Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**stuckathuntermtn** · 03-11-2009, 01:37 PM

Last friday at Moonlight, just after the big jump, these dudes had like 4 feet of powder cord just hanging behind them!
As I passed them in the lift line, I said "Your shoes are untied." They were neon green and had that old shoe-lace pattern on them.
As I was waiting to load, they jumped on the lift with me. I asked what was the deal, and apparently, one of them spent 45 minutes the previous day looking for a ski. I mentioned that the SAR dogs can find them (kind of a joke, but a troller told me they can find people skis). I also mentioned that you're supposed to role them up inside your pants and very dismissively, he said "that's a good idea."
Of course it's a good idea! I mean these dudes were just skiing around with 4 feet of cord trailing behind them! The whole time on the lift, they were just hanging down there!
I'm sure these guys must have been doing some eXtreme skiing if they felt it was a good idea and safe to just have shit in a parade trailing behind them. I've almost got hung up, just having a hood on the back of my jacket.
EDIT: Sorry, I know I'm gapering myself here, but I just can't get over it. Just hanging behind them! fuck! I was waiting for one of them to snag a tree on the lift.

**TeleHoar** · 03-11-2009, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by eblackwelder

I think I just found my new sig.

TeleHoar: Inquiring minds want/need to know - how did the butter trial work out?!?!?!

Yeah, see this was not me.
I found this post on another forum I frequent, from another guy who is not me. IT is an actual question posted to a forum. I posted it in a thread where we make fun of other peoples gaperish statements. Hence the fact it was in a quote form, notice the part where it says QUOTE=Guy From ANOTHER Forum. in a gaper thread, quoting a gaper who is NOT me.

I would have used vegtable oil or possibly ketchup packets.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 03-11-2009, 01:41 PM

"Spread that butter, with the Force."
Since I once rigged up a non-skicarrying backpack to carry my skis (didn't work well) am I also the McGuiver of skiing?

**grrrr** · 03-11-2009, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by Bullet

Although having experienced the 'joy' of skiing from the top of Alyeska on a pair of wooden, edgeless, 3-pin X-country skis with shorty leather boots, on hard-pack snow, I'd say that that is truly the extreme of the spectrum and I'd love to see someone, anyone do that and look graceful. I surely did not.

I spent an entire season skiing Alyeska on 200cm Karhu XCD with 3-pin bindings and Merill single leather boots. Graceful, I was not.

**grrrr** · 03-11-2009, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

EDIT: Sorry, I know I'm gapering myself here, but I just can't get over it. Just hanging behind them! fuck! I was waiting for one of them to snag a tree on the lift.

Yes, yes you are. Absolutely impossible the way some of us used to use Avi cords that trailed 30 feet behind us. We all died and shit.

**eblackwelder** · 03-12-2009, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by TeleHoar

Yeah, see this was not me.
I found this post on another forum I frequent, from another guy who is not me. IT is an actual question posted to a forum. I posted it in a thread where we make fun of other peoples gaperish statements. Hence the fact it was in a quote form, notice the part where it says QUOTE=Guy From ANOTHER Forum. in a gaper thread, quoting a gaper who is NOT me.

Yeah, I understood that when I first read it. I'm not that stupid, although my wife would disagree.

It is you that misunderstood me.

I will clarify my request: Hey TeleHoar, could you go back to that thread and see if he had a later post telling how the butter-wax worked? Thanks. Youdaman.

**TeleHoar** · 03-12-2009, 07:11 AM

Originally Posted by eblackwelder

Yeah, I understood that when I first read it. I'm not that stupid, although my wife would disagree.

It is you that misunderstood me.

I will clarify my request: Hey TeleHoar, could you go back to that thread and see if he had a later post telling how the butter-wax worked? Thanks. Youdaman.

Sorry.
He went on to state that putting butter on his bases is what the racer's do.

**jetski** · 03-12-2009, 08:44 AM

I said this a few pages back but this thread is lame...

If everyone was as cool and rad as you guys you wouldn't be nearly as cool/rad.

I guess I don't really care to make fun of people cause I live in a very touristy place that gets frequented by 2x a year snowbladers in jeans. I could fill 6 pages of gaper quotes and stories but I don't really care cause I'm skiing up and away from them.
I am lucky enough that I have skied since I was way young and had parents who believed that the mountains will bring peace to those who take the time to enjoy them... wearing two pairs of jeans doesn't make someones experiance any less valid than mine.
I have not travelled very much but I have been that guy taking pictures of monkeys and looking lost with an upside down map. Guess what? Some nice locals pointed me in the right direction and took my picture for me. I highly doubt they went online and pointed out my pale skin and complete ocean jongness.

I don't mind stopping on the way to where I'm skiing to show someone to press the heel peice down before stepping in. Or pointing out which way is up when someone is obviously confussed by a ski hill layout. Maybe my being nice will make a positive change in someones life and maybe they will to continue to bring their kids to my resort town. I just don't care enough to waste my ski time by taking some random skiers picture and posting it here to make myself feel oh so gnarly.
Remember..
If everyone was as rad as us we would not be nearly as rad.

*****disclaimer**** My living is based on tourists so maybe I'm slightly biased but really this thread is poop.

Flame away jerks! (insert funny middle finger devil horn smiley)

**JohnF** · 03-12-2009, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by jetski

... wearing two pairs of jeans ...

Classic. Ha ha ha. That is funny.

**MMP** · 03-12-2009, 08:52 AM

^nice blog. I must have missed the post where someone asked what u thought. maybe you should work on resisting the need to click the link for this thread? or start a thread about the peacefulness that helping others in the mountains brings you, you monkey picture taking, upside down trailmap reading self important windbag. and since you requested this, here you go--

**MMP** · 03-12-2009, 08:59 AM

so this guy goes on a website where a thread is dedicated to funny things overheard on the mountain. he feels sad for the people being made fun of, because maybe he thinks if they stumbled across the thread and recognized themselves they would be sad too. He was taught that the mountains are peaceful and there is no place for pointing out the absurdities in life, especially ifthey come at the expense of anothe member of the human race, of which he is an expemplary member in excellent standing. Then he post that he thinks the thread is lame. then returns again and re-posts how lame the thread is. hopefully now he will get the attention he seeks for being so intensely morally superior to the posters in this thread.

**eblackwelder** · 03-12-2009, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by jetski

I said this a few pages back but this thread is lame...

Sounds like someone's finger poked through the toilet paper this morning.

It's called humor dood. If you don't like it, don't read it. Better yet, stick to EpicSki.

Must.....not.....feed......the......trolls.....
Don't.....hit......the.......submit..reply.....but ton....
Aaaargh, I can't help it, sorry.

**toast2266** · 03-12-2009, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by jetski

I don't really care cause I'm skiing up

You're doing it wrong.

**mtsprings** · 03-12-2009, 09:35 AM

Originally Posted by jetski

If everyone was as cool and rad as you guys you wouldn't be nearly as cool/rad.

The burden that you carry, of being so superior to everyone, must be heavy and tiresome.

You should PM cliffhuckable, he is convinced that he is carrying the same load as you.

In the mean time please post naked pics of girlfriend or significant other so the rest of us lesser beings can laugh, giggle and go on attempting to make ourselves feel better at the expense of others.

Or you could just STFU

**Jim S** · 03-12-2009, 09:43 AM

True stories with in the past week:

Girl trying to click into twin tip skis inside the Gold Coast building at top of Funitel. Not outside on snow but inside on the concrete floor. "They just won't go in..(fumble)....(gasp)....what's wrong?" Girl is putting ski boot toe into the binding heel. Her s/o: "I think you're putting them on backwards"
I'm at the top of billygoat line-cliff line with three other skiers with a film crew on Granite Chief. A guy skis up to the top of line, clearly he is an intermediate skier: "Is it good? What's over to the right? Is it OK if I go?"

Best skier in our group: "To the right is a mandatory 20 foot air; to the left is a tight billy goat line. But we're filming. Can you wait 2 minutes for the two skiers in front of you to go?"

Turd:"Oh I don't want air." Drops in between the two skiers at the top and goes to the right to the cliff, of course. Peers over the edge and takes 15 minutes to side step back up to the billygoat line where he gets gripped for another 10 minutes.

**jetski** · 03-12-2009, 09:44 AM

you guys are so mean! I can't go to epic cause I like getting e hate tossed on me. If I posted my blog over there they would want some sort of hug summit. I prefer it here where people are not afraid to unleash the fury. I can take it...more please!

I guess I see so much of it where I live I stop paying attention. Maybe I will get into it and prove to you my local mountain has the highest per capita snowblade riders on Saturdays.

**OSECS** · 03-12-2009, 09:48 AM

Dude shut the fuck up and let this thread alone if you don't have funny shit to post !!!! I'm trying to learn all the right shit not to say and do on the slopes !!

You don't like it ?? Don't read it !!

**MMP** · 03-12-2009, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by Jim S

True stories with in the past week:

Girl trying to click into twin tip skis inside the Gold Coast building at top of Funitel. Not outside on snow but inside on the concrete floor. "They just won't go in..(fumble)....(gasp)....what's wrong?" Girl is putting ski boot toe into the binding heel. Her s/o: "I think you're putting them on backwards"
I'm at the top of billygoat line-cliff line with three other skiers with a film crew on Granite Chief. A guy skis up to the top of line, clearly he is an intermediate skier: "Is it good? What's over to the right? Is it OK if I go?"

Best skier in our group: "To the right is a mandatory 20 foot air; to the left is a tight billy goat line. But we're filming. Can you wait 2 minutes for the two skiers in front of you to go?"

Turd:"Oh I don't want air." Drops in between the two skiers at the top and goes to the right to the cliff, of course. Peers over the edge and takes 15 minutes to side step back up to the billygoat line where he gets gripped for another 10 minutes.

jim jim jim

why didnt you lower a rope and help your so called "gaper" back up? you're a meany, and I'm pretty sure Jetski is condemning you right now.

**AbsolutStoli** · 03-12-2009, 08:46 PM

Originally Posted by toast2266

You're doing it wrong.

HAHAHA! that reminded me of another one. also at vail this past sunday. im riding some lift, and a chick on the run under me yells to her partner "am i going the right way?" there was only one way to go. my buddy and i look at each other and simultaneously go, "down?" heh

**abe froman** · 03-15-2009, 01:54 AM

Whilst riding the KT-22 @ Squaw......with "locals"(from the bay area)!!!

The Bay Jong Douche Nozzle...."Hey are those the new garmont approved resort at boots?"

East coast ahole(aka me): Ummm what?

Bay Jong Douche: "are they stiff...the boots"

ME: "Yeh. I like 'em"

**joshring27** · 03-16-2009, 02:33 PM

Best quote possibly ever:

"Careful that snow is slippy"

**Ole703** · 03-16-2009, 02:39 PM

So at our local bump in the side of hill in MN. Here...this past weekend we had spring slush. So I ski in the morning and sit at the bar at noon or so. This guy who was from Iowa was chatting with his daughter and she was about 12 and he said..... "Just go straight it will put less wear on your skis". I couldn't help but laugh out loud and we where sitting one table over.

**bptempleton** · 03-16-2009, 04:40 PM

At crystal yesterday, at about 9:30 in the morning, after 14" of fresh overnight, a guy on 190 gots told me "There's no reason to go off the trail today" It was confusing to say the least.