Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Crock** · 12-13-2010, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Some real gems here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?l...&sid=396547175

Jesus...

"I have water skis for water skiing (If that makes sence) and i wanna Ski this winter because my friend wants to snowboard and he wants me to also but i love water skiing (Yes i know they are not the same but i want to ski) so i was wondering if u can use water skis in the winter"

-The late extreme skier Shane McConkey did once mount ski bindings onto water skis in Alaska. So it is possible, but you're no Shane McConkey, and he died skiing, so his judgment is suspect.

**mnskier** · 12-13-2010, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by mnflyfish

Welch?????

haha How'd you guess?

**karpiel** · 12-13-2010, 10:24 PM

"DUUUUDE, THIS IS A BLACK RUN" - Person on blue.

**mnskier** · 12-14-2010, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Some real gems here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?l...&sid=396547175

Are 175" powder skis too big?

**BiggC** · 12-14-2010, 09:30 AM

Twin Tips make you go faster.

**Bobcat Sig** · 12-14-2010, 10:01 AM

Originally Posted by dumpy

Some real gems here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index?l...&sid=396547175

Sweet fancy Moses. I weep for our future.

**QuikR12** · 12-14-2010, 10:44 AM

wow: Can I use p-tex candles to completely re-do the base of my snowboard?
I want to paint the underside of my board, but I don't want to lose its purpose. I know if I paint it, it won't run as smoothly at all, and I'm pretty sure that applying a bajillion layers of clearcoat won't cut it. If I buy enough P-Tex candles, would it be possible to iron out the whole base and make my board a smooth sailer again? Any help is appreciated, thanks.

Troll or serious: Did i choose the right twin tip skis?
i just got a new set of 2010 armada el reys for 229 at a shop by me new but last years model so he was selling them cheap. Im 5"8 and 163lbs ive had a pair of snow blades since i was in 10th grade im 25 now lol and only go sking once in awhile but looking to go alot more. Ill go down anything ive never not gone down a slope on my snow blades because it was a diamond or two. I was looking to get a 170 but the price so great i couldnt pass it up do you think 164 would be fine for me? I figure cause im use to the snow blades it wouldnt be to bad thanks for the help.

**MontuckyFried** · 12-14-2010, 11:05 AM

So, on my way to Hood this last weekend (Friday morning), I was on a Southwest flight out of San Antonio with a planeload of Texans on their way to Colorado (I had a layover in Denver). Whilst boarding, there was a group of frat-boy type bros behind me. I had my camelbak ski backpack on, boots slung over my shoulder. They were trying to impress their girls with their knowledge of the slopes (which they apparently knew nothing about), when one proceeded to say "Yeah, I wanted to bring a camelbak (pointing at mine), but it would freeze up."

I couldn't help but to laugh a bit.

During the flight, there was a group of six pretty hot rich housewives behind me on a girls ski trip. A stranger asks them, "so will you be doing much skiing this trip?" The lead hen of the group said, "It depends on the weather. I only ski on nice sunny days. I won't be skiing if it's snowing." WTF?!

Geez, I wish I had a recorder to share all the priceless lines I heard. Now, I COMPLETELY understand why you all rip on Texans so hard. This was my first flight through Denver ever (I always drive to CO), so I'd never quite witnessed the JONGness the way you all have until then. I'm so embarrassed on my states behalf.

**Sessiøn** · 12-14-2010, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by AustinFromSA

So, on my way to Hood this last weekend (Friday morning), I was on a Southwest flight out of San Antonio with a planeload of Texans on their way to Colorado (I had a layover in Denver). Whilst boarding, there was a group of frat-boy type bros behind me. I had my camelbak ski backpack on, boots slung over my shoulder. They were trying to impress their girls with their knowledge of the slopes (which they apparently knew nothing about), when one proceeded to say "Yeah, I wanted to bring a camelbak (pointing at mine), but it would freeze up."

I couldn't help but to laugh a bit.

During the flight, there was a group of six pretty hot rich housewives behind me on a girls ski trip. A stranger asks them, "so will you be doing much skiing this trip?" The lead hen of the group said, "It depends on the weather. I only ski on nice sunny days. I won't be skiing if it's snowing." WTF?!

Geez, I wish I had a recorder to share all the priceless lines I heard. Now, I COMPLETELY understand why you all rip on Texans so hard. This was my first flight through Denver ever (I always drive to CO), so I'd never quite witnessed the JONGness the way you all have until then. I'm so embarrassed on my states behalf.

On a side note. Bum deal you pretty much chose the worst weekend to ski Hood. Shoulda been there friday

**jmars** · 12-14-2010, 11:19 AM

"Do you think the snow will be as sandy today?"

**QuikR12** · 12-14-2010, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by AustinFromSA

"It depends on the weather. I only ski on nice sunny days. I won't be skiing if it's snowing." WTF?!

If you only ski groomers, and don't know how to ski pow, then I'm sure skiing in a snowstorm sucks. I'm happy they stay home. No need to clog up the liftlines on a pow day.

**MontuckyFried** · 12-14-2010, 11:27 AM

Originally Posted by PhiberAwptik

On a side note. Bum deal you pretty much chose the worst weekend to ski Hood. Shoulda been there friday

Thankfully, I got there early enough to enjoy the whole afternoon/night at Mt. Hood Ski Bowl.

Originally Posted by QuikR12

I'm happy they stay home. No need to clog up the liftlines on a pow day.

QFT!

**farmer** · 12-14-2010, 11:34 AM

Best gaper quote? Everything this JONG posts.

Texas

Originally Posted by AustinFromSA

So, on my way to Hood this last weekend (Friday morning), I was on a Southwest flight out of San Antonio with a planeload of Texans on their way to Colorado (I had a layover in Denver). Whilst boarding, there was a group of frat-boy type bros behind me. I had my camelbak ski backpack on, boots slung over my shoulder. They were trying to impress their girls with their knowledge of the slopes (which they apparently knew nothing about), when one proceeded to say "Yeah, I wanted to bring a camelbak (pointing at mine), but it would freeze up."

I couldn't help but to laugh a bit.

During the flight, there was a group of six pretty hot rich housewives behind me on a girls ski trip. A stranger asks them, "so will you be doing much skiing this trip?" The lead hen of the group said, "It depends on the weather. I only ski on nice sunny days. I won't be skiing if it's snowing." WTF?!

Geez, I wish I had a recorder to share all the priceless lines I heard. Now, I COMPLETELY understand why you all rip on Texans so hard. This was my first flight through Denver ever (I always drive to CO), so I'd never quite witnessed the JONGness the way you all have until then. I'm so embarrassed on my states behalf.

**point it** · 12-14-2010, 02:07 PM

Heard this from a guide at a heliski operation in BC so I thought i'd pass it on. Apparently someone in his group had to shit in the middle of the day, so the guide pulled out a roll of TP and said, "You can just go behind those trees over there." The man replied with, "excuse me but I do not poo in the wild." that lead to the guide having to request a heli to come out and pick the dude up and fly him back to the lodge to use the toilet. Hope that for $1800 it was one of the best shits he has ever taken.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 12-14-2010, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by point it

Heard this from a guide at a heliski operation in BC so I thought i'd pass it on. Apparently someone in his group had to shit in the middle of the day, so the guide pulled out a roll of TP and said, "You can just go behind those trees over there." The man replied with, "excuse me but I do not poo in the wild." that lead to the guide having to request a heli to come out and pick the dude up and fly him back to the lodge to use the toilet. Hope that for $1800 it was one of the best shits he has ever taken.

I'm gonna be honest. If $1,800 was a few minutes in the office for me, I'd have a heli come pick me up wherever I was. I hate away games. I'd make it an even 2 if they warmed up the seat for me.

I can't riff on anyone right now. IDK what happened, but I have an acute and protracted case of pussitis. I mountain biked all summer, but I think since it's Missoula, all the mountain biking is at low altitude. I have, like, no strength in my legs when I go skiing, lately.
So no quote, but this idiot with all his fancy gear and high-mindedness is getting smoked by old dudes with butt warmers. It'll come back eventually I guess.

**mtnjam** · 12-14-2010, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by AustinFromSA

During the flight, there was a group of six pretty hot rich housewives behind me on a girls ski trip. A stranger asks them, "so will you be doing much skiing this trip?" The lead hen of the group said, "It depends on the weather. I only ski on nice sunny days. I won't be skiing if it's snowing." WTF?!

classic baiting....that was your cue to ask them what condo they were at and what time the hot tub opens

**minnesnowta** · 12-14-2010, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by mnskier

Just was reminded of this it happened a year ago. It was at a ski area in Minnesota but funny none the less. (Can't remember the exact words but it went like this.) It had just snowed a decent amount around a foot. I was skiing in the trees and a ski patrol yells at me from farther up the run and follows me to the bottom and tells me skiing in the trees is against their rules here and I might lose my lift ticket. Next he says, I could poke it eye out in the trees. He also goes on to say that they have nice groomed runs right there for me and skiing in those trees is a waste of time and extremely dangerous and I should make smarter decisions next time

same thing happened to me about two years ago

**eastvailshoots** · 12-15-2010, 01:37 AM

my personal favorite.. some gaper in the lift line to his buddy, "So where do they put the moguls in the summer?"

**130RR** · 12-15-2010, 07:31 AM

kid with a snowlerblade bag over his shoulder looking at my mantra's:

him: Wow they are nice!
me: Thanks. I see you went for some of those new folding skis.

**åsanisse** · 12-15-2010, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by 130RR

kid with a snowlerblade bag over his shoulder looking at my mantra's:

him: Wow they are nice!
me: Thanks. I see you went for some of those new folding skis.

Thanks for sharing, l8r

**Shadam** · 12-15-2010, 08:15 AM

Bring on the hate!
It's probably best you all hate on me not your girlfriends so feel free.
Also, the skier that collided with the chick wasn't my buddy just some random dude. I could olny wonder if she drives with the same lack of attention, she is a darwin award looking for a place to happen.

Last year, I'm taking my time getting ready to drop a line at rogers pass when 2 guys rock up and we get talking. they tell me this is the first day touring for guy #2. (hmmm, first time out of bounds and they choose rogers pass?) never even wore a tranciever before. He then gets all his down hill gear on and is wearing his tranciever on the outside of his jacket. We try to explain the correct way to wear it and he says
"how will it work thru all those layers of clothing?"
I was shocked, and tryed to explain that it will work under meters of snow. He clearly doesn't want to take off all the gear and says
"but its water proof, isn't it? can't just wear it here for 1 run?"
I only remembered this one on the flight over here.

**MontuckyFried** · 12-15-2010, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by mtnjam

classic baiting....that was your cue to ask them what condo they were at and what time the hot tub opens

Ah, true! That'd be all good, but they were getting off at Denver, and I was on my way through to Portland. However, with the rain at Hood last weekend, I really should have jumped off at Denver, too. Ah well.

**eblackwelder** · 12-15-2010, 08:23 AM

Stoopid jong makes the following post:

Originally Posted by eastvailshoots

my personal favorite.. some gaper in the lift line to his buddy, "So where do they put the moguls in the summer?"

<hint: this has been mentioned at least 50 fricken' times in this thread>

Now, back to your regularly scheduled program........

**Catdaddyxx** · 12-15-2010, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by IrieRon

Aussie Snowboarder next to me on the lift, motioning to my Praxis (on a recent 24" powder day):

"So what's the deal with those skis?"

IrieRon: "Bigger is better?"

Aussie Snowboarder: "Like when you don't know how to ride a bike and you have training wheels?"

IrieRon: <silent>

Hilarious!

**Skirotica** · 12-15-2010, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

I can't riff on anyone right now. IDK what happened, but I have an acute and protracted case of pussitis. I mountain biked all summer, but I think since it's Missoula, all the mountain biking is at low altitude. I have, like, no strength in my legs when I go skiing, lately.
So no quote, but this idiot with all his fancy gear and high-mindedness is getting smoked by old dudes with butt warmers. It'll come back eventually I guess.

Patience. you're not the only one who thought his preseason routine was killer, only to be shocked at the results.