Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**kinosoo** · 04-11-2009, 08:40 PM

not sure if anyone reads the comments on CBC but this one takes it i think. hope hes not being serious.

"What a tragedy. How could this happen to such innocent victims. Shouldn't avalanches be banned or at least registered?"

there are lots of other stupid ones out there to most people don't understand what backcountry means, at least cbc is not putting the pic of the "closed - avalanche danger" sign from whistler any more.

"I hope this guy wasn't in the out of bounds area......you'd think people would wake up by now. We've had too many deaths this winter because of it." - with reference to sledding....

**jero-j-town** · 04-12-2009, 10:52 AM

riding up storm peak with a gaper in jeans, longhorns ball cap, and rental gear. He says "so we're pretty close to the continental divide here?". I answer "yeah 5 or 10 miles". Then He says "Damn, how far does that thing run anyways?"

**NickAA** · 04-20-2009, 01:17 PM

At the top of Crystal on a beautiful day looking at Mt Rainer and the stacked lenticular clouds.
(Lenticular clouds are stationary lens-shaped clouds that form at high altitudes. They're the clouds that look like hoods or hats above a peak.)

Lady tells her friends like she totally knows what she's talking about:
"Those are testicular clouds."
Bob: "Well, we'd better get out of here before they let loose!"

No qualms with not being an expert, but this was a hilarious mispronunciation.

**buckethead** · 04-20-2009, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

One of my roommates isn't so much a gaper, but says a lot of gaperific things. For a guy who works for a ski company, he has a lot of excuses for not skiing. He's been maybe 5 or 6 times this winter... and we live at the bottom of a ski resort.

Two weekends ago he didn't ski with us because he was still pretty shaken up over McConkey's death (even though, like us, he only knew him from the movies)

Last weekend, after a ton of new snow, he didn't ski Friday because he was depressed they may have layoffs at his office (which skiing would be the perfect way to forget your troubles) and didn't ski Saturday because he ... "already put a layer of storage wax on his bases and won't be taking them out again this season."

seems to me relatively few jobs in skiing lead to lots of time on skis.
with his job (and storage wax) it sounds like your roommate has found a perfect way to avoid the snow. what a waste of proximity

**mcski** · 04-20-2009, 03:02 PM

Squaw Gaper patronizingly shouts down gfriend/wife: "I think I know where the Goldcoast lift is!" and proceeds to march into the cafeteria lodge entrance with all his gear.
I tell the wife the actual lift is and she splits while he is still inside.

**karpiel** · 04-20-2009, 03:28 PM

**lurk** · 04-20-2009, 04:03 PM

^^^^nice job Vince^^^^.....very nice job.

**mtnjam** · 04-21-2009, 01:24 PM

Alright I'll play:

Lift ticket line hilarity at Brundage last Saturday (4/18/09).

Mrs Mtnjam and myself head up to Brundage for the day. Standing in line, waiting patiently for about 5 people in front of us. The guy at the window is being super cool to everyone until redneck guy starts laying into him about the price of the lift ticket. Mind you, this is one of Brundage's "bonus" weekends so we're just lucky to be able to still ski this weekend. They have the lift ticket prices discounted. The deal is something like, a full day ticket for a half day price.

Well what redneck guy thought they meant was it was half off $52 which would have made it $26 so he's arguing with the ticket window guy about this for about 5 minutes. Meanwhile the ticket line is getting longer, the energy of the line is getting annoyed especially me. Finally I say "dude, just pay for the ticket, we all came up here to have fun, we didn't come up here to argue...".

Redneck guy lays into me telling me that Brundage has mislead him and that they misadvertised the price of a lift ticket and that he can't afford to pay for lift tickets and rentals, he babbles something about the wife having the money so we'll have to go check with her.

Mrs. Mtnjam says that "the deal read that Full Day lift ticket for half day price" which was $43, but with a Bogus Basin pass or other season pass it's another $11 off. I think redneck guy was pissed about this too. He keeps arguing with the ticket window guy about the price and finally I say a little under my breath but knowing he could still hear me "what a fuckin' douche"

He wheels around and says "did you just call me a fuckin' douche?"

I say, "yep, I did"

Replies, "I'm gonna kick your ass buddy"

Me, "really? In front of all these people and in front of the lift ticket window guy you've been arguing with?"

Nothing more is said, he gives me the stink eye and Mrs Mtnjam and I go on our way to get our lift tickets. The guy at the lift ticket window is now very cordial with us, smiling and happy I called out redneck guy.

Normally I'm not the type to say that kind of thing, but this guy was getting to be too much for me and the rest of the line to handle.

**imadoofus** · 04-23-2009, 02:40 PM

the girl (looking at the skis in my room) : why do you need all these skis?
me : its to color match the ski pants
the girl : i dont even have ski pants anymore.
me: you should ski naked.
girl: hypothermia? legs falling off?
me: I'll keep you warm.
the girl: how will you do that?
me: we'll just go into the bushes occasionally.
the girl: there are no bushes on the mountain. just trees
me: there are bushes amongst the trees
the girl: no there are not. there are mongols among the trees.
me : mongols? like yellow skinned people from asia? like genghis khan?
me : why would they be hiding in the trees?
the girl: no no. MONGULS. The man made thing.
me: You must mean moguls
the girl: Obviously I havent been skiing in a long time.

I had thought that I heard all variants of the mogul story after reading this thread. but this happened yesterday night and just cracked me up.
And no, I am not pink poles boy and dont have matching pants,shoelaces etc.

**karpiel** · 04-23-2009, 03:05 PM

Originally Posted by imadoofus

me: we'll just go into the bushes occasionally.
the girl: there are no bushes on the mountain. just trees
me: there are bushes amongst the trees

Missed a chance there.

**karpiel** · 06-28-2009, 09:01 PM

Woman today while I was waiting for the lift to open in WP...

"Is there anything up there?"

I had no clue how to respond to that.

**userpro64** · 06-28-2009, 09:11 PM

Originally Posted by karpiel

nice vid man!

**coretard** · 06-29-2009, 08:25 AM

Thinking about trying to ski denali next season. Just trying to put a little info together before committing to it. So basically looking for anyone with first hand info of the messner couloir or orient express (or any other viable ski descent line). What's the skiing like in terms of technical difficulty, did you climb the route you skied & had you any other major difficulties in doing it?

**EC_tech** · 06-29-2009, 08:59 AM

Originally Posted by cu77

Thinking about trying to ski denali next season. Just trying to put a little info together before committing to it. So basically looking for anyone with first hand info of the messner couloir or orient express (or any other viable ski descent line). What's the skiing like in terms of technical difficulty, did you climb the route you skied & had you any other major difficulties in doing it?

wrong thread dude

**coretard** · 06-29-2009, 09:16 AM

wrong thread dude

**Pancakes** · 06-29-2009, 03:28 PM

"Holy Crap! Look at that Slab!!!" -said while a 14 foot crack fractures below his feet.

**Memizuki** · 06-29-2009, 11:02 PM

While on Chair 6 at Alyeska, sitting next to 2 obviously cool guys.
I have a "I heart the Chugach" sticker on one of my skies. Guy looks down and says
"You heart the Chugach Huh?!"
Me- "Yea Great Skiing"
Guy - "Really, wheres that at?"

**durangotang** · 06-30-2009, 12:11 PM

forgot about this one for a while but I just remembered about it today.

I'm talking to this guy on the chairlift at a-basin. He's talking about his girlfriend and saying some shit about how she sucks at snowboarding and should try skiing because it's so much easier. This kind of pissed me off right away but I let it go. Then he mentions he's from Texas and says this:

"You know, one thing I've for sure noticed is that people are way less moral here in Colorado when compared to Texas."

I can't believe he just said this to me even after I just told him I was born and raised in CO. In an attempt to not get pissed off I change the subject and ask him what he does. He tells me that after he graduated college he went into the army and now he's unemployed. I then ask him about his girlfriend and he says that she just graduated.
"Where did she graduate?" I ask him.

"Golden High School" he responds.

I'm lucky I didn't fall off the chairlift.

"So you're like 26 years old or something, you're dating an 18 year old, you're unemployed, and you think people from Colorado have bad morals?" I ask him.

"Yessssir"

Unbelievable.

**Scree Shredder** · 10-03-2009, 09:26 PM

This thread is great just found it goofing off at work provided at least an hour of entertainment. In Big Sky we run the lifts in the summer too for mountain bikes and Ziplines so the gaper coments flow year round.
"Is this where we get the tickets for the gliders?" gaper refering to lifts
"Do we take the lift back down after we take the zipline up?" Ya thats how gravity works
"What time of year do the dear turn into elk?" I've heard this multiple times believe it or not.

**LukeS** · 10-03-2009, 10:25 PM

How about the Classic river,
"How does the water get back to the top?"

Most WW guides get it but undelievably I get it once in a while rowing a drift boat....

**huckster989** · 10-20-2009, 11:46 AM

i'll toss one in:
while riding chair 6 at Baker the week after thanksgiving i'm sitting with a friend and 2 unknown skiers from the city of bellevue (if you know seattle you know this is gonna be good) we discuss how our thanksgivings went:

gaper: "mine sucked I had to wax my sail boat before putting it away for the winter and it was so damn cold and rainy out it sucked"

me: " yeah lifes a bitch ain't it"

gaper: glares and is not sure how to respond

we laugh he looks upset mission accomplished

**2nd mate** · 10-20-2009, 02:45 PM

Just remmebered this one. Waiting for the tram on an empty midweek day at Jay. A guy says to his two buddies as he shows him his cambered carving skis.
"all the pros ski on FLAT skis like these"

**Jongette** · 10-20-2009, 02:50 PM

Last year during a serious storm at Loveland I overheard two old dudes from the east coast (based on their accent) talking about how they would hate to be in THAT helicopter on a day like today.

Uh, that's a SEMI-TRUCK with an engine break, not a helicopter...

**ACheateaux** · 10-20-2009, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by Nuthon

While working the front desk for Kirkwood lodging, had a lady come in around July & ask me
"Where do you put your moguls in the summertime"

I could not respond to this(due to an uncontrolable feeling of laughter that was welling up inside of me) and proceeded to walk into the back office & sent my manager out to answer her question.

While living in WinterPark, this was one of my all time favorites. After I stopped laughing in the Texans face, I told him..
"Theyre Volkswagen beetles. We just start em' up and park them in the lots during summer."

**ACheateaux** · 10-20-2009, 04:15 PM

Then there's always the gem my wife caught at Wolf Creek...

Texan in duster and face mask "You must not be a very good skier to be skiing in a (cowboy) hat!"

Texan in Carharts and said hat "Nope, you just dont know how to wear a hat."