Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**stevenspass4life** · 03-25-2009, 12:51 PM

"I hate powder"

some skier said that to me earlier this year up at stevens, I was shocked yet so happy. I wish everyone hated fresh snow.

**mogul5480** · 03-25-2009, 01:10 PM

Ran into an old acquaintance of mine in SF over the weekend. We ended up talking about the fact that he had been up to Squaw on Saturday (the day before) and I asked why they bailed and missed the big pow day on Sunday. His quote:
"My girlfriend grew up a racer, so she doesn't like powder...or bumps....or trees." I have several things to say about that:
1) Some of the best racers I ever knew growing up are now patrollers at Snowbird, heli guides, etc., so that's a crock.
2) Given the above, clearly what you mean is, "My girlfriend thinks she's a good skier b/c she got a NASTAR gold pin when she was 10, and her ego hurts too much to gape around in any kind of unfamiliar terrain."
3) If your girlfriend prevents you from enjoying 3 feet of cold smoke, you get a new girlfriend...

**mtskier** · 03-25-2009, 02:16 PM

today i saw the 3 biggest gaper "accessories" i have ever seen. all on men @ 40 years old.

1. at the morning line up waiting for the chairs to spin, it was snowing, but nothing crazy. this guy breaks out an UMBRELLA. WTF! are you kidding me? does he know he can't ski with it. harden the fuck up.

2. a shower cap for goggles. it wasn't the goggle bag. this guy had his goggles on his helmet with this powder blue "bag" with elastic edges to hold it in place. isn't that just an instant fog bag?

3. i'm sure this is not new to anyone: bells hanging from jacket. what is that? is it to warn people that a shitty skiing is about slam into your back?

**carvedog** · 03-25-2009, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by mogul5480

Ran into an old acquaintance of mine in SF over the weekend. We ended up talking about the fact that he had been up to Squaw on Saturday (the day before) and I asked why they bailed and missed the big pow day on Sunday. His quote:
"My girlfriend grew up a racer, so she doesn't like powder...or bumps....or trees." I have several things to say about that:
1) Some of the best racers I ever knew growing up are now patrollers at Snowbird, heli guides, etc., so that's a crock.
2) Given the above, clearly what you mean is, "My girlfriend thinks she's a good skier b/c she got a NASTAR gold pin when she was 10, and her ego hurts too much to gape around in any kind of unfamiliar terrain."
3) If your girlfriend prevents you from enjoying 3 feet of cold smoke, you get a new girlfriend...

Glad you said acquaintance. He's prolly one of those guys who stays home and watches Oprah and pays women to crap on him. Good for you he was gone I guess. Trying to get in someone's head like that is like trying to get into the mind of serial killer or some shit. Just no point of reference.

**Lacy Underalls** · 03-26-2009, 05:28 PM

I heard this today but first let me set the scene. A foot and a half new on top of 8 inches yesterday, 10 to 15 degrees, still puking big time. I ride the chair single with some touristas. I tell them I live here and one proceeds to say "I wouldn't think locals would come out and ski in these conditions!" My reply of "these conditions is the reason we moved here" was met with stunned silence. Classic.

**wood_stones** · 03-26-2009, 06:32 PM

This was said at Mt Baker Wednesday Morning. They have 11 overnight with about 18 total inches in 24 hours.

This is more of a one-liner directed @ gapers ... But it fits here.

In-line for the second ride of Chair six @ appor. 9:15am, a local hater is looking at the small line of about 20 people, and sez really loud- "Sure A lot of Go-Getters on the mountain today. "

Never had I heard somthing like that said with so much spite.

**Garth Bimble** · 03-26-2009, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by mtskier

today i saw the 3 biggest gaper "accessories" i have ever seen. all on men @ 40 years old.

3. i'm sure this is not new to anyone: bells hanging from jacket. what is that? is it to warn people that a shitty skiing is about slam into your back?

You gotta let the barking bears know your around...they don't like surprises...

**bendtheski** · 03-26-2009, 09:08 PM

It ain't ice if there ain't fish under it!

**skibee** · 03-30-2009, 09:11 AM

Let me set the scene... At Revelstoke... if you go (and you all should) be prepared to be stunned, fall line gladed trees, 40 degrees, powder bowls, warming huts, 2000 people and you are still the only ones in sight ... it is really HUGE and if you get hurt you really do have to take some responsibility for yourself... the crew is good... but it might take some time to find you first!!! Anyway... my pose and I were about too ski a tree line to the south side of the North Bowl ridge line... if you want to ski North Bowl you need to put in some small amount of sweat investment to reach the ridge or do some billy goating through a cliff... very doable but the entry is exposed and at the time the light was kinda flat.

The gapper- thirty something male with female in tow, both wearing Spyder "freeride" gear (not yer racer cloths but something a little less tight, but not much) and most importantly... NO HELMETS!

The Quote " So... whats over there? (points at ridge line with perm closure rope on it) Can't you get to North Bowl without hiking? Can we ski over there?"

Ummm... No... I suggest you stay over there (I point to cut run under the chair) where it's safe for the rest of us!!!

**Lelandjt** · 03-30-2009, 09:52 AM

Waiting in line for the Imperial chair at Breck to open. The entire Imperial bowl is spread out only a couple hundred yards above us in plain view (for those who don't know it's a single, open, uninterupted bowl). Gaper next to me points up and asks, "What are the good runs?"

**AdAstraPerAspera** · 03-30-2009, 10:30 AM

Not a quote, so much as the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Riding the lift last week at WP/MJ, my friend and I observe an gaper in its natural habitat, a groomer. The dude was obviously frusterated trying to click back into his bindings, but seemed to be having a hard time. As we got closer, it became obvious that the dude was trying to click back into his bindings heel first.

Epic fail.

What I want to know is, how did he get into his skis in the first place? He was half way down the run, and still had the other ski on.

We laughed about it for days.

**eblackwelder** · 03-30-2009, 12:08 PM

The Gaper leading the Gaper.
- or -
Oh God. The Gapers are breeding. Nooooo!!!!

The scene: I'm a patroller at a local mtn in MA. Beautiful spring skiing day. It is 65 F out and the mashed potatos are set and ready to twist noob or weak knees. A couple around 20ish walk over to me at the top of the main lift, both carrying a snowboard.

Gaper guy: Hi. I was wondering if you could give my girlfriend a ride down. She can't make it on her own.
Me: What happened?
Gaper guy: I was teaching her how to board and she fell.
Gaper gal: I twisted my knee and it feels wierd.
Me: Where did this happen?
Gaper guy: Over there where the trail splits <pointing to a spot only about 100 feet away>.
Gaper gal: It is my first time boarding. I don't even know what happened, I just fell.
Me: Your first day, or your first run?
Gaper gal: First run.
Gaper guy: Yeah. She wanted to try the bunny hill but I talked her out of it - that's too easy. I've been snowboarding like 3 times already so I figured I could teach her.

**neil.** · 03-30-2009, 02:03 PM

probably the biggest gaper moment for one of my friends but we were hiking badly at the bird last tuesday and it was one of the girls first times riding powder, she is from the east coast. Somehow we lost her and she ended up in alta, she snowboards. She said everyone was looking at her and she couldn't figure out why for the life of her. Someone finally stopped and took a picture, informing her she was in fact snowboarding in alta. If anyone on here has that picture please throw it up, I know she and everyone else would love to see it.

**karpiel** · 03-30-2009, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by neil.

probably the biggest gaper moment for one of my friends but we were hiking badly at the bird last tuesday and it was one of the girls first times riding powder, she is from the east coast. Somehow we lost her and she ended up in alta, she snowboards. She said everyone was looking at her and she couldn't figure out why for the life of her. Someone finally stopped and took a picture, informing her she was in fact snowboarding in alta. If anyone on here has that picture please throw it up, I know she and everyone else would love to see it.

Yea, that would be such a hilarious photo. At first it would be all like "omg a snowboarder" then you would be all like "OMG!! that is alta, I can tell because there is snow and trees in the photo, she shouldn't be there!!!!".

**neil.** · 03-30-2009, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by karpiel

Yea, that would be such a hilarious photo. At first it would be all like "omg a snowboarder" then you would be all like "OMG!! that is alta, I can tell because there is snow and trees in the photo, she shouldn't be there!!!!".

yea sweet story right...anyways, photo is more for her but the story is good, im in class now ill take time to right it after, sorry for wasting your time

after my first failed attempt heres another go. Last tuesday i was up at snowbird, don't know the area well so bare with me but, we did that short boot back up baldy, i think, and traversed all the way across to the ridge line where one sides alta, one sides snowbird. We skied down the ridgeline and stopped right above the trees where we were going to drop back into snowbird. Snowboarder friend, call her Sam, was a little slow but saw us drop in and said she would catch up. Apparently Sam did not see where we went and skied down to Alta. Not knowing what she had done she was puzzled why everyone on the lift was turning and pointing at her, she met this with a great big "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" to which she had no response. Finally Sam made it to a lift where she realized there were no snowboarders. At this point one can only assume there was a face in palm moment. After feeling like a complete jackass for yelling at the people on the lift, she was approached by a skier who asked to take her picture seeing as you don't see snowboarders in Alta that often (o rly?).

**old goat** · 03-30-2009, 04:59 PM

getting on a detachable 6, guy gets his rear snow board strap caught in his companion's ski boot buckle. It's a long ride but he panics and without saying anything starts to thrash around trying to free it, doing his best to fall off the chair (with companion right behind him)--at least I got the bar down--see there is a reason for those things. Eventually a guy on the other side of the friend got them detached--too bad, I was kind of looking forward to watching them get off.

**LittleWoodsie** · 03-30-2009, 11:46 PM

Originally Posted by neil.

probably the biggest gaper moment for one of my friends but we were hiking badly at the bird last tuesday and it was one of the girls first times riding powder, she is from the east coast. Somehow we lost her and she ended up in alta, she snowboards. She said everyone was looking at her and she couldn't figure out why for the life of her. Someone finally stopped and took a picture, informing her she was in fact snowboarding in alta. If anyone on here has that picture please throw it up, I know she and everyone else would love to see it.

Learning you Lita......, Littera........, readin and riting in skool, their doin it rong.

**wicked** · 03-31-2009, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by neil.

... don't know the area well so bare with me but....

Wait, do you want us to get naked with you?

**BoatBound** · 03-31-2009, 06:46 AM

This story was told to me by a worker at the T-head lodge in Steamboat earlier this season, as she was riding up the gondi one morning, a Texan tells her she saw a big ol' Elk today and then asked her at what altitude do the deer turn into elk???

Here's a great picture i took in january, note the rubber chickens hanging off his (I think it was a "he") purple fanny pack; completing the ensemble are boot gloves...(it was in the 20's that day)

**Donkey Punch** · 03-31-2009, 11:03 AM

Last friday at Loveland I heard a guy drop this little nugget from the chair behind me. "Dude this is awesome, I would take this 5" and sun over 25" and cloudy any day." I had to turn around just to see who could say such a thing. And that day was definately over reported for the most part. Shallowest 5.5" ever.

**solstice** · 03-31-2009, 02:11 PM

"If you ski fast enough, you won't need sun screen."

**SARAbearuh303** · 03-31-2009, 02:16 PM

riding the lift with some tourists...the guy goes..."alright hunny, we have about two hours before we have to meet the kids."

the wife goes, "alright, that means we can get about two runs in!"

i tried so hard not to laugh my ass off.

**Drunken_Monkey** · 04-05-2009, 06:29 PM

So I'm at work standing bored out of my skull at the front desk where I work, it's about 9pm and dark out. When a high school girl walks over to her principal in the lobby and spits out the following sentence: "So umm Mr. Principal, we were like out on our balcony looking at the hill right. And umm like there is like car lights driving up and down the hill? Are you allowed too? or what's going on?" I could barely contain myself and walked into the back office to crack up.

**misfit toy** · 04-05-2009, 08:31 PM

Yep yesterday Alta. 1st time out on new hellbents waiting for collins to open. Dumbass cuts line and stands on rocker tails, I waited with restraint, DUMBASS! GOD WHAT A GREAT DATE . DUMBASS!

**carvedog** · 04-06-2009, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by misfit toy

Yep yesterday Alta. 1st time out on new hellbents waiting for collins to open. Dumbass cuts line and stands on rocker tails, I waited with restraint, DUMBASS! GOD WHAT A GREAT DATE . DUMBASS!

I don't understand. You let this guy stand on the tails of you brand new skis?
Without ripping his nut sack off and shoving it down where his head used to be?
Because he was your date?
WTF is really going on here? I am a slowboarder so don't do the Alta thing, is Collins code for an "alternative" lifestyle.

Just trying to clear some shit up here. JONG me - I don't care. But I know I have no restraint for people standing on my shit.