Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**TyWebb** · 03-04-2008, 04:15 PM

Was riding the lift this morning and I guy asked me how I was liking my K2 Pontoons - I kinda just pulled a stoopid face and looked at him for a while. I realized he was referring to my 04' 87mm Karmas with the custom woodgrain topsheet. There was a pretty long silence as I thought about what to say....I finally settled on "they're great - thanks"

**sfotex** · 03-10-2008, 09:31 AM

I was taking an avy class this weekend and we met Sunday morning at the bottom of the gondola at The Canyons. While we were waiting for everyone to show up we started to look at the surface hoar that was forming on the fresh snow, and one of the instructors took out a thermometer to show there the snow was colder then the air temp. So there's a couple of people huddled around the thermometer and the instructor is talking about long wave cooling, yadda yadda and some dude in a fart bag sticks is head in and goes. "Hey what are you guys doing, oh your measuring the snow temperature so you know what kind of wax to use. Hey Bill, check this out, these guys are trying to figure out what kind of wax to use." He then turns to the guy holding the thermometer, Tom Kimbrough, and says "Oh man, I didn't get my skis waxed last night" and Tom goes "Well then, your not going to be able to keep up with us"

**KillWW** · 03-10-2008, 09:55 AM

Was riding Chair 4 at Telluride this weekend with a Gaper in a Red Sox jersey, backwards hat and shades. He said he'd hiked Bald Mt. 3 times. I asked him if he was by himself and he said, "Yeah, no one likes to ski with me because I always like to go extreme skiing." Also, last Saturday was cat skiing with San Juan Ski Company. Had another Boston gaper in the group. Horrible skier, completely out of control. He crossed the guide's left track on every run, and continuously traveresed open powder fields that we could have skied on subsequent runs. On several occasions he skied below the guide and kept being threatened by the guide to be removed from the group (I wish he had been). Best quote of the day by him: "Are we going to have to stay in a group all day, or will we get to go off on our own?" Yeah.....head that way dude, the cat will find YOU.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 03-10-2008, 10:15 AM

this was at moonlight a couple weeks ago. Some dudes from Cali were on the lift with me. Montana (at least MLB) doesn't seem to be too bad with gapers at all. Lot of MN, ND, SD, but I've heard a few southern/texan accents. The guy from Bismark didn't even put the bar down (the other day). The snowboarder of the group gave me the "boy those are fat." to which I just replied "it's par for the course out here, where are you from?"
They didn't really piss me off at all, they were nice, and didn't put the bar down. They were on what I refer to as old man fat skis. Ac4's, Legend 8000, etc.
Then the killer: "$51 dollars for a lift ticket, that the best deal I've seen in years."
I then named 2 ways to get cheaper lift tickets to moonlight, and mentioned how cheap bridger is.
It must be nice to have money.
This mountain host or ski instructor or something was with this guy and explaining the mountain to him (he was a newb). I think I may have jumped in a few times at the mention of sharp rocks on lone mountain (because it's almost comical how fucked up it is).
Then he starts in with a joke: "Why are skiing and golf such great sports?"
to which I reply "Golf is an awful horrible sport, but I'll play your game."

**2nd mate** · 03-10-2008, 10:15 AM

Sounds as if you are taking out your Yankee's frustrations out on Boston a bit. gapers are everywhere, including NYC.
Did have a similar experience with with Powder Mt cat-skiing at whistler a couple weeks ago with some freaks so i know how annoying it can get when the group waits for the guides to locate some idiot who skis off on his own.

probably was a johnny damon Jersey?

**stuckathuntermtn** · 03-10-2008, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by TyWebb

How does that nail-gun work for ski mounts?

**KillWW** · 03-10-2008, 10:25 AM

Not a Damon jersey. Nothing on the back. And I don't have to take frustration out on Boston after the Pats were successful in deflating some of that Bostonite douchebaggery. I was merely painting a vivid picture of each situation. I know all about NYC gaperdom.....skied at Mountain Creek NJ on weekends in college!

**MFJ&S** · 03-10-2008, 10:41 AM

A few years back while working at PURG I left the shop and ran across a texan in a one ton ford dually 2wd trying to make it up the steep drive with a foot of fresh. he had the gas pinned and kept digging in deeper. i offered to get my rig to tow him out. he accepted while saying "hope you got a dually" i came around with my Tacoma and got the strap out of the bed. the texan just laughed and told me there was no way i could help. I insisted he let me give it a shot, i hooked him up put 'er in 4 low and dragged him out. I got my strap back with a shit eating grin and left. I laughed my ass off all the way home.

later that season, spring break, my buddy Chris was chipping ice off the steps when a touron with spurs and ten gallon hat, the whole get up, tapped Chris on the shoulder and said "Where I come from you'd be a different color." wtf? It took all of Chris' will power not to plant that pick in the ignorant assholes foot.

**snowmonster** · 03-10-2008, 12:05 PM

Not a quote really but I was out skiing this weekend with some friends. A lot of them are getting into the sport and I try to encourage them as much as possible -- except this one douchebag who, in his mind, is a super-athlete (e.g., he loves to use the word "hardcore" for anything he does) but is really totally uncoordinated. As a skier, he hits every gaper stereotype and gives newbies a bad name. Anyway, he loves to talk a big game and the night before the big trip was talking to one of the girls who was taking a lesson:

Cute Girl: I'm taking a ski lesson tomorrow.
Ugly Douche: That's great. So, you'll be skiing the greens. (PAUSE) Oh, I can't ski with you then. I ONLY SKI BLACK DIAMONDS.

The next day, he can't even get off the chairlift, skis down the greens in the biggest snowplow possible and quits after 3 runs because "he can't turn in this snow." Of course, the other newbie kids in the group are getting down the mountain with no sweat. One of the newbie girls actually gives him a trail map and points to the Beginner Area and says: "I think you should practice your turns here."

**Parvo** · 03-10-2008, 12:11 PM

not so much a quote as it is a noise. the noise some gapers make when they click their poles behind them when approaching dh skiers/boarder... as in "i'm passing you in my semi-tuck".

is this a generally accepted rule of passing? cuz i never saw or heard it before moving to park city. and i've never seen someone do it who could actually ski worth a shit

**khakis** · 03-10-2008, 12:13 PM

A whole season at Purg with only 2 bad Texan stories (and one of them was probably from Arkansas)? Not bad.

**Buster Highmen** · 03-10-2008, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

not so much a quote as it is a noise. the noise some gapers make when they click their poles behind them when approaching dh skiers/boarder... as in "i'm passing you in my semi-tuck".

is this a generally accepted rule of passing? cuz i never saw or heard it before moving to park city. and i've never seen someone do it who could actually ski worth a shit

I do this. And everyone knows I suck.

**2nd mate** · 03-10-2008, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by KillWW

Not a Damon jersey. Nothing on the back. And I don't have to take frustration out on Boston after the Pats were successful in deflating some of that Bostonite douchebaggery. I was merely painting a vivid picture of each situation. I know all about NYC gaperdom.....skied at Mountain Creek NJ on weekends in college!

check this out
:http://http://townienews.com/
he did two shows in hoboken you can catch on YOUTUBE too. sums up the pats fans grief which i am over thanks to Fitzy. scroll down to the Sb we blew webcast.

**Microcosm** · 03-10-2008, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by MFJ&S

A few years back while working at PURG I left the shop and ran across a texan in a one ton ford dually 2wd trying to make it up the steep drive with a foot of fresh. he had the gas pinned and kept digging in deeper. i offered to get my rig to tow him out. he accepted while saying "hope you got a dually" i came around with my Tacoma and got the strap out of the bed. the texan just laughed and told me there was no way i could help. I insisted he let me give it a shot, i hooked him up put 'er in 4 low and dragged him out. I got my strap back with a shit eating grin and left. I laughed my ass off all the way home.

later that season, spring break, my buddy Chris was chipping ice off the steps when a touron with spurs and ten gallon hat, the whole get up, tapped Chris on the shoulder and said "Where I come from you'd be a different color." wtf? It took all of Chris' will power not to plant that pick in the ignorant assholes foot.

oh shit. I would have blown up on that guy, but I guess sometimes assholes like that aren't worth the time. how could someone be so ignorant?

**Parvo** · 03-10-2008, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by Buster Highmen

I do this. And everyone knows I suck.

i think you passed me clicking your poles this sunday -- were you wearing a puffy red fagbag and billy kidd's cowboy hat?

**Chugachjed** · 03-10-2008, 01:58 PM

100 inches of fresh in less than a week, Alyeska. "This is almost as good as North Carolina." "Wow, North Carolina must be pretty fucking sweet, where do you ski there." "Beech Mountain, its awesome." pretty much no more conversation. I just looked up Beech Mountain online and I found out that they average 80" of snow a year and they have a whopping 1000 vertical feet.

**Garrett** · 03-10-2008, 04:42 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

is this a generally accepted rule of passing? cuz i never saw or heard it before moving to park city. and i've never seen someone do it who could actually ski worth a shit

I use my words. Most often when I'm passing someone who has decided the 20 foot wide cat track is an excellent place to perfect their stem christie.

**oftpiste** · 03-10-2008, 05:50 PM

My youngest - 7 years old - son is a rippin' skier for his age and is in a race program. Racers are required to have helmets that have hard over-ear coverage which his does. Couple of guys old enough to know better who were outfitted pretty much like TGR types (this is the reason I was surprise by their comments) ski up behind us in the line and say to him, "Wow! Old school helmet! You even have bent poles too."

C'mon guys. If you want to give someone shit about their steeze, at least pick on someone your own size.

**Garrett** · 03-10-2008, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

C'mon guys. If you want to give someone shit about their steeze, at least pick on someone your own size.

You bought soypoles for your 7 year old? I feel bad that your kid has such a gaper parent.

Pretty awesome that this guy needs no soypoles, but your steeze-rockin' first-grader does.

Also this chick.And this guy.And more.

I'm sure the guys were douchebags, especially with the dumbfuck helmet comment. Sorry, soypoles are just a pet peeve of mine. Softer, heavier, soyer.

**HotCarl** · 03-10-2008, 06:20 PM

This thread consistently delivers. Gold.

**Quinn the Eskimo** · 03-10-2008, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by HotCarl

This thread consistently delivers. Gold.

**Nuthon** · 03-10-2008, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by Gnu

Now any halfpipe will be forever be the "stunt ditch".

I personally prefer the U-ditch of Death

**samthaman** · 03-10-2008, 07:25 PM

today on the gondi at stowe:

(referencing my BD flicklocks)

do those poles collapse for storage?

**oftpiste** · 03-10-2008, 07:59 PM

Originally Posted by Garrett

You bought soypoles for your 7 year old? I feel bad that your kid has such a gaper parent.

Pretty awesome that this guy needs no soypoles, but your steeze-rockin' first-grader does.

Also this chick.And this guy.And more.

I'm sure the guys were douchebags, especially with the dumbfuck helmet comment. Sorry, soypoles are just a pet peeve of mine. Softer, heavier, soyer.

Well, first off, yeah, I'm a gaper.

Second, fuck you for picking on my kid too.

Third, having three kids skiing I pick up cheap or free gear whenever I can and they use it when it fits them.

Fourth, like I said before, pick on someone your own size. You wanna give me shit about it that's fine, but don't be name calling on little kids. Maybe you were the self-proclaimed douchebag in the line.

Fifth, they're fucking ski poles. Who the hell cares what they look like?

Did I mention fuck you yet?

**MotoBeak** · 03-10-2008, 08:04 PM

Riding the lift watching the freeride comp at Taos, the guy tells his girlfriend "Wow, those guys are nuts. They must have their bindings set all the way to 10!"