Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**DoWork** · 10-27-2010, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by imadoofus

the girl (looking at the skis in my room) : why do you need all these skis?
me : its to color match the ski pants
the girl : i dont even have ski pants anymore.
me: you should ski naked.
girl: hypothermia? legs falling off?
me: I'll keep you warm.
the girl: how will you do that?
me: we'll just go into the bushes occasionally.
the girl: there are no bushes on the mountain. just trees
me: there are bushes amongst the trees
the girl: no there are not. there are mongols among the trees.
me : mongols? like yellow skinned people from asia? like genghis khan?
me : why would they be hiding in the trees?
the girl: no no. MONGULS. The man made thing.
me: You must mean moguls
the girl: Obviously I havent been skiing in a long time.

I had thought that I heard all variants of the mogul story after reading this thread. but this happened yesterday night and just cracked me up.
And no, I am not pink poles boy and dont have matching pants,shoelaces etc.

"Mongols in the trees"... I'm totally using that

**guroo270** · 11-02-2010, 09:37 AM

"I'm waiting for a backpack to come out that has a big balloon pop out during an avalanche so you float on top of the snow. Then I'll buy a pack."

**old goat** · 11-02-2010, 11:52 AM

Let's take our country back from the mongols

**point it** · 11-02-2010, 12:29 PM

Early Season at whistler last year skiing under red chair on a couple little pillow stacks..... Some people on the chairlift went over me yelling "Darwin Darwin Darwin"

**NorEasterSkier** · 11-02-2010, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by DoWork

"Mongols in the trees"... I'm totally using that

That is beyond hilarious!

**TurxSki** · 11-02-2010, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by guroo270

"...a backpack to come out that has a big balloon pop out during an avalanche so you float on top of the snow..."

...how is that Gaperish?

Have you looked in Slide Zone? At a mere glance on the first page, it looks like there are 3 such packs.
Plus a Canukian guy (WARI Research ?) has been posting for a while showing ongoing tests. Yay for the Dummy!

That "Gaper" obviously knows more about what's going on than you do...JONG!

**DasBlunt** · 11-02-2010, 06:44 PM

Heard while I was riding the lift today girl on skis says "wow, fresh powder feels SO different"..... there is pow everywhere today lady.

**marcusling** · 11-03-2010, 09:49 PM

while working at Kirkwood a lady came up to me and said,"Is there a shuttle bus to that lodge?" NO JOKE, IT WAS 80 FEET FROM WHERE WE WERE STANDING.WHY ARE MY CAPS LOCKED?

**marcusling** · 11-03-2010, 09:57 PM

While working as a bootfitter in the rental shop,a whole bus of Asians came in and sat down for thier boots. I ran to the back and started piling different size boots all around for people to start trying on. A few minutes later I noticed a very short man with our largest boots on.I told him theres no way these could fit him,but he insisted they were fine. After a little checkup I discovered that he was still wearing his Nike crosstrainers. I ran into the boot section and told my buddy Chris.We laughed soo loud Im sure the whole lot heard us.I had the giggles all day. Im not a racist, I hate everyone.

**Edgnar** · 11-03-2010, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by marcusling

While working as a bootfitter in the rental shop,a whole bus of Asians came in and sat down for thier boots. I ran to the back and started piling different size boots all around for people to start trying on. A few minutes later I noticed a very short man with our largest boots on.I told him theres no way these could fit him,but he insisted they were fine. After a little checkup I discovered that he was still wearing his Nike crosstrainers. I ran into the boot section and told my buddy Chris.We laughed soo loud Im sure the whole lot heard us.I had the giggles all day. Im not a racist, I hate everyone.

Its not racist to laugh at stupid.

**arewolfe** · 11-03-2010, 10:16 PM

not sure who's the gaper here, me or the park rat. two seasons ago skiing alone in my bibs in april under the quad at stowe. i came to a stop almost directly under the chair:

park rat from lift: "tuck it, bro. tuck it. .......nice dungarees."

**Crock** · 11-04-2010, 07:18 AM

At the WM "Wintervention" Premier last night. Guy behind me with his wife and kids:

"That's Jonny Moseley, he was the first guy to do a backflip in a mogul run!"
which he managed to squeeze in between
"WOOO! YEAH BRO, GIT SOME!"
"SICK LINE!"
"Now, THAT'S a powder day!"
"Look how wide their skis are honey!"

The whole. Fucking. Time.

**Sessiøn** · 11-04-2010, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by Crock

At the WM "Wintervention" Premier last night. Guy behind me with his wife and kids:

"That's Jonny Moseley, he was the first guy to do a backflip in a mogul run!"
which he managed to squeeze in between
"WOOO! YEAH BRO, GIT SOME!"
"SICK LINE!"
"Now, THAT'S a powder day!"
"Look how wide their skis are honey!"

The whole. Fucking. Time.

LOL....Going to WME films might actually make you the gaper.

**old goat** · 11-04-2010, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by marcusling

While working as a bootfitter in the rental shop,a whole bus of Asians came in and sat down for thier boots. I ran to the back and started piling different size boots all around for people to start trying on. A few minutes later I noticed a very short man with our largest boots on.I told him theres no way these could fit him,but he insisted they were fine. After a little checkup I discovered that he was still wearing his Nike crosstrainers. I ran into the boot section and told my buddy Chris.We laughed soo loud Im sure the whole lot heard us.I had the giggles all day. Im not a racist, I hate everyone.

There's a whole season ahead of us, but this one might be hard to top

**farmer** · 11-04-2010, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by PhiberAwptik

LOL....Going to WME films makes you the gaper.

fixed it for ya

Fuck WME

**powdrhound** · 11-05-2010, 12:07 AM

Please do make a distinction between WME and Warren himself.
Do not forget that way back when, the Warren Miller film was the ONLY one available to us. It was always scripted and sometime hokey, but he Always got our blood pumping and the stoke firing. Be glad that we have such a wide variety now available to us. Warren began it all.
Sorry if this was off-topic, but I had to reply...

Let is Snow!

**DropCliffsNotBombs** · 11-05-2010, 10:16 AM

Originally Posted by powdrhound

Please do make a distinction between WME and Warren himself.
Do not forget that way back when, the Warren Miller film was the ONLY one available to us. Be glad that we have such a wide variety now available to us. Warren began it all.

Agreed. Kids these days seem to lack respect for skiings "roots!"
They just to want dress up like a bowl of fruit salad and slide rails in the park all day. RESPECT!!!

**Sessiøn** · 11-05-2010, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by DropCliffsNotBombs

Agreed. Kids these days seem to lack respect for skiings "roots!"
They just to want dress up like a bowl of fruit salad and slide rails in the park all day. RESPECT!!!

I would actually say that Newschoolers is more on top of the WME Vs. WM than TGR.

**Zee** · 11-07-2010, 02:20 PM

Late last season on Continental Divide at Sunshine... 3 older guys on narrow carver skis get on the lift with me...

Guy beside me: "I wonder what all the poor people are doing? HAHAHA"

Me: "Probably touring the backcountry and riding some sweet pow rather than this skied out worthless shit we're paying money for..."

Him perplexed: "I was just kidding around, my friend has a cabin near here, we're visiting from Toronto."

Me: "Yep, that explains it."

The rest of the ride up was long and awkward. I'm really not an asshole usually, but people laughing at others because of their social/financial status really pisses me off.

**farmer** · 11-07-2010, 02:36 PM

I think this song goes well with your post Zed

Not skiing related, but still worth sharing:

The ski club here put on a dance at one of the bars last night. A couple of buddies and I are working at the door, and a fight starts to break out. The bouncers take off inside, break things up and come out laughing their heads off. One guy had picked up a bar stool and sat threatening to hit (or so we thought) the other guy with it. When the bouncer tells him to put the chair down, the guy replies, "NO! Tell him to bend over!!"

WTF?

PSA: if you're ever taking $$ at the door of one of these things, chicks are more than willing to show their tits for a discount

**DaveTV** · 11-07-2010, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Zee

Late last season on Continental Divide at Sunshine... 3 older guys on narrow carver skis get on the lift with me...

Guy beside me: "I wonder what all the poor people are doing? HAHAHA"

Me: "Probably touring the backcountry and riding some sweet pow rather than this skied out worthless shit we're paying money for..."

Him perplexed: "I was just kidding around, my friend has a cabin near here, we're visiting from Toronto."

Me: "Yep, that explains it."

The rest of the ride up was long and awkward. I'm really not an asshole usually, but people laughing at others because of their social/financial status really pisses me off.

Dude that's just a euphemism for "What an awesome day, I am so happy and lucky to be here"..
- lighten up

**Zee** · 11-07-2010, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by DaveTV

Dude that's just a euphemism for "What an awesome day, I am so happy and lucky to be here"..
- lighten up

Seriously? I have never ever heard it before...

**SchralphMacchio** · 11-08-2010, 08:43 PM

posted to SF Snowpals email list today, a wonderful source of amusement:

any one have information about opening date for the lake ski resort?

Yes, now that Vail owns all of Lake Tahoe, it is one giant resort, and its opening date is scheduled for December 19. Until then Lake Tahoe is closed. Please stay home until this time.

Tempted to email this out to see if he believes me ...

**Super Bass-o-Matic '76** · 11-08-2010, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by marcusling

While working as a bootfitter in the rental shop,a whole bus of Asians came in and sat down for thier boots. I ran to the back and started piling different size boots all around for people to start trying on. A few minutes later I noticed a very short man with our largest boots on.I told him theres no way these could fit him,but he insisted they were fine. After a little checkup I discovered that he was still wearing his Nike crosstrainers. I ran into the boot section and told my buddy Chris.We laughed soo loud Im sure the whole lot heard us.I had the giggles all day. Im not a racist, I hate everyone.

I saw almost the exact same thing two years ago at WP. He got the whole sneaker in there too.

I was working at the information kiosk at Loveland a few years ago. A lady in street clothes came up and asked where she caught the shuttle bus to the top of the ski area. I explained that the shuttle bus ran between the Valley and the Basin. She said she didn't want that shuttle - she wanted to go to the highest part of Loveland and pointed up at The Ridge.

I said the only way to get up there was by chairlift. She didn't want to take the lift to the top as it seemed scary and instead wanted to ride the bus. I said the bus didn't drive up there. She insisted that there was a bus that went to The Ridge and got upset. Her friends told her that the shuttle bus drove up up there. I mentioned perhaps her friends meant the top of Loveland Pass. She could drive her own car up there just fine. No, she wanted to take the shuttle bus to the top of the ski area.

**PowderHound93** · 11-09-2010, 01:14 AM

I went to mount my Praxis pows the other day this is what went down when he was filling out the form and asked for my boot brand..
"Fulltilt"
"No what boots do you have?"
*confused look*
"Fulltilt, thats the brand of the boot."
"Oh I was confused cause salomon makes the ski boots."
It only got worse when he asked if I would be using my 136mm waist, reverse reverse, 195cm Powder Boards for park...