Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Lelandjt** · 11-27-2009, 10:57 PM

Little beach is ruined for me. There used to be way fewer gay couples fondling each other, some impressive fire dancers, and a few hot chicks. Not any more.

**Sawtooth kid** · 11-28-2009, 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by skikola

Between yesterday and today, I have seen the full spectrum of gaper-tourist-debauchery. The best one I have ever heard though has got to be, "Are the entrances to the ski lodges very big?" Turned out this person thought that you walked around the lodge with your skis on, and only clicked out of the bindings when you get back your car.

You have got to be fucking kidding me?

**abraham** · 11-28-2009, 10:14 PM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

Not a quote, but yesterday I saw a skier in a full-on motorcycle helmet. My 9 yr old son sez to me, 'hey dad, look at the guy with the motorcycle helmet'. Turning to look I automatically said, 'it's probably just a full-face.....' But it wasn't. Sure enough, it was, as my boy said, a motorcycle helmet. WTF?

If that was at Stevens, It could have been me.

: Black fox fullface? Its a bike helmet. Got it as an overreaction to some nasty crashes by some friends this fall biking, and I'm thinking about using it for skiing some too

**Gnar_Butter** · 11-28-2009, 11:44 PM

I was sitting on a lift in Winter Park. It was band week so there were buss loads of kids there. This kid starts telling me that he gave up snowboarding because he had learned all the tricks already and it got boring. So he decided that skiing would be his next challenge. He then tells me that he is going to spend all day in the park working on his back flip. There was 2 feet of powder the last thing I was going to do that day was to go be in the park. Later that day I find out that he did not land a back flip but did manage to break his left arm I laughed alot after this.

**LightRanger** · 11-29-2009, 01:56 AM

In working as a children's instructor for nine years at one of Tahoe's most "gaperish" resorts, I've heard a few good ones.

The usual, "Hey! Your bindings are broken!" while teleing. But that's not super surprising.

My favorite though, is this exchange (which I've made numerous times)...

Gaper Parent (on the phone, or in person): "When's it going to stop snowing?"
Me: "Oh, on Friday at 8:04AM."
Gaper Parent: "Ok!"

You learn to take it in stride because we were all like that once upon a time, in one sport or another. It still gives you a bit of a chuckle though.

**khyber.pass** · 11-29-2009, 02:16 AM

Originally Posted by Crampedon

Ban lifted, big beach now end to end with hot young fine girls watching the local bro's skimboard into the shore-break. Pics to follow.

Warning: do not go over the hill to little beach without a gaydar beacon and beer goggles. Set beacon to repel.

Last time I was on Maui, Little Beach was full of nekkid 20sometings. Or less.

Today's gaper quote. Whilst occupied behind the counter, couple walks in. "This new jacket won't carry my lunch. Do you have a chestpack?"

No. Why not try a small backpack?

"Won't it damage the jacket?"

No, that's a $700 Arc Teryx jacket designed for ice climbing. Your jacket will be fine.

"But I've seen patrollers with chestpacks."

That's a radio harness. You can't carry a lunch and water in it. We do carry small backpacks though.

"Will Whistler allow you to wear one on the chair?"

Sure. Though I take mine off before riding the chair.

"I ski everywhere and they won't let you have a backpack on the chair."

Umm..

"Do you sell fanny packs?"

No.

"Well I can't fit one under the jacket anyway."

Fanny packs are bulky. But if you wanted one, it should go over the top.

"Won't it damage the jacket?"

==

Repeat.

I tried to sell her a Seth Morrison styled BD Bandit, but no luck.

Lovely couple. Don't get me wrong. But still. Humans have been carrying backpacks for millenia. We don't need to try and reinvent that wheel.

**Chugachjed** · 11-29-2009, 03:09 AM

Originally Posted by Gnar_Butter

I was sitting on a lift in Winter Park. It was band week so there were buss loads of kids there. This kid starts telling me that he gave up snowboarding because he had learned all the tricks already and it got boring. So he decided that skiing would be his next challenge. He then tells me that he is going to spend all day in the park working on his back flip. There was 2 feet of powder the last thing I was going to do that day was to go be in the park. Later that day I find out that he did not land a back flip but did manage to break his left arm I laughed alot after this.

What's so funny about a kid breaking his arm. You're an asshole.

**Pancakes** · 11-29-2009, 03:35 AM

Originally Posted by Chugachjed

What's so funny about a kid breaking his arm. You're an asshole.

I thought it was funny. Didn't you all think it was funny? (Yes, they all though it was funny too). So Instead of complaining, why don't you make your mouth useful and suck on my enormous balls? You can give Gnar_Butter a hand job while you're at it.

Helldawg · 11-29-2009, 09:06 AM

Kids arms breaking are usually only funny when you don't see the bone. Other than that it's a riot.

**Garth Bimble** · 11-29-2009, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by Helldawg

Kids arms breaking are usually only funny when you don't see the bone. Other than that it's a riot.

Not as funny as a severe case of gigantism...did you see "The Elephant Man"? That was some funny shit.

Originally Posted by Pancakes

So Instead of complaining, why don't you make your mouth useful and suck on my enormous balls?

**gisforgaper** · 11-29-2009, 10:25 AM

For Christ's sakes stop cunting up this thread!

My Gaper event of the weekend was having to explain to an employee at a Bay Area shop what a booster strap is and what it's used for (and then showing her exactly where it was located in the shop). The friendly employee thought it was a stretchy carrying strap so your boots don't feel so heavy. She was new.

**SkiFreeor...** · 11-29-2009, 06:26 PM

At the Bird on Friday:

Girl: My friends skis are over his head.
Guy: Wow that's so cool, he must be good.

**anjinsan** · 11-29-2009, 11:44 PM

Last year, 1st ride of the day on the lift:

My 7yr old son looks up at me and says, "Dad, I'm gonna shred the gnar today". "Good', says I. There is a moment of pause and he looks up and says,"Dad,......what's a gnar??" I choke back a laugh and say, " Gosh, buddy,..... I don't know BUT I KNOW you are going to shred it". He looks down, nods his head and quietly says, "Yeah, I'm going to shred it"

At lunch I told my wife the story and she nearly spit out her soup laughing. On the way home I asked him if he 'shredded the gnar'. "Yeah", says he. I then winked at my wife and asked him he found out what a gnar was. "Yeah,......anything I ski", says the little man. I just grinned in the rearview mirror at my little maggot.

**wind_dummy** · 11-29-2009, 11:51 PM

Originally Posted by anjinsan

Last year, 1st ride of the day on the lift:

My 7yr old son looks up at me and says, "Dad, I'm gonna shred the gnar today". "Good', says I. There is a moment of pause and he looks up and says,"Dad,......what's a gnar??" I choke back a laugh and say, " Gosh, buddy,..... I don't know BUT I KNOW you are going to shred it". He looks down, nods his head and quietly says, "Yeah, I'm going to shred it"

At lunch I told my wife the story and she nearly spit out her soup laughing. On the way home I asked him if he 'shredded the gnar'. "Yeah", says he. I then winked at my wife and asked him he found out what a gnar was. "Yeah,......anything I ski", says the little man. I just grinned in the rearview mirror at my little maggot.

Gotta' be the best thing I have read in awhile. The kid has got it goin' on. Thanks for the laugh.

**Crampedon** · 11-30-2009, 02:15 AM

Originally Posted by wind_dummy

Gotta' be the best thing I have read in awhile. The kid has got it goin' on. Thanks for the laugh.

That is mint.

Take a bow, you have spawned the youngest maggot to date!

**skiingsamurai** · 11-30-2009, 01:52 PM

I just remembered this one from earlier this year

Coming down from the Muir Snowfields on Rainier in mid Sept:

Woman: (looking at my pack with skis strapped to it) Im sorry, but I have to ask, what are the skis for?
Me: Better reception for my iPod
Woman: you mean iPhone right?
Me: nope, I hiked all the way up there so my mp3 player would work better
Woman: Really, seems like a waste to me
Me: really? It hadn't crossed my mind to drag my skis and boots up to 10000 feet to get the only skiing in the PNW
Woman: you went skiing? Is there snow?
Me: look up, youll see snow everywhere
Woman: wow, your right

this made me laugh, cry, hate her, love her, and want to drive my pole through her temple all at the same time

**carvedog** · 11-30-2009, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by anjinsan

"Yeah", says he. I then winked at my wife and asked him he found out what a gnar was. "Yeah,......anything I ski", says the little man. I just grinned in the rearview mirror at my little maggot.

God Bless the little ones. You have done well.

**Feldybikes** · 11-30-2009, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by anjinsan

My 7yr old son looks up at me and says, "Dad, I'm gonna shred the gnar today".... I then winked at my wife and asked him he found out what a gnar was. "Yeah,......anything I ski", says the little man. I just grinned in the rearview mirror at my little maggot.

Coolest thing I've ever read on this site!

**AlpiNord** · 11-30-2009, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by anjinsan

Last year, 1st ride of the day on the lift:

My 7yr old son looks up at me and says, "Dad, I'm gonna shred the gnar today". "Good', says I. There is a moment of pause and he looks up and says,"Dad,......what's a gnar??" I choke back a laugh and say, " Gosh, buddy,..... I don't know BUT I KNOW you are going to shred it". He looks down, nods his head and quietly says, "Yeah, I'm going to shred it"

At lunch I told my wife the story and she nearly spit out her soup laughing. On the way home I asked him if he 'shredded the gnar'. "Yeah", says he. I then winked at my wife and asked him he found out what a gnar was. "Yeah,......anything I ski", says the little man. I just grinned in the rearview mirror at my little maggot.

What is this doing in a gaper quote thread? It's priceless and should be the start of an antithesis to this one. My young ski buddy has said things along these lines and you simply cannot top these moments. Thanks for sharing.

**akgnar** · 12-02-2009, 09:32 PM

So i attempted to show this to my girlfriend for some entertainment value and upon first sight she exclaimed, "ahhhh, look at the moose!" fail....

Originally Posted by akokskis

Not exactly a quote, but something that I saw which makes me wanna facepalm myself none the less...

UGH! Learn your ungulates peoples!

**Chugachjed** · 12-03-2009, 01:09 AM

Originally Posted by akgnar

So i attempted to show this to my girlfriend for some entertainment value and upon first sight she exclaimed, "ahhhh, look at the moose!" fail....

Really... I'm flabbergasted. Either you don't live in Alaska or she's a recent transplant.

**BushwackerinPA** · 12-03-2009, 09:13 AM

in europe that is a moose, and in a moose is called an elk over in euro land.

she could be euro, or REALLY dumb.

**oftpiste** · 12-03-2009, 10:26 AM

I got whacked on the head by the #*&^#%$^@ safety bar being lowered without warning at least 5 times last weekend. Never ceases to amaze me they can't seem to notice they're not the only ones on the lift.

**paulster2626** · 12-03-2009, 10:39 AM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

I got whacked on the head by the #*&^#%$^@ safety bar being lowered without warning at least 5 times last weekend. Never ceases to amaze me they can't seem to notice they're not the only ones on the lift.

Who needs a warning?

1) Wear a helmet.
2) Keep your head back.
3) Remember - the bar comes down EVERY time.

Be more attentive. Why are you leaning forward anyway?

**SkiFreeor...** · 12-03-2009, 10:44 AM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

I got whacked on the head by the #*&^#%$^@ safety bar being lowered without warning at least 5 times last weekend. Never ceases to amaze me they can't seem to notice they're not the only ones on the lift.

Who uses the bars anymore? Unless of course you are the one using it only to hit people in the head.