Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[karma]

Overhead a group talking about the Squaw headwall avy... Gaper 1 is a local, seen him around a bit...

Gaper1: "I've been caught in a couple slides here before"
Gaper2: Really???
Gaper1: "yeah, that's why i finally bought a cell phone"
Gaper2: "why a cellphone?"
Gaper1: "so i can call someone if I get caught skiing alone"

I shit you not!!!
Sure hope he hasn't had children... Cause Darwin should find this guy soon...

[OSECS]

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.Quote:
Originally Posted by NickAA


No seriously, don't just watch the first couple seconds, tough it out and watch the whole thing. It's like "The Office" meets Alpental. Effing Hilarious.

Oh, and a pic:
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Something tells me Warren Miller didn't start off like this

[eblackwelder]

Posted here:
http://skinc.com/messageboard/showthread.php?t=9511

You guys can rant and rave and debate over whether this was gaperism or a simple question or whatever. Who cares. It's a funny thread regardless.

I think I just found my new sig from the last post:
"if i didnt go to nc, id be headin out hog huntin."

[kttate75]

Not really a gaper quote. I know guys who ski pretty much everything on the mountain and back country on high end GS race carvers. But they are super strong, super fit and have been on skis since they where 3, and skiing as a job since 18. So I am more than happy to bow to their superior skiing ability and click into something fatter and softer when I hit the pow. They still kick my arse.

There's a slight difference between GS skis and nordic skis.

[badbluto]

http://www.youtube.com/wat­ch?v=fA7Q...c­hannel_page

No seriously, don't just watch the first couple seconds, tough it out and watch the whole thing. It's like "The Office" meets Alpental. Effing Hilarious.

Oh, and a pic:

"It stings!!! A welcome pain though" He did not really just say that. You have got to be milking me, this is classic.

[adam]

Not really a gaper quote. I know guys who ski pretty much everything on the mountain and back country on high end GS race carvers. But they are super strong, super fit and have been on skis since they where 3, and skiing as a job since 18. So I am more than happy to bow to their superior skiing ability and click into something fatter and softer when I hit the pow. They still kick my arse.

Me thinks there might be a tiny difference between GS skis and XC skis. Maybe.

[nateski]

was sitting around bullshitting with a gaper one fine evening a few years ago. somehow we started talking about the tram light on top of the mountain. this person was convinced, and was trying to convince me, that it wasn't the tram station light up there, but rather the general glow from a whole community of condos, on top of the mountain! "yeah, i hear they got a whole buncha condos up there. a pool, hot tub and everything. might try and get me a place up there." i just bit my tongue. hard.

[AbsolutStoli]

my friends and i were lapping pete's bowl for a bit at vail on sunday, waiting for the others by the lift when this portly middle-aged woman rolls by and without so much as an excuse me goes to us "will this lift take me to where i just skied?" as if we were up her ass while she was making her way down.

[stihletto]

this thread sucks.

[Pancakes]

Oh man, so like I was skiing Sixth Grade at Bridger Bowl for the first time on Saturday I had only taken one fall on the upper part because it was my first run of the day and this total JONG comes up to me before I drop in and says "Are you sure you can handle this? It's a pretty nasty couloir."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!? I totally flipped him off and skied it really good. I could hardly turn and I side slipped the whole thing making only 3 turns. It was AMAZING. All the Gapers down below rightfully looked at me like i was a god.

[SkaFreak]

I saw Fritschi Freerides on snow blades a few weeks ago.

I know a guy who does a good amount of touring on 130 and 120cm boards. They're made by a company that considers them to be "longboard skiboards". Basically short wide boards with a tight turning radius. Probably was him, he lives out that way.

[OverTurn]

heard a bunch of racers at Jay this weekend talking very seriously about all the powder all over the trails that was getting in the way. It was 50F.

[eblackwelder]

Oh man, so like I was skiing Sixth Grade at Bridger Bowl for the umpteenth time on Saturday. This gaper falls on the upper part , then gets ready to head down a pretty nasty couloir. I asked him if he could handle it. He flips me the bird then drops in. He was obviously out of control, sideslipping, and was barely able to make about 3 turns. It was amazingly scary. Everyone down below watched with their jaws dropped because they couldn't believe he made it down alive.

[LittleWoodsie]

^^^^ Gold! Pure gold!

[carvedog]

I asked him if he could handle it. He flips me the bird then drops in. He was obviously out of control, sideslipping, and was barely able to make about 3 turns......

Well if you are going to gape you might as well have a little style. Did he look like Johnny Cash and really mean it? Or was it one of those poser-gangster-wannabe sideways bullshit fingers?

Inquiring minds want to.....

[saukit]

Had a nice day last week, bluebird with a foot of fresh or so. Sittin' on the chairlift, and someone below says: "I'm going to go down and have these skis waxed because I can't turn them".

[eblackwelder]

Well if you are going to gape you might as well have a little style. Did he look like Johnny Cash and really mean it? Or was it one of those poser-gangster-wannabe sideways bullshit fingers?

Inquiring minds want to.....

Well, actually, I just assume he gave me the finger. He simply showed me the back of his mitten. So either he was giving me the bird, or showing me the logo on his really cool mittens.

[Singel]

Oh man, so like I was skiing Sixth Grade at Bridger Bowl for the first time on Saturday I had only taken one fall on the upper part because it was my first run of the day and this total JONG comes up to me before I drop in and says "Are you sure you can handle this? It's a pretty nasty couloir."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!? I totally flipped him off and skied it really good. I could hardly turn and I side slipped the whole thing making only 3 turns. It was AMAZING. All the Gapers down below rightfully looked at me like i was a god.

Speak Engrish please.

If you are trying to be funny through sarcasm, you have failed miserably.

If you are being serious...

[Bullet]

So I was reading this thread on MTBR tonight. It was a thread about all-mountain skis and all-mountain bikes, lifestyle/etc:
http://forums.mtbr.com/showthread.ph...36703#poststop
Go to post #25 to follow into this genius' comment- or just read the pasted quote below:
Quote:
Originally Posted by tduro (on MTBR)
A good skier can adapt to their technique to cover nearly any ski and any conditions. In fact, that's what it means to be a good skier, in my book. All this specificity (AKA all-mountain skis) is just a way to excuse lack of technique. The only exceptions are at the very extreme ends of either ski designs or conditions. Even then, you'll find some folks skiing anything and everything on skinny, edgeless XC skis. If they can do that, I can ignore what skis I have and just ski.

hmmmm, Are you the gaper? The comment you quoted is pretty true. Have you seen some of the old films from the 40's and 50's? Those guys were launching huge with cable bindings and 10' skis.

Although having experienced the 'joy' of skiing from the top of Alyeska on a pair of wooden, edgeless, 3-pin X-country skis with shorty leather boots, on hard-pack snow, I'd say that that is truly the extreme of the spectrum and I'd love to see someone, anyone do that and look graceful. I surely did not.

[Carboxylic]

First day of the semester, my new roommate walks into the room, sees my skins drying over the heater, and says "woah, are those your backcountry skis?"

[Pancakes]

this thread sucks.

I saw the post before mine, so I went trolling. I either proved him right or wrong. There is no middle ground.

[TeleHoar]

Posted to another forum.
Particularly appropriate to post after a guy named PANCAKES

Hey guys, tonight i was working on our hills ski patrol, and realized that i havent waxed my skis in so long, and that they were way too sticky on the fresh powdery snow.

sooooo... with a lack of wax and an iron, i came up with an idea:

what if i melt butter onto my bases then set my skis outside to freeze it?

thus i went over to our chalet kitchen, asked for some of these (not the same, but you get the idea), and i proceeded to rub it onto my bases.

i tried to rub in as much as possible, then i heated up a steak knife in the pizza oven to use as a heating device. (hey, i'm pulling out all the stops here).


after i get it hot, i melted some of the butter on my bases and spread it around better, rubbed it in for a few minutes. Then i just stuck the knife to a packet of butter and dripped it on and rubbed it into my p-tex.

After i got my skis covered in enough butter, i set them outside to let it freeze.

I never got the chance to try it out due to a patient who consumed my entire night, but i think its going to work really well, but i never got the chance....


I consider myself the McGiver of skiing right now.

same with washing my bandana in the patrol's kitchen sink with dish soap, and then ironing it on a toasting hot pizza oven. (btw it worked awesome).



so, until i go skiing next (thursday or friday probably), what do you think the butter will work like? I think it will give the effect of cooking spray (which i know is sometimes used by racers for quick runs), but only a lot longer because i'm sure i rubbed it into the p-tex.

ideas maybe?


oh heres what i'm tlaking about for butter (not same brand or flavor, but same size, its the restaurant size thingys):

[Airpoppoff]

fuckbucket is my new word

[Pancakes]

Posted to another forum.
Particularly appropriate to post after a guy named PANCAKES

BWAAhahahahaaa!!! I know that there is no lack of entertainment to be had here. Whoever started this thread is a genius!

[eblackwelder]

I consider myself the McGiver of skiing right now.

I think I just found my new sig.

TeleHoar: Inquiring minds want/need to know - how did the butter trial work out?!?!?!