Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**farmer** · 01-04-2010, 12:18 AM

I just got home from skiing a real mountain. No good gaper stories from up there (sunday nights = empty) but I got home and read this:

Originally Posted by ms ann thrope

the biggest, fattest, gaper-est quote I can think of would be along the lines of 'change for a nickel?'

Perusing this thread reveal some of the most immature and clueless poseurs I hope to never meet: those who evidently confuse riding lifts and reading ski magazines and buying the latest gear craze discovered therein--followed by judging others bases on these gaper-esque criteria--with actually going out and hiking and skiing actual mountains.

Yeah, yeah, I know, lots of true core skiers on TGR out there . . .

But most posting on this thread are the least of these.

always get a kick out of people who choose to read something and then get butt-hurt over what they read. (not like you couldn't get an idea of what this was about from the title)

**D(C)** · 01-04-2010, 09:02 AM

This was on Blackcomb American Thanksgiving weekend. It had recently rained and refrozen with about 1 cm of fresh snow on top of an icy crust. This exchange took place at the top of Solar Coaster:

Hot shot middle-aged American tourist racer dad #1: Woooo, you're gonna like this!
Hot shot middle-aged American tourist racer dad #2: Freshies?!
Hot shot middle-aged American tourist racer dad #1: YEAH!

**carvedog** · 01-04-2010, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by ms ann thrope

the biggest, fattest, gaper-est quote I can think of would be along the lines of 'change for a nickel?'

Perusing this thread reveal some of the most immature and clueless poseurs I hope to never meet: those who evidently confuse riding lifts and reading ski magazines and buying the latest gear craze discovered therein--followed by judging others bases on these gaper-esque criteria--with actually going out and hiking and skiing actual mountains.

Yeah, yeah, I know, lots of true core skiers on TGR out there . . .

But most posting on this thread are the least of these.

Way to bring the funny, thoughtful, insightful humor to the thread. Or at least something of value. You make me laugh.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

**BushwackerinPA** · 01-04-2010, 07:01 PM

Originally Posted by thecriscokid

So I hop on the lift with an instructor and his 2 bucketheads(really small kids w/ helmets)He's on race stock skis teaching 5yr olds. I'm on my CRJ's on my way to look for the not so hidden treasure...

Pro: Those are the most ridiculous resort skis EVER.
Me: Really?? Why?
Pro: because you have to ski groomers to get to the lift
Me: That's why they have sidecut and camber-and metal edges just like yours
Pro: they are way to fat to ski groomers
Me: I hate to tell you, but these are not my widest boards.
Me: You ever tried them?
Pro: No
Me: Well that's a little close minded for a TEACHER, Isn't it?

Obviously, I was being a little too nice because of the bucketheads (they were cool)

He went on to blab about how he didn't know anything and was from New York City and Blah, Blah, Blah.

Me: I just talked to the 5yr olds and went on to ski some pow

Pretty Good Day

where at?

my favorite thing to do to other instructors that are closed minded is get them to ski trees with me.

everyday at stowe on snoops. Man those are big why are you skiing them today. Me i like them on moguls and groomers

**old goat** · 01-04-2010, 07:15 PM

I truly like to read this thread, but may I gently suggest that we refrain from post concerning 1)how wide our skis are 2) where they put the moguls in the summer, 3) deer turning into elk and visa versa, and a few others that escape me at the moment. Leave room for the gems--like the recent avy beacon one, or the Seth one, or the lady who thought the camelback was oxygen.

**Eluder** · 01-04-2010, 11:02 PM

But how else will I tell everyone here how fat my skis are?

**Crampedon** · 01-04-2010, 11:06 PM

Heard here ealier tonight:

Originally Posted by Danno

only users lose drugs

**spanghew** · 01-04-2010, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by farmer

always get a kick out of people who choose to read something and then get butt-hurt over what they read. (not like you couldn't get an idea of what this was about from the title)

sorry: you need to be smarter than the rotted end of a fencepost to post in this thread, and it's clear you don't qualify.

**HotTate** · 01-05-2010, 11:52 PM

Standing at the bottom of Sublette chair in JH, liftie telling everyone it's about to close for the day.

Dude #1: "I think I'm good, I'm tired, I'll see you guys down at McCollister's (umm, you mean The Village Cafe)
Dude #2 (the alpha dog): Oh come on!!!!
Dude #3: I guess I can do one last lap
Dude #2: ...wait for it....

"HIS LEGS ARE TIRED? WHEN WE'RE ON DENALI, DO YOU THINK THE MOUNTAIN IS GOING TO GIVE A SHIT!!!!"

**Phill** · 01-06-2010, 12:07 AM

Originally Posted by HotTate

Standing at the bottom of Sublette chair in JH, liftie telling everyone it's about to close for the day.

Dude #1: "I think I'm good, I'm tired, I'll see you guys down at McCollister's (umm, you mean The Village Cafe)
Dude #2 (the alpha dog): Oh come on!!!!
Dude #3: I guess I can do one last lap
Dude #2: ...wait for it....

"HIS LEGS ARE TIRED? WHEN WE'RE ON DENALI, DO YOU THINK THE MOUNTAIN IS GOING TO GIVE A SHIT!!!!"

Helldawg · 01-06-2010, 09:21 AM

Denali? Uber rad!

**The Schralper** · 01-06-2010, 09:40 AM

Chamonix, carrying the pontoons

"look that guy has one of those new backcountry splitting snowboard things"

cue facepalm

**legallyillegal** · 01-06-2010, 09:50 AM

"Look, those people are cross-countrying down the mountain!"

**jmf** · 01-06-2010, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by legallyillegal

"Look, those people are cross-countrying down the mountain!"

LOL - I just heard that one yesterday and was coming in here to post about it...

**4matic** · 01-06-2010, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by The Schralper

Chamonix, carrying the pontoons

"look that guy has one of those new backcountry splitting snowboard things"

cue facepalm

But that's what they are aren't they? Snowboards in drag?

**grrrr** · 01-06-2010, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by ms ann thrope

sorry: you need to be smarter than the rotted end of a fencepost to post in this thread, and it's clear you don't qualify.

Nor do you, but that hasn't stopped you.

**The Schralper** · 01-06-2010, 11:16 AM

but with bindings on and 191cm lenght?? haha

**BestofShow** · 01-06-2010, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by ms ann thrope

reveal some of the most immature and clueless poseurs I hope to never meet:

followed by judging others

You have done both of these in a single post. Revealed yourself as clueless, followed by judging everyone in this thread. Take your hypocritical posts elsewhere, so I can get back to enjoy a few laughs no matter who or where they come from.

**SitSki13** · 01-06-2010, 03:34 PM

There's a country music festival at Steamboat right now, along with the 13,000 texans that arrived to yeehaw and look for 'powder areas'. I always get a lot of gaper questions and bizzare comments whenever I ski 'cos a lot of people haven't seen a sitski before.
But today made me smile even more than normal.

While getting into the ski at the base a guy with a cowboy hat was watching and was asking the normal questions; "How do you stop that thing?" Whenever someone asks me that I always say something like "Oh I normally just find a tree or snowboarder to crash into". But this guy started asking more and more questions and obviously didn't have any idea how skis work at all:

Cowboy: How do you steer that thing?
Me: I just get it on edge by leaning and get the ski to work the rest.
Cowboy: Oh yeah, but you must have some kind of steering mechanism on there right?
Me: No, just the ski.
Cowboy: So how do you go straight?
Me: Gravity.
Cowboy: How does that work?
Me: Bye, have a great day.

**JimmyCarter** · 01-06-2010, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by SitSki13

Cowboy: So how do you go straight?
Me: Gravity.
Cowboy: How does that work?
Me: Bye, have a great day.

Awesome.

**OSECS** · 01-06-2010, 04:10 PM

^^^^^^ That should be on a T shirt !!! Friggin' hilarious !!!

**gaijin** · 01-06-2010, 09:14 PM

me- How are ya today?
him- my back is fucked.
me- what happened?
him- some idiot built the jump wrong. There was a big divot in the landing.

**Enzomatic** · 01-06-2010, 09:34 PM

I know it says weekend but I gotta get this one out.

"I want my money back! These conditions are horrible, I never would have come here if I knew it would be this shitty!"

Heinous bitch with the thickest Jersey accent you could imagine after her first run on an 18" powder day. Location: Killington, VT

**PulverSchwein** · 01-06-2010, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by Enzomatic

I know it says weekend but I gotta get this one out.

"I want my money back! These conditions are horrible, I never would have come here if I knew it would be this shitty!"

Heinous bitch with the thickest Jersey accent you could imagine after her first run on an 18" powder day. Location: Killington, VT

yeah we're only really digging the weekends funnehs. Go make a weekday gaper quote thread JONG!!

**ego7man** · 01-06-2010, 09:47 PM

This gave me quite the kick. On chairlift with some gaper on 160ish race skis. I'm on 195 motherships.

Gaper: wow, how long are those skis?
Me: 195s
Gaper: (laughs) I didn't even know they made skis that long anymore
Me: uhhh yeah
Gaper: I guess all you can do is ski straight down the hill and hope you don't die (laughs)

At that point I just looked away and waited, impatiently, to get off the chair.