Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**misfit toy** · 10-21-2009, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by brannen

Made the mistake of going out today. No headphones. Heard many a sweet comments from Texans in line, but a Nebraskan gets my vote today.
"Them there moguls were made for kids skis, not the big long ones we're on'" - 6'2" guy from Omaha on 153 rentals

How ye know what it feel like lest ye put your hand on it. How ye know what it taste like lest ye put your toung on it. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE UNLESS YOU PUT YOUR EYE ON IT!

.

**Canada Guy** · 10-22-2009, 03:38 PM

At Kickinghorse in Golden there is a gondola car called the "V.I.P." car which is pretty much like any other car but it has a little stereo and some padded arm rests on the seat. I think it is totally BS because the car pretty much rides empty all of the time.

So some lady with a horrible hackney British accent say that she won't get in one of the regular cars, she wants to hold up the line and wait for the "VIP" car to come back down. Keep in mind there are only one or two of them if I remember correctly, so she wants to wait for all of the cars to cycle through while she waits because she paid sooo much money to fly to Canada and go skiing and that makes her a V.I.P.

**2nd mate** · 10-22-2009, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by marshalolson

guy on chairlift: look at those skis on that guy in front of us!!! they are those rockered ones.

me: ok

G.O.C: those are only good for the powder. i don't know why you would ski on them today (2 runs open at loveland in october). you need to have a ski with metal and a tight sidecut (he has neither in his skis... atomic sx:7) to get the most out of todays conditions

me: you should probably watch how he skis...

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

me: seriously, you should watch how he skis them...

G.O.C: i just don't get it. it is not a powder day.

me: [turn ipod louder and wish the lift was faster]

skis in question: obsethed.
skier with skis in question: seth morrison

1) Lock out this thread!
2) Sticky!
3) New Gaper Quote thread.

**deephuckin** · 10-22-2009, 11:42 PM

"Bradford now with glade skiing"

their trail map is priceless. 2 trees=glades. 1 tree=an extreme black diamond

**whyturn** · 10-22-2009, 11:51 PM

Guy asks me if the toons are water skis
I say no they are pontoons. Gaper: Like the plane. Me: Yes they plane quite well. Him: I don't get it

Thats ok, more trees for me

**joblandaesthetics** · 10-23-2009, 05:32 PM

I was waiting at the mid-station at the Snowmass ganjola last season with two friends waiting for an empty cabin to show up, and we let an older couple pass us to get on an semi-occupied one. When they walked by the wife asked what we were doing standing around and the husband replied, "hunny, I believe those boys are waiting for the smoking cabin."

Some gapers actually know what's up. right on.

**NSOutWest** · 10-23-2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by deephuckin

their trail map is priceless. 2 trees=glades. 1 tree=an extreme black diamond

That isn't bad at all. There is a run at a local hill called "Glades" without a single tree on it. It's the widest straight line on the hill.

**old goat** · 10-23-2009, 06:07 PM

Maybe they should call it Sonny's Run

**phuckhuck** · 10-27-2009, 10:32 PM

The Seth quote deserves a thread of it's own.....I've read it like 6 times in the past week or so and it still friggin gets me laughing. Winner winner chicken dinner.

**jefffski** · 11-01-2009, 06:29 PM

1.
At the backcountry gate on blackcomb, in a whiteout, my buddy and I, deciding against venturing out because of zero vis, spot 2 teens sitting in the snow, just outside the patrolled area.

Me: um, you guys heading out?
Teens: yeah.
Me: Do you have avy gear?
Teens: Ya, we got beekers.
Me: Do you have shovels and probes?
Teens: Naw.

2.
Looking out the window, staring at the snow covered norht shore mountains of vancouver, i have this conversation with my roomate, a east indian man with a master's degree in computer science who had been living in the US for about 10 years:
Him: So, do the mountains change shape?
Me: Huh? whaddyamean?
Him: Well, are they always the same shape?
Me: They do change shape, but on a geological scale.
Him: What's that?

3.
About 20 years ago a fellow passenger on the chairlift,seeing that I was on tele skis, says "I'd be afraid to ski on those things--you could poke an eye out."

It was a few years ago, and the skis were 195cm, but I replied that I had never heard of such a thing (and I still have not).

That run, you guessed it--I fell and poked myself in the eye on one of the ski tips. Got a black eye too. Weird.

**Grasshopper11** · 11-01-2009, 06:41 PM

The illusion is the amount of difference between maggots and Texans.

**bumperski** · 11-01-2009, 07:42 PM

Nearing end of Keystone's Season in a big southern drawl: What do you do with all those hay bails on the hill? (speaking of the hay bails that must be used to create the moguls on the mogul runs)

**Kevcinma** · 11-02-2009, 01:24 PM

Pretty much anytime anybody ever complains about ice in New England. It is kind of like complaining about all the water around you when your on a boat. Why did you get on the boat?

New England Ski Resorts

**Parvo** · 11-02-2009, 02:46 PM

I just returned from a 4-day consumer ski show in LA, answering questions about park city resorts.

Lost of geographically challenged folks.

Lady: Do you have information on Steamboat?
Me: Steamboat… Utah???
Lady: Yes, my friend has a timeshare there and we’re planning a trip.
Me: Steamboat is in Colorado.
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: No.

Another Lady: Do you know where the Sun Valley booth is?
Me: They're over in the Idaho resorts section
Lady: Idaho? Why aren't they with the other Colorado resorts?
Me: It was probably cheaper that way.
Lady: Ohhh. That makes sense. Thanks.

Man: Where do you fly in to?
Me: Salt Lake, super easy access from there to the resorts.
Man: Salt Lake has an airport?
Me: Yeah, a big one. Salt Lake International.
Man: They must have built that for the Olympics then, huh?
Me: Yes.

Man (who didn’t appear to be a homo): We’ll never come back to Utah because of proposition 8.
Me: Utah residents don’t vote in CA. That’s your law, in fact, if I really cared about it, I would have boycotted California and stayed home because you’re the ones who passed it.
Man: Whatever. Hey, are these posters free? (grabbed a couple posters and stickers of all the Utah resorts)

**webboy** · 11-02-2009, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by jefffski

That run, you guessed it--I fell and poked myself in the eye on one of the ski tips. Got a black eye too. Weird.

crazy

**jonesy** · 11-02-2009, 04:25 PM

Your bound to get a remark wearing a ski shirt. Complete strange says, Oh we have a condo there,ect. OK?

**stupid idiot** · 11-02-2009, 04:39 PM

"U think u need a stiffer boot 4 that DH Board?"

**PuderLuder** · 11-02-2009, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

Man (who didn’t appear to be a homo): We’ll never come back to Utah because of proposition 8.
Me: Utah residents don’t vote in CA. That’s your law, in fact, if I really cared about it, I would have boycotted California and stayed home because you’re the ones who passed it.
Man: Whatever. Hey, are these posters free? (grabbed a couple posters and stickers of all the Utah resorts)

Wasn't prop 8 largely funded by The LDS (yes, even though it was in CA)? Maybe that is what he was talking about.

**utard** · 11-02-2009, 11:58 PM

(Guy from Oklahoma in jeans eyes my Public Enemies): You a racer?

(Gaper spends a few minutes checking out my Full Tilts): Why are you wearing those? Rear-entry boots SUCK!

**akokskis** · 11-03-2009, 12:06 AM

Not exactly a quote, but something that I saw which makes me wanna facepalm myself none the less...

UGH! Learn your ungulates peoples!

**utard** · 11-03-2009, 12:09 AM

Originally Posted by akokskis

UGH! Learn your ungulates peoples!

Duh. Everyone knows that's a deer.

**akokskis** · 11-03-2009, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by utard

Duh. Everyone knows that's a deer.

Maybe it is in Utardia...

**utard** · 11-03-2009, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by jenniferzhu85

http://www.tradeshoes9.com/

Smells like SPAM in here.

**adam** · 11-17-2009, 11:33 PM

I can't decide whats funnier, all the good quotes in this thread or all the people who take themselves way do seriously.

**Spyplane** · 11-18-2009, 06:57 AM

Wow, I just killed a ton of time on this thread, enjoying every minute of it until I came to Marshal's post re:Seth. I just don't know how it is going to be topped, so everything else will now be a letdown.