friday game: stupid things said to you by non-skiers/riders

[WWCD]

Okay its not a friday but this thread is classic. It has basically turned into funniest/stupidest things said by gapers.

so bizzump to the top

That's a weird thing for someone to say on the lift.

[icedtea]

Guys on trading floor: Do you want to go skiing this weekend?
Me: Hell yeah! Where?
Guys on trading floor: Probably at Collin's apartment, then Bungalo 8, maybe latenight at Misshapes
Me: ????

Now I know not to talk about 'skiing' at work.

Same thing..one depressed summer day at work, I was just lamenting how wonderful a blizzard in July would be to a co-worker....
The next day everyone thinks I have a problem and I have to explain to my boss how I have a snowboard addiction..not 'powder' addiction...
f'ing fiends...

[Nitro]

In Chicago for work:
"You're from A$$pen?? A$$pen, California?"

[BushwackerinPA]

funny thing today

Instructor "where do you live at?"
5 year old girl "south Amercia"
Instructor " what country in South America"
5 Year old girl "texas"

[Endlessseason]

I overheard this from a woman at Snowbird during the busy powder week early March:
"Honey, we're not coming here again. They make us group up in fours every time we want to get on the chair."

[Endlessseason]

Also have heard countless times: "We're never coming here again because they don't close the tram doors fast enough--it makes people think they can keep loading it."

[Phill]

The snow's too heavy here, I liked colorodo better.

[valleygirl]

"at what altitude do the deer turn into elk?"

OMG Just spit a bite of baked potato onto my keyboard...

[mrkristofo]

The following events took place at a Checker auto parts store while I was stocking up on fluids for a road trip.

"Changin' yer fluids, huh?"
"Nope, just grabbing some for the road"
"Where ya headed?"
"Jackson"
"You a skier?"
"Yeah."
"You ski in the out of bounds backcountry?"
"Yeah."
"Whooooooeeeee man whatchu guys do out there try to set off avalanches n shit then outrun em?"
"Uhhh...."
"I tell you man I was watchin the news the other day and this snowboarder came in and all of a sudden he was swooped off his feet. Man he was tumblin! You guys make bets of how many avalanches you can outrun?"
"Sure"
"Man you guys are adventure junkies. You make your buddies take a shot if they're to slow"
"Usually we dig them out first"
"What?"
"Nevermind"

[Griz]

It drives me nutz when they jump back and forth - in an "air guitar" version of skiing - and go swishhhhhhh swishhhhhh swishhhhhhh as though they are making turns. I usually stand there dumbfounded for words... any suggestions?

[Steepdeepnlong]

It drives me nutz when they jump back and forth - in an "air guitar" version of skiing - and go swishhhhhhh swishhhhhh swishhhhhhh as though they are making turns. I usually stand there dumbfounded for words... any suggestions?

Smack them with your pole.

Conversation a few years back with my now ex-wife:

Me: Check it out honey, Pocket Rockets!
Ex: Why do you need another pair of skis?
Me: Well, these are nice for skiing the deeper stuff, and they're fun.
Ex: You mean you need skis for snow that you'll ski like 6 or 7 times a year?
Me: Well, yeah. More if you count the annuals to Jackson and Alta!
Ex: I suppose you'll need bindings for those too?

I bit my tongue at this point.

I miss her.

[cascadianwarrior]

Working the ticket office at Stevens Pass:

Jong: "Do you guys turn the lights on for night skiing?"

Me: "Nah, we hand out candles at the bottem of the lift."

[akrdubbs]

On the gondola at the Canyons with some lady from California:
"So are you a local?"
"Um ... no. I just moved here."
"But you live here, right?"
"Yeah ..."
"So you're a local."

At that point I pretended my IPod was acting up so I wouldn't have to explain anything that might make her head hurt.

[ChamArtist]

Yelling from chairlift to verge of controll gaper below on groomer: "Hey! Your shoe's untied." Then watching as gaper looks down to check & proceeds to yard sale.

Me: "How's the reception down there?"
Then watching as gaper shows puzzled look as he/she continues to swiggle around with poles in perfect rabbit-ear antenna formation through armpits ...

[ant]

1. You can't ski when it's snowing though, right? / Do they close the resort if it starts snowing?

2. Where did you learn to ski? Australia? But there's no snow/skiing in Australia, is there?

3. All this snow is man-made, isn't it? (often uttered during a snowfall).

4. Terrain parks are only for boarders (uttered while skiiers are sailing through the air like plane propellers in full view).

5. Do you work here? (No, I bought this suit with the mountain name and logo and "Ski School" all over it AND the name badge from the souvenir shop, you IDIOT).

I have heard all of the above about a billion times (I teach).

[idiot]

a tourist once asked me at baldwin beach lake tahoe in the summer.....

tourist points to mt. tallac.............

are those white patches snow?

[detroit]

35 degrees, raining steady.

"At least it's not snowing."


Kills me every time.

[Sethpistol1]

As I was the ticket office supervisor at Jackson Hole, I've heard way too many to mention, but the one that really pissed me off..."There's way too much snow out there, I can't ski it, I demand my money back. This is not what we paid for." Mind you, I was stuck inside the FUCKING OFFICE on a huge powder day when she said this. I walked to the back room and made someone else deal with her.

[advres]

This has nothing to do with sking or riding but was said by a non-skier so I'll post it.

This didn't happen to me but my friend relayed the story to me. He was helping his brother and some of his brothers friends paint the inside of the house. My friend, his brother and his brothers girlfriend were painting one of the downstairs rooms while others were painting upstairs.

The girlfriend gives a little shiver and complains it is too cold.
My friend nicely says: "We got this. Why don't you go and help in one of the rooms upstairs".
Stupid bitch: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Friend: "Heat rises, it will be warmer up there."
Stupid bitch: "You won't get me with that one."
Friend: "Excuse me?"
Stupid bitch: "If heat did rise, then there wouldn't be snow on mountains."

I pray to god my friend was pulling my leg when he told me this story, but I have met the girl, and this seems like something that would fall out of her mouth.

[Tippster]

Tonight at my daughter's Elementary School fundraiser auction:

I told a guy there we were heading to LCC on Thursday for Spring Break. His reply, in a very snooty and dismissive voice: "Why would you go to Utah in the spring? Skiing? Good God, it's GOLF SEASON!"

I got him back tho - when he wasn't looking I stuck my finger in my nose and dunked it in his wine glass.

[Cliff Huckable]

"Skiing? Why would you like skiing?!"

- by someone who believes skiing is "classist"

+

Me: "Do you have any ski movies - Matchstick Productions, TGR, that kind of thing?"

Snotty owner of video store: "Hmpf. Of course not - we only have real movies."

Of course she had lots of Adam Sandler and Pauly Shore movies, so I don't know what gave her the right to act superior.

[TahoePowShredder]

"well we had the nice weather here, it wasn't snowing"

fuckin retard

[ant]

On a crowded traverse at Loon, years ago, random older dude in a crappy wedge, repeated every 20 feet or so, "WATCH OUT BEHIND ME!!!!," while turning back to look behind him. WTF?!

He was a considerate man. He'd been at the prunes, and was issuing public service announcements (punctuated with farts).

[ant]

Another couple I have heard way too many times:

Do you own your own skis? (No, and carpenters rent their hammers, too).

How do you become instructors? Do you first work as lifties and then after a time get to be instructors? (Only heard that one once, and still cannot fathom how they dreamed it up).

Oh, and here's another how long is a piece of string one:

How many lessons must I have before I can ski blacks? (Skiing blacks is easy, a bag of laundry duct-taped to a pair of skis can do it; it's the stopping that might be a challenge).

[splat]

So what do you do in the summer? Make water skis?