Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Punkmouse** · 02-21-2008, 04:47 PM

so where do they put all those bumps at the end of the season....

**iscariot** · 02-21-2008, 05:27 PM

I <3 Carve.

http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=111020

**highflyingpilot** · 02-21-2008, 05:36 PM

From a snowboarder friend when I was talking about Dukes:

Me: Man...I would kill for those bindings...they go for like $430 bucks new
Her: Is that for one of both???

**Gnu** · 02-21-2008, 05:40 PM

Somewhere in Michigan last weekend...

**T-Boz** · 02-21-2008, 09:01 PM

"I guess you have to take your skis of for this one." Says a gaper as she skis up to the FUnitel at Squaw.

**jibbinfool** · 02-22-2008, 12:21 AM

I was riding up the lift with a buddy of mine, and two other dudes who said they hadn't skied in at least 5-6 years (injury i think). i was finished explaining my fall from the last run when one of the guys leans over and says "What was that trick you were talking about? Double... something... yeah, double-ejecting?"

**oftpiste** · 02-22-2008, 09:37 AM

Heading into a nearly deserted liftline in Utah 2 days ago with the kids. Guy right in front of me suddenly turns his skis completely sideways blocking the entire line while he apparently waits for his tribe. Unable to stop as we were ready to load, I ski across his tails and say, "please don't stop in the middle if the line" (anyone else haver a pet peeve with this shit?). Gaper quote? "Yeah? Well YOU need to look where you're going!"

Dumbass.

**oftpiste** · 02-22-2008, 09:42 AM

Heading into a nearly deserted liftline in Utah 2 days ago with the kids. Guy right in front of me suddenly turns his skis completely sideways blocking the entire line while he apparently waits for his tribe. Unable to stop as we were ready to load, I ski across his tails (I figured this was preferable to running onto him) and say, "please don't stop in the middle if the line" (anyone else have a pet peeve with this shit?). Gaper quote? "Yeah? Well YOU need to look where you're going!"

Dumbass.

**jonesy** · 02-22-2008, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

Heading into a nearly deserted liftline in Utah 2 days ago with the kids. Guy right in front of me suddenly turns his skis completely sideways blocking the entire line while he apparently waits for his tribe. Unable to stop as we were ready to load, I ski across his tails (I figured this was preferable to running onto him) and say, "please don't stop in the middle if the line" (anyone else haver a pet peeve with this shit?). Gaper quote? "Yeah? Well YOU need to look where you're going!"

Dumbass.

Instructors will collect their kids up in front of the entry-way to the lifts,cluster-fuck alert. Ya can't fix stupid.

**KillingCokes** · 02-22-2008, 11:05 AM

After this guy tells me to watch where I'm going, my response would have been.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKING GAPER

Originally Posted by oftpiste

Heading into a nearly deserted liftline in Utah 2 days ago with the kids. Guy right in front of me suddenly turns his skis completely sideways blocking the entire line while he apparently waits for his tribe. Unable to stop as we were ready to load, I ski across his tails (I figured this was preferable to running onto him) and say, "please don't stop in the middle if the line" (anyone else haver a pet peeve with this shit?). Gaper quote? "Yeah? Well YOU need to look where you're going!"

Dumbass.

**2nd mate** · 02-23-2008, 03:52 PM

Riding up in the Cat with my buddy, with Powder Mountain cat Skiing In Whistler. I managed to convince him to drop some coin knowing how shitty the conditions were on the mountain. His big concern was getting some very slow skiers in our group the would effect # of runs as well as the terrain the guides felt comfortable taking us to.
Guide- " so were are you folks from?"
Gaper- " L.A. We're season pass holders at Mammoth."
gaper Wife to guide " so how do they decide what people go in what cat group?"

My buddy gives me the I told you so stare. On the first run the gaper wife clad in black and white alligator print pants takes a solid 5 minutes to cover 500 feet. The Gaper husband completely skis past the Guide and all the way down to the cat without stopping. still with all this stuff going on it was my best day at W/B. Just real fucking cool cat-skiing for the first time.

**nogophers** · 02-23-2008, 06:48 PM

I was skiing today with my daughter in my once-a-year ski day in the Midwest. All 260 vertical feet and 80 skiable acres. A guy on our lift asks if "this lift goes all the way to the top?". We rode it [I]all[I] the way up (then straighlined it down in about 15 seconds).

**Quinn the Eskimo** · 02-23-2008, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by oftpiste

Heading into a nearly deserted liftline in Utah 2 days ago with the kids. Guy right in front of me suddenly turns his skis completely sideways blocking the entire line while he apparently waits for his tribe. Unable to stop as we were ready to load, I ski across his tails (I figured this was preferable to running onto him) and say, "please don't stop in the middle if the line" (anyone else haver a pet peeve with this shit?). Gaper quote? "Yeah? Well YOU need to look where you're going!"

Dumbass.

happened to me at blackcomb a few weeks ago. some jackass pulled that move in the singles line. i narrowly missed barreling over him but still bumped him a little. his response had me cracking up all day. in a thick french accent: "hey! learn how to ski!"

**oftpiste** · 02-23-2008, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by KillingCokes

After this guy tells me to watch where I'm going, my response would have been.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKING GAPER

I said, "No, you're standing in the middle of the liftline" and he kept on about how I needed to look where I was going, but I was with my kids. They get embarrassed when I give people shit even thought they were rolling their eyes at him too.

After a recent event in a lodge where I really tore into someone who gave me some crap I decided I needed to practice my chill.

**montanaskier** · 02-23-2008, 07:36 PM

dude and his girlfriend from DC riding the lift with us today at Vail. They were trying to take a picture of themselves while on the lift and the guy says:

" I wish it wasn't cloudy and snowing"

**JohnF** · 02-23-2008, 10:04 PM

Woman in lift line at snow ridge today...

She is looking at the chairs but not moving into position. She asks the lifty, "Is there a better chair coming?"

**Laxsnowskisquatch** · 02-23-2008, 10:27 PM

Saw some gaper 20 yr olds using airsoft guns in the liftline. Is the human gene pool really this shallow?

**TS Quint** · 02-23-2008, 10:34 PM

40ish guy: "I was sitting up at the lodge watching all the people go down that steep run (blue groomer) and man, were they screaming down the hill. I just can't believe how people scream down the hill that fast...[wait for it] ...so, are you a screamer too?"

I nearly pissed myself.

**Lev** · 02-23-2008, 11:32 PM

My gf's friend is in town with his crew. She was chatting with him on the phone. She calls to see how things are. He mentions that he hasn't been up the past few days. Confused, my gf asks why. His reply is: "People ski when it's actually snowing?"

**Vitamin I** · 02-24-2008, 02:27 AM

Today, I was single on Whistler Peak Chair with 3 random women. Then I realize one of the women has been silent the whole time and is gripped in fear. Whenever our chair passes over a rock, she gets visibly more gripped. OK, she's afraid of heights---a bit out of place, but cool that she's pushing herself. Next, her friend sees my MadTrix Mojo skis and makes a BIG mistake by blurting out, "Look at the cobra on those skis" (it's more like a rattlesnake, but that doesn't matter). So the gripped woman looks at the snake graphic and becomes completely petrified to a new level. Her 2 friends have to talk her through the rest of the chair ride and she unloads without incident. It's all good, she never impeded or annoyed anyone---I just hope she never has to endure the Hellbent graphics.

More noteworthy to me is when non-gapers pull weird or gaperish moves. Like when a non-gaper-looking snowboarder pulled out his fingernail clippers on the gondola and went at it. Not so bad, but seems weird if this guy keeps clippers in his parka pocket every day on the hill, just in case he needs an immediate manicure...

Or when I recently paired up with a non-gaper-looking skier in line for a double T-Bar, mid-day, no powder, no rush. We're waiting in line and moving forward together as a pair for at least 30 seconds, then his non-gaper-looking skier buddy arrives solo directly behind us. Looks like my partner will be leaving me to join his buddy, no worries, I'll just go solo---snowboarders commonly go up solo anyway, because T-Bars are a bit awkward, so no one should complain if I end up without a partner, hogging a whole T-Bar to myself. But instead of my ex-partner moving back one spot to join his buddy, and instead of them asking me for my spot in line, his buddy unexpectedly shoves me to take my spot, but he fails to budge me because there are fences and no place for me to be pushed to---no worries, tolerating shoves is part of skiing, I am enjoying the scenery. As we all move forward, now there is enough space for them to push me out, and they try to shove me again and move up into my spot, but this time I intentionally resist their shoving to hold my place in line, and they fail again---doesn't bother me, it's a nice sunny day. So I'm enjoying the scenery with a smile, while these guys continue with their somewhat aggressive shoving, and they're still too passive to address me even once, and then I hear them begin to accept their failure and complain to each other about how "passive-aggressive" I am being. OK, now I am finally bothered---by their hypocrisy. So I stare them right in the eyes to see if they want to address me or try something less passive-agressive, but they chose to remain passive. Good call.

.

**flyby** · 02-24-2008, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by Vitamin I

More noteworthy to me is when non-gapers pull weird or gaperish moves. Like when a non-gaper-looking snowboarder pulled out his fingernail clippers on the gondola and went at it. Not so bad, but seems weird if this guy keeps clippers in his parka pocket every day on the hill, just in case he needs an immediate manicure...

What? This is "maximum efficiency", not "gaperish"

p.s. that story with the "cobra" was fucking hilarious

**RootSkier** · 02-24-2008, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by JohnF

She is looking at the chairs but not moving into position. She asks the lifty, "Is there a better chair coming?"

This might be funny if my local area's 19 minute chair was fully padded...some are plastic, some are bare plywood, and the rare few are padded. On slower days (any day besides Saturday) we'll actually wait for padded chairs.

**green mtns rider** · 02-24-2008, 04:30 PM

lastnight at work, this guy at my table asks "is snoop dogg really playing across the street tonight, or is that just bullshit"

i just glanced over toward the club, with 300 people in line, 8 cop cars and 2 huge tour busses outside. told him i had no idea snoop was in town.

**thedefone** · 02-24-2008, 07:21 PM

This might be funny if my local area's 19 minute chair was fully padded...some are plastic, some are bare plywood, and the rare few are padded. On slower days (any day besides Saturday) we'll actually wait for padded chairs.

Sounds like the Powder Mountain chair at Lost Trail. That bad-boy is painful. forealz.. If Lost trail wasn't so awesome in it's local-ness, there would be soooo many gaper quotes from that place. But, LT is too rad.

**bones get broke** · 02-24-2008, 08:50 PM

Oakie Douche: Why don't they groom more of this area?
Me: Why do you want more groomers?
Oakie Douche: Well what kind of snow do YOU like to ski?
Me: Pow
Oakie Douche: Huh?
Me: Powder snow
Oakie Douche: Where is that at?
Me: (Blank stare as I turn my Ipod back on and say nothing)