to watch him forget to unbuckle it

That would have been impossible, because I was sitting next to him and I would have bashed his face in if he got anywhere near the last tower without unclipping. Would have been perfect retribution for cracking my head with an unexpected bar down too.

**stoepstyle** · 02-23-2011, 06:36 PM

I overheard a lady a while back asking for safety bars on some of the lifts at Kirkwood and a patroller told her about how at Sierra at Tahoe a tree fell on a lift cable or something. Everyone with the safety bar down had horrible teeth/head injuries from their heads smashing into the safety bar when the chair got pulled up rapidly, and everyone who fell out of the chair were way better off.

Hahah but in all seriousness do these people have difficulty sitting in chairs??

**Super Bass-o-Matic '76** · 02-23-2011, 08:13 PM

Lady: "There's something wrong with this helmet. It keeps falling down over my face". She says this after struggling with her helmet for like 10 minutes.

Me: I look at the helmet on her head and see the goggle strap holder in front. I say "err, your helmet is on backwards".

**Shadam** · 02-23-2011, 09:48 PM

here's another I'll no doubt translate poorly ... or drunkenly.
Yesterday at Fernie's haulback T bar at the bottom of cedar bowl a family of mum and dad on skis and 2 girls of maybe legal age ( but who cares) on snowboards who cna't ride the T bar.(I was told later they are from Onterio and never get to ride pow and it was a fernie factor day) I don't know how long the girls have been there flondering, but the chickybabe lifty is clearly over it all, and them.
lifty attemps to load crusty old dad and clearly incompetent snowboarder babe.
wot happened next was beyond belief !!!
Girl is struggling with all her will to stay upright for I don't know how many attempts at this lift and people are starting to back up waiting to get on, as many T"s have been let go just getting them into position.
and then ...
by the time lifty was able to get the T betwween her legs and in position for dad ...
and of course he wants the T much higher than this little babe ...
so this results in the sling shot !!!
dad wobbles, and spreads his legs for better stablitiy thus pushing his left ski into board for chicky-boarder ...
(now, I believe she woulda been fine up until this point.)
thus her board is pushed out from under her ...
she hangs on to the T for all her worth ...
she starts falling backwards and takes the T with her ... shes on the left.
she falls on her back ...

but fark me royal if !!!

Dad falls on top of her !!!

so he's on top of her, thier both being dragged up hill by her having the T wedged between her legs and ...
I was dunb struck!
eventually he falls off her and she get the T out and its a yard sale scene.
lifty comes to the rescue ... for I don't know how many times now.
So I'm next, I grab the other chick and say ...
me "your going to ride with me"
her "no, I'm with them"
me "I'll show you how to ride this"
Mum is just standing there quietly as I ride off with her daughter
The lifty sees that I've got my shit together as I put the girl into position,
She's natural, I'm goofy so its a perfect match,
the ride is fine and she's surprised,
the skiers waiting are impressed, but ...
I'm the biggest loser, coz geting chick to ride the lift means fark all, if ...
I don't have a cell number !!!

**MakersTeleMark** · 02-23-2011, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by Shadam

me "I'll show you how to ride this"

She's natural, I'm goofy so its a perfect match,
the ride is fine and she's surprised,

I'm the biggest loser, coz geting chick to ride the lift means fark all, if ...
I don't have a cell number !!!

Quoted for a perfect addition to this thread.

**Shadam** · 02-23-2011, 10:11 PM

Thats gold !!!

I see so many retarded shit on the hill ...
and most of it is caused by me !!!

**Shadam** · 02-23-2011, 10:19 PM

not funny and not a quote but wot-ev ...
I'm solo (story of my life!)
get on white pass quad chair (fixed chair) on pow day.
with 3 skiers,
I'm far, left and far right skier just brushed the pow getting on and ski pops off !!! ... ???
so we have a laugh and a safety meeting,
his ski gets handed to a guy 4 chairs back and all is good, and so was the pow.

gaper moments happen to everyone eventually

**fluxrad** · 02-23-2011, 10:49 PM

Originally Posted by stoepstyle

Hahah but in all seriousness do these people have difficulty sitting in chairs??

You clearly don't watch Tosh.0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LeY2s7gORI

**Sessiøn** · 02-25-2011, 05:03 PM

In the lineup at Meadow's(MHX) yesterday morning. Some snowboarder wearing a paintball mask like this. Pretty much reminded me why I usually line up at HRM instead of the frontside

Guy on AC50's(me on Caylor's) says to me:

"when it's this deep I like to ski more than the top 6 inches"

Still trying to figure out where that idea comes from.

**QuikR12** · 02-25-2011, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by PhiberAwptik

In the lineup at Meadow's(MHX) yesterday morning. Some snowboarder wearing a paintball mask like this. Pretty much reminded me why I usually line up at HRM instead of the frontside

Guy on AC50's(me on Caylor's) says to me:

"when it's this deep I like to ski more than the top 6 inches"

Still trying to figure out where that idea comes from.

Btw, how are the waiting times in those lines coming?