I'm a killer, TR.

[BakerBoy]

It's true. My neighbor and I are killers. We killed a hornet hive the size of two basketballs tonight. I feel ashamed, yet thrilled at the conquest.

After careful inspection post-dawn, the deadly black hornets appeared dormant. At least, the 15 guard bees on the double-basketball sized nest. After we donned our protective gear which included duct-taped raingear and a drysuit replete with helmet and PFD (later, to be explained), we closed in and examinied the nest. After a few beers, and parking my buddy's Tacoma closer, we decided to start hitting it with wasp/hornet killer from the local farm store. Each of us with a can in hand seemed likely to be enough. But it was not to be. While we were both running out of our loads, we heard buzzing from within. My buddy grabbed the 3rd can of spray, and I got the can of Big Gap Filler. We noticed some angry hornets attempting to emerge from the small hole in the huge nest, and after some careful on-the-fly planning, I injected the hole with spray foam while he let off with the hornet/wasp spray. Immediately thereafter I wrapped the entire nest up in a burlap bag, then zip tied the top. Then he finished the can of bee killer on it. Following that, I wrapped it again with another burlap bag. Satisfied with our work, I cut the branch off with my river knife, and we paraded around the neighborhood proudly. Until I heard some more buzzing from within.

At that point, we were pretty drunk, and pretty pissed off at these bees, so we did the only thing reasonable -- we got a can of pre-mix gas, his shotgun, and a few more beers.

We wandered down to the creek, and checked out a good location. After finding a suitable spot, I doused the entire thing in about a half gallon of pre-mix, lit it on fire, and threw it into the river. Apparently that much pre-mix goes a long way, as I nearly singed my face, but the bobbing firery target was just too good to pass up. The first shot went wide. The second shot from 15 feet was a direct hit, and sank the entire flaming bag into the creek. A couple of feet later, it surfaced, rekindled it previous flame, until it was shot a 3rd time, at which is went out completely.

After being satisfied by our hornet slaying and picking up the shells, we returned home, smelling of booze, gunpowder, and wasp spray. I hope everyone else's Monday was as invigorating.

PS, pictures to follow.

[Mach Looney]

Didn't you hear about the bee shortage?

[truth]

I hope you were wearing the "girl with a gun" shirt as stipulated in section 5 article 34.2 of your contract.

[fiddler]

Brutal!
My Monday wasn't quite as invigorating.
All I did was go in to work only to discover I'd previously signed up for vacation. Went home for more sleep. Bought some Guardex studless snow tires for cheap, went to chiropractor, removed Camry's alternator, traded it in for a new one, installed. Cook steaks, drink wine, go on internet. Not even close to hornet slaughter.
Although now that I think of it, I burned up a hornet once. It was while moving to Bellingham from Seattle. Actually my dad was driving my Hornet wagon and it caught on fire while he was driving up I5. He pulled in to the next rest area and some guy had an extinguisher and put the fire out. He then drove it the rest of the way. After looking under the hood I have no idea how he made it.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Didn't you hear about the bee shortage?

Honeybees yes. Pissed off giant black hornets - not so much.

Can't wait to see the pictures of your PPE.

[bio-smear]

Insert SNL "Taco Town" commercial where they wrap the double-shelled taco in a pepperoni pizza, deep fry it, then put it in a bag full of marinara sauce.

[Gunder]

PUSSY!!!!!

Dobis would have just shot the damn thing at point blank with the shot gun in the first place.

[GoNads]

Rookies, its all about the WD-40 and the lighter. Duh.

Although the shotgun is impressive too...

[Hicks]

Sounds rad!

But after a couple of more beers he fired at your ass in lieu of the bees nest, no?

[MTT]

so we did the only thing reasonable -- we got a can of pre-mix gas, his shotgun, and a few more beers.
.

Every great story has this line in it somewhere

[japollner]

Im going to hold out for pics on this one...

[boarderline]

Easily the most redneck thing I've read in a while. I mean, c'mon, dangerous animals, loads of beer, flammable liquids, fire, AND a shotgun, all in the same outing? Bravo, seriously, bravo.

Almost as redneck as this picture:

[iceman]

You got nothing on these (rerun) guys.

[schueb82414]

Easily the most (entertaining) thing I've read in a while. dangerous animals, loads of beer, flammable liquids, fire, AND a shotgun, all in the same outing? sounds like a good time

There we go

[fiddler]

You got nothing on these (rerun) guys.

So thats what Honda brings out in people

[girlski0912]

It's true. My neighbor and I are killers. We killed a hornet hive the size of two basketballs tonight. I feel ashamed, yet thrilled at the conquest.

After careful inspection post-dawn, the deadly black hornets appeared dormant. At least, the 15 guard bees on the double-basketball sized nest. After we donned our protective gear which included duct-taped raingear and a drysuit replete with helmet and PFD (later, to be explained), we closed in and examinied the nest. After a few beers, and parking my buddy's Tacoma closer, we decided to start hitting it with wasp/hornet killer from the local farm store. Each of us with a can in hand seemed likely to be enough. But it was not to be. While we were both running out of our loads, we heard buzzing from within. My buddy grabbed the 3rd can of spray, and I got the can of Big Gap Filler. We noticed some angry hornets attempting to emerge from the small hole in the huge nest, and after some careful on-the-fly planning, I injected the hole with spray foam while he let off with the hornet/wasp spray. Immediately thereafter I wrapped the entire nest up in a burlap bag, then zip tied the top. Then he finished the can of bee killer on it. Following that, I wrapped it again with another burlap bag. Satisfied with our work, I cut the branch off with my river knife, and we paraded around the neighborhood proudly. Until I heard some more buzzing from within.

At that point, we were pretty drunk, and pretty pissed off at these bees, so we did the only thing reasonable -- we got a can of pre-mix gas, his shotgun, and a few more beers.

We wandered down to the creek, and checked out a good location. After finding a suitable spot, I doused the entire thing in about a half gallon of pre-mix, lit it on fire, and threw it into the river. Apparently that much pre-mix goes a long way, as I nearly singed my face, but the bobbing firery target was just too good to pass up. The first shot went wide. The second shot from 15 feet was a direct hit, and sank the entire flaming bag into the creek. A couple of feet later, it surfaced, rekindled it previous flame, until it was shot a 3rd time, at which is went out completely.

After being satisfied by our hornet slaying and picking up the shells, we returned home, smelling of booze, gunpowder, and wasp spray. I hope everyone else's Monday was as invigorating.

PS, pictures to follow.

Life in Glacier is doing wonders for your personal growth and development BB. You guys were one shotgun away from a Darwinian newspaper headline...

[killclimbz]

I don't know about you guys, but I want to see the pics...

[grrrr]

That could make a reality show

Offseason in the East County...

[BigJay]

You got nothing on these (rerun) guys.

Haha I was wondering where that was from but I couldn't find it. Good work!

[wanghoeby]

Where are the pictures already.

[Tresckow]

You got nothing on these (rerun) guys.

Wow, my life seems so tame nowadays, compared to those guys anyway.

BTW good stuff BB, way to mix all sorts of fun and dangerous things into a evening. Makes me want to get drunk and wander around my yard with firearms and combustibles looking for something to fuck with.

[FreakofSnow]

I hope you had the proper permits for that. Black hornets are on the endangered list...........

[Huckwheat]

WWP.....

[iceman]

I hope you had the proper permits for that. Black hornets are on the endangered list...........

And if they weren't, they are now.

[Smails]

I definitely enjoyed that TR more than I thought I would when I started reading!